Reconstruction for women 40-60ish???

VJSL8

Just have read this thread and wanted to add in what I do when others ask to see--I say as long as they disrobe too--only fair--you show me yours, and I'll show you mine.

Kelben----did you ask your friends and family why they weren't supportive? Did they think you were too old or were they worried about having another surgery? Or a reminder that the "cancer treatment" is still on going? Have a joyous day. VJ

lbrewer

I am 56 and had reconstruction 2 years ago. YOU ARE NOT FOOLISH!  DIEP is major surgery but I plan on living a long time. The way you look affects the way you feel.  Maybe it shouldn't but it does. I am not vain, but I deserve not to feel I look like a "cancer victim" every day. I get enough reminders with all the pills I have to take!     I got my 1 in hair colored, got acrylic nails and now eyelash extensions. 

You don't say where you are but many here can give you reccomedations for DIEP surgeons.  Feel free to PM me if you want.

mscal02

Hi All. I am 58 and have just this week had my scan done for DIEP. I went to see my breast surgeon on yesterdy to get her opinion. She gave me her blessing and have agreed to do my prophylatic mastectomy at the time of my DIEP. My daughters are really excited about me having reconstruction. My husband wants me to do what is best for me.After surgery I thought that I am too old for another surgery but have changed my mind and have started the ball rolling. I went to Aruba last summer and could not enjoy myself. I was not able to wear a swimming suit and I am tired of the lopsidness and not being able to wear anything low cut. I have to put my hand up to my chest when I bend over to keep anyone from seeing the padding in my bra. I feel good about my decision, and am looking forward to my future with breasts.I told my breast surgeon yersterday heck,I might live another 20 years and she said that is right. She is 65.

Carolyn

CrazyKitties

I got immediate reconstruction with tissue expanders and I am glad!!! Do it during the tough surgery, you deserve to feel comfortable in clothes. I do not regret it one bit.

3daywalker

Kathy

It is all about how you feel, I wouldn't want to walk around without my 2 new boobies! I love having new ones, cancer free and perky! It has definitely helped with my outlook. Go for it girl!!!

CrazyKitties

I am going to be 50 next week. The day I had the appt. with my primary surgeon about my biopsy coming back positive for bc, his office set up an appt. with a ps.   We are not old women with no chance of a sex life again!

Kezzie62

I have the opposite problem, I am 49 and I am booked to have a BMX on March 18.  I do not want ant reconstruction but everyone is so shocked to hear that, they try to change my mind, telling me that I will regret it for the rest of my life and that I must think about my posture and future health.  I have spend a good deal of time researching all the recon types available and I do not feel they are for me.  I will be quite happy if my surgeon can give me the best FLAT result possible.  I know I might need a tidy up by a PS once I am fully healed and that I can live with.

 I feel every woman has the right to choose what is right for her instead of other people wanting you to do what they think is right for you...

 Good Luck to all..

Kezzie

Sandy105

Kalben,

I am 61 and my BS has recommended a PMX due to my strong personal breast history as well as my lengthy family history of breast cancer. When I first met with her, she discussed the PMX AND IMMEDIATE resonstruction! I don't think she thought twice about it - she had, of course, already done a complete review of my medical history and I do have other health problems. Apparently, even though my other medical problems are numerous, she had spoken with my internist, cardiologist, and every other doc I see to get their opinion. They concurred with her opinion - I am healthy enough to have reconstruction.

My children's father was a "breast man." The wonderful man to whom I am now married is a "butt man" so the loss of my breasts would't make any difference to him and how he sees me. He understands completely it makes a great deal of difference to me and supports me completely. I am one lucky woman!

YOU ARE NOT OLD! I really believe there is no point in a woman's life where she thinks her breasts aren't important! Some women decide not to do reconstruction and are quite happy with their choice. I think it is marvelous they make their own personal decision for their own personal reasons are feel their reasons are quite valid. 

On the other hand, many others decide to have reconstrucrion for the same reason. They feel they will feel better about the whole mess if they havie reconstruction of their breasts. Their reasons are also quite valid for this is a very personal decision.

No matter which way you go, do this for yourself! Do whatever you feel will be best for you! It is your body and you have every right to make decisiions about it for yourself and your own well being. (You are not being vein if you decide for reconstruction; you are also not being foolish it you decide against it.)

Best of luck with this difficult decision!

Sandy

brendaclee3

Hi Kelben,

I just turned 60 and I'm scheduled for the DIEP in May (when school is out). I have felt inferior ever since I lost my right breast in 98.  I can't wait for a new boob and a new outlook on myself.  Don't listen to people, just do your own thing.  I find the less people I talk to about decisions that ultimately only affect me, the better.  Go for it, then go out and buy a sexy sun dress.

lynne66

I've just had reconstruction using back muscle I didn't need implants cos Im only small and wanted to stay small.  I had it in January and it is amazing it looks and feels real and I now feel a million dollars going out with me push up bra on n me low cut tops. I was very depressed and suicidal beforehand; couldn't accept myself without it but now my confidence and zest for life is back with a vengance, tremendous feeling and the recovery wasn't bad either had pain in me back for a couple days after but that was about it. 

pattibear

you are definitely not too old to have reconstruction even if you were 80. shame on anyone who gives you that idea.im 60 and getting it .its bad enough going thru the chemo ,etc so to have a pair of perkier boobs is the least we deserve. you walk into that surgery, head held high, im right behind you

twozzs46

kelben - The way a woman feels about her appearance is important.  Body image is ageless.  It doesn't matter if you are 9 or 90.  Don't let anyone make you feel uncomfortable aboout your decision.  As others have said.  Each one of us has to make our decision to have reconstruction or not based on our own personal reasons.  I am 47 and had a partial masectomy (per path report) on rt. side.  It is at least 1/2 the size of the good side with the nipple much higher on that side than the other.  I didn't know how much this would bother me until after going through radiation.  My RO said that I have to wait at least 1 year before I can do any thing about reconstruction.  So I say go for it and enjoy your life with your new boob.  Don't worry about your age.  Good Luck.

Snobird

I'll be 57 soon and I had BMX/DIEP and I couldn't be happier. I did it for me and no one else. It doesn't really matter what anybody else thinks. As long as the DOCS are OK with it why not?

iodine

In my opinion, recon is not only cosmetic, but has a great deal to do with our posture and well being.  When I was going thru expansion, I humped my shoulders to cover the fact that my belly stuck out more (it seemed to me) without the boobs above it to make it look smaller.

I began having back problems with the change in my posture and I also know of some women who have large breasts who change the way they stand due to the loss of "weight" on the mast side.  Now, I understand that prothesis can help those who don't want recon, and even if the only reason I wanted recon was for vanity, SO WHAT! 

I like that my clothes fit better at the top and that I don't have to buy special swim suits, bras, etc.  And at 67, I just don't need the hassel.

identtwins

That is crazy my mom is 64 and just had full face lift and neck lift and just scheduled eyeliner permanent makeup.  Go for the reconstruction baby.  You deserve it

fightn4fam

Hi kelben,

At what age are we supposed to stop feeling good about ourselves?  I'm 43 and have been diagnosed with this awful disease, but I don't care if I was 101 years old, if I still wanna feel good about myself, I'm gonna go for it.  I tell my kids I will forever be a kid.  I refuse to grow up.  You are NOT 62 years old, you are 62 years young.  There is no set age that says we are to stop feeling good about ourselves.  If this is what you want, so long you are health permits, go for it.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.  I love it when people do what makes them happy and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks.  You owe it to yourself to be happy.  I don't know your health situation but my advice is ONLY if health permits.  Unless, your family has concerns about your health (which might be the case) then, they should support your decision.  HOWEVER, by the same token, you are gonna be beautiful no matter what your decision and just ask your family, I bet you they'll agree.  Love is being sent your way.  I'm still struggling with what i will ultimately do, surgery has been scheduled for May 13th...

Anonymous

My mother in law was diagnosed with DCIS 11 years ago at the age of 62 and needed a MX on her right side. I just had second son at the time and she was still grieving over the lost of her husband two years previously. When her BS suggested reconstruction she immediately said no. I spent the next couple of weeks before surgery was scheduled trying to convince her to reconsider. I told her "mom you have to get up every morning an look at yourself, put on clothes etc do you really want the hassle of trying to figure out what to wear with one boob and nothing on the other side". She agreed to the reconstruction and came through just fine but never really talked about it again and I always thought that I may have bullied her into the surgery (she does not have any daughters only 3 sons who she would not begin to bring up this subject). Well, since I had my BMX in March with TEs she has begun to talk about her experience more and just a few weeks ago at dinner stated she was so happy that she had the reconstruction and thanked me for talking her into it. She told me she never regretted the decision. As I talked about my experience and all of the steps involved (i.e nipples etc)(she opted not to at the time) she turned to my sister in law and me and said that maybe she would go back and get her nipples. I almost fell off the chair. I am happy that she has no regrets but agree that it is a very personal decision for each of us but age should have nothing to do with our "right" to have reconstruction options

OpalCrocker1961

Your age should make no difference to the way you see yourself and the way others see you.  I know how you feel, 62 is still young nowadays, some people feel younger than others, some peoples ideals can be younger than their age,  If you want a reconstruction you go for it, I am and I'm approaching fifty with the body of a forty year old and the mind of a 28 year old.  I am still smarting after a mastectomy, but have no hesitation about having a reconstruction.  My only worry is losing sensation in my right nipple when they adjust it to match the left breast during a reduction operation.  Tell people that you are still a woman and need support in feeling like a woman and want your body whole again, ther is nothing wrong with feeling this way no matter what your age is.  Not everybody feels this way and that is wonderful for them, but I'm sure they understand that we all feel differently about such a dramatic transformation and would support us all the way. You hang in there and stay determined and positive,  I will be thinking of you. xxx

sas-schatzi

Kelben go for it and don't look back---------just do it!  It's not their breast. It's not their body. And you have plenty of years left. There is very few of the 95000+ women here who wouldn't support you . We outnumber the naysayers. At 59 now 60 with a bmx and implants . In a do over , I would have done a diep or deip(SIC). Just by coming here for advice , I believe you are just looking for confirmation from women that did it. AND that many women have. Your comeback comment bag should be near full. Here's to your choice and full recovery. I tip me glass too you in the spirit of self fulfillment. 

mscal02

Hi Ladies: My DIEP is scheduled for next Friday the 20th. After talking with my BS and Onc, I decided to not to have the prophalatic mx. I will have the uni DIEP instead.I was originally scheduled for July 8th, but someone else wanted to go later. I had my 59th birthday in April and I am so excited about having this done .My DDs and my DH supports me and wants me to be happy. Some people just don't get what we feel about not having breasts. I thought at first that I was too old for another surgery, but that was at the beginning when I had just finished the mx.

kelben: it's your choice and no one elses!

greytcruise

mscal02, how are you doing after your surgery?  At almost 49 I just had my exchange surgery and wouldn't have done it any differently unless it was a quality of life issue.  I support all of you for wanting to have foobs in your 50's and 60's or any age.  I agree with others, it is your life, your body and you need to do what feels right for you to get through this process feeling stong, positive and keeping your self-esteem. We have all been through too much to have someone tell us what to do, we must take control of our bodies and do what is right for us.  I have chosen not to have nipples, but will order some to play with that stick on.  Yes, I have been critized for it, but for me it is what "I" want and what is making me happy now.  I do not want to ever look back and say; should have"and neither should anyone else.  The whole process kinda sucks so any happiness we can find, we need to have that makes us feel confident in ourselves. Cheers to those doing what they want!

DocBabs

Some people are "old" at 50, some don't get there till 80.I opt for the latter. I'm 67 , had BMX with TEs 6 weeks ago and can't wait to get my new breasts.They're going to be smaller and definatelt not as droopy as my originals.I play tennis almmost every day and I can see already that my movement is better even with the TEs( not that I was huge, D cup). I'm headed for my pre-pregnancy B.Who says you can't go back in time???

Seriously, it's your body and if it make s you feel better do whatever you have to.I'm an RN,haven't worked in years, but I remember women waking up after having the total mastectomies that they used to do years ago,crying and feeling their chests.They looked so sad. I woke up after my surgery and looked at my chest,breasts still there (saline filled) nipples too, chest numb but every body part that I've ever had surgery on was also numb afterwards.Psychologically, this whole cancer thing has been much easier for me to deal with knowing that I still look like me, I am still me but better!!

wallycat

The diagnosis is hard enough; to be judged for decisions we make because of our dx is no one's business.  It is one thing if you ask someone's opinion (and even then, no law says you have to TAKE any opinions that are given) but for someone to voice it freely?  Let them walk a mile in your shoes.

There are 30-40 year olds not healthy enough for additional surgeries and 60+ who are way healthy and can handle it.  Ultimately, it is a decision between you and your doctor.

I was 1 month shy of 50 when I was dx and I opted for bx mast. and no recon.  My hubby supported my decison.  My breast surgeon wanted me to meet with plastic surgeons.  Frankly, they all thought a lumpectomy and rads was all I needed.  It was not in my comfort zone and I ignored them.  I met with the plastic surgeon and was unwilling to go through any more to make me look complete without being able to have the sensations in my boobs.  To me, it was not worth it, so even though I was "only" 50 and healthy enough to endure any surgery I wanted, I mentally did not feel the need.  I can't tell you how many friends and family told me I was wrong and should go through reconstruction.  Fine, when they get diagnosed, they can do what they want with their body.

Same for you...if you want reconstruction and feel it will put closure on this and make you feel whole, that is what you should do!!

bruthd52

Kathy,   I am the same age and last week had left mastectomy with immediate reconstructive surgery.  I went to multiple BS and PS because I wanted skin sparing, nipple sparing mastectomy if at all possible.  At least 3 essentially told me to get over it and have a complete mastectomy.   I ended up finding a BS who is a 2.5 hr drive for me but she was so caring and compassionate as was the PS that I went to NJ (from CT) for the surgery.   I"d has 3 lumpectomies and didn't want to be "deformed".   The huge laugh for me was the BS told me I has the breasts of a 25 yr old.  I cracked up because I said "and now you're taking one off." Anyway, I actually haf the mast. which was skin sparing, nipple sparing and am SO glad. The scaring is also minimal. I know I'll never look exactly as I did 6 mos ago but I'll look "normal."  Just because your are certain age doesn't mean you shouldn't have all your body parts as much as possible.  I'm divorced and maybe will meet a wonderful man.  I'd still like to have sex and feel good about myself.   Go for it.   Feel free to personally email me.

                Beverly in Bolton

rmorales8860

I am 51 and I can't wait to get my reconstruction.  I call it my present to me for having cancer. I am getting the cadillac version.  Two new (large B or small C, because I have always been really big) perky boobs and a tummy tuck.  I feel I deserve it for everything I have been through.  I say go for it and make it worth your while. We may be old but we are not dead!

Scuba_duchess

Agree with all, your call. I opted for LAT reconstruction immediately with BMX. My DH was supporting me whatever way. Figure there would be pain and struggle no matter what I did, liked the idea of going with a pla to put me back on the road to good things (knew there might be issues). I am 46 and in good health otherwise I think that is one consideration not to overlook. Being physically strong going in has to make the recovery more manageable.



Then right decision is the one you make with what you know at the time. I am not going to look backward no matter what plays out - I will deal with it and keep moving!