January Mastectomy

KatRNagain92

Good to have you back Paula!  I loved all your stories and your pictures!  That dress was gorgeous!  The way it was cut and wrapped, you didn't (don't) need any fat grafting and you looked stunning.  What a beautiful wedding and what a happy family you have! 

Way to fight like a girl!

xoxo
Kat

bcincolorado

Thanks for sharing your photos.  It looks like you had a wonderful summer!

burley

Nice to have you back, Paula!  Looks like a beautiful wedding, and great pics with family and friends!

Met with the PS today before my exchange surgery next Tuesday...a typical quick appointment with her.  I always think of things I wanted to ask after I leave!  Like the dumbest question of all...which hospital is it at?  OMG, I'm losing my mind!  Chemo brain is real-I have truly lost some brain power and/or cells.  I'm assuming it's the same hospital where I had my mastectomy, but it doesn't hurt to ask!

I have to get bloodwork, a urinalysis, a chest xray and an EKG all done on Wednesday-my only day off this week.  So nice to be back to work, but I've got a crazy schedule right now.  And all done as a walk-in patient which means lots of waiting...ugh

And I have to go find a bra without an underwire!  I didn't even know they made them anymore.  This should be interesting.

pbebow

Kim, does he/she want you in a regular bra or a sports bra?  After my exchange I had to wear a sports bra for a while...  JC Penney has a great zip up the front one that works well.  I also bought a non-underwire at JC Penney, the brand is Ambrielle and I really like it.  The hardest part will trying to figure out what size you'll need ahead of time.  I would think the sports bra would be your best bet, I didn't get my actual bra for a few weeks after my exchange, remember the drop and fluff, those puppies will change.  I'm so excited for you to be finally getting your exchange, you're going to love the yippee squishies, eventually!  Remember, don't judge them too early!

Kat, thanks for the compliments, the dress was very, um, let's say forgiving...  it is a very flattering cut.  I still need to lose some poundage!  I am not fooling myself into thinking that the fat grafting is going to do anything for my belly, I know that he won't be taking enough off to make a difference, but I am still hoping that it will help my step off and ruffles.  He said that it could take up to 2-3 procedures for it to take or hold or whatever.  Did you PS say anything about that, are you going to try again?

pbebow

This is us, minus DH (he was taking the picture and he wasn't wearing boots or hat) just before we went in for the Jason Aldean concert last night!  Had a great time and saw a great concert!  I'm the one in the middle (duh) and Kevin and Lynsey are on the left and the other 2 is my sister and her fiance.

KatRNagain92

Kim,

I'm a big fan of the Spanx brand stuff...they have an all hosiery bra for 36 bucks.  It's awesome.  I had to wear that 24-7 after the nips but it still comes in handy.  Just the right amount of support and a lot of comfort.  They size it like 36 C-D so if you're not sure of your size it's forgiving and conforms to what you are.  I'm very excited for you to get rid of the hard coconuts and have the implants! 

Paula, I probably will never re-do the fat grafting.  As a matter of fact, I felt a small pea size lump in my divot that I'm convinced is a fatty necrosis by-product of the fat grafting but I will have it checked out on Monday when I go for my tattoos. (Do you have tattoos yet?) The ruffles and the divots are still pronounced so I don't really think it's worth it but of course everyone has to determine what is best for them.  I"m still convinced that there is estrogen in fat and we shouldn't be putting estrogen near a potential hazardous spot but he assured me that it was 'different' somehow.  So, we'll see. 

I will post pictures this weekend of my now nips before the tattoos and then after them. My nips look good.  The left is better than the right and the right is pretty much flush with the skin now.  I don't worry about headlights because after 1/2 hour with a cami or a bra on, they mash down...but then they come back out later when I take those undergarments off.   I'm pretty excited about the tats.  I'm going for the 41mm diameter which I think will look more youthful and just the right size.  Not to huge and not to tiny.  I'll keep you all posted!

Good luck with your job Paula! 

Laura, how are you feeling?

Hugs and prayers to all of Team January.  Where would I be without all of you?  (shudder to think!)

Kat

pbebow

Hey Kat... I've heard good and bad about the fat grafting, but most people say that it takes at least 2 times to work...  I think the divots or step off is harder to fill then the ruffles, I'm still going to give it a try.  I don't have my tats yet, I could've but I wanted to wait until after summer...  I didn't want any surgeries or anything to keep me from doing anything this summer.  I am supposed to go back on the 9th, but I think I'll be working that day so I need to call and reschedule that.  And we're going to schedule the fat grafting and tats then.  Maybe he'll do the tats while I'm under for fat grafting, I am kind of freaked out about the tats...  My nipples smash down under bras and stuff too... and that's just fine.  They make me feel normal but they aren't "on" all the time so I sometimes can go braless too!  Shhh, don't tell!  Don't forget about the pictures!  Still waiting to see your formal pictures!

Take care!

Paula

burley

I bought 3 bras today by Bali, at Ross of all places!  Thought I would look and I totally lucked out.  I'm not going to take the tags off yet, just in case.  They're very soft and look extremely comfortable, although they're not that pretty to look at it.  Oh well!  I'll give up pretty for comfort.

One bit of good news-I'm going to have my port removed at the same time as my implants.  Yea!  One less surgery/procedure for me.

I'll be glad when I finally have nipples, and especially excited when i finally have tatts and they look almost normal again!  sigh...One step at a time.

Had all my lab work, chest c-ray and ekg done at the hospital today, all in an hour and a half!  I was very pleased.

Have a great day ladies!

pbebow

Well damnit, now I am sad.  Just found out that my uncle's surgery didn't go well.  They had operated on him a while back and he had a tumor attached to his aorta that they were trying to shrink with chemo and radiation and it had shrunk so they just went back in (but they waited like a month in between since his last chemo and now) and the tumor had shrunk but the cancer had spread all through his body.  They are giving him weeks, maybe months...  I hate cancer!  He has about 25 grandchildren and some great grandchildren and they all love him so much, and he is my oldest son's godfather...  I am so angry!    He started getting sick over a year ago and my mom begged him to go to Mayo Clinic and be checked and he kept telling her that it wasn't cancer, they had did a blood test and it wasn't cancer, like all cancer's show up in your blood.  And he was just convinced that it wasn't cancer, and he kept dinking around and waiting and finally right after my diagnosis he finally went to U of M and they diagnosed it, but by then the tumor was too big and they couldn't operate and now it's too late again!  WHY won't people push for their health!  Why wait and put things off!  It makes me so angry!  We have lost so many people in our family to cancer and it could all have been prevented but they didn't have regular check ups and they didn't listen to their bodies and have things checked right away!  I am so angry and sad and scared!  I keep thinking what if mine comes back!  What if I didn't do enough!  And I don't even have a freaking doctor anymore!  How am I supposed to know for sure what to do!  All of you go back and see your BS's and Onc's and all these different doctors and have more tests done all the time and I just have my PS and all he cares or knows about are my boobs.  So what do I do now?  I know that none of us like to have tests done, but I would so rather spend an uncomfortable day here and there than to find out that I have more cancer and didn't do anything about it.  I hate this... I try to stay so positive all the time about everything but how can you be positive about this, about my dear uncle only having weeks to live.  He woke up this morning thinking that he was going in to kick cancer's ass and now he finds out that it kicked his ass.  It is just not fair!

Sorry, just had to vent and you are my people...

bcincolorado

burley:  My PS said he people don't need expensive bras post exchange and he has $10 Kohls ones in his office as try-ons to determine if TE is done and implant choices.

{{{Paula}}}}  I am so sorry.

TNgolfer

Paula,  WE ARE Your people!  You go ahead and vent.  WE ARE HERE.  I have learned that Team January is my group therapy ---  the door is always open -- someone is always out there listening and truly understanding.  I am so sorry about your uncle.  And, yes, every time someone gets diagnosed with cancer or has a recurrence all of our experiences will flood right back in.  All we have is today and right now.  All we can do is make the best of it.

The wedding pictures were great.  Your dress was awesome.  We all missed hearing from you and are glad you're back.  We are here for you. 

Haven't rescheduled my nipple appointment yet.  Will call them this week.  Went out to an employment agency and am really starting to hunt for that perfect part-time job....Paula congrats to you.  I think we all need to be busy and not have time to think.  Sorry about your doctor as well.  I know that we really get attached to those physicians and caregivers whose hands we put our lives in!  You will find another one when you need one.

Here is a chuckle for all of us----knowing that we all have somewhat different senses of humor these days:  I had an appointment with my oral surgeon today.  I was in the middle of dental work when the whole BC diagnosis came about.  So he had to hurry and place a dental implant before my bilat Mx.  Well, I finally got around to making the appointment to uncover the implant so now the dentist can make a new permanent-partial which will snap on to the two implants....anyway I went in today.  He was very concerned and wanted to know how I was doing.  He also knows my PS very well.  Anyway after he was done with the surgery this morning he was admiring his work and said "your implants are beautiful".  I knew he was talking about the dental implants because he was looking in my mouth, but I said, thank you my PS thinks so too.  His nurse said you are going to embarrass her!  He smiled and said --- did you notice that I am the one that's blushing -- she isn't!  He then added that the other ones looked just fine too! 

He said she should have the implant button.  I asked what he was talking about.  It seems the manufacturer of some of the dental implants made buttons for dentists and their staff to wear.....they simply say "Ask me about Implants".....I asked for 2 buttons and he gave them to me.  When I got home, I put one on my shirt and went over to my neighbor's....you should have seen the look on her face.  I have to tell you all that I haven't laughed this much in one day in a long time.  Hope you find 

Paula - that is a wonderful thing you did letting someone see or feel your new breasts.  I know when I was first diagnosed I met 2 other women who had BC; one who opted for prosthetics and the other who chose reconstruction....both of them were willing to do a "show and tell" and I remember how I felt as well.  It is so reassuring to actually see and touch someone who has been there....more reassuring than anything anyone can tell you!

Anyway, it's late, and I have a big day tomorrow.  Love and prayers for all my January sisters!

Marianne 

neversurrender

{{{{Paula}}}} I am sorry to hear about your uncle.  It is great to have you back, and vent to us when you need it, we are Team January!

 I report to the hospital at 7am tomorrow for my fat grafting/lipo and a few other minor items.  Should be quick, about 1 1/2.  Hopefully, this will be it until nipple time.

Never Surrender !

faithandfifty

((((((((((((((((((Paula))))))))))))))))))))))

Marianne. I think you should have worn both of the buttons, simultaneously & strategically placed for maximum impact.

So glad that you were able to find the humor in the midst of the story.

(((((((((((((((((Sally)))))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((TEAM JANUARY)))))))))))))))))))

xx00xx00xx00xx

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

***I don't have any way to reach out to Cathy. I don't have her on FB in my friends list. I think all of us who are there -- on FB, need to link up in that forum as well.

KatRNagain92

Good luck today Sally!  You'll do great! 

Paula, so sorry about your uncle.  I just go word that my sweet little cousin in Canada has cervical cancer with mets to her bladder.  If only....

Cancer Sucks.

We can do this Team January...we CAN do this!
Kat

pbebow

Thank you ladies, you're always there for me!  For us!

Sally, good luck today!  I am anxious to hear about the fat grafting!  Speedy Recovery!

Marianne, loved the story!  I want one of those implant buttons!  That would've been awesome to have for the Relay!  thanks for making me smile!  I am proud of you for making the joke!  I'm sure that is something I would've said... I am always looking for an "in" to talk about my boobs!  haha!  A few weeks ago we were at my sister's pool party and there were a bunch of us sitting around talking and laughing and having fun and as I said it was a pool party but overcast and looking like it could rain... so my brother-in-law-to-be was joking around about his grandfathers old forecasting trick and I was on one side and my sister was on the other and he pretended like he was going to grab our boobs and kind of pretend to get a reading from the weather, and my DH who is usually quite quiet at these things speaks up and says "Yeah, but you'll get a false reading from this side!"  Meaning my fake boobs.... hahah!  We all bust a gut over that one, cracked me up!  Ya just gotta laugh!  Right?  It's what keeps us going!

Hugs to all!

Paula

pbebow

I got so caught up in telling you all what I have been doing I forgot to respond to a couple of the things that I read... I am not going to go through all of the different ailments, just will say I hope that all of you are doing better and finding answers!  WE all need those!  Happy Healing to you all!

As far as the gathering for Team January, I would love to, I just hope that we can figure something out, trying to coordinate that many schedules will be difficult.  My DH is getting ready for Harvest so I know that I won't be able to count on him for anything until Thanksgiving now... I will basically be a single parent again!  Oh well, if you all figure out what works I'll try to figure it out so I can be there.

Cindy asked if anyone was planning something special, like a once in a life time trip or anything...  We are!  My DH and I are planning on a "I KICKED CANCER'S ASS AND THESE ARE MY NEW BOOBS" trip in January...  we're thinking Cancun, definitely someplace tropical and beachy and warm, hoping to have the rest of my body under control so I can wear a bikini, but if not, that's okay too.  Anyone have any tropical suggestions for us?

Bless & Release!

Paula

bcincolorado

Marianne, funny story!  Thanks for sharing.

Sally, hope you are doing well.

neversurrender

Thanks for the well wishes ladies.  Surgery went well.  He corrected a few areas for me, and then did the fat grafting/lipo.  The only part of me that is sore is where he did the lipo, but I am doing ok with tylenol.  I was so sick when I woke up in recovery, almost enough to make me rethink any future surgeries.  I know I will go back though, gotta have the nips

Kat, I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. 

Cancer Sucks.

Never Surrender !

KatRNagain92

Sally...next time, ask your surgeon for a scoplamine patch.  You put it behind your ear and it's amazing!  (it's what they give you for motion sickness)  You can also tell the Anesthesiologist that you are prone to nausea and they can add a little zofran in your cocktail mix.

I remember the soreness from the lipo goes away after about 3 weeks.  The flat belly was nice though!

Just got a bill for another 500 bucks.  My insurance increased my deductible. 

Cancer Definitely Sucks!

burley

I'll jump on the bandwagon...CANCER SUCKS!

Seriously ladies...I have no hair growth.  I'm a month out from my last chemo, and ladies on the other chemo forum are having good luck with their hair.  WTH!  I'm seriously sick of being bald, and wearing my wig to work.  It's terribly hot.

Started Tamoxifen on August 5th, and my hot flashes are definitely worse. 

Wow, I'm a whiner today...

Claire82

i'm 4 months out of chemo and I have about an inch... so sad

robinlbe

Don't EVER worry about talking about what bugs you....that is NOT whining.  That is what we are here for!  We are your listening ears.  We are your shoulders to cry on.  We are the arms to lean into.  We are your venting walls that hold it all.  PLEASE keep telling us what troubles you.....

That's why we are a team.  When you hurt, we all hurt.  When you are happy, we all are happy.  When you cry, we all cry.  When you rejoice, we all rejoice with you!

As has been said numerous times, this is a *safe* place....we hold each other up.  We pull each other up.  We've been together eight to nine months now.....it's safe to say that we're not going anywhere

 So, give us your worries, your sorrows, your griefs, your anxieties, your stresses, your whines (may we add the cheese???  just kidding!).....we can listen/read.  Of course, there's One above who can do more than just listen/read, but I can pray for you, and there are others on here who will as well.  We don't always get immediate answers, and sometimes we don't get the answers we want (just like when our kids ask us for something they want.....we don't always give them those things - sometimes they have to wait, sometimes that's not what's best...but they have to trust us).

I'm sorry I can't relate to all of your extra surgeries, but I just knew I couldn't handle anymore....and I'm sorry I can't relate to the chemo woes.  The closest I've come to that was watching my dad go through it.  Now if anyone wants to talk BMX, flat chest scars, lymphedema....I *can* relate to that....or if ya wanna talk using crutches with a broken ankle with lymphedema, we could talk circles around each other.

Or if you want to talk about the stupidity of a 19 year old son who is giving away a sure thing at a great universty where he would incur NO debt to go to a state college (where he has met with no one, but he *thinks* it's a better program) and he will come out with $15K debt just for THIS year alone....and his g'friend, who is now his fiancee, is doing the same dumb thing, just to be with hiim.....and no matter how we're trying to help them see the future - paying off college debts until they're 80 or older (well, not quite *that* bad, but close!  since they both have to go to grad school and probably beyond)....well, we could talk until the moon turns blue....

Until then, know you're all in my thoughts and prayers.....

and everytime I look down and see my hot pink cast, I think of ALL of you!  I truly *did* get the pink cast in honor of you all.....

blessings...robin

neversurrender

Kat, I will ask about the patch next time.  I talked with the anesthesiologist this time about nausea (last surgery I had slight nausea, but no throwing up) and he 'worked me up a mix' to help that this time----what ever he used, it sure didn't work !

I second Robin's wonderful post.  We are here to lean on each other.  Vent away, rant away, laugh away, cry away.....

Hugs Team January !

KatRNagain92

Kim,

Are you getting excited for Tuesday?  What size implants is he going to use?  You're going to do great and it will make the hair thing pale in comparison! 

Are you taking your tamoxifen at night?  It helps me sleep and I've lost weight on it.  Stick with it and you may find it's not so bad.

Anyway, just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and your yippee squishey's coming up!
Kat

faithandfifty

Team January.

Just spotted this over at LOOP.

They are filming a new pink-glove extravaganza in Times Square.

Next week.

Let anyone you know in NYC.

Sure wish we could all be there in person.

http://joinourloop.blogspot.com/2010/08/pink-glove-dance-video-in-times-square.html 

Check out the info.

bcincolorado

I am a big fan of the "patch" with anesthesia and the extra meds in the IV.  After my first attempt at lumpectomy, after I felt ok to leave, we made it home ok (it's only 2 1/2 miles) and I walked into the laundry room and filled the sink and the force of that made me pee myself from so many IV fluids I'd had....and my son-in-law was right behind me!  Embarrasing!  After I mentioned my experience before the 2nd one and go the patch and meds, no problem since.

Kat, Tamox helps you sleep?  I wake up at night because of hot flashes since I started Tamox.  That makes me tired in the day and not want to exercize and I've gained a ton of weight as a result and feel like nothing fits.  But not taking it is not an option for me.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. Kim, may you have a speedy recovery on Tuesday!

faithandfifty

Well it's all about me, day.

All over again.

I just got a phone call from my mom that my neice has just learned that she has cancer. The details are yet to unfold. Neice's named Kelly and is 27. My daughter Sarah is a few weeks younger and they have always considered themselves 'twins.'

Anyhow, last week Kelly had surgery that removed half of her thyroid. Apparently the pathology report has found some cancer. She will have the rest of the thyroid removed this Tuesday, pre-op tomorrow.

On the upside, she is supposedly with the country's best team of surgeon's for this procedure. They have been told that what has been found is 'early' stage. They are guessing that she will not undergo chemo, but will have onc prescriptions of some sort in addition to meds for the missing thyroid.

With this news my personal world-view goes tumbling assunder again. I am so much more at a loss, with this happening to her. She has been thru much trauma already in her brief life, that would require a book to outline, yet has emerged from each testing more devout in her faith.

They live in Augusta, GA. My parents moved to Augusta a couple of months ago. The theory was that my sister's family would be available to them my aging parents, but for this immediate chapter, my parents can be available to my sister's family.

Here's Kelly and her step-son, Skyler, who she dearly loves and receives love:

Here's a picture of the three cousins. My two daughters from L to R: Sarah, Noelle and cousin Kelly:

We are in great need of prayer for Kelly. There are bucket loads of "stressors" in our extended family and this will surely test us all. So prayers for our whole little tribe would be greatly appreciated.

And so it goes. And I don't have Saint to listen to my wracking concerns.

I have taken a happy pill. I'm not sure that atavan is up to my inquiries of heaven over this development.

Thanks as always for your support.

xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

pbebow

Oh Debbie, I am so sorry to hear about your niece!  My prayers are with her and you and the rest of the family!  Strength and Healing!!!

KatRNagain92

Greetings Team!

I hate starting out with cancer sucks, but it does.  Debbie, I'm so sorry about your niece and she's so young!  One of our marketers had thyroid cancer 5 years ago and is doing fabulous!  They took almost all of her thyroid and she has a 'smiley' scar on her neck.  Her doctor purposely put the scar in her natural neck folds so that as she ages it won't be noticeable.  She didn't have to have chemo but of course she's on thyroid replacement therapy.  I will add Kelly to my prayers.

My uncle who has colon cancer is not doing well at all...he's been battling since I have (Jan) but he's in another part of the world (British Columbia) so it's hard to support from this distance...then my cousin with the cervical cancer with mets to her bladder can't even have a hysterectomy until Sept 22 (Canada) with no foreseeable plans for chemo or bladder surgery!  She has no idea what's going on so I'm going to try and find a place like this for her to visit and educate herself. 

We went to our club fish fry last night and there's a gal there who had a partial in Oct, rads and chemo.  She said her last treatment of chemo was in March and her hair is coming in very well now...She emphathizes with you Kim...that a month after her last treatment she was thinking her hair should be cooperating more than it was.  But now it's coming in thicker and a more beautiful color than it's ever been so she's happy with her transformation.  I hope it goes that way for you soon!

Tomorrow is Tattoo Monday.  Actually, my first surgery/BMX was Jan 25 and I'm completing the reconstruction process on August 23 so just 2 days shy of 7 months.  I'm very thankful.   I did post a couple pics on Timtams site of my nipples 5 weeks out and will post again after the tattoos.  I'm not really sure what to expect except a 2 hour long procedure awake.  uggh.  I think I'll take an extra ativan and maybe an Ipod.   I'm also wearing black to work tomorrow, and I have nursing nipple shields in my purse just in case.  I go at 1:30 and probably won't go back to work after that but you never know.  Maybe a pedicure instead!  lol

bc...loving the tamoxifen!  I know I'm not in the majority there but I really really do.  My moods are more leveled out, I've lost weight and I do sleep well.  I take Melatonin with my 20mg dose at 8pm and by 9 I'm falling asleep in a chair.  Melatonin is known to enhance the efficacy of tamox so I figure it can't hurt.  (I'm an extensive metablolizer too)  I occasionally get night sweats but no hot flashes yet. 

Well, it's almost time for Mad Men...nothing like a good dose of Don Draper to forget about your troubles!

Sweet Dreams!
Kat

bcincolorado

Debbie and Kat I'm so sorry to hear about your families illness.  Cancer does stink, that's for sure.  You are all in my prayers.