Great saying about depression

Stanzie

No it isn't getting better at all. I'm getting kind of freaked... I posted it all on the Grr LE thread - Hurts to much to type more.... I don't like this!

Stanzie

Shoot I've figured it out - it is shingles!!! Now I want to cry. I've had them before!!

barbe1958

OH sweetie!!! At least shingles will go away!! Kate is right about clearing the area to move lymph fluid too, I really shouldn't have posted half of an action...sorry!! Now, let's get the shingles dealt with. My step-father actually had to get a morphine pump installed so he could deal with the pain of his shingles. Don't feel like you can't complain, they CAN help you, but you have to let them know how much you hurt. Please let us know that you are going to see a doctor today....??

Anonymous

Stanzie- I posted on FB but wanted to put it here, too, that you should get the shingles vaccine if you haven't already. My Mom has shingles and they told her the vaccine can help prevent future breakouts and lessen the severity of the ones she does get. You should also have a prescription of antivirals on hand at all time and start them the second you suspect you're having a breakout. This will decrease your chance of it developing into chronic long term pain. So sorry you are dealing with this.



They now recommend anyone over 50 get this vaccine. Insurance doesn't always cover it, and it can be expensive (over $200) but my Mom said if it prevents anyone from getting shingles it will be the best money you've ever spent.

Stanzie

Yes I would agree as Shingles are terribly nasty. I read that the steroids I'm on will help as well and have taken two doses so far of the anti-viral. The rash already look better - and the pain isn't as intense. I also got some nerve creme and it helps a lot but it stings after a short bit so I end up washing it off.

When I had Shingles before it was a very tiny patch but was painful. My Mom took one look and knew what it was. It looked like it before and the pain is that burning and itchy pain. I'm just tired of feeling so dreadful Thank you all!

cmbear

Stanzie, I am so sorry to hear about the shingles! I saw an ad on the door of Walgreens yesterday for the shingles vaccine and told my DH that we need to get it. One thing I know that affects it is stress so light some candles and play some beach music and let your mind float away. . . 

Barbe--you should be painting pictures, not a whole room!! : ) Well, guess it took Michelangelo a few years to get his painting job done. . .

3jay--your last post sounds so positive--i'm glad you are feeling better!

Kate--don't you hate bureaucracy? Wonder if an actual human being read the letter they sent you. Truly a world of idiots.

Delilah--((((HUG)))) sounds like a rough last few weeks, glad you could find a chemical solution that works for you. Sometimes we have to change up the cocktail to find one that works for us.

Hopeful--been thinking about you lately as I have been getting thru my recon recovery, tomorrow will be 5 weeks. Hope you made it thru the holiday ok. And yes, I would love to sit on a patio sipping a margarita with all of you gals, make mine no salt please!

Di--Are you surviving the heat? A car in the city with no Ac is the pits. I'm standing in front of my freezer right now just thinking about it! And your niece Natalie--I believe she will make the National team, she sounds like she has the right stuff!!

Debbie--just want you to know, when I want to relax I imagine myself sitting at your place with the rain hitting the roof, ting, ting, and it just takes me away. Thanks for the visual.

My DH and I went up to St Augustine for a long weekend since he was off last week. He was off last week and he wanted to fly somewhere and really have an adventure. Uh, honey, I just had major surgery a month ago, I can't even stand up straight, I can't walk more than 100 feet without my back seizing and I need to sleep with about 8 pillows since I can't lay down just yet. So, yeah lets go hike the Grand Canyon!! We ended up hiking around the old city of St Aug in usual July Florida heat. Have to say my walking improved incredibly and my back spasms were fewer and far between--and I didn't take any muscle relaxants or pain meds all WE. Course that was cause I had to have a glass or two of wine. Damn they were good too!! The bad part was I got an awful allergic reaction/rash to the glue on my abdominal site and it is one angry red, itchy and sore. Cortisone made it worse so I finally broke down and got benadryl. Relief!! That and about an inch of the incision has opened up and is  oozing. Guess I overdid it?? Trying not to let DH know about the last part, let him think the trip had no drawbacks!( I was bitchy enough about the rash) Bottom line it was wonderful to stay at a B&B and be pampered. Next time we need to go when we can actually make it a "ROMANTIC" vacation!! hehehehe 

DiDel

Hey everyone...ok so I figured out that I had accidentally removed the email notification so I have to go back and read everything I have missed.

Stanzie so sorry about your shingles UGH!! That completely sucks but I am glad its not LE and that you are feeling some relief since taking meds. I always see the signs for the vaccine and was told I didnt really need to get it but may rethink it since so many people I know have had it in the last three months. I know its miserable. Sorry its yet another thing you have to deal with. How is Alfie??

Claire you are so funny! Yes no AC = no day trips. Yesterday I thought I was going to have heat stroke while driving around...thankfully I had a giant glass of ice water with me. It has been miserable and I look forward to the cold front moving through tonight and hope to get my AC fixed next week when I wont get over charged. Sounds like you had a really nice trip with your DH but you gotta be careful in the heat while your incision is healing...but you know that. I had an allergic to the stupid glue too it was miserable and in the heat I cant imagine how bad it itched. You should call your PS about the incision opening/oozing..that doesnt sound good.

3jays you sound so much better

Hopeful how are you healing/feeling???

Barbe keep us posted...waiting is the worst!

Kate how long before you get any kind of resolution to your hubbies disability? Is he getting paid something from SW in the meantime?? Sorry if you answered but I havent been able to get on to my computer most of the last week and I cant recall ...chemo brain...heat wave brain...storm brain.

Hadley Kathleen Elizabeth PTdreamers WRSmith and anyone else I hope you are all well...havent heard from some of you in a while. thinking of you all.

My niece is having a pipe dream of being on the National team since all the hype over the Olympics. She actually is focusing her energy on contacting colleges and letting them know when she will be at a tournament or showcase. She has gotten some great letters from coaches but mostly division 3 schools which my sister says dont give athletic scholarships ...so yesterday she got one from a division 1 school!! It was a great letter and a school that she hadnt even contacted. The coach said she saw her in Williamburg and was quite impressed. The coach also explained that since she is not officially a Junior she was not allowed to "recruit" her until September but asked her to complete this questionaire and said she would stay in touch and talk more in September. Its a great school that I would LOVE LOVE LOVE her to be accepted to..and get $$$. I am proud of her no matter what but I am so proud of how proactive she is being herself about getting out there and meeting as many college coaches as possible. She cracks me up with what a suck up she is ...it's an art you know.. Ha ha ok off to her evening hockey camp scrimmage. Its so freaking hot I cant believe it...one last day of sweating my ass off.

Hope everyone is having a peaceful Sunday.

Hugs to all...

Golden01

Kate, Just read a few pages back out your husband's disability application for Parkinson's Disease being denied by Social Security. I am so sorry, it is hard to imagine. I am just a little bit behind you as my husband left work full time at the end of April due to Parkinson's Disease. We just finished up all the paperwork for the Social Security Disability application this past week. Like you, his employer's disability insurance company has a contracted service helping us with the Social Security application. Like you, we live in Arizona so the same folks will be looking at my husband's application as turned down your husband for disability. We've been advised not to be surprised if the first application is denied. Seems like a Tsunami on top of your breast cancer. I hope they change their minds soon!

DiDel

OMG its 9am and already this day sucks...cant stop crying. My F&^%ing car broke down as I was on my way to my golf tournament that I have been looking forward to for weeks. I am certain its the transmission and I have zero dollars to fix it or buy a new car. I am screwed. Cant stop crying...tow truck driver is gonna think I am pathetic when he gets here.

I seriously hate life today. I never get a f*&^ing break.

cmbear

Oh Diane, I am so sorry!! ((((((((HUGS))))))))) What you need to find is a mechanic that will trade work for your culinary expertise. You could get a new transmission in trade for cupcakes for life!! I think any decent guy would go for that!!

Anonymous

Claire- Sorry about your incision but glad you were able to get away with your DH for the weekend.  I know it made a huge difference for my DH and I when we were able to do that a few weeks back.  It's nice to get away from it all and get connected again.  

Diane- I think the disability process for my DH will be a really long process.  He is getting paid by his airline so the only reason to do all this is to possibly get some financial benefit for our DS.  He would only get it until he's 18, though, so at this rate we probably won't see it!

Golden- I'm sorry you and your DH are dealing with Parkinson's, too.  It infuriates me that the first application is just automatically denied.  I think the minions who first see the app aren't even allowed to approve it.  The service who is helping us has now set up a phone interview for today where they will ask my DH more questions.  Not sure what the point was of sending him to their doctor when they ignored what the doctor said- that he was disabled and unable to do his job.  Sorry you have to deal with all this *%#$% too.  

Anonymous

Diane- Somehow missed your last post.  I'm so sorry about your car.  I know you were really looking forward to the golf tournament and I know how frustrated and ticked off you must be right now.  I'm sure the miserable heat isn't helping.  Hope the tow truck driver showed up quickly and it turns out to be something easy (and inexpensive) to fix.  This is, yet, another time I wished we lived in the same city.  I couldn't help you with the car stuff but I'd take you out to drown your sorrows in martinis or chocolate or whatever would make you feel better.  So sorry, Di....it just sucks!!!!!  (((hot sweaty hugs))) from AZ.

Golden- Sent you a PM! 

barbe1958

Diane, I can't FRIGGIN' BELIEVE it!!! Your CAR???? That's a lifeline these days to work, and groceries and going out....!!! I think Claire has the right idea about trading, but maybe doing his books or year-end or something that is measurable??? Please let us know you are okay. Will you call someone to pick you up to take you to the tournament? If not, DOUBLE CRAP!!!! You need a break real soon, sweetie. I used to say that to God sometimes, saying it was about friggin' time I got a break. Your time is NOW.

I did love hearing about your niece and her tenacity!! Good for her!! She has the guts to get the glory. I wish her all the best. Keep us posted on that as well.

Claire, did you get a DIEP? I can't remember...if so, yah, that walking around might have been a bit much, but well worth the hassle, as long as the incision is clear. Have you gotten it checked yet?

Kate, I wonder if they deny all first applications to make people give up. I know I had to fill in about 12 pages of questions and essay type answers and it was overwhelming for me. I can only imagine and old lady trying to do it for her husband or something (not you guys, you're younger than me, just thinking about the old people).

Golden, don't know if we've "met", but welcome. Anything goes here.....

Stanzie

Oh Diane!!!! I'm so sorry! I hope it isn't as bad as you think and hope someone gave you a ride to the tournament!!! I hope you didn't miss the tournament.

DiDel

Just checking in..thanks gor all the support and kind words. My friend I was playing with came to get me since the tournament was delayed due to rain. I was glad i went had lots of fun and I played pretty well considering I have not played in so long.

They didn't tow my car into the shop till 330!!! So i don't think anyone looked at it. I guess the bad news will come tomorrow. Tonight i have a headache and am just going to bed. I will figure things out tomorrow. My friend said i could borrow her second car until i decide what to do.



Thanks again! You ladies are the best

Diane

barbe1958

Thank God you have a Plan 'B' Diane...being crushed into a corner is NOT a good feeling! HAH!! You tricked the gods of bad luck!! hehehehehe

Anonymous

Diane- Glad you got to still make your tournament and ended up having fun.  Hope the car thing works out quickly, smoothly and inexpensively!

I am suffering from major cabin fever and it's only July 10th.  We're looking at at least 2 more months of this heat.  These are the days I say why the hell do I live here?  If my Mom wasn't in poor health nearby I seriously would think about moving.  Somewhere cool and wet- like Portland or Seattle!  Funny how back east a lot of people have issues with depression in the wintertime and for me it's the summer.  I can't seem to get motivated to do anything!  I've decided that I am going to start saving my pennies and next summer I am going to try to rent a place in the Northwest for at least a month in July.  Not sure if it's doable but at least something to strive for!   

Stanzie

Kate - I know the northwest is probably cooler but would love for you to come here!!!

cmbear

Kate'!! LOVE the new avatar!!!!

DiDel

Ok popping in quickly cause I am so tired and my mouth hurts...had braces tightens today

So I went to my nephews car dealership today and was able to get a NEW used CAR!! I test drove some new ones but they were just too big and didnt have much pick up..oh and the one had black cloth interior and I just invisioned Charlie's white fur all over the car driving me batty!! So My nephew suggested I check out the used cars and I saw this Mazda CRX I love love love.. fully loaded but only 20k miles and has leather seats...butt warmers...sunroof...ALARM and a nice stereo/sound system (which my nephew said was the best feature). I got a great price and interest rate. I cancelled my gym membership and giving up my reserved parking spot at the office since I am not there much and that will save me $300 a month so I feel better about things. SOOOOO MUCH BETTER

Thank you all for your friendship and support it means the world to me...you ladies keep me chugging through most days.

Love to all!!
Diane

barbe1958

Diane, that is SO FRIGGIN' GREAT!!!! Finally something good came out of all that crap!!! Congrats to you, sweetie, you deserve that great sound system.

 Yes, Kate, I love your new avatar too!! I really should update mine, my hair is more blonde now and is below my ears!! In my avatar, it's my natural dark brown and about 1 inch long.

Anonymous

Claire and barbe- Thank you!



Diane- I'm sooooooo happy for you! You deserve it! The new car sounds wonderful and more your style! Glad you'll have something more dependable, too. Maybe you should break it in? Girl's road trip!!!! Lol!

cmbear

Diane, I can see you now tooling around with the windows up and the AC blowing your hair and singing at the top of your lungs. And Charlie sticking his head out the window joining in the song. . . .

Stanzie

Oh Diane!!! YAY!!!! So very happy for you! No more break downs on the road just nice driving! Barb- yes please would love to see new picture! And Kate, yes gorgeous picture - that color is lovely on you!

hopefulhealing

Hi all have been out of town at my daughters to help with new baby.  LE can be triggered with trauma to the arm where nodes are removed. Stanzie I would say if swelling isn't down go to the doc.  You may have already done that. 

Kate I like your new picture!!!!!!!!  Maybe it is not new and I am just noticing?

Barbe glad you found a good bargin and like the new color. 

Diane glad you got through the storms.  They were brutal around me with high winds up to 90 miles an hour.  They were at 70 miles an hour in my town.

I am trying to constantly readjust my thinking.  Right now feel so mutilated.  I need to remind myself I am not done yet, that I am here and what is truly imnportant. Because I am disappointed with the results of the last surgery.  I can't change what is.  I need to realize that I am not going to be the old me ever.  Acceptance becomes a struggle when you are still going through recon after 2.5 years and not done for another 6-7 months! But I am here and I am loved.  That is the reality of what is important.

take gentle care ladies

Anonymous

hopeful- Congratulations again on the new baby!  I would love to have a little grandbaby to snuggle!  

Yes, the picture is new.  My sister was feeling down so we threw her a "tacky luau" party for her birthday complete with plastic leis and flowers for our hair.  lol!  This was taken during the party.  

Sorry you're disappointed with the results from the last surgery.  I know what you mean about needing to realize I'm never going to be the old me.  I still find myself researching thinking if only I had this doctor or that procedure things would be better.  Now I find myself looking at LE surgeries on top of everything else.  It can make you crazy!  Not sure, though, whether I'm ready to accept, wait until there are better options or try to fix something now.  So hard to know what to do but can definitely relate to your feelings. 

DiDel

Hi ladies!! Thanks all for the support. I needed it! I hate doing everything by myself and buying a new car is at the top of the list. Thankfully my nephew was soooooo helpful. I really feel like for once everything worked out smoothly. i think we are so used to it not that we cant imagine something will go off without a hitch.

Yes Kate...DITTO I love the new avatar too..your beautiful cheery smile!! love it!

Stanzie how is the shingles?? Are you feeling any better? Swelling going down. I hope so! At least there is some relief from the sweltering heat!

Hopeful I still think you should go to 2 other PS's to see what their opinion and approach would be. Someone out there can make you happy. If you'd like I can give you my PS's name and maybe you can send him your pics to analyze. He is the best and like i said so kind I am sure he wouldnt mind giving you some input. PM me if you are interested. I have a little bit of CC and was talking to my PS about it yesterday cause after playing golf it felt weird..(notice I called it IT) and he told me that its because I used muscles I havent used in a while. Also, he said that he wanted to do some fat grafting to minimize and correct the CC. So one last time under the knife and hopefully that will be the last of it. I think after playing golf my implant shifted cause now the cc looks worse and i have some rippling which i didnt have before. UGH. I just wish they would stay put!! My PS recommended a really supportive sports bra even for golf. He did tell me to massage and hopefully that will correct some of the cc...but its definitely getting worse.

So my friend had her lumpectomy and SNB today she sounded good afterwards when she called to tell me she was glad that was over with. but I have a questtion forthose of you who had your SNB separate from surgery (I had mine at same time as MX) when they sent samples to pathology how long did it take to get the results. My friend said the doctor sent hers to path and it would be a couple of days. But when I had mine they did the pathology right away to see if they needed to take more nodes??? I am confused. I am afraid that her nodes indicated cancer in the nodes and he didnt want to tell her today while she was a drugged up and loopy from surgery and that he sent them out to confirm pathology. any words of wisdown here?????

Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend. I am glad this week is over!!

Hugs to all!

Diane

wrsmith2x

Well, I was re-reading my path report recently and found something that I had missed previously. Just wondering how this could happen? Or if I have totally lost my mind. Come to find out I had 2 tumors on my breast for my recurrence. One, the one I knew about, was directly under the nipple and had invaded the dermis of the skin (3.2cm). But evidently I had a second one (1.5cm) deeper and on the pec muscle near the chest wall. So I asked my husband if he knew that I had two tumors and he said he "seemed to remember something about that". Well I don't remember ever being told about that.

So now I am freaked out again. How can you get clear margins if the tumor is sitting on the skeletal muscle? How will you ever know if you have gotten it all? I might have done chemo again if I had known that!

And having the same pain in that breast that I did before I was diagnosed the second time is really freaking me out.

I know, I know.....my odds of it coming back are either 0% or 100%....but I just wish someone had explained this to me before.

Just venting.....nothing I can do about it now, I guess. Sigh.....I hate cancer.

barbe1958

Diane, I've seen here far too often when women are told nodes are okay with a quick peek during surgery and then find out later, with proper dissection that they did have cancer in them! I would think it better to wait to find out after it is all done properly. I mean seriously, the cancer is so small and what if they didn't cut EXACTLY where that one cell was??? So to take longer is a good thing, in my opinion.

wrsmith, when is you next medical appointment? A good question to ask and find out about. The second tumour would have been taken with the breast....are you on hormonals at all? Or, did you get rads? 

ptdreamers

DiDel, I didn't get my pathology report back for a few days. Unfortunately the margins wern't clear and they had to re-excise but I think its normal to have it sent out and wait for a confirmation.