I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

bluedahlia

STEP PROCEDURES FOR GIVING A CAT A PILL



1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm

as if holding a

baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of

cat's mouth and

gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right

hand. As cat

opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth

and swallow.



2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.

Cradle cat in left arm

and repeat process.



3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.



4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm,

holding rear paws

tightly with left hand. Gently force jaws open and push

pill to back of

mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of

ten.



5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of

wardrobe. Call

spouse from garden.



6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees,

hold front and rear

paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold

head firmly with

one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill

down ruler and rub

cat's throat vigorously.



7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from

foil wrap. Make

note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep

shattered

figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for

gluing later.



8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat

with head just

visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking

straw, force mouth

open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.



9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans;

drink 1 beer to

take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and

remove blood from

carpet with cold water and mild soap.



10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill.

Open another beer.

Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck, to leave

head showing. Gently

force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat

with an elastic

band.



11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door

back on hinges.

Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply

cold compress to

cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.

Apply whiskey

compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot.

Throw Tee shirt away

and fetch new one from bedroom.



12. Call fire department to retrieve the dern it cat from

across the road.

Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving

to avoid cat.

Take last pill from foil wrap.



13. Tie the little bucky's front paws to rear paws with

garden twine and

bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty

pruning gloves from

shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet

steak Be rough

about it if necessary. Hold head vertically and pour 2

pints of water down

throat to wash pill down.



14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to

the emergency

room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm

and removes

pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way

home to order new

table.



15. Arrange for SPCA to collect the "mutant cat from hell"

and call local

pet shop to see if they have any really small hamsters.



HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL



1. Wrap pill in bacon.

2. Toss in the air

RetiredLibby

http://billmoyers.com/2013/11/11/most-of-those-outraged-by-obamacare-enjoy-big-taxpayer-subsidies-themselves/

From billmoyers.com - you just have to shake your head. Remember, they hate people on SNAP, but honor veterans. Except the 5,000 active-duty military families chucked off of SNAP by their cute. Or the 900,000 veterans who were cut from SNAP rolls. Or the veterans who are homeless. Or who need extra help.

bluedahlia

Hope that makes you ladies laugh a little!

QuinnCat

Blue - I'm dying of laughter. I was telling one of my pill reinforcements, SNL needs to do a skit on giving a cat a pill. You've already done it. My Ace pill giver came this morning and it was priceless. After getting the pill into Ms Boo, I said "You're so good Tina, I wish I had video'd that." That was Boo's cue to spit the pill out! We were both laughing and wish we had it on video.

pupmom

Chloe liked pill pockets for all of two doses, then no more. But, yeah, I can see how it is much more difficult getting meds down a cat. Just follow blue's recipe and you'll be fine!

Alyson

In our house Blue - how to give a cat a tablet - put it on the floor.

We don't do poppies for Remembrance day we have them for ANZAC Day which is the 25th April. We do though mark Nov 11th but it is not a holiday like Anzac Day.

QuinnCat

Step 1 is actually how my friend does it, but how in the world?? (I'm always on the other end of the cat.)

Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of

cat's mouth and

gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right

hand.

How do you hold the pill in your right hand while using the right thumb and forefinger for opening the mouth?

208sandy

Oh Blue that was too funny (and so true)!

alexandria58

Blue - hilarious. I've been there with pilling poor Mozart in his last year.

Kam and Yorkie, thinking of both of you and your babies.

Waving hello from Vermont. DD and new SIL came in from LA and we drove up here to check on the house and get a cake for DD's birthday. Good thing, too. The furnace was out, the low temperature alarm was on the fritz, and we're about to have some 15 degree weather. If I hadn't made it up, we'd have busted pipes and a hell of a mess. So, the wood stoves are going and we've been clearing out the dead mice.

Been thinking of the WWII veterans in my family. My MIL, whom we lost last March; my father, who's declining. My uncle who fought in the Pacific and died last year. So sad to see them disappearing.

crazy4carrots

One of our cats, way back when, always seemed very co-operative in taking a pill -- even faking a swallow. Of course, a few hours later, we would find said pill on the floor. Another cat managed to always foam at the mouth ("Stay away from me; I might have rabies").

Thank goodness most meds now come in liquid form. The vet supplies the disposable tiny syringes, although it still takes two of us to manage the feline -- one to hold the beast, and the other to shoot the meds into a slightly open mouth!

suzieq60

Aly - that's weird you don't do poppies for 11th November - we do. Can't remember about Anzac day as we are off work, so 'don't see the service men and women selling anything.

kayfh

Apparently the Canadian Legion sells 18,000,000 poppies each year and raises 14 million dollars to pay for things that veterans can't afford. Like new eye glasses. The poppy sales start around our Thanksgiving. After the ceremony at the cenotaph kids ( and lots of people who used to be kids) place their poppies on the wreaths placed during the ceremony. Thus guaranteeing a continuous need for poppies next year....and the next.

pip57

Yes, I always save my poppies but never reuse them because it defeats part of their purpose. Spent another Memorial Day in US. No minute of silence or specials on most radio stations like we are used to. That always surprises me.

crazy4carrots

A smart person wrote a letter to the Editor of my paper regarding Remembrance Day. He suggested it would be so very much better to "remember" on this day how the wars started, instead of celebrating the end of them. I think he's right......

QuinnCat

Second that one C4C!

Finally saw that clip of Sara Palin with Matt Lauer. I actually find these things incredibly entertaining, now that she's not a threat to be a heartbeat away from becoming President (OMG - what a disastor that would be).

The plan is to allow those things that have been proposed over many years to reform a health-care system in America that certainly does need more help so that there’s more competition, there’s less tort-reform threat, there’s less trajectory of the cost increases. And those plans have been proposed over and over again. And what thwarts those plans? It’s the far left. It’s President Obama and his supporters who will not allow the Republicans to usher in free-market, patient-centered doctor-patient relationship … to reform health care.

I suppose this is what happens when SP's side doesn't really have an alternative plan other than a bunch of silly catch phrases that are meaningless. It is so confusing for Sara!

crazy4carrots

Less tort reform threat? Huh, really? I thought that tort reform was just about the only thing the GOP actually wanted, oh, and being able to buy insurance across state lines.

Ah, Snowdrift Snookie is so very far past her sell-before date....

QuinnCat

I forgot - Sara can only answer questions that she's prepared for in advance. I just can't get over her syntax. A 43 word sentence that might be boiled down to 15 words (while corrected for meaning and other problems that might give more honor to the English language). The words incoherent and ignorant come to mind. Can't believe there are still Palin apologists out there. It's really quite embarrassing that a large segment of the US population find this level of intellect acceptable for a Governor or POTUS!

Edited to add....I forgot, now plagiarism is also considered acceptable by that same crowd.

crazy4carrots

There should be a sin tax on her syntax

Bren-2007

Hi Everyone,

It's a cold gray afternoon here. I ran a bunch of errands and now I'm going to hibernate the rest of the day.

Carrots ... Looking for the "like" button. That was funny about the "sin tax."

Enjoyful ... Any word yet on the anesthesiologist? How's your arm/shoulder feeling?

hugs,

Bren

Anonymous

C4C " Ah, Snowdrift Snookie is so very far past her sell-before date...."

You're on fire today! Splurted tea all over da putah.

Kam - you deserve a medal if you watched Putsy Palin without using the mute button. She's so hard to mock, just repeating what she says is hysterical. Almost makes me wanna stay up late enuf to watch SNL.

In the 20's today, cold, and damp. About an inch of snow. Almost too cold for snow...supposed to be back near 50 by weekend.

Alexandria - glad you saved your furnace AND PIPES. WOW.

IllinoisLady

Glad I had all liquids down before I started reading. Carrots....it is all too funny. Hard to imagine that so many of the SP's types don't realize how easy it is for comedians to pick up good material and not one iota is wrestled down, that is for sure. I always wish there were a HRR ( human response reaction ) available to those who see themselves as so talented on the talking circuit which would explain in no un-certain terms how they REALLY look and sound to so very, very many of the American people.

Kam, I can't recall if I said that I've often gotten around my cat and liquid medications by squirting it on their forepaws. I just don't like the lacerations I've often come away with while not managing to get materials down the animals at all. There is a way for pills, but you have to be really quick.....put it as far back as you can in their throat, and then pet, caress the throat and neck area until you actually see the cat swallow at least once. A royal pain anyway, but a lot of the time it works.

Blue.....I've read your piece a number of times and it is always hilariously funny. There is often so smarter animal on this earth than a cat who does not want your pills and liquid medication.....thanks anyway.

Jackie

IllinoisLady

This piece comes from Real Truth Now.

IllinoisLady

GlobalGirlyGirl

Sarah Palin is a Class A moron.  #SarahPalinBooks was trending on Twitter yesterday, and I nearly died laughing at the titles:

50 Shades of No Grey Matter

Cheat, Pray, Gov

Being a Dummy for Dummies

I'm Not Afraid of Virginia Woolf - I'll Shoot Her From a Helicopter

How to Build a Bridge to Nowhere for Dummies (a.k.a. the McCain Presidential campaign)

crazy4carrots

G3 -- You're giving credit to Palin for being a Class A. Sorry, the woman has NO class!

BTW -- love the book titles!!!

GlobalGirlyGirl

C4C - Good point. Especially when she compared the deficit to slavery? Certifiably class free.

bluedahlia

GGG, LMBO!

bluedahlia

bluedahlia

bluedahlia