You know you're a cancer patient when....

Firni

Debbi, I don't think I've ever had to go outside to check my address.

Thanks for keeping my spirits up. 

Stanzie

I'm still having work done on my house and today they took out all the screens on the screened porch to pressure wash and they asked if it was alright to remove the doors as well, I said yes but I was worried about my little dog getting out if they removed the doors. They didn't say anything. So later my son comes home from school and the workmen are gone, he says can't Liesl (my little dog) get out where they removed the screens? I just looked at him totally confused then it hit me! I had searched and finally found a board which I carefully secured over the door so she couldn't get out. But!!! on either side of the door where the screens were is totally wide open!!!

kittycat

When your mind is awake but your body just wants to sleep!  Arghhhh....

kittycat

As you lose more eyebrows, you continue to take back brow pencils that don't work!  The one I had when I had brows worked great then, but somehow doesn't look all that great now.  Crazy is that the cheap one I got at the Look Good seminar seems to work better (but it's too dark for my blonde wig). 

When a bloody nose becomes a daily reality.  Thanks Taxol! 

Wouldn't it be funny if they advertised chemo on TV and listed the side effects???  I think they'd have to buy a 90 second spot (and that's just for the side effects)!  LOL!

AussieSheila

...........Y K Y A C P W.............

............you notice your right hand doing the 'wipe-ya-bum-tango' while your left hand still struggles to do the job 15yrs after your mastectomy left you with a grapefruit-sized lump under your right arm and that arm can no longer reach your 'behind.'

Sheila.

mumito

When you have just given your car keys to the mechanic and your mind goes blank when he asks you for your phone Number.

seaotter

StillVerticle - That was absolutely brilliant about writing your meds on your body!!!!!! but really if they found you washed up it may be too late for future meds!!!!!  I'm so happy for you that Earl has decided to pull his pants and calm down!!!! I can so relate to you and the hippy daze. I use to tell people I was a child of the seventies whenever I forgot things or did something stupid (happens a lot!) now I switched to telling them it's CHEMOBRAIN!

Patty

NativeMainer

You know you are a cancer patient when

your colleagues complain of brain farts or senior moments, and you smile to yourself because you can claim 'anesthesia brain' and don't have to admit to the mental effects of aging!  

you think back on the recovery from an 18 3/4 hour surgery as one of the easiest things you've been through in the last 3 years. 

you go looking for medical expenses to send in to the FSA for reimbursement because you set up the account to equal the out of network out of pocket amount and then insurance gives you in network benefits because the $250,000 procedure can't be done in your own state.  

preparing for hurricane force winds and a several day power outage is just a few more things to add to the "to do" list for the day.  

you hope for a power outage so your phone won't work so you can't get the call with the appointment for your first colonoscopy because you simply do not want to have any more needle sticks this year!

Stanzie

Oh I'm so with you on the Colonoscopy. I have the forms to fill out and still haven't opened the enevelope.

Love not having to admit ageing !!!!Perfect.

AStorm

... you've had surgery so many times you finally know what is important... not cleaning the house, getting your affairs in order, or extended absence greetings. This time you spend the day before surgery combing your daughter's hair while you talk to her about her day, giving your old dog a warm bubble bath, the puppy a long walk, and renewing your cats' veterinary insurance.

LadyinBama

NativeMariner and Stanzie: You have my sympathies. I had a colonoscopy a week ago. I wanted to get it done before start of chemo, which was Tues. I have family history of colon cancer, so it was one more thing we needed to rule out. It was my 3rd (lucky me). The procedure itself is a piece of cake. It's the prep that is awful. Good luck.

KittyDog

when you have chemo brain.............................  I saw my Dr. this week and she put me on a liquid cough syrup.  I was to stop my zyrtec because the cough syrup had some antihistamine in it.  So I took the zyrtec out of my pill box.   Well two days later I quit the liquid and I thought I had been taking my zyrtec.....nope I was taking xanax instead.  Same shape and size as the zyrtec.  No wonder I felt so bad.  lol 

seaotter

...when the hair on your head comes in curly after chemo but the hair down there  comes in straight! WTH !!!!!!!!

Patty

badger

LOL Patty did you catch the suggestion a few pages ago for volumizing shampoo

...when you're glad to have hair down there again so you can pee downward again instead of sideways (OMG I was so happy to know it wasn't just me!)

mumito

ROTFLMAO

seaotter

I just wanted curly back not necessarily volumizing, lol!

badger

LOL!  They probably don't make Toni home perms anymore but the rollers wouldn't be small enough anyway!   

chrishat

i love this thread, i love all of you!

Firni

Too too funny!!!!!  There is a new invention waiting to happen.  Teeny tiny perm rollers for the hair down there.  Remember the chemo bag we were all told to pack when we started chemo?  There should be a post chemo bag gifted to us when we're done.  It would include hair vitamins, hair straightener, down there perm and rods, hair color, brow stencils and lash growth stuff and finally a coupon for a free face lift with the PS of your choice.  Did I forget anything?

Firni

You know your a cancer patient when you give the dog your hair vitamin and take her liver flavored aspirin.  Never keep the dog meds close to yours.  Especially if the bottles are similar.  

DesignerMom

you know you are a cancer patient when you are just back from chemo #5 and have to immediately check this thread to get a good laugh.  You ladies are the best! Still LOL!

badger

...when you get the survivor's goodie bag with your Komen RFC t-shirt and one of your friends is halfway envious until she realizes what needs to happen to "earn" those extras.

Firni, I think your post-chemo goodie bag is a good one. It made me think of the RFC goodie bag, a true story. This year's included a scarf adorned with the logo of a major American car company, a packet of jelly beans, a bottle of flavored health water, and an insulated lunch bag from a green grocery store. There may be sponsorship opportunities! Unfortunately, we're a huge market.

marlegal

littletower - i;m still laughing about the UTI not being caused by sex!!!!!   i have to go back and read other posts since then and will comment more later :O)

CoolBreeze

OMG. I thought I was the only one with curly drapes that don't match the flat rug.  LOL. 

marlegal

jenn3 - about soap smell - when I got for onc or surgeon appt and wash my hands - it takes me instantly back to infusion room .. .forgot all about that

marlegal

kitty- about tv ads for chemo - hub and i howl at listed se's for some drugs on tv ... can you just see hte chemo one???  oh man - they really should do that - at least let chemo patients have some fun laughing too!!!!

marlegal

okay, and my contrib for today ...

... when you feel more cause to celebrate your cancerversary than your anniversary 

(hey, this was year #5 ... I know it's not what it used to be, but it still felt damned good!)

badger

congratulations Mary!!!

DesignerMom

marlegal-I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks drug ads with their enormous list of SE are absurd.  DH, my 11 YO and I put the mute on so we can read the SE, then we all rattle them off as quickly as they do.  It gets faster and faster and funnier too.  We all end up laughing.  Try it with someone, it's a blast.

littletower

....when your mantra during exercise changes from "Building a better ass, building a better ass..." to "Kicking Cancers Ass, kicking cancers ass..."