January Mastectomy

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  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited April 2010

    Laura:  I am nervous about my exchange already and it isn't until June!  Unlike Paula though, I'm happy to be "droopy" since my non-surgical side is and I want to have the least amount of surgery possible.  All those needles creep me out!  I hope you get peace about your decision soon.

    Paula:  I hope you are able to get the answers you want from your insurance company and your PS.  You definitely deserve to have what you want if it is possible to achieve.  I know I saw on EC that some of the other ladies thought your exchange was great....but I know it isn't want YOU want.  You deserve that.  Especially after dealing with BC and getting this far along.  Don't give up.  I hope you have a positive day today!

    Sally:  How are you feeling?

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  • Pennyirene
    Pennyirene Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2010

    Hi there, This is Pennyirene. I was trying to find the photos that were mentioned in some messages and I dont know how to find them. So I clicked on your picture thing in the left column hoping that would lead to it. I read your profile and I cried when I read you lost your son 7 years ago. I am soooo sorry. That makes me feel ashamed to be so self-absorbed worrying about what my chest is going to look like! You have been thru something so excrusiatingly painful and I am so sorry. I worked at the Hospice as a weekend cook for five years and was a lay counselor at a couple pregnancy crisis centers for 13 years. I have gotten close to some ladies that were in the grieving process over losing a child to disease or accidental death. Do you have faith in God to turn to? My faith has been tried a lot in the last few years, and I admit I am weak. I hope you have some peace now. What was your son like? (If you dont want to talk about him, I apologize for asking)

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited April 2010

    Hi Paula, I have made an appointment for this afternoon. I think sitting face to face and just talking with him...showing him my "wish picture" once again...will help put my fears at ease.  I do know lots can be lost in translation...  Listening is a very fine art....and if the listener has any preconceived image in their head they can easily look like they are listening but if you could see behind their eyes you might see your own voice as "Hi doc...can I talk to you about blah blah blah blah blah..." and his responce "I completely understand...trust me...your going to look just the way you like..." 

    I admit your post freaked me out a bit...and I do think you look very beautiful....but I do understand it wasn't what you hoped for...and that's what you deserve to have.  I am using your experience as a cautionary tale....to be very sure to be understood and to assume nothing :)  So we should all bring pictures....nothing beats a visual aid :)

    I hope your appointment goes well today Paula and you feel like your being heard.

    Sally, I'm doing exactly what you did and I think it is the only thing that will let me relax in these pre-surgery days :)  I'm looking forward to seeing him one last time before the knife :)  He really is very nice and I do believe he will give me the best result possible......but one more face to face will help my jangled nerves ;)

    Best to everyone, to your surgeries this week, your treatments, your healing.....hope everyone gets closer to what you need...

    Laura 

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  • ariesrottie
    ariesrottie Member Posts: 260
    edited April 2010

    PAULA- {{{{{HUGS}}}}}} I am sure things will work out. We been through enough... Talk to your PS.... He is there to help you....

    Sally- I  am glad you are feeling good!

    Laura- Talk to your PS......Ask as many questions as you want...... Tell him how you feel...

    To all my January sisters and others :Wishing you a day of Happiness:

    Donna

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited April 2010

    Donna, How are you feeling?

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  • grdnslve
    grdnslve Member Posts: 310
    edited November 2010

    robin--you always have the right to reconstruction if you want.  it doesn't have to be done right away, and maybe it would help.  whatever you decide should be something that helps you to feel more whole, after all we have been through, we all deserve that.  if the foobs aren't working for you, find what will.  and bless you in your search.

    opening day of fishing season is this weekend.  it has always been such a big deal for us--houseful of people-bbq after...or i would do breakfast for everyone.  but i get treated wed, and will be at my worst on the weekend.  just am getting anxious at the thought of dealing with everyone when my 'house' is so out of control.  wishing it would rain buckets so maybe no one will come.  ugh.

    you ladies with the exchanges happening...my ps told me that by law we have the right to be restored, so make sure you are happy with the results.  fight for it if you have to.  i know we will never forget this experience, but one day my goal is to truly move past it, the fear, the selfconciousness, and get up in the morning without having a meltdown after my shower, get my clothes on & move through the day without thinking about this.

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited April 2010

    Hello Ladies,

    I have calmed down considerably since my PS appt, when I first got home I was very upset.  As you can guess, the appt didn't go well.  He basically said that he wasn't able to put anything bigger then the 450's due to the size that I was expanded to which is a crock!  I was huge!  And I know that others put in the same size or bigger, he had 200 cc's to work with.  He said that sometimes after the implants have been in there for 6 months or so that we can go back in and try for a bigger size, so we are not done trying, but I have to suck it up and wait 6 months (he didn't actually say that in those words).  Needless to say I was speechless, if I had tried to talk I would've cried and I didn't want to do that, so I didn't say anything, I'm sure that he could see that I was not happy though.  So, I came home and PM'ed Whippetmom from the Exchange City and she has already come up with another PS within a couple hours of me that specializes in reconstruction and he loves to create bodacious tata's!  So I am seriously considering going in for a consult after I heal a bit more.  She also said that she knows of a sister that had her exchange in Feb and wasn't happy with the size and had another in March, so it can be done, rather than having to wait so long.  Which means if I can get another surgery done within a month, I can be boobalicious for my sons wedding!  I know that I am getting my hopes up and I shouldn't, but at least there is a light...  My PS did say that if we chose to go back in in 6 months that insurance would cover it, but I don't know if that would work with a new PS, or if my old PS would somehow make it so that insurance wouldn't cover it, so I don't know.  But worth checking into.  I just so dread the thought of starting all over with a new dr.  But we'll see, I've at least stopped crying again.  Hope everyone is having a good day, good healing, good dr. appts....

    Bless & Release!

    Paula

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited April 2010

    Hi Paula.......

    Hmmmm.....so are you going to make an appointment with this other ps and get a second opinion....and if you get along with him maybe a new set of bodacious tata's....sounds like a pretty solid plan B :)  It seems that your current ps is willing to go for a second round, but clearly wants to put some time between your surgeries, 6 months???  Even though today wasn't perfect you did find out the doors aren't all closed on refining your results...that's great news :)  I'm glad your able to stop crying and catch your breath...

    I went to my pre surgery appointment :)  He was great...sat down....answered all my questions and concerns. Told me which implants he felt would give me the nicest result. He will use a moderate profile or moderate plus. He has them both in the surgery and places them to see which ones look the best and fill the space nicely.  He told me something funny.  He said they actually sit me up (while I'm out cold) to see how they "hang"....god that must be a pretty sight ;) I have a very wide ribcage so he is expecting to use a 500-550 to bring me to a "full B". I want to be like I used to be but perky...he told me how much breast tissue was removed and how the implants will bring me back to that size.....  Phew....I'm ok now....I'm relaxed....well....mostly relaxed ;)  This time next week I'll be coming out of anesthesia and coming home with yippee squishies!  

    Healing and comfort to all,

    Laura 

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited April 2010

    Paula, I am glad your PS is leaving the door open for you.  I think I might be tempted to go see the other PS, just to get his opinion and see what he thought he could do and when.  I know you would like to be boobalicious for your son's wedding.  Smile

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited April 2010

    Laura,

    Glad it all went well for you today.  It really made me feel more comfortable to have that last appt before my surgery.  I had heard that they sit people up in recon surgery...does give quite a visual ;)

    Brenda, Lola, Kim and Donna,  How are you all feeling? 

    Debbie, will you be in Columbus for the May 15th Race for the Cure?  My family has created a team and we will all be walking.

    {{{{hugs Team January}}}}

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited April 2010

    Laura, I'm so glad that your appt went well.  My PS told my DH that they sat me up during surgery too, must be standard.  I have the moderate plus, so you can see kind of what shape they will be...  I'm so happy for you that you are feeling better! 

    My PS did leave the door open, but I've kind of lost faith in him.  I  feel that he lied to me by not coming out and telling me that he wasn't going to go as big as I wanted, and just letting me go in thinking I was getting what I wanted.  Also, on his website he has pictures of some of his reconstructions and after seeing them I almost tried to find another PS because all of his results looked to me like very natural droopy breasts, but I asked him about it and he said it was because most of those were tram flap surgeries that give a more natural result.  I am beginning to think that is the only kind of results he does.  Although I have seen pix of his augmentations and he can do those, just apparently not on reconstruction patients.  Anyway, I am seriously considering going to at least have a consult with this other PS, can't hurt to go and talk to him, right?  Thanks so much for your caring, you ladies have been great, thanks for putting up with me!

    Paula

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited April 2010

    Please go to this link and vote for Linda... first watch the video and you'll understand why she deserves this mommy makeover!  It really puts it into perspective.  Makes feel ashamed that I have been going on and on about my outcome, I feel very blessed that I am cancer free and that I have been able to have reconstruction.  Please do this!

    Paula

    http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/72/topic/751050?page=2

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited April 2010

    Popping thru to throw sunshine and encouragement around our team page.

    We flew in from Baltimore yesterday.

    Did a school downtown, 12 classes for children w/special needs peeps.

    Sally, waved in your direction on the way home, at the 256 interchange. Yes. I do plan to walk the Komen, tho I haven't gotten my procrastinating behind registered just yet. We must meet up -- for sure!! If not before then, at least on that occasion. Plan to stay till the concluding 'program.' All of the survivors meet inside the rotunda of the state house. It is soooooooo amazing to have everyone gathered in that special place. (It echos.) There are little speeches/prayers/encouragement. My favorite part last year, was when they had each of us choose a word to say out loud at the same time. That's when the 'echo' part was soooooo cool.

    We leave at dawn for Chicago. I have two library 'concerts' in the morning, Wed and then a two hour teacher training that evening. We get to stay with a very dear friend -- who concocted this whole thing for me. It all sounded great about 8 or 10 months ago. My fanny is tuckered, let me tell you. Baptism by fire, or some such variation.

    HUGS to each and all in need.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

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  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited April 2010

    Sally-I'm alive.  I've been reading and following along, just haven't posted anything lately.

    Wasn't able to get my chemo last week because my white blood cell count was so low...they're going to retest this week and hopefully I'll be able to get it done.

    Right now I'm recovering from a fall-I'm bruised on one entire side of my body from midback to ankle.  Nice, huh?  I guess you bruise easier while on chemo?  Dunno, but it's not pretty.

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  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited April 2010

    burley:  Sorry you are having a hard time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Laura:  It sounds like your appointment went well.  Interesting to know about sitting you up in surgery!  My PS didn't say anything about it, but it might freak me out if he did, I don't know. 

    Sally:  Hope you are doing well and draining less!

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  • binga
    binga Member Posts: 140
    edited April 2010

    Hi everyone,

    I am home recovering from the exchange yesterday.  I feel ok so far.  I am having a little bit of pain but it may be mostly from this tight bandage they have on me.  I go see my PS today at 1:40 so I guess I will see what they look like then.

    Guess that's enough for know.  Gotta get off of here before the Percocet starts doing the typing!

    Becky 

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  • ariesrottie
    ariesrottie Member Posts: 260
    edited April 2010

    Morning Girls! How are all my January Sisters..?? I have been busy with drs. appt, company (too much) if you ask me....etc.. I went for my blood work yesterday... Full speed ahead for next Thursdays LAST treatment......YES!!!!! I'm scared... It an end of this chemo journey. But I am worried about the BRCA results and when the ovaries come out that I might need more treatments........That's just the way things go for me.... I am WORRIED....The good thing is that I feel great and I will for 1 more week.....

    Paula- I am sorry that you are not happy... Please go get another opinion...If that is what is going to make you happy.... Smile....You will be good for the wedding.

    Sally- I'm here... Just been busy with family and this waiting period is horrible.....I am hanging in there. How is your recovery????I am glad your family joined  a team.... Thats the spirit..... In my thoughts and prayers...

    The phone is ringing and it is for me.....Happy day every9one....

    Courage and strength.

    TTUL,

    Donna

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited April 2010

    Dateline Chicago.

    Safe arrival. Fun on the horizon.

    Sending encouragement to those in need.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited April 2010
    I have a question.... the day after my surgery I started feeling a pain on both sides of my stomach, it felt kind of bruised and I feel swolen on my whole belly (could be I'm just getting fatter, but feels different)... anyway, it feels bruised but there is no bruising and I'm sure that he didn't do any fat grafting or anything like that. There are no marks, just the feeling that it is bruised. Is this normal? Any thoughts on what it could be? It hasn't gotten any better since then either. And, my rigth foot keeps cramping up, like bad. I was driving down the road today and it got so bad I almost had to pull over. It is doing it again right now, and there is no just walking it off, it is just there until it's not. I don't normally have cramping like that, could this be related to surgery or just a coincidence. Does anyone have any remedies for cramps, like charlie horses only in the foot? This is driving me nuts!

    Paula

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  • binga
    binga Member Posts: 140
    edited April 2010

    Paula,

    Don't know about the cramps but I feel like my abdomen is swollen.  It definitely was not like this yesterday before the exchange.  It does feel tender in some areas.  I have been itching all night and all day and have developed a rash on my stomach and back.  My PS said it was probably from the Hibiclens but I am not sure I buy that because my legs and arms are itching too.  I am going to take Benadryl for the next couple of days and see if it goes away.  I am tired of scratching:(

    I got the bandages off today and I am still trying to get used to my new look.  I think I am happy with the results.  I will try to post pics soon.  Just waiting to see how they change in the next few weeks. They really do feel better than the expanders already so I am very happy with that.

     Becky

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited April 2010

    Oh Becky, I totally agree with you about that, they feel so much better than the expanders.  I have to say to everyone, that mine look better everyday, I'm still not sure that they're going to be what I wanted so I might end up having them changed out eventually, but either they are growing on me or they are changing daily.  My DH agrees that they are changing.  It is a difficult adjustment, as much as we hate the TE's, it's hard to adjust to a different look afterwards.  Sorry about all of your itching, that is crazy.  Seems there is something new every day.  Today I noticed that under my right boob it is swollen and seems a little hard and it definitely hurts.  I went and bought a bigger sports bra to wear today because I feel like my other one was cutting into it, but it's right where the bra goes around the rib cage.  I had my DH come and look and I took pix so that I can compare to see if it gets worse or better or stays the same.  If it starts to get worse I'll call PS, but it isn't red (other than the marks from wearing the bra 24/7), so that's good.  Just have to keep an eye on everything for a while (forever?)...  Well, I'm off to cheat and take the bra off for a little while before bed, it is driving me nuts.  I went 4 months with no bra and now I have to wear it all the time!  Auuugghhghg!!!!

    Paula

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  • KatRNagain92
    KatRNagain92 Member Posts: 522
    edited April 2010

    Evening gals,

    Paula Sorry about the charlie horses...you're probably so stressed you're not eating or drinking enough ...plus you've been crying a lot so I bet your a little dehyrdated...and with dehydration comes low levels of electrolytes and minerals...that imbalance is what brings on the muscle cramps.  So try and eat healthy now...especially for your incision/nipples! healing and drink plenty of fluids! :)   You're going to be great!

    Laura, I'm so excited for you and your date!  I'm very happy you're on a good plane with your PS. I think the size he has picked for you is going to be perfect for your frame and your desires of what you want for you.

    I have a 'tenative date too!'  May 13! :)  I called the scheduler and the new PS already told her everything we discussed so yippee!  I don't want to be bigger than 550. I've been really self conscious here lately with the big coconuts...when I get overfilled to 620 on Friday I think I'll have to go into hiding and have more home office days!   The reason I say tentative is because my incision intregrity didn't take to the 100cc fill last Friday as well as I hoped...they're fine...just red.  So keep your fingers crossed for me that in the event I can't get a fill this Friday, I will the following and then I'll be good to go! 

    Also has anyone experienced this after a fill? (5 days after the fill?) intense itching!  There is no rash...it's inside...I think it must be the skin stretching and that's what itches.  Makes sense to me so I guess I'll go with it.

    Donna...I'm praying for your BRCA results and Sally I hope your abd incision is doing better and your in less pain.

    Faithy...thanks for all you do out there!  You're an inspiration.

    To all of Team January....Sweet dreams!
    Kat

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited April 2010

    Hey Kat, good to hear from you!   I've never had the inside itching after fills or at all, but I think I've read others complaining about it, so I'd go with that!  Feels so good to be out of the bra!!!  Good advice about the fluids, I've been trying to drink a lot... went for a walk today and just about didn't make it to a bathroom in time that's how much I've been drinking! 

    Have a good night ladies!

    Paula

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited April 2010

    Oh, and great news about your date!!!  I'll be praying that your incisions hold for the next fill!!!!  You go girl!!!  Did you get your new Hooters shirt yet?

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited April 2010

    Kim, good to hear from you.  I hope your counts straighten out and you are able to proceed.  That must have been quite a fall !

    Lola, Good luck tomorrow.

    Donna, I am praying for negative results for you. 

    Kat - congrats on your date

    Debbie - we will have to meet at the race (if not sooner). 

    Paula, I am glad things are looking a little better for you. 

    Becky, I hope you quit itching.  I had terrible itching the first 2 days after surgery, but it has subsided.

    I went to PS today and he removed one of my abdomen drains.  The other will stay for at least another week :(  It looks like everything is healing nicely, so I just need to be patient.  I'm not as sore as I was, it is just uncomfortable certain ways I sit or stand.  I can't drive yet either.  That has to do with the ab incision and sitting up straight....

    I find I am not nearly as good of a patient this time as I was after my BMX.  Then I was prepared for no activity, no driving, pain, trouble sleeping, binder, and drains.  This time, I think I glossed over everything and didn't prepare myself as well, so I am kind of irritated with the restrictions.  Oh well, it won't last long.  

    DH is working my nerves really badly right now.  He told me after surgery, while we were in the recovery room (more tone than actual words)"I'm really getting sick of this stuff"..then a little later..."You aren't having any more surgeries, this is it."   He must have thought about that some, because later he said, "well, one more surgery - for nipples - but nothing else"  (he really wants me to get nipples).  Then he complained to my sister "She doesn't do anything"  this was two days after surgery and he was pouting because he had to drive DD to friends house.  He is such a baby right now.  He whines about dishes, laundry, driving DDs around.  Who the heck does he think has been doing all of this for the past 20 years !!!!   Fortunatley, he left today and will be gone all week.  I need the break from him.

    Gee, I am noticing a theme for me.  I appear to be annoyed or irritated by most things right now. Tongue out

    Sorry for the long rant this evening.  I will be back with a dose of sunshine and love tomorrow :)

    Sleep well Team January !

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited April 2010

    Oh Sally, if he's acting like that, you deserve to vent and rant!!!  Men!!!  I can't believe that he said that to you!  I have to say that my DH has deserted me also!  He seems to think that this surgery is no big deal, which it's not as bad (and not as bad as yours by far), but it's still surgery, I was still under for 3 hours, I still have stiches and lots of bruises.  I still have restrictions, admittedly, I have told him the pain isn't bad, but that doesn't mean that I free reign to do everything.  Don't want to tear out these stitches!  Anyway, tell him to kiss off!

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited April 2010
    Just a quick note..I am experiencing "cording" from my right breast through my right elbow.  I went on line and found a decent article about how to possibly resolve this issue over time.  If anyone else experiences cording you may find this article helpful :)http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3946/is_200401/ai_n9370189/?tag=artBody;col1Strength and healing to all....back later :)Laura 
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  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited April 2010

    jizo:  thanks for sharing that article!  I bookmarked it in case that happens after my exchange.

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited April 2010

    Hi Ladies :)

    Becky I get horrible all over itchy when I take pain meds.  If I need them again after my exchange the doc told me to take benedryl an hour before the pain med and it should block the reaction.  It took a couple of days to stop itching after I took the pain meds.  For me it was anything with codeine in it....which is most of them :( Gawd I thought I would scratch my skin right off...

    Paula and Becky hope your new look takes the shape your hoping for more and more with each day :)

    CONGRATULATIONS Kat!!! So glad you have a date....nothing lifts the spirits more.  Hope your final fill goes smoothly :)

    Sally so glad your doing well...even if DH is "working your last nerve" ;)  The idea of restrictions is something I'm not looking forward to either.  I am just finally getting back to my regular life...able to work in the garden, carry bags of mulch, rake, dig...ah well....it will come back again :) patience...patience...  

    This week I'm picking up all the things I don't want to run out of next week...TP, kitty litter, dog food, anything heavy or cumbersome.  I'm very lucky with DH....he's better caretaker than I ever imagined.....but I hate being dependent.  This has been a lesson in giving up control and allowing him to do things for me. I realize how lucky I am.

    Wishing everyone healing and strength,

    Laura 

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  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited April 2010

    Oh Sally, I would so like to take my irritation out on your husband! (haha)  What in the world was he thinking, saying those things to you?  Granted, my husband may think them, but if he ever said them?  LOOK OUT!  Of course, I'm very irritable right now from the chemo (I'm assuming.)  That and lack of sleep.  I look worn out all the time, and aren't I lucky when some people actually tell me!  Nice!  I'm glad you have a little break from him.

    Paula-I'm glad you're feeling a little better about the look.  I was started to really worry there.  I hope you continue to like them more and more each day.

    I'm off to a chorus concert for my daughter.  Should be interesting to see a bunch of parents I haven't seen in quite a while.  Wonder if they'll notice my hair is a wig...

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