Did you ever notice??

Ca1Ripken

Ruthy, I never took BC pills... I never really took any pills before cancer... didn't like to put them in my body... only vitamins, really.  Ah, well!!  But, like the lung cancer, smoker v. non-smoker... I HATE that everyone's 1st question to me after learning of diagnosis is "any family history?"  Yep, my mom had DCIS when she was 54 (9 years ago) - so, I say "yes," and they go "oh, yeah."  What??  I think it makes other people feel better to be able to associate cancer with something you did, or something you were destined for.  You know?  They don't want to think that it occurs randomly very often, because then they would be at risk. 

bambers88

Having a family history is one of the few proven risk factors. I doubt people are asking  because they want to be able to associate your having cancer with something you did. It's just one of the only explanations that we have for sure to the 'why me?' question and perhaps in a way gives others some sense of reason for it happening. Women with family history should, obviously, in my opinion, be proactive to the disease in whatever ways they can to catch it EARLY. 

kimber3006

I totally agree, Leanna, that people want to see an association in your life that they don't have in theirs.  I can remember joking with a friend once, when she was scheduling her mammogram, that BC was probably the only life-threatening disease I didn't have to worry about, since I had a family history of everything BUT that.  No one wants it to be as random, as unpreventable and unpredictable as it truly is.

Ca1Ripken

I started annual mammograms at age 34, the year after I found out about my mom's DCIS.  All my mammos have been clear.  I felt this 'hardening' in March... and my "diagnostic mammogram" after looking for this mass, was clear...Unbelieveable, but true.  The protocol was then for an US because it was a palpable mass... that was more suspicious, and, of course, biopsy +.  I did everything I could to catch this early.. and still was diagnosed Stage 3. 

Shrek4

I get the same thing. During the years, I was sometimes the target of jokes from co-workers because of my diet, and one of them once told me that I eat "disgustingly healthy". Now when people say "how could you have gotten breast cancer with such a healthy diet" I reply "ya know, I don't eat with my boobs".

YoYo44

Hi All,

I get the urge to "why me" occasionally but I force myself out. I have always been very healthy and made healthy choices.  Maybe a little over weight but generally very healthy. I think it is a crap shoot too.

I have no family history of BC but in my new "youthened" state ( at 44 was starting to feel middle aged but all the docs kept saying "you're so young to have BC"-the silver lining, I'm young again?) the doctors wondered if there could be something genetic-unlikely.  So I was tested for a different genetic marker for Finish people.  No big surprise, it came back negative.  His comment to me "I am surprised with all the females in your family that the bc incidence is so low, there should be more BC."  So I am the lottery winner!

So back to, it's a crap shoot.

But I am still blessed to have my life and my family and friends and to be living where I am with access to medicine and food and water and housing.

Have a great day ladies!

Ca1Ripken

I won the lottery too; now, if I could just win THE lottery!!!! 

Pure

I think after you diagnosed your go through periods until you get to the point of acceptance. i remember teling my husband "I will never except this! I refuse to accept this!" And he would say (he is a colon cancer sur) that you will one day accept this. And he was right I accept that I had this disease. Prior to reaching this stage I went through my own stage of anger, etc and one of those stages was anger at how healthy I was and here are my neighbors who party like manics and have the perfect life get nothing. I didn't get it...I am not there anymore. now I feel feel we have 100 things to be sad about but about 1000 things to be thankful for!

JFV

Thanks for sharing all your thoughts and feelings.  I really needed to read through this thread.

I am the youngest with 4 sisters.  I am the only one with BC.  One grandmother died of ovarian cancer when she was 80 years old.  My diet and weight aren't the best.  But, generally I lead a "clean life".  After I got BC alot of women I know went out and got a mammogram because I seemed like the last person to get it. 

I think the Why Me stuff for me, is a desire for control.  If I can figure out why I got it I can stop it from reoccurring.  That is, of course, an illusion.

Also, Why Me is why there is religion, and faith, and lack of faith. 

I have hopes of getting beyond feeling ill and frightened and really enjoy the "full catastrophe" of living without regrets.