Did you ever notice??

skigrl

How many of you lived a healthy lifestyle, ate great, stayed active, didnt drink heavily, smoke, or do drugs...then BAM! You have cancer!!! In a nutshell that was me.Everyone was shocked when they found out i got cancer.  Now i look around and see people who drink, do drugs, smoke, eat sh*tty, dont exercise , are overweight and dont have cancer. My 82 year old neighbor smokes 3 packs a day since she was 17 yrs. old, and she say's to me "all that healthy living, i dont get it..look at me  i smoke 3 packs a day and i am fine and i wouldnt do anything different". Well maybe i should have smoked , drank, partied my arse off and aet whatever i want. Maybe doing those things KEEPS cancer AWAY!!!!  hmm, makes me wonder.

sbmolee

Ditto for me.  When I called my daughter to tell her, she said "Mom, how can that be?  You are the healthiest person I know!"  I ate very healthy, exercised, limited drinking, never smoked, no family history and BAM...first in my family ever to get breast cancer.  Now I find it almost irritatating when I hear all the cautionary statement such as "exercise to reduce risk of cancer", "avoid specific foods or eat specific foods to reduce cancer risk"  I did all the right things and still got cancer!  Now I still am pretty healty but easier and kinder to myself and cut loose and drink a few too many or have that bowl of ice cream!  Life is too short to be too restrictive. 

kimber3006

Yeah, me too.  I got lots of the "but you take better care of yourself than any of us!" kind of comments.  I still eat right and exercise because I feel better when I do.  Plus, cancer aside, I still have to take good care of my heart.  Personally, I think cancer is all in the genes (most of which researchers know nothing about yet) - maybe from so far back we didn't know it was there.

pip57

Its all in the genes. Perhaps you would have had cancer a lot earlier if you hadn't had a healthy lifestyle.

jenn3

I can't say I was in perfect shape, but I did make sure to eat a lot of the right foods, walk regularly, didn't smoke or drink (except on vacation and Christmas Eve).  I was also the first in my family for as far back as memories can go to have any type of cancer.   I don't get mad at people not taking care of themselves because I don't think thats was causes cancer.  I think it's a crap shoot, you're either going to get it or you're not.

ktn

I am a nurse and would be eating my healthy lunch while others around me ate burgers and fries. I was normal weight when many were overweight and never exercised. I rarely ever got sick or used any sick time at work.  When I was diagnosed my coworkers were shocked....one told me it was because I was so unlikely to get cancer that they all realized it could happen to anyone. I did well through treatment and hope that my body keeps working well for me!

caaclark

Same here on the healthy lifestyle.  My twin sister was never all that healthy as far as eating habits, weight, etc.  My older sister is also not all that healthy.  No cancer for them but cancer for me.  Oh, and I am way more upbeat and positive than they are so I know it's not the attitude.

Ca1Ripken

Exactly!  When my friends ask how it was found and I tell them that I felt a thickening in my breast, I can almost hear their thoughts of "I need to schedule a mammogram" because it really can happen to anyone!  ktn, Im a nurse also... and every once in a while, my evil little mind sees a 350 pound patient with HTN, asthma... smoking... and thinks, really, me???  Argghhh! 

Hoolianama0508

I thought I as healthy but I seem to attract cancer  

I was a 17-year-old soccer player one minute and the next minute I was diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma. That was in 1987. I still continued a healthy lifesytle of no smoking, drinking or drugs. Fast forward 22 years and 2 children later, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer when my son was just 6 months old. 

I look at people who complain of various problems, weight, smoking, etc. and I think to myself, at least your body is not attacking you. When you have excellent health (meaning no cancer) you have the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. 

I am getting closer to my pot every day. 

Ca1Ripken

Hoolianama - you have had your share and that sucks.  We are about the same age... similar diagnosis (except triple neg, for my triple pos).  My youngest is 3.  Sending prayers and ((HUGS)) to you!  We'll get our gold! 

clariceak

Has anyone else noticed how many  of the nicest people get cancer?  Even before I was dxed, it seemed out of proportion - the most wonderful giving women were getting cancer. 

Claire_in_Seattle

The problem is that "less likely" doesn't mean the same thing as "won't get it".  And there isn't any lifestyle link as strong as obesity and Type II diabetes.

My risk factors were not having had children and liking wine.  So yes, I did drink.  But no drugs, was/am an athlete, a bit overweight but that is gone now, and tons of fruits and veggies.  I did not do HRT or even the pill.  My heart function was stellar going in.

I look at it as "having won the lottery".

The good news is that all of us who are healthy otherwise can withstand the treatment.  I have looked at chemo + radiation as a seven-month endurance event.

Other than keeping my weight at about 25 BMI, I don't think I will be changing my life all that much going forward.  I am cognizant of the fact that exercising is critical.  Less wine too, but not eliminating.  I may need to adjust my diet a bit, but more around weight maintenance than nutrition.  It is odd to have to take Arimidex for the next 5 years as never have had to take any meds long term.  Aspirin for the rest of my life, but did that pretty regularly before as usually have some sports injury.  Adding in Vitamin D and possibly some other supplements.

Fortunately all these things help forestall heart disease and the diabetes that killed my father.  My mother died of lung cancer, and I was so grossed out by cigarettes (even minimal smoking) as a child that I was never in the least tempted.

There is another whole factor in staying healthy.  That is, you get to do fun stuff.  I cycle, ski, hike, swim.....and think nothing of trying something new.  This was evident about 4 years ago.  I was talking to my BIL who is my age describing how I had just done a metric century cycling event (62 miles).  He was down for the count with gout.

That spoke volumes.

stphns_m

I try not judge but I now feel exactly that way when I see other's abusing their bodies and not having anything healthwise to deal with (not yet anyway!).

I don't have any reason to have breast cancer (other than being unfortunate) I have no family history, I haven't smoked, drank, I've breast fed, had children early, no pill/hrt, ate healthy, exercised, been happy etc. I keep getting told it is related to stress and how your immune system is working.  Apparently everyone, everyday have cells go wrong and the healthy immune system knocks them out, but for some reason??? my wrong cells got missed and grew into cancer, so that's my take on it, whether you are healthy or not. It could be a virus, pestisides, or who knows?? it is a bit of a lottery, survellience of our bodies and knowing how they are functioning at different stages of your life is what they should be teaching as a preventative for these illnesses, rather than using risk factors which leave a lot of us "healthy" ones wondering what more could we have done.

I sometimes wonder if "nice people" experience these trials to help them recognise that they need to be saying "no" more often and having other's looking out for them more often. It sounds harsh but perhaps it is okay to be a bit more selfserving and do what we really want and not what we think is expected of us. That's my thoughts on it all anyway.

Summer38

I'm going to go with Clariceak and say I got breast cancer because I'm a "nice person"! LOL

bejuce

Yeah, I agree with the "nice person" statement too - heard that from my babysitter who said "it happens to the nicest people I know!"

Seriously, I went through a lot of this "why me? And not so and so who's unhealthier than me?"  phase, but after having lots of inner conversations with myself and a couple of visits to a therapist who convinced me that it's random, that it can happen to anyone, and that life is not fair and the more we accept it the more we're able to handle the bad things that are thrown our way, I try not to think so much in those terms. 

I used to get really mad and angry just seeing smokers and obese people not  have any cancer or other apparent health problems, but now it doesn't bother me at all.  I also used to feel very guilty, thinking that I got it because of the long exposure I had to birth control pills, or  the extra 30 lbs that I still have due to my 3 pregnancies,  the wine tasting I did in Napa Valley (I live in the Bay Area),  the daily can of diet coke to keep me alert in the afternoon, or because of all the breastfeeding I did (I know, should protect us, right?) - the therapist cured me of any guilt I used to feel.  Funny how this cancer journey truly makes us stronger and appreciate life in a different way. 

Look at all of us here, strong, healthy women dealing with stage 3 breast cancer.  My oncologist, also another strong, healthy woman, was battling stage 3 melanoma last year while still taking care of her patients.  On Tuesday when I went in to get my Herceptin infusion, I noticed lots of young, athletic/fit types in the waiting room with all sorts of cancers.  Nobody knows what causes it, and the best that we can do is move forward...

 

Ca1Ripken

I hope I can get to that level of acceptance soon!  I know, I will.. these are all stages, and I just am not there yet.  When I went in for my CT... you know you have to drink 2 or 3 glases of the contrast... well, it was not yummy, but not bad, so I drank it dutifully, because Lord knows I wanted them medically to be able to get the best results possible so we know what's going on... and there was a woman in there... they came to get her for her test, and she has not drank but about an ounce of hers.  She said she didn't like it.  I cannot tell you why, but I was so angry (I think that is the right word) with her for not being able to do it, because it was for her own good - so they could see what they needed to in her body, and she just didn't want to.  She was right next to me, and she didn't say it made her nauseaous or sick.. she said she just didn't like it.  Ugh.  I would do anything to be compliant with medical treatment and just find myself frustrated with the non-compliance.  I know I am venting... and I am sooo sorry for judging... so sorry, I just needed to get it out!  On the flip side, I have found an entire new level of compassion for patients suffering SE that we can't see, and feel like I actually DO know what to say to other people when I hear bad things.  And, when people say silly things to me.. I thank them and am very nice, and then come here and write about it or vent to DH. 

((HUGS)) 

gillyone

Claire in Seattle "BIL down for the count with gout, that spoke volumes"? What do you mean? Did you know gout is a form of arthritis? Sorry if I am misunderstanding your point.

KerryMac

I think it is a crap shoot too. Random bad stuff just happens.

And I try to remind myself that there are all sorts of other random bad things that could have happened, that happen to other people every day, that would have been worse.

karen1956

My risk factor was that I was female!!!  A friend said the only way to get rid of BC is to get rid of boobs!!!  I too did "all the right things"....I think many of the things most of us did...we didn't do to prevent BC, but did to make us feel good...eating healthy, keeping a healthy weight, exercising, breastfeeding our babies, etc....I did that for me, for me because it was what I wanted and made/makes me feel good.....I will continue to do things that make me feel good, include enjoying my red wine when I am in the mood...eating junk food if/when I so desire...eating red meat...but I still love my fruits and veggies and feel better physically when I eat right.....Of course bad things happen to good people...life isn't fair....and that doesn't make us feel any less hurt, angry....or whatever....and it is hard staying positive all the time...but we do get there (eventually!!!)....

SpunkyGirl

KerryMac's words ring so true to me!  When I was going through chemo, I met a 31 yr old mom (4 yr old daughter), who was going through colon cancer treatment.  Her family lived in her mom's basement!  The other thing I often think about are the millions of people on this planet who are born and live their whole life in deplorable poverty without an opportunity to advance.  Why them?

SpunkyGirl

OK, there are billions of people that live like that, and I have a comfortable home and can support my family......to me, I'm blessed beyond measure....

KerryMac

And isn't it funny that we only say "why me" about the bad stuff.....

kimber3006

Yeah, I think about the worse stuff, too, and know that I am blessed.  You know, Kerry, before this I did actually say "why me" about the good stuff in a way.  Sometimes I felt like I was holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I loved my life so much, I was afraid it was too good to be true and something awful would happen to make me lose it.  Well, something awful did happen, but so far, I'm still here in the middle of this life I love, and pray I get to continue to be for a very long time.

All that said, it would still be nice if only evil people got potentially fatal diseases, wouldn't it? 

KerryMac

Hey kimber, great photo! You look wonderful.

AsiaYM

I am glad to say that I am still here, don't want to figure out why I got cancer any more, there is no good answer.  Try to live and enjoy life now.  Just got through taking care two small grandkids staying with us for 3 weeks,  they are so precious but I was so happy when we returned them back to their parents.  Ha!Ha!

kimber3006

Thanks, Kerry!

bambers88

The opportunity for children never happened for me, so obviously I never breast fed, I took birth control pills and the depo shot for many many years, I smoked, I drank, I did drugs, I didn't exercise, I'm overweight, but I am a nice person though. And I got BC just like all of you who didn't do those things. Does that make it fair?  

sespebadger

Good point, bambers88. Breast cancer is not a punishment for bad behavior, it's just a horrible disease. And it is not more fair that you got it because you smoked, drank, etc. I bet everyone wonders if their past behaviors had anything to do with getting cancer. But, we can't go back, we can only go forward......and hopefully, we'll all get through it.

Ruthy81674

I used to drive myself nuts wondering how I came down with this mess. I always took good care of myself and had no history of cancer in my family. My parents and relatives made it into their 80s. However I took birth control pills off and on x 10 yrs. It seems everyone I know who was dx in their 40s or early 50s has a history of birth control pills. Certainly other things also cause this but I would give anything to go back and never take the pill!. I always felt they were safe but not anymore. I have told my daughter not to ever take them.

CoolBreeze

Threads like these, where we are in some way looking to blame ourselves (or out of blame) for getting cancer, sadden me.  It is entirely, as somebody said, a crapshoot. The fact is, nobody knows why anybody gets breast cancer or any other kind of cancer.  Even lung cancer - not everybody who gets it was a smoker.  I have met a lot of lung cancer patients now and it's sad because  they have to introduce themselves as having "non-smoking lung cancer" as if there was such a thing.

I was the kid who wouldn't eat lunchmeat becauss it had nitrites in it = nitrites caused cancer. My mother thought I was crazy for trying to eat healthy - she was a 50s era cook, everything was campbells soup and packaged.  I ate healthy, my sister and brother didn't - who got cancer?

I had a period in my early 20s when I partied hard, like many did back in the 70s.  Did that give me cancer? I'm opinionated and assertive - in woman's world, I'm not always considered "nice." And, here I am.  

 I refuse to blame myself.  All those people I was partying with, not all who stopped, they didn't get cancer.  I drank a lot of martinis back then but there are people who have been using herion for years - they don't get cancer.  (they don't get good lives either.)

Someday maybe we'll know why it happens.  But, when that day comes, I bet it's a complicated reason, involving the interplay of certain biomarkers we have that others don't and how they interplay with environmental factors, many of which will be out of our control.  It won't be as simple as the news stories make it out to be, or as preventable either.

I am not looking for reasons why I got cancer and somebody else didn't.  I don't think there are any there. 

jenn3

I said it pretty early in the thread - I think it's a crapshoot, we either get it or we don't.  I know that "they" say being healthier will stop you from getting cancer, but I see too many women on these boards and at the center that are healthy and have had breast cancer or other cancers.  If we look hard enough and really try to find blame I'm sure we can come up with something we did in our lives that we shouldn't have done, smoke, drank too much, ate the wrong foods, drank water from a plastic bottle, ate from a styrofoam plate, x-rays, wore makeup with chemicals, ate food with blackend mess from the bbq pit, bathed in chemical laden water or soap, breathed in gas fumes...........

I know it doesn't seem fair and at times the "why me" takes over, but it is what it is and the best we can do is fight it with all we have, live good lives and love each other.