Calling all TNs

mags20487

Titan...we are cheering you to the 5 yr mark....YOU GO GIRL!

clyde...we all feel that way in the beginning....our mind wanders to dark places. In time we go to those places alot less and then realize that we can beat this monster! We are all here to support you in any way that you need so ask anything

Maggie

candi07

I can relate to the fear of thinking you're going to die when first diagnosed. I was so scared not only for myself but my kids. My kids lost their father about 2 years ago and immediately I thought OMG if I die they will have no parents. But thankfully, shortly after I was diagnosed I went into survival mode. Yes we have lost some great women to this horrible disease, but I believe the survival rate is increasing.

tumornamedclyde

Such encouragement from each of you. I affectionately named my tumor Clyde, no specific reason why, the name just fit. I am very OCD and have researched TNBC so much that my dear husband has threatened to turn the WI FI off, lol. I have known 4 women since 2005 that have passed on from BC, but do not know their history. One was my sons elementary school principal, then her replacement passed on a year later, so he has been dealing with this with such a fear that it tears me up to c him struggle with all these emotions. He is 13, and my daughter is 22. I did the BCRA testing but results not back yet. I seeing MO Friday and saw surgeon yesterday. Bilateral double mastectomy planned, but am leaning towards chemo first. It seems as tho that is the trend now. Still scared, still convinced death is imminent, and feel so lost. My family is very supportive but clueless to the severity of TNBC. Can't really talk about it without crying when I try to talk to them...

jcolford

Clyde, I know exactly what you mean. I too researched TNBC to death (pun intended). I was fortunate to have a cousin who is a doctor to have gone throught the same thing 16 years earlier than me so I relied on her heavily to give me the honest brutal truth and finally she said, "Well I am still here!" I guess at that point I had to accept the fact that no one knows how or why cancer works the way it does. Good heavens, I can't even find someone else who has the exact same cancer diagnosis and treatment that I had.

The support that you will find here will carry you through the tough times and we will celebrate the good times too. Nothing is off limits here, feel free to rant, cry, scream or what ever makes you feel better. Just know you are among some of the most wonderful people who is here to share your journey. Sending cyber hugs your way. :-)

tumornamedclyde

I am so happy to have a place to vent.

So, hello my name is Tina, I am a mom of 2, wife for 23 years, RN for 21 years and my mother is a 24 year survivor of BC. Scared, but optimistic. Thanks for the welcoming words of encouragement, peace and love....Tina

Angstapp

Welcome along Tina!

It's scary as hell, for me personally I've found it gets easier to live with. those first few weeks were terrifying and I was numb and detached from allot of it, I literally took it a day at a time, heck an hour at a time if I'm honest - and slowely the fear and anxiety has greatly improved. I'm still scared but it doesn't consume me and I'm really positive about living a long life and seeing my little ones grow up, we're all here to support you, lots of love and hugs xox

Jianchi

Hi Tina,

I was diagnosed 7 days earlier than you. Sigh! How are you doing now?

jenjenl

Tina - I am almost a year from dx and I still battle the mental demons. They creep in often but not as intense as they used to be. I suggest doing chemo 1st as well, I didn't and I regret it bc I will never know if chemo was effective. Here for you!

GuyGirl

I am three years out and still have days when I feel sorry for myself, and then I have to remind myself how lucky I am that I got a second chance and that yes I have some side effects I am dealing with, I am still here, still living every day to the fullest and loving my family to death.  Remember each day is a gift to be treasured.

Fighter_34

GuyGirl- good for being 3 years out, it does get easier.

HBD- means HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you enjoyed. I would be lousy in the medical world. Definitely not for me. I hate going to my ONC office now. I just want to be seen and run, brings back all the horrible memories! I was at a very low place prior to DX, and it took that fight it regain me. I never want to go down that road again. Just typing that made me FEEL better.

Clyde once you have a plan in place things seem to get better. People would say that in the beginning to me all the time, and it is true.

I had a BMX two years ago now. If you have any questions please feel free to ask. Take care of yourself.

Worrywart9390

candi - EVERYONE tells me, let me know what you need!! We were very self sufficient! and I thank God for that.    I was very surprised by ONE friend, who I havent seen in years who took me to radiation and she insisted.  She came to keep me company and it was so nice that she was there for me in that way and we reconnected. Its hard to ask, In reverse I would like to think I would jump in and DO.  And I have, we had a friend, very young, mid 30's , new baby and a teen daughter, when she was diagnosed, we and another family cooked a weeks worth of food - drove down to her house 2 hours away and delivered it and got on our hands and knees and cleaned up her house for her.  We did that a few times and once she said all she wanted to be able to sit on her deck and have a cup of coffee -her husband had taken it down and never replaced it - my husband got 5 guys together and drove down one day and they built her deck for her.  I'm not expecting anything like that, but yes a little more comfort and checking in to see what they (our friends and family) can do for us. I have one dear dear friend who told me she couldnt talk to me because she has her own problems that she cant put aside and she would be compelled to discuss her problems which would bring me down so best she doesnt talk to me!!! (her boyfriend committed a crime and is in jail).. Really??? you are that selfish that you cant talk to me for a few minutes about what i'm going thru...you dont care whats happening to me...wow, I guess shes really not a friend.  And i was comforting her about her boyfriend and never mind i went way out last year to get her the current job she has.  People are very strange.  I would take it as a learning lesson, dont stress about any of it.  You will find who your angels are around you and you many be surprised by who they are.  Some people just dont know any better.

There are services that can help you with food and anything else you might need.  Please reach out to the hospital treating you and the american cancer society.  I was offered food and other services, but I am blessed with a wonderful husband and two kids and truthfully even though i went through a lot, I was able to function and work and cook and do whatever I needed to with the help of my family, so I know I am one of the lucky ones.

candi07

Thanks to all of you for sharing your survival stories they are very encouraging.

jenjenl

Ugh...now I have shingles.

Titan

Everyone has their stories about "friends" and going through dx/treatment/etc....I have to admit there were some friends I was totally disappointed with and some that totally surprised me with their caring....sometimes I think about the ones that were totally uncaring that I really hoped nothing bad ever happened to them....however, I have learned to let it go..some people just don't have it in them to really care...they are just superficial....friends when things are going good...nowhere in sight when they are not...I have learned alot about people during my cancer journey.....and it's ok...its just how some people are.....I have learned how I need to be...

Lookingforward66

Hello to all. Haven't checked in a few days because I've been as they say knee-deep in alligators. I so thank you all for letting me know that life does go on because it sure going on in my neck of the woods. My 99-year-old mother-in-law is in the hospital slowly failing but she'll go back to nursing home tomorrow. To really make things ironic I'm one of the ones that has medical power of attorney. So I get all her news and updates and things, it's a mess. But sitting back today just looking at the last few days has made me realize yes life does go on. I haven't really thought about my diagnosis, my having to quit chemo, my just throwing the dice, my holistic treatments, nothing, I've just been doing.... Actually is in some ways it's sad because it's coming to the end of her time but it made me realize it's not the end of mine yet. I've still got things to do. Still going to my yoga still watching my diet but my BC is not my primary thought for the day anymore. Actually such a relief. I'm sure I'll have up-and-down days and maybe someday I'll have to face it again but right now I really have a positive outlook. And I can thank a majority of you for letting me see that. Life goes on and we have to live it the best way we can. We can't have that cloud hanging over us 24/7 waiting for the rain. Some days we just have to look for that rainbow.

God bless those we have lost. So now we fight in their place to beat this CRAP!!

Let's go ladies (AL husband too). Give a cheer. We're still here & doing our best day to day to keep on - keeping on.

Love to you all. Keep looking for that rainbow! )

tumornamedclyde

Jianchi,

I am still in panic/ fight/flight mode.

I can't seem to stop crying and can't bring myself to leave the comfort of my home. I know it will get better and I hate being so down all the time. Seeing MO tomorrow to try to get started on Chemo. I never thought I would look forward to something like that, but I am so ready to start fighting this monster. I wish that this crap would just go away and leave everyone alone. Has anyone out there heard of ESSIAC tea? My daughter studied plant biology in college and has tons of research on healing herbs, so she brought me some and I have been drinking it...it can't hurt.

Stupidboob

Debra I did not receive a pm from you..................but thank you for thinking of us

Cocker_Spaniel

Lookingforw I feel just like you although I didn't in the beginning. I'm grateful for every day and I try my best not to let it get me down any more. I will worry about tomorrow when it comes. I find laughter is the key and it doesn't take much to make me laugh plus a very loving family.

To all the newbies hopefully things will get better for you.

With regards to friends I found everybody was supportive and helped cheer me up no end. With my friends, family and you ladies I think all that really helped me.

Titan just for you, we have a long weekend so I will think about you slogging away on the computer on Monday!!! And it is also my wedding anniversary. I have been married to my old feller for 47 years and he is still as wonderful as the day I married him. Sure just a few little spats along the way but he's never given me any cause to worry and is there 100% for me and his family. So I reckon by now he is a keeper bless his heart.

Have a great weekend and try not to worry everyone. Do something you really enjoy and have a lot of fun if you can.

Lookingforward66

Just a note to tumornamedclyde.

Sorry about your diagnosis. Your in the beginning stages of fighting this CRAP. Your feelings are well understood by this group. We have all been there.

I have not made one year yet but determined to do my best.

Glad you are being proactive, but as someone that had no alternative than alternative medicine due to allergies & chemo complications. I strongly advise you to tell your MO that you are taking the Tea. It may have side effects with chemo. What ever you decide keep your team advised if what you are doing. It is very important. All my doctors know exactly what I am doing. They can't prescribe my choice, but can monitor me.

Good Luck. Keep looking forward.

Babs37

Cocker- WOW 47 years!!! Happy wedding anniversary!

mags20487

Congrats to you and your Old Feller Annie...47 years is amazing!!

Mags

Jianchi

tumornamedclyde,

I understand exactly how you feel... I will see my MO again after my SNB and port put in next week. He already told me it will be Dose Dense AC+T. I went to my hair stylist yesterday to have my hair cut short before chemo. My stylist charged me nothing. He told me I would be fine and he wants to support me in the way he can. I am so touched as I have only been to him once. People like this really warm your heart and make you want to live and be there for others when you are all well.

Good luck to you!

J

candi07

Good morning all,

Clyde, its normal to have the emotions you are experiencing. You will find a lot of strength and courage on this site.

Cocker Spaniel, congratulations and Happy Anniversay, hope you are doing something great!

Titan, thank you so much for speaking on support by family and friends. I was very selective in the people I told about me having cancer...just my family and best friend. To my surprise they are not as supportive as I thought they would be. I feel as though I chose the wrong people to share and felt if I told others they would have been more supportive. Been feeling down about it all week.

Well on a lighter note my birthday is Monday...the big 50! Nothing big planned just small dinner with my kids and going to see a broadway show in NY with hubby. I took today and Monday off to do whatever I want.

Hugs and kisses to all.

tumornamedclyde

happy early birthday candi07.

Jianchi, good luck with port placement. I used to help out in the chemo dept at our local hospital, and having that port is a GOD send!

Looking foreword, I will defly tell my MO! There actually are some documented cases of this stuff working. It was concocted by native Americans and a nurse from Canada tried to market it, but was shut down by the powers that be, Google Rene Caisse.

Mags~happy anniversary!

ALHusband

Worrywart my wife has a "friend" who, not long after her Mastectomy, came over to "help out" and wound up sitting drinking coffee while my wife was on her hands and knees, grimacing in pain, while washing the kitchen floor. I was mad at my wife for attempting it in the first place while I was at work (I would have GLADLY done it for her) but I was even more furious to hear that this "ass-hat" sat there and watched her! Some people need to try using their head as more than a hat rack once in a while.

NavyMom

HAH!  "ASS-HAT"    Never heard that one before....love it and will be using it...often.  Pitiful how some peolpe act. So Clueless.

Hang in there all you new ladies.  Find your voice and let people in your world know what you want and need.  And that includes Doctors, nurses, family and friends.  Love and hugs to all of you.

candi07

ALHusband, OMG that is awful, its like why was she even there. People are unbelievable. That tops my family coming over sitting and staring at me and talking to me in that you got cancer voice...hate that and quickly put a stop to it. If you are not here to help me then what's the point!

Titan

Clyde..haven't heard of the tea..but I have heard of ativan...ask your onc for it...there is nothing wrong with taking this at a time like this...it will calm you and help you sleep...go for it girl

and Happy Anniversary Annie to you and the old feller...!

Titan

wow...was it something I said...lol....we all haven't talked for 21 hours....hope every one is out having fun....watching my buckeyes play penn state..just checking in

Worrywart9390

Candi, Happy Birthday, enjoy the show!! Do you live in NY?? I'm in Orange County!!

AlHusband - I too love asshat, will be using it as well.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.