You know you're a cancer patient when....

NativeMainer

LOL!  

YKYACPW:  you don't notice the big wet spot on your foob or that your pants/skirt is falling off 'cuz you don't have feeling there after recon surgery. 

Q324

Thanks for the giggles. I needed that today. 

shycat

You know you're a cancer patient when...

- the oncologist you just met reviews your list of chronic conditions -- the ones that are of such great concern to your GP -- and declares you "relatively healthy". 

- your radiation simulation is delayed two days to "tweak the treatment plan" and your mind races, "WHAT tweaking?!  WHY tweaking?!!  HOW tweaking?!  What's wrong NOW?!"

- you try to remind yourself daily of the famous British WW2 slogan "Stay Calm and Carry On".

 

FairyDogMother

When you are 37 and get this in the mail because the 5 year pill is making you walk with a cane. 

Juliecc

When you buy sleeveless dresses, tank tops, and shirts based on whether your drain scars show or not.

When a cup of coffee and blow drying your hair always bring on a heat stroke.

When you turn on the air conditioner every morning to get ready for work because it's just too hard to apply your makeup when you're sweating.

Anonymous

Julie, SO TRUE.  I have a little fan that goes on when I'm trying to put makeup on before work and I break out in a sweat !!  I am more worried about people seeing my port scar than anything else.  I told my surgeon to take extra time taking the port out and to try and make the incision 'disappear'.  ha 

rettemich

Juliecc, I never thought of that, what a brilliant idea. 

When you have to tie your sports bra so it doesn't rub on the irradiated tender skin.

You can only shave half your armpit because the other half is too tender from the rads.

dutchgirl6

YKYACP when Words With Friends rejects "foob" and you know it's a real word!

fujiimama

YKYACPW you rent the scooter at the amusement park and purposefully wear a survivor shirt. Nobody gives you grief.

GeorgiaRai

YKYACPW you keep hearing a funny noise at your desk then realize it's the foam foobs you wore today (instead of the usual silicones).  I'm going to blame the squeaking on my shoes.

Anonymous

You know you're a cancer patient when you:  1) only have to put anti-perspirant on one armpit because the surgery side never sweats with nodes gone. 2) put coverup makeup on the tattoo markers from rads so you can wear a low-cut top or swimtop.  3) Your daughter or son tells you not to see a movie about a cancer patient because it is too sad.     

barsco1963

lol @ GeorgiaRai! Blame it on the shoes indeed! hahaha

Rockym

not only do you not have to wear anti-perspirant on that particular underarm... you almost never have to shave there either!  3 years out and barely a hair!

auroaya200882

shelly and rockym, same here 4 years since chemo and bmx and still no sweat and no hair on armpit in surgery side! lol

Spookiesmom

Had bmx. No sweat on non cancer side either. Weird!!!!

barbe1958

Too funny!! I use deodorant automatically and never thought to check to see if I even sweat there any more!! (double mast). I used to sweat below my bra line and thought that would be gone, but strangely enough I do still sweat there as if I still had my heavy breasts laying there.

GraceB1

YKYACP when you look forward to your first haircut in a year because your hair is finally starting to grow more than an inch 8 months after chemo ended.

Spookiesmom

Barbe, I'm in Fl, it's hot and yucky now. I've checked many times, I'm not wet. No hair either side too. 

GeorgiaRai

Same here - no sweaty underarms.  But...ever since chemo (over 2 years ago) I break out in head sweat when I have a hot flash.  Just another way IKIACP.

P.S.  Just wanted to say hi to you all.  I'm new posting to this thread, but I've been a reader for a while - so many funny, quick-witted posters here!

NativeMainer

YKYACPW:  you have a migraine that would have put in in bed for a day before bc treatment and you are only an hour late for work after bc treatment 'cuz the migraine is a walk in the park compared to surgery, rads, infections, more surgery, more infections, mastectomy, recon. . .

feelingfeline

Hi GeorgiaRai! Welcome. I am in the single no-sweat armpit club (probably because I am a uni). However the tamoxifen etc help the other armpit to do double duty 

GeorgiaRai

Thanks for the welcome, feelingfeline!

YKYACPW so many things are shorter than they used to be:  hair...fingernails...attention span. 

I think it's the Effexor but my nails are horrible now, after making it through chemo relatively unscathed.  Before they even get past the nail bed, they are flaking and splitting.  When I go for mani/pedi, I have them cut as short as possible but still get them polished in bright/dark colors, as an act of defiance! 

~Rachel

barsco1963

GeorgiaRai - I find my nails are much more softer than before. There is also ridges all across them that weren't there before.

Not having had chemo and no other tx other than tamo and ooph, I blame it on the lack of estrogen.

tangandchris

When you are excited to shave your legs because it means your hair is growing back......

Juliecc

When you absolutely have  no modesty left!

Today I had my exchange surgery.  The PS made a bunch of markings on my chest.  When my boyfriend came back in, I pulled my gown down and loudly said to him, "Take a picture!" Well apparently I flashed everyone at the nurses station. My PS said, "Waaaait! Let me pull the curtain closed!"  I was in a goofy mood and didn't care :-)

Spookiesmom

bump

Ariom

When I was having my tracer done for SNB a few hours before my Mx, the tracer wasn't moving so I had to massage it through. The tech took me to a little room where I sat up on a bed flicking through  a magazine, massaging my right breast pretty vigorously with my left hand. I looked up and realized the outer door was open and I was in full view of the busy radiology waiting room!

fujiimama

YKYACPW you bring a pack of 36 colors of sharpies to your DIEP marking. My P.S. drew a cute little flower in the zone. She said everyone in the operating room thought it was hilarious. 

Annette_U

Okay!

You're asked by friends, co-workers, people on the street……. "Did they get it all??"

Spookiesmom

and you answere, hope so!