Calling all TNs

1…374375377379380…1198

Comments

  • mitymuffin
    mitymuffin Member Posts: 337
    edited January 2012

    Laura Jane, darling person, I'm sending you love. I'm so sorry to hear this news. Love and blessings to you and enjoy the root beer floats.

    Susan

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mitymuffin
    mitymuffin Member Posts: 337
    edited January 2012

    Laura Jane, darling person, I'm sending you love. I'm so sorry to hear this news. Love and blessings to you and enjoy the root beer floats.

    Susan

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • laurajane
    laurajane Member Posts: 321
    edited January 2012

    Thank you all for your love and support.

    Suze- I thought and go back and forth on those same thoughts. But then I get this serge of hope that something might work.



    I saw my onc on Tuesday and she was shocked at how much my FC had progressed in one week. My Tumor markers went from H382 the day I started the Cisplatin and Cetuximab to H1100 after two treatments. I asked if I could try the Halavan and even though it seemed like my skin mets were starting to come back on it it sure worked miracles for the first 5 weeks. I just want to slow this down. The edema in my belly makes me look like I've gained about 20 lbs, funny it's only on my left side. The edema in my arm which is so painful is blown up like 4 times the size all the way from my
    shoulder to my fingers. I have no use I can't even lift it. It's such a strange painful feeling. The
    tumors and skin mets look like some one has thrown acid on me and this alien creature is trying to
    crawl out of my body from my neck down to my lower ribs wound under my arm pit on around to my back. My pain meds have been increased to 30mg time release every 8 hours and 30mg short acting every 4 hrs. This has really helped. I'm sharing this with you all to try and give you a picture of what I am going through so that I can share something wonderful that has happened to me.
    Throughout all of this FC I have been in an on again off again relationship with the most selfish,insensitive, cheating, lying mentally abusive boyfriend. Full of false promises, wealthy someone who spent $250,000 renovating his condo yet doesn't even have the desire to replace my broken fridge, called me ugly since I had cancer which is why he has no sexual desire for me, he constantly talks about other womans beautiful breasts, offered to pay the $24,000 for my Cetuximab when I had broken up with him again for the thousanth time, so I let him come here for Christmas and it was just another lie. You get the picture I've tolerated this abuse because I didn't think anyone else would ever want me because of my FC.
    Well a couple of months ago I met this really nice man that a friend introduced me to. I was feeling good then, the Halavan was working and we went out to dinner a couple of times. I didnt tell him about my cancer because I really thought I was beating it. He's very handsome, extremely wealthy, and most important so sincerely nice. He lives in DC. But has one of his businesses here. We have so much in common it truly seemed like a set up. It just felt so wonderful spending time with him and to feel attractive to someone so. He kissed me passionately after each dinner and it felt wonderful. I wasn't sure I'd ever hear from him again but I cherished that feeling of being desired. Well, lo and behold I got an email from him and he said he would be back in town on the 17th and I didn't no
    what to do. I decided to be honest with him and tell him about my FC. He told me he felt like someone had kicked him in the gut because he thought I was the woman of his dreams. He is saddened by my cancer but hopes I can beat it. We've gone out every night and had wonderful dinners and superfine wine while he's been here and he has told me how much he wants to make love to me. ( this is with my Cetuximab pimple like rash all over my face. He says he doesn't even see it because my beauty as a person shines through. My mastectomy doesn't matter to him. When i showed him my edema he said it just looks a little swollen. We talk for hours and seem to close each resturant we go to and it is wonderful. He wants to fly me to DC and other places when I am feeling up to it. He makes me feel like I am the most beautiful person in the world. My kids really like him. I feel so happy in my heart to have experienced this kind of feeling before I am gone. I look forward to feeling better and not quite as self conscience to take him up on his offer to make love.
    For now it is so exciting to make out like teenagers. My exboyfriend was like a cancer I'm saddened that I've tolerated his mental abuse for the last 5 1/2 years. I truly think there is a correlation between him and my FC. I am going to beat this FC. Love is so healing. Thanks for letting me write this book and sharing.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • TifJ
    TifJ Member Posts: 1,568
    edited January 2012

    Laurajane that is absolutely the most wonderful story I've heard in a long time. You truly deserve to have a man love you for you and not what you look like. I am so happy for you and perhaps this is your miracle! Enjoy every moment with him and I hope your onc gets you going on something to relieve your swelling and pain.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Member Posts: 1,076
    edited January 2012

    LauraJane, you are such a beautifull person inside and out, I'm so happy you have met someone who treats you as you deserve to be treated.  I agree with Tifj, I believe this is your miracle!  Enjoy every moment with him.   

    When will your onc be starting you on Havalen again?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • KSteve
    KSteve Member Posts: 486
    edited January 2012

    LauraJane - I have goosebumps and tears of joy after reading your last post! I too believe that this is your miracle . . . with love anything is possible.  To finally be treated as you should have been all along, is sooooo awesome.  I can't stop smiling now!  And I'm praying that the Havalen will begin to slow the train down.  I know I don't post much, but I follow everyone's ups and downs regularly.  You're always on my mind.  Keep on making out like a teenager!

    Kathy

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • TifJ
    TifJ Member Posts: 1,568
    edited January 2012

    Maybe Laurajane's new man can talk to my husband- I'd like to "make out like a teenager" again!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Member Posts: 1,076
    edited January 2012

    I'm with you Tifj, I can't remember the last time my hubby and I made out!  LOL 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • christina1961
    christina1961 Member Posts: 736
    edited January 2012

    Laurajane, I am so happy that you have found someone who recognizes your beautiful spirit!   I hope you will find some relief with the Halaven. I am still on it and I think it is easy to tolerate. Did they ever rebiopsy just in case your cancer mutated to HER2? I don't even know if that is a possibility or an option or not but you could ask your MO about it and whether it would be worthwhile to try.

    sending you lots of love and support,

    Christina

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited January 2012

    I am so happy for you Lj! You deserve happiness!

    Weather is crazy here.a A tree side swiped our house. Just messed up the gutter thank goodness. Branches every where. Gonna a be alot of cleanup.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • laurajane
    laurajane Member Posts: 321
    edited January 2012

    Thanks all of you it's so nice to be able to share a bit of happy news. I started back on Halavan yesterday. I will know by next Tuesday if it's helping. Yes I was tested let July to see if my FC had mutated and it had not. My onc said she has never seen a disease like mine where the FC rejects the chemos right away. It is indeed a train. I too hope for miracles for all of us. Wishing all of you great making out sessions too. But I think it's hard to beat a gentle hug from the person that you know loves you and has been there for those of you that have someone like that through the long tough battle you all are facing.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Summer38
    Summer38 Member Posts: 253
    edited January 2012

    LJ - Your story brought tears to my eyes, I'm thrilled you are feeling love and happiness during all of this - you deserve it! You're in my thoughts every day and I pray a miracle will come your way.

    Stay strong and enjoy the good things!......and the root beer floats LOLWink

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited January 2012

    No, LJ, you have that wrong - we thank YOU for sharing with US that so very private and special part of your life.  I am delighted to hear that this man has entered your life and brought happiness and meaning to it.  Who says there aren't angels here on earth???????

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lynn18
    Lynn18 Member Posts: 416
    edited January 2012

    laurajane:  I am so happy you found someone so special.  You are right, love is healing and I hope that between this special person and the Havalan, you will be healed.  You are a special friend to me and I love ya!

    Susan:  I am glad you shared your thoughts with us.  None of knows exactly what is in our future.  You truly inspire me.  I hope you feel a little better each day and I hope you have a wonderful cruise. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2012
    LJ- what LRM216 said. You have been given a gift, and I know you will cherish every moment of it. I am honored you shared this with us, and to know that you are being treated with the warmth, love and compassion that you so richly deserve.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ksmatthews
    ksmatthews Member Posts: 812
    edited January 2012

    Laurajane what a great inspiration you are!  Thank you for sharing!  ((hugs))

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lovelyface
    Lovelyface Member Posts: 674
    edited January 2012

    LJ - When I read your story, my goodness, all I can think of is that you have been sent an angel.  You are so very loved that an angel appears for you.  I swear I have no question in my mind that he is sent to you to help you out at this time, so that you may heal back to health.

    Something similar happened to me, and I have always been in awe of my experience.  I feel that this is exactly what is happening to you.

    When I was going through my very painful divorce, and was eventually selling our home, the guy who walked through the door to buy our home, fell in love with me.  He eventually bought our home.  The last day when I was supposed to walk out the door, he welcomed me back into my old home.  My ex gave me flowers as a parting gift, and the new man also gave me flowers. I put them both on the table next to each other, and said to myself, outgoing and incoming.  He was sent to me as an angel at a time in my life, when I was down so badly, with no one to help me.  I was devastated and still in love with my ex during my divorce, but this new man made me feel so beautiful, he loved me a million times better, which I had never experienced before with my horrible ex.  With this new man, I never really felt the pain of my divorce and he was there to move me into a new home, to love me and to love my son.  I have always always known that the angels come to you when you really need them.  My angel was this man at a time in my life, which was very difficult.

    Laurajane, this man is your angel, sent by the higher power.  You are so blessed, girl!!!!  Enjoy the beautiful moments with him and your body WILL heal, since love is the highest healer.

    I have a big smile on my face, wish you could see it!!!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited January 2012

    A sexy Angel at that!  love it...Thanks for sharing Laura! You certainly deserve this love...and he's a pretty lucky guy too...

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited January 2012

    Hey ladies..I need your help...have any of you read any of the books by Dr Oz?  Do any of you do the stuff he says to do? 

    The reason I'm asking is that (I work for a grocery store chain)..and we are looking to promote products..plus have them available for people looking for them....I guess Kale is HUGE...

    Maybe I'm not allowed to do this on here...but we want to have these foods available for our customers....my company knows that I have BC and look to me for help in this..they really do care.....I just want it to be "real" and not a fanatical type of thing...if you know what I mean.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • inmate4232010
    inmate4232010 Member Posts: 310
    edited January 2012

    Laurajane....Thank you so much for sharing your story.  I couldn't help but smile at your wonderful news! That feeling you get when you first meet and get to know someone, with all the flutters can make a girl feel sooooo good.  It's time for you to be able to concentrate on feeling better.  Let's hope that the Halavan gets your body to cooperate.

    Suze....Your words are so moving.  The support and encouragement you give to us is inspiring.  Thank you!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 4,516
    edited January 2012

    Suze and Laurajane - my thoughts are with you each and every day. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mitymuffin
    mitymuffin Member Posts: 337
    edited January 2012

    Suze, I have huge respect and admiration for your words, and you. Thank you for showing us a way of such grace.

    You and LauraJane continue to shine with love, as you go through great trials. You are leading, and teaching us.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • laurajane
    laurajane Member Posts: 321
    edited January 2012

    Good morning all of you beautiful ladies!

    Lovelyface- thank you for sharing your story. I am so happy for you.

    Titan- I eat kale everyday in my juices. I think it's great. You all have heard how I had changed my diet. Interesting, my onc was shocked at how perfect my labs were after doing the Cisplatin and Cetuximab. She said it was like I hadn't even done chemo as far as WBC and RBC etc. I think it has a lot to do with diet. Although I wonder if that also has something to do with why these chemos haven't worked.

    Inmate- I'm curious and so beyond happy at your clean pet and finishing your chemo. What is the list of chemos you've done and what order. If you don't mind sharing. You had such success on this last chemo cocktail I'm curious as to what it was. Maybe a miracle for me too!Actually I just looked on your page and saw what you did. Was that a trial? I had methotextrate the month before I got cancer to abort a pregnancy horribly sad but it was lodged at the opening of my uterus blocked by a fibroid tumor, not sure what the 5IU is and curious about Leucoverin is?



    Hope you all have a great day. I'm going to go cuddle up on my recliner and watch HGTV and the food network. I'm not feeling fabulous today but maybe tomorrow.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Member Posts: 1,076
    edited January 2012

    Good Morning Ladies,

    Just received a call from my BF, every year both she and her daughter do the Relay For Life in her area, this year she has choosen to be a team captain and I will be walking as a survivor.  I can't believe how my life has changed in the past year. 

    I think we're going to be making a weekend of it, she is a Manicurist so I'll book myself an appt with her for a mani/pedi and with a stylist to for a cut and color, my first since chemo.  I think I'm pretty excited about the whole thing. 

    Laurajane and Suze, you both are always in my thoughts. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Luah
    Luah Member Posts: 1,541
    edited January 2012

    LJ and Suze: You are both absolute gems - so grateful for your posts. 

    Titan: I've only seen Dr. Oz a few times - don't think much of him, frankly.

    Well, I saw my onc for a follow-up yesterday. All's good. Last week's MRI was clear, so relieved about that. I've graduated to a 6-month call-back. I asked her about metformin, and she said no, she would not prescribe - I got the feeling that it's pretty much policy at my cancer center among all the oncs, to await results from trials before jumping aboard. 

    Hope everyone has a nice day - cold here, but we have a nice blanket of white, and the sun is shining, which I love. Did my usual 4-mile walk with my friend through a ravine, very beautiful.  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • inmate4232010
    inmate4232010 Member Posts: 310
    edited January 2012

    Laurajane.....Wow, I had no idea that Methotrexate was used in that way.  So sorry to hear you had to go through that and then get hit by cancer.  Ain't life a b****h sometimes!  5-FU and Leucovorin replaced Xeloda.  Unfortunately my insurance would not approve Xeloda at the same level of coverage so we switched.  As Dr K explained Xeloda converts to the 5-FU combo once it is absorbed (?) by your body so for me it was a financial decision between my doctor and I.  Leucovorin is a reduced folic acid and is used in combination with other chemotherapy drugs to either enhance effectiveness or as a chemoprotectant.  My WBC and platelets tanked on this combo and at the end my liver enzymes spiked so we took an extra look during the scan.  Otherwise the SEs were manageable with fatigue and extra bathroom visits being the worst of it.  I go back next Friday to check my blood and set up my schedule for follow-up.  As it stands now I will be checked on a monthly basis until we feel comfortable with every 3 months.

    I pray that YOUR combo is just around the corner.  Tons of love and prayers to you my dear! 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lovelyface
    Lovelyface Member Posts: 674
    edited January 2012

    Titan - I used to watch Dr. Oz some time back, but felt it was just way too much information, and too much to believe.  In my opinion, I feel that human beings are much more than just what we eat, what tests we do, and that the same thing is good for everyone.  I don't believe that something which has great properties for healing is good for all human beings.  I just could not cope up with him, so I left watching his shows.  Sorry, I don't have info. so can't help you.

    Luah - Congratulations on your clean MRI.  I am getting mine done on Jan. 30th.

    Onc. examined me for my pain in my neck/head yesterday and has ordered a revised MRI, to include the brain.  He said he is almost certain it is nothing to do with cancer, but since I am a young woman, he wants to make sure everything is okay.  I loved him yesterday, he was so normal and responsive, no mean comments or medically structured sentences, which I cannot understand.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited January 2012

    Im trying to stay positive but I am miserable! No power for two days and expecting a few moderate so power. I still don't feel good. Where they took my port out is still infected. They did a culture to see if it is still staph and if it is back on antibiotics. Don't want to do more! They mess up my whole system! Im worried that my immune system is very messed up and worry the cancer will come back. I haven't even started rads yet. When will something good happen? I shouldn't whine as I always say as everything regarding cancer has gone pretty smooth until this year!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • inmate4232010
    inmate4232010 Member Posts: 310
    edited January 2012
    Bak94....I'm so so sorry.  You seem to have gotten the short stick on this go round.  If I can do anything, please let me know.  I have many vehicles to get around and would be happy to bring you anything.  
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • inmate4232010
    inmate4232010 Member Posts: 310
    edited January 2012

    Ladies, I have a few ideas for some t-shirts for fundraising and hope that you would be kind enough to let loose with our opinions.  

    Here goes:

    1.  (front)  It's okay to touch yourself......                                                                                        (back)  self exams save lives!

    2.  (front)  F**k Pink.....                                                                                                                (back) breast cancer effects women of all colors!

    3.   (front)  Show us your.......(graphic of nips below)                                                                       (back)  everyone's got 'em...even men!

    4.  Flat chicks are hot!

    5.  Flat chicks ROCK! 

    Yes, they are meant to shock, but have I taken it too far?  Only you ladies can tell me.  I'm thinking the sale of these shirts can benefit many great organizations.  Please include your thoughts on where you think the money should go.     

    Thanks in advance for your opinions.  They mean so much to me. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories