I'd rather be flat than fake...I think.

Suzybelle

Hi, Ladies:

I was just wondering if any of you are going flat all the time...I have been going without forms and no bra for over 4 weeks now and have to say- it feels awesome.  I don't wear them at ALL.  I work in an office and have to 'dress' for work.  I wasn't a big woman before surgery - a very small B cup.  Sometimes I feel wierd about going flat, like people can tell I've had a double mastectomy, but my precious hubby says I look pretty.  He said, "I probably wouldn't have the courage to do it, but if anybody doesn't give a #$%& what people think, it's you."

I'm trying to look feminine and nice, but I HATE wearing the fake boobs and the bra.  I feel like I should get SOMETHING out of this whole experience, and no bra is awesome, but I still feel self conscious sometimes.

 Anybody else wrestling with this? 

ElaineD

I've been flat for 4 years-once you get over the initial feelings, it's so much easier and more practical. I could never have put myself through further surgery for cosmetic reasons, although many do.I hated prosthesis too. I tend to subscribe to "what you see is what you get", and never use wigs either. I rarely get comments/looks-in fact, I have had more direct questions when I have to wear my lymphoedema sleeve! I think it's perfectly feasible to do on a permanent basis-good luck. If you and your hubby are content-then frankly, that is all that matters. (Although I would say if you have young children, and they feel uncomfortable, you might want to rethink?)

carcharm

I'm an uniboober and I go  without any support to work with one swinging in the wind and  sunkedness on the left and it feels sooooo good. I hate my prosthesis. It hurts my mastectomy site.

Suzybelle

Thanks, Elaine - no little kids - my daughter is grown and thinks it's wonderful I don't have to wear a bra. 

ElaineD

Excellent Suzie....then follow your heart. It's your life and your body. You have no reason to be ashamed/embarrassed about it, so you're quite right to do what makes you feel most comfortable. Well done to you!

Trickling

I have not had a mastectomy though one breast is now quite shrunken and disfigured compared to the other which is large and was not affected.  I have chosen not to wear any kind of prosthesis.  Just passing through to add a helpful positive resource link (Vicki - double mastectomy images and reflections)

http://www.breastcancer.org/pictures/treatment/mastectomy_photo.jsp

ElaineD you summed it up in a nutshell: follow your heart . . . your have no reason to be ashamed/embarrassed about your decision.

MaineCoonKitty

I was a DD cup girl from the time I was a teenager on and hated the attention my big boobs got me.  I opted for a left side mastectomy and had a breast reduction done on the right side, down to a very small B cup.  Bye bye underwire bras!  I love being able to go without a bra at home and only having to wear a very light sports bra even in my clingiest work clothes.  I do wear a foob for work, but it's very small and very comfortable, but I have gone without one as well.  No big deal...if my staff is studying my chest, it's their problem, not mine.

The best thing of all...being able to sleep on my stomach for the first time in years!  I really like being almost flat-chested and have no desire to do any recon at all.  No more blouses gaping at the buttons, no more sweaty, chaffing bras in the summer, no more lugging around huge hooters.

You have to do what's best for you, but I LOVE being nearly flat chested.

Erica3681

Suzybelle,

Check out the thread "Wardrobe Pics for Boobless Days." There's a community of women here who go flat and share their thoughts about it and wardrobe solutions. I'll bump the thread to the top.

Barbara

pip57

Three years "flat" for me.  I find it very liberating.  I joke with the other ladies at work when it is hot that there is no sweat under my boobs!  And no harness and straps to confine me!  Easier to jog too!  

lovemygarden

I too have discovered that I much prefer going flat versus wearing foobs/bumps/whatever ... although I would like to also find a truly comfortable alternative for any random times when I may feel, for whatever reason, like having some "front curvature". See my thread 'Why do I 'need' $$$ silicone breastforms?' for some great discussion and how I've fared in my search so far.

I was midway between an A and a B cup before my BMX (used to wear Playtex's "I Can't Believe it Fits" bra in the Nearly B cup size) so it's not like it was exactly an earthshaking change either..

Another point to consider. Let's face it: As women age (and I'm now 60) even the smaller breasts look less and less "attractive", shall we say...    .... and personally I consider it a fringe benefit to be spared having to watch what gravity, time, and Mother Nature would've done to those particular body parts in another 15 - 20 years!

apple

i like it.

chainsawz

I've been going flat since my bmx in 2008 and no one even looks twice and I LOVE not wearing a bra for the first time in my life...woo hoo!!   I had large breasts that got constant attention....my flat chest does't get any and I really like it.  I think you have been thru so much already......this is about you and your comfort.  If flat makes you comfortable then don't worry about anyone else.  Your DH sounds like a great guy and has the right idea!!   lisa

badger

Hi Suzybelle - BMX 10 weeks ago no recon no foobies no regrets.  Like Elaine, WYSIWYG!  I go flat all of the time, and still look feminine and nice at work.  At home, I'm casual in jeans and a t-shirt.  No bra is great (no rolls of back fat lol). Best wishes!

LindaLou53

I have been going flat more than 4 years now and truly enjoy the level of freedom and comfort it provides.  After a brief adjustment period of feeling like everyone was "looking at me"  I quickly realized that most people just don't pay any attention at all.  I now would feel more self conscious and awkward if I showed up wearing a prosthesis.  Its pretty easy to find tops with extra gathers, ruffles, smocking, neckline detail etc. to give the illusion of some fullness. I generally just wear a snug tank top underneath a variety of loose button down shirts or tunics.  Since I also have lymphedema, not wearing bras and heavy prosthesis makes it easier to keep the lymph fluid from building up in my truncal area. 

The only issues I have with going flat is that it emphasizes my middle-aged abdominal girth!  That's where the loose shirts/tunics come in handy and also blouson type swimsuits.  

nagem

Linda Lou, I've been going flat for four years or so too, and have not found it a hardship, but lately I've been looking for some more discreet tops to fill out my wardrobe, and I have to say I'm having trouble finding those smocked, gathered shirts and tunics you describe. I'm quite tall, so anything too girly looks a little silly on me. Any specific tips?

LindaLou53

Nagem I am 6 ft tall so I am always on the lookout for long shirts and tunics!  One place I like to check a few times a month is Marshalls clearance racks.  They carry a variety of tanks and short sleeve tops in different materials and styles.  I can usually find a soft flexible knit top with either a neckline yoke and soft gathers in the bodice or an elastic waist style tunic top which is long enough to cover my hips.  I have actually bought some of their shorter sheath style dresses and used them for tunics along with slacks or leggings.  I generally shop discount clothing and rarely pay high end prices for anything.  I keep saying I am going to drag my sewing machine out one of these days and go back to making my own clothes like I did in high school....but just can't quite find the time!

Check clearance racks at Macy's and Penneys for tall size clothing.  Walmart used to carry talls more than they do now but I can still find some cute everyday longer tops there from time to time.

I don't generally go for lots of ruffles or a too "girly" look either, but being tall and flat chested with short hair I do try to throw a few feminine clues into my clothing and jewelry to at least cut down on the number of times I get called "Sir". 

I like pinks, lavendars, rose, azure blues in my color choices along with a necklace and earrings even if I am wearing more tailored style shirts and tanks.

barbe1958

I've been flat for a year and a half and would never consider faking it! If I have to deal with it...so do you! I'm only 52, but didn't consider recon for other health reasons.

I just found out yesterday that two young ladies at work had NO idea I didn't have breasts! They were absolutely stunned! They said, "But you wear normal clothes!" ehhehehehehehhe...I do!

But, I walk like I have the best pair out there!  Gone are my huge (and reduced!) 42D's ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ezscriiibe

Oddly enough, my mom had a single mastectomy several years ago. She was small chested to begin with.

She never wears bras or forms.

In fact, she has pretty much even forgotten that she had a mastectomy! We were talking at lunch one day about whether I will get a mastectomy and, if so, double or single.

I told her that I would definitely get a double, since it would be awkward to manage with one breast a 44D and the other. . . nothing.

I then said that it would be a little different than hers, since she was much smaller.

She looked at me quizzically and said, "I had a mastectomy?" Then  pulled her shirt out to look down and said with a laugh, "Oh yeah! I forgot!"

Sassa

I went from huge massive breasts to being totally flatchested and loved it.  I very rarely wore any prostheses.

After more than two years of being happily flatchested, I decided to have reconstruction with silicone implants (it was a decision that took me about six months to make).  I have ended up with "B" cup size foobs that I am happy with.

Strangs as it may sound, a big part of my decision was knowing  that I could be very happy being flat chested and, if I was one of the women that reconstruction caused problems with, I would not be devastated to return to being flat.

barbe1958

Sassa, that actually doesn't sound strange at all, but perfectly logical! It's a very good way to explain it!

robinlbe

I'm only a little over three months out my BMX, and it was just this week I got my forms/bumps/curves....I'm worn them for a few days (probably more than what I will normally wear them) just because I knew I had 15 days to return them/exchange them if I needed to do so.  I wanted to make sure I could live with this choice. 

I was very self-consious the first couple of weeks I was in public going flat, but after that, I wasn't.  I found that if I wore lower necklines, it didn't accentuate my flat chest at all....the higher the neckline, the more it did.  I, like, several of you on this thread, am tall (a little over 5'11"), and on the thinner side. 

I didn't have very large breasts either and they were more wide than out front (always had been that way, even as a teen).  I suppose if I had gotten the underwired or the push up kind of bras, I could have looked bigger, but I didn't want to look bigger.

Anyway, today, I actually wore my new forms to church for the first time....I don't think anyone noticed any difference.  BUT the nice thing about the forms was that I was able to wear a top that I hadn't been able to wear.  There are a few things in my closet/drawers that absolutely need some filling out. Granted, it doens't take much (ha!), but they need a little bit. 

Once I get past my 15 days, and I'm sure that these Amoena's are the ones I'm keeping, then I'll probably just wear them only for the "filling-out" days....I've actually found that by wearing the bras and forms more than two days in a row, they rub my rib bones and make them sore.

Oh, and I HATED to wear bras before BC too...I couldn't find a MX bra that was comfy, so I just sewed in pockets on my old comfy bras...And this morning, as soon as I got home from church, OFF came the bra/forms, and on went a cami and a fun shirt and that's what I wore the rest of the day and to night church.

blessings..robin

ordinarymammal

I'm so glad to see this thread.  I go for bilateral mastectomy this Friday without reconstruction.  I have always been DD or greater, and I am intrigued to see what flat life will be like.  I am overweight, but committed to getting back into shape.  Used to run in college, after binding up with two or three different sports bras, and still hating the bounce.  I did promise my teenage boys that I wouldn't go out in public flat--guess I'll have to find some training bras and stuff in some kleenex--am amazed at how expensive the prostheses are. But maybe I can sneak off to run flat around the track in the dead of night!

Maybe, one day, I'll be so tired of no chest that I'll beg for "reconstruction."  But at least, I'll be doing it because I know that's what I want.

The flat choice was a surprise for me.  It's purely to please myself.  I would have gotten immediate reconstruction to please my husband, but he didn't seem to care either way.

Wish me luck on Friday. (23rd)

robinlbe

Ordinary, you've got more than wishing from me...I'll be praying for you!!  I was in your shoes in January.  I know what it's like.  My husband didn't care about my being flat.  He's been so sweet about it.  He kisses my flat chest and rubs it, just like he used to when there were boobs there.  I dislike my flat chest, but I would hate reconstruction, too.  So, you get what you get, you know?  My kids - also teenagers- didn't care if I went out flat.  At first, I started out in sweatshirts (it was winter), and NO one could tell. 

Yes, the forms are expensive.  The ones I got this week were $290 each....insurance will pay 80% up to $205 each.  (once I met my deductible - which I did, since my BMX was in January).  I ended up paying $255 out of pocket.  I didnt' buy their bras, but sewed on pockets onto my old bras - they were more comfy.

blessings..robin

lovemygarden

In my complete pre-surgery ignorance of the true "Wonderful World of Breast Alternatives" (other than traditional $ilicone Foob$) I stupidly gave away ALL of my regular bras with a big clothing donation two days before my BMX, assuming I would never be able to wear them again. Boy am I kicking myself for that now! Many of those bras were never worn more than once or twice too.....

Sassa

Ordinarymammal,

I was also overweight at the time of my BMX.  My goal was to lose weight before my diagnosis.  I found being flatchested gave me an extra push to work on the weight loss.  Without the big breasts on top, my fat stomach was too prominent.  I wanted to bring my silhouette into a better proportion. 

It was so much more comfortable to exercise without the breasts flopping around and that helped with the weight loss.

As far as not appearing in public without forms, I started noticing that 98% of the people in public didn't even notice my chest area, and; that was a big (wonderful) change for me because my huge breasts always attracted unwanted attention.  The few that did notice seemed to be women who would stare at me in horror.  If I noticed, I would smile and say, "Have you had a mammogram lately?"  For the young well-endowed young ladies who were fashionably dressed with their chests hanging out (what happen to modesty?), I would look at them and say, "In my day I could put your breast to shame.  Look really well, I am your possible future!."

Robinlbe,

Like you, I hated wearing bras before my mastectomies.  It was a huge disappointment to me to find out that BMX bras were even more ugly and uncomfortable than the iron maidens I used to wear before BC.  It didn't seem fair that I finally got rid of the beasts (not a misspelling!) and still had to wear ugly uncomfortable bras.

What made me finally think about reconstruction was a cruise I took in October of 2008. I had decided I didn't want reconstruction.  I had some dresses that had lower necklines than I normally wore and needed some shape under them.  I invested in some protheses that were suppose allow me to stick them on my chest or attach them to my clothes (no bra straps to worry about).

The prostheses just didn't work out that well and I realized that I was just too young at 58 to restrict myself to wearing Tee shirts or being totally frustrated by prostheses for the rest of my life.  After all, I had already spent my life since my teens dressing to fit my breasts, not for fashion.  That was when I seriously started to think about reconstruction.

Best wishes for you all.  You will all eventually decide what you need or want.  There are pros and cons to both being flatchested or reconstructed.  Neither is all good or all bad However, your final right decision helps in the mental recovery from the BC journey..  

Suzybelle

Ordinary, I will pray for you too.  I had my bmx in Feb. and am doing great.    Had a lady today tell me I look younger now than when she saw me 5 years ago...I think I may start digging no boobs!!!! 

 Hang in there and know that there are lots of us who have 'been there, done that' and are doing just fine.

Hugs,

Suzanne

riley702

I'm only halfway through my pre-surgery chemo, but I'm already contemplating no reconstruction. My tumor was big and it's shrunk some, but I'm still thinking a lumpectomy might turn out to be a slabectomy. When I talk with the surgeon after the chemo is done, I'm contemplating asking him that if he gets in there and has to take half the breast, just take it all and make what's left as non-lumpy as possible. I also like the idea of it making finding new lumps in future easier and possibly getting a decorative tat on the scarred area. I'm 49, but my boobs have never been a body part I obsessed on. And I can deal with stares.

Carolyn

chainsawz

I have a little belly (well, not so little!) and my biggest surprise being flat was that I could feel my belly jiggle!  My breasts kept it held in place, but without them a ride in the car was very strange!  I have since gotten used to the feeling and barely notice it :>

BulldogluvrBeck

I had my BMX on March 1st. No recon and am very happy. I bought the  Amoenas  a couple of weeks ago and have worn them 3 times. They are ok for an awards dinner or something where I need to dress up but no way am I wearing them everyday! I can be super casual at work, jeans, t-shirt and button down shirt was my wardrobe before and it continues to be what I wear now.

I have always been a tom boy so I have never been into fluffly blouses or dresses so I am good to go!  I stand straight and tall and look people in the eye. This is who I am, my new normal and I am good with it. I look at my scars and say they saved my life.

We all should be comfortable and proud of ourselves whatever we choose to do. 

riley702

Well said!

TerriC

I still miss my right breast, but can move forward with a replacement. I went braless for a while ( 7 months) until I found a comfort four dollar sport bra at Kmart (2 weeks ago). I want a real breast and not dress-up only.