New to BC and Overwhelmed with guilt

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited January 2010

    I like what Bugs said, "make sure you stand in front of the mirror daily and tell yourself you didn't cause this".  I would add to that, "I'm going to fight this with every fiber of my being!"  You have three awesome children, so try to focus your efforts on loving them and just getting through this.  I bet we've all gone through beating ourselves up over what we could have and should have done to prevent our getting cancer, but it is a crap shoot.  I've been on the boards for a few years, and I can tell you that there are many women here who took great care of themselves by eating right, exercising, etc. (I wasn't one of them), and still got cancer. 

    We've all done things we're not proud of.  I'm a firm believer in forgving yourself and moving on.  It's the only way to live, and no one is perfect.  No one.  Thank goodness for that.

    Hugs

    Bobbie

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  • beatbc09
    beatbc09 Member Posts: 2
    edited January 2010

    OMG!!! I started out the week overwhelmed with guilt, had my first Taxol treatment on Tuesday and suffered through horrible neuropathy in my hands (so bad I couldn't do anything with them, including typing), and now I'm better and overwhelmed with the support from this group. 

    Thank you, thank you, thank you all of you who responded and comforted me.  Thank you for reassuring me that I'm not guilty of catching this disease, thank you for your suggestions on how to deal with my grief over my abortion, thank you for listening, thank you for being there for me.

    I feel stronger and with a new sense of courage and purpose to fight this battle.  I had talked to a priest before going in for my surgery and it was the first time ever I told someone else (besides my hubby) about my abortion.  He helped me a lot and told me all about God's forgiveness and so on, but I still felt an overwhelming sense of guilt.  I can't go back in time and can't imagine not having the children I have, so I must only look forward and try to make something good out of this diagnosis.  It took me a lot of courage to tell you all about what I'm going through but I'm so very glad I did so.

    Thank you again and I hope to post here from time to time to check up on everyone. Your messages meant the world to me this week...

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited January 2010

    Great to hear back from you. Sorry your first round of Taxol was tough, but remember, that is one down! You can get through the rest!!Remember keep looking forward.

    I wouldn't have made it through without the support from the wonderful women on these boards - they are who keep me sane in the "after" time as well. So, come here often, there will always be someone around to pull you through the tough times.

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  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 1,508
    edited January 2010

    beat,

    it did take a lot of courage to tell us and to tell your priest.  It may not feel like it now, but those are the first very important steps to forgiving yourself.  As you know, the priest has the power to absolve you, and it sounds like he did.... so now, you just need to help yourself through this-- with the help of a counselor or someone you trust--- it is very doable.  But you also have to work through your treatments so you may want to take these very big things one at a time.... but know that you are so very on your way.... and you have been very brave.... when we speak that thing that scares us the most, it is a little less scary......

    be well

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