You know you're a cancer patient when....

survivor11

When your 5 yr old loudly explains to his new kindergardent teacher that "MOMMY HAS TISSUE EXPANDERS IN STILL."

When your up this late at night and it's because of Tamoxifen and not partying.

When you can shower faster than a man.

When you start to really believe that your cats understand what your going through because you have spent so much quality time together lately.

When Monday comes and your really sad that you can't go to work yet.

i2willsurvive

...your 2 year old now has to help you get dressed (my son had to help me because I got stuck in my shirt with the limited range of my arm shortly after surgery).

...you wonder how much your right breast weighed - you are not sure if you actually lost weight or it is just the result of your mastectomy.

...you spend your shower in the morning thinking of things to post here instead of a to-do-list for the day.

 ...you grab a towel and go straight to the computer from your shower so you don't forget anything that you thought of to post on BCO.  Oh, but it still didn't work - I know I had 5 things, but can only come up with 4 now.

tedwilliams

....when you lose your fake boob.  Still have not found that sucker.

tnbcRuth

i2- loved it!  Its been 8 hours and if you haven't remembered #5 yet, I would lay claim that there was only 4!  ha.  Ted-how can a foob get 'lost'?  

Anonymous

Ruth: When our foobs aren't attached, they're easy to lose! That's why I have five of them. (But I only wear one at a time

Thanks for the reassurance Leah.

YKYACP when you can build up a serious nausea just thinking about your upcoming chemo.

i2willsurvive

Remembered it

...When you hope to take a vacation day for something actually relaxing and not just to go to yet another dr visit, test, procedure, etc

survivor11

When you call up everyone you know and happily tell them you just had to shave your legs.

When the color pink begins to make you nauseous.

When you you find that the little everyday stressers in life don't bother you as much now.

When you find it a personal challenge to experience the last two SE of a drug, heck you've already had 10, might as well go for 12.

pejkug3

Ugh - the color pink...

My DH is trying to be sweet and plan an "end of treatment" party for me in the next couple weeks.  BTW, this is supposed to be a surprise and I DO NOT like surprises.  He wants pink balloons at the party.  Grrr...  I hate pink balloons.  lol

YKYACPW...it feels weird to be home for an entire week with no appts or labs to be drawn.

dutchgirl6

YKYACPW you get your second hair cut in 18 months, and the stylist goes a bit scissor happy, and when you look at the finished product you have flashbacks to being 3 months PFC .  But then you realize that it will grow back, it did before.

i2willsurvive

...when you are happy that you have an ingrown hair - at least your hair is growing!

kittycat

When your doctors tell you that you're the healthiest person they know, you just need to stay cancer free!!!! 

mebmarj

YKYACPW you hear the word neupogen and start to whimper...



YKYACPW the hot flashes you had are replaced with unrelenting chills, a it scares the crap out of you...



YKYACPW you warn people in advance(family and health care workers) about your gas,even my dogs hide...

Lena

YKYACPW when you're ECSTATIC that your hair is actually starting to GET IN THE WAY of a particular intimate activity that (pre-chemo when it REALLY was long) you used to automatically put it in a ponytail before doing it -- because that means it's FINALLY on its way to getting long again! :-D 

(I think that would probably make way more sense if I was more specific, but I think a lot of people would be screaming "TMI!" if I was... LOL) 

barbe1958

Pretty sure we figured out exactly what you were doing!!!

badger

yep  

ETA: YKYACPW you have grown to love the freedom of your post-chemo short hair.

J-Bug

YKYACPW when you think that tearing your wig off at a road raging driver might work better than flipping them off.

Although, I have not have the nerve to try this yet, I think of it often. : )

. 

Age 40. Tumor is over 8 cm. Started neoadjuvant therapy on July 1st with 4 AC dd / then 4 Taxol, then will be bilateral mastectomy, then radiation, then reconstruction.

kittycat

J-bug - I actually did that once. This lady was driving like an idiot on the freeway. She wouldn't let me on the freeway and was giving me hand gestures Once I got on, I sped up next to her, honked my horn to get her attention and ripped off my wig and pointed at my head. I don't know if it made her think or scared her! LOL! I laughed all day about it! It was one of my highlights when going through chemo. My DH and I still laugh about it!

Denise2730

OMG!  These are too funny. Thanks for starting this thread.

jackifp

Not a funny one, but still true...



YKYACPW you get a big hug from people who previously wouldn't given you the time of day, because "they heard..."



Arrrgh...



Also -



YKYACPW people ask if they can pet your fuzzy head...at least they ask, I guess...I actually find this one kinda cute, when it's someone I am fond of.

J-Bug

kittycat: After writing that at 1:20 yesterday, I had the PERFECT opportunity yesterday at 3:30! I still didn't do it. This lady was flooring it trying to merge into me just to get one more car ahead before her lane ended, but there was no one behind me as far as I could see. She was so angry that I was not letting her in, but there was no reason she needed to be pushing so hard to wedge into me and the car right in front of me. She was in my blind spot most of the time and I couldn't tell what she was trying to do over there until she gunned into my visual space and rolled down her window and started waving and flipping me off. I should have just pulled my scarf off and waved it back at her. : ) I am glad to hear someone had the nerve!

ellenquilt

J Bug, I LOVE the idea of flipping someone the chrome dome!  I just may have to do it!   Sounds like too much fun to NOT do LOL

AStorm

YKYACP when you remember the panic you felt every time you heard that someone was diagnosed but now you don't panic until you hear about the pathology. I now show my sympathy and support in a completely different state of mind!

kittycat

When you tell the anesthesiologist before your last surgery what pain meds and anti nausea meds work best for you.  "I'll take Dilaudid and an extra dose of Zofran!"  Must have worked because I wasn't nauseous! 

kittycat

When you kiddingly tell people that your mastectomy and hysterectomy is part of a greater plan to have a sex change!  LOL!!! 

micheleboots

Kitty, LOL.

Anonymous

When you and DH are going Together for scans.

Barb

survivor11

Kittycat, that's hilarious.

YKYACPW you feel a little pang of sadness when you pass the shampoo aisle at your grocery and don't have to go down it.

When your TE chest starts to look a whole lot like the top of your head, bald and shiny.

When you realize that alot of your closest friends are all sick, and not just in the head.

When you don't freak out or get annoyed at yet another 4 paged portfolio that you have to fill out for some insurance company, docter, hospital, etc. Been there done that a thousand times already.

When everymorning you get up and run to the bathroom mirror like a kid at xmas just to see if you can see if one or two more peach fuzz hairs showed up on your head overnight.

Kay_G

AStorm, had to tell you I love your tag line!

mom2twins34

When your onco walks in the room and you tell him he's got the wrong chart. 

And he says, a bit annoyed, "This IS your chart, we finally decided to thin it down to a couple of inches because it hasn't fit into the chart holders on the wall for months."

Thanks for all of the wonderful laughs, girls!  I often come back to this thread when I need a good pick me up!

ellenquilt

YKYACPW you answer the front door without a hat or wig and really don't care what the person on the other side thinks.  THEY rang YOUR bell.  They get what they get.