You know you're a cancer patient when....

pejkug3

Oh dear, Windlass.  <*smile*>  What can you say, huh?

badger

YKYACPW to you, "reconstruction" is a period of time following surgery, not the Civil War.

{{windlass}}

momoftwo526

Badger:

I so love that one!

Phyllis

StillKicking

Good one Badger!

bcisnofun

YKYACPW you make dinner for friends and don't have to worry that anyone will find a hair in their food

pupmom

You can give your nail tech a 5 minute 101 course in bc and she gets it!

Anonymous

You're speeding and get pulled over. When the cop asks where you're going in such a hurry, you answer that you're on your way to a chemotherapy infusion (which is true). He asks, "Are you late?" and you truthfully answer,"No, just stressed and scared." He runs your license and lets you off with just a warning. And gives you a warm smile as he hands back your license and says "Good luck."

(This actually happened to me. I wonder if he knows someone who has been through this.)

Lena

YKYACPW when your nurse sends you emails  asking you to take 5 mgs of morphine prior to her visits.

YKYAPCW when you and your BF make pregnant jokes when the ascites reaches a particular stage.

YKYACPW you decide to finally cut the pollyanna pinksters a little slack because they probably have chemo brain as bad as yours.

YKYACPW you absolutely have to line up your medications on the coffee table and show the nurse how you do your "weekly load up" so she can help you reorganize your "medicine storage and dispensary system."

YKYACPW you can't make friends because the only people you hit it off with are medical caregivers and it's not professional for them to have personal relationships with their patients. (I'm talking about a same sex platonic friendship here. I wish my hospice nurse didn't have to be my nurse -- I'd so much rather have her as a buddy -- she's my equal in truth and "bluntness," she has a major geek element to her lovely psycho sense of humor, and she lives five minutes away from me! Oh and she loves Star Trek and thinks my rat collection is mega-cool. 

YKYACPW the descriptor "too skinny" actually applies to you!

YKYACPW you realize you actually LIKE the taste of Boost and Ensure!

YKYACPW you like the grey hairs, because it's finally starting to get long enough.

YKYACPW when mets isn't a new york baseball team.

Anonymous

Oh, Lena! *sending hugs*

weesa

Bump--(just hate to see this truly epic thread start to sink down on the second page )

mebmarj

YKYACPW some words just have alternate meanings and you use them without even batting an eyelash, cause you don't have any or just don't give a crap what other people think anymore. For instance, I went topless yesterday in public for the first time in months! Either way, you may just have smiled and that was my intent. But seriously, I was ready in case someone said something about how fashionable my hair was. I'm totally rockin the 8 wk post chemo growth, but was ready to respond that it wasn't a fashion statement.

SharonMH

YKYACPW  you try using the flat iron to tame your chemo curls and you burn your head because your hair is only a inch long.  SharonH

beccad

YKYACP when you let nearly everyone who comments on your"cute,daring hairstyle" know that this isn't a fashion statement. I am so ready to have my "old" hair back.

badger

YKYACPW you're 18 mos PFC and losing the chemo curl in your hair and kind of miss it...

Might just have to go for a body wave! 

dutchgirl6

badger, I can so relate to that.  I am in desperate need of a haircut (this will be #3,15 months PFC) but I am dragging my heels because I know that whatever is left of the curl will probably end up on the floor, never to return. Sigh.

Anonymous

What's PFC? First time I saw that acronym - and I thought I knew them all!

o2bhealthy

PFC  = Post Fricken Chemo

Rockym

You know you're a cancer patient when....

You start eating everything in sight and realize it's because you are starting to get some of your taste buds back!

inLA

YKYACPW people feel inclined to tell you about anyone they have ever known to have dealt with any form of cancer

badger

windlass, I know PFC as post final chemo but o2b yours works too. 

undercoverebel

YKYACPW a cancer commercial comes on the tv and everyone in the room freezes like deer caught in headlights and slowly turn to look at you. As if you've forgotten you had cancer until that darn commercial came on.

micheleboots

undercover, I know...awkward..

barbe1958

Yep, just like when a tampon commercial came on and you were 'almost' making out with your boyfriend on the couch....

undercoverebel

Hahaha,BARBE-Luckily that never happened. MICHELE-It's only awkward for my family,I actually laugh when they do that.

lauri

Bump -- everybody needs a good laugh.

mom2twins34

YKYACPW you tag along with your husband while he gets his haircut & decide you are ready for your first PFC cut, so you ask them to 'fix' your hair, too.  

And you walk out of Supercuts with matching hair...  And it looks much better on him!!!  

Anonymous

YKYACPW you have to use both hands on both stair rails to get down the stairs.

badger

YKYACP when your hairstylist takes the clippers to your sideburns and beard.

(OMG I grew a post-chemo faceful of downy peach fuzz; TG for those clippers!)

dlb823

Bumping for Blayze...

Elizabeth1959

Windlass

I thought I was the only one who has to use both hands on steps.