The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

barbe1958

Sherry, that SUX!!! I'm so sorry to hear you were suffering without having you in my prayers. You are there now....

chabba

And in mine Sherry!

Anonymous

Sherry:  My best to you !  You are not alone.... ((())))

daisylor

I have one to share. We got a flyer today at work that there's a 401k meeting tomorrow. So one of my co-workers sees it laying on my desk and says to me "You planning on staying?" I said, "Yeah, I'm gonna keep working here, I like it". He goes, "No, I mean I wasn't sure if you were checking out or not." Basically meaning he wasn't sure if I was going to die from cancer. This was his version of a funny joke.  Needless to say i didn't laugh.

Scottiee1

Daisylor.....as the gals say....there's no cure for stupid....what a moron!!!!!...sorry you have to work with such a jerk.

Kay_G

OMG what a terrible idea for a joke. Not funny at all IMO.

blackcat2012

Former friend told me last week that my neighbors will probably take their home off the market once they hear I have cancer so that they won't have to move as they will be expecting me to die shortly....(so far diagnosed with DCIS and LCIS)

Oh and they took down their for sale sign earlier today.

Kay_G

I am just amazed at the callousness and nastiness of some people. Get even with them blackcat, live and thrive!!!! (((Hugs)))

camillegal

OMG the things people say stil amaze me after all this time--someone actuay comes up with new stuff that's ever dumber than before.

Reality (((HUGS))) I'm sorry u'r having such a rough time.

Anonymous

blackcat 201, WOW!!!!! Your story sounds very similar to mine, but with a few things swapped around. Mine is SOOO "out there" and shameful I havent been able to post about it. Theres been legal issues. Im so sorry you've had to endure that. Hugs.

rlwh

I have  also had people say a lot of dumb things to me too. Here are just a few:

Aren't you glad you are half through? (when I have only just had surgery and have at least 6 weeks of radiation and 5 years of aromatase inhibitor to go)

You look so good. You don't look sick.  Well, I am. Makeup does wonders.

You are going to be just fine. Yeah, except for the fact that I will worry for the rest of my life about it coming back.

Also, the people looking at your chest trying to figure out if you have had a Mx or Lx.

The last person that said "I know how you feel" got this reply from me: "Oh, have you had breast cancer?"

No one knows unless they walk in our shoes. I am awaiting my appt with medical oncologist to find out if I get radiation, or R and chemo.  The surgeon thinks probably  just radiation, but that is not his call.

Once you have BC, you may live, but it never really leaves you.

I also hate the way doctors talk about increasing your chances of survival.  It makes me feel like I am going to die tomorrow. Then the next minute, they will tell you they don't think it is going to come back for 20 years, but if it does, they can do a Mx and take care of it.

Fearlessfoot

I hate everyone saying, "It will all be fine."  "Everything is going to be all right."  "It will all be okay."  "You will get through this." "You are going to be fine."  Even my DH is constantly spewing this nonsense.  He can't know the future and it's promoting a false sense of security and doesn't help me at all. 

What I want to hear is, "I'll stay with you through thick and thin. I'll love you no matter what.  Your life and health are important and I will do everything I can to help you.  Even if things go wrong, I will be here for you.  Even if the worst happens, your love will go on."   

Scottiee1

I went for a check-up with my RO on Thursday and checking in, the receptionist asked me..."who is your next of kin"....WTF.....do they know something I don't know????....I was so taken aback, I snapped at her and said why don't you have all that info on file???....I know they have to ask these questions, but it just freaked me out. To add to the I jury, I was kept waiting for almost two hours!!!!!!

camillegal

Scottie 2 hrs.??? Oh that's awful.It's bad enough ti just go to the Drs. let alone wait. I just hate going anymore at all. It's funny tho when all this started I always went to mytests and Drs app'tment and chemos alone. Now before this I couldn't even visit anyone in a hospital cuz I would et dizzy and hyperventilate. Just walking in, I'd start shaking. Now I walk around like an old vet--like a very old vet. LOL I wish I could get used to something useful to do, but again this crazy thing called LAZY comes into play.

barbe1958

Day, LOVE your new picture!!!

dani_katze141914

The dumpest thing that I ever heard, was the one I hear of one of my boss (I assist two bosses) who is a physician! When I came back of one of my sick leaf (after mastectomy) he said: "When you left people that replaced you was a disaster, so I prefer you to die or to tell me if you will stay, so that I can look for someone else". I was in shocked and the only thing I replied was: "It's up to my doc...". But then I cried all the way back home. Then I went to my doc and asked him to extend the sick leaf, so he did...

michellej1980

That warrants a formal complaint! How could anyone say that?!



One of my colleagues at the university where I work ( she also used to be one of my lecturers) said that she was relieved when I told her about my diagnosis because she was worried that I had got another job and was leaving. Which I guess was nice in a way but FFS? She is generally an idiot but that was shocking. You know, I could die, and even if I do live another 50 years I will spend it worrying but you know, as long as you're okay...

camillegal

I'm sorry ladies--but I'm laughing at the 2 stupidest things I've heard today. Geeze people are idiots. and I'm laughing at them.

kyliet

Fearlessfoo - I love what you wrote. I hope you don't mind but I cut and pasted it and have printed it to give to my family and friends. x

IsThisForReal

From a lady who was 'trying to be supportive'?

'Well, your in the lineup while I'm not, so you'll just have to deal with this the best way you can'....

So last year she was diagnosed and is now IN the lineup...so she says to me,

'Oh Thank God I wasn't HER2 positive!'

Yeah honey, well, there is probably more treatment for me because I am...is what I felt like saying.  

Ughhhh, so these really stupid remarks (or was she being catty), are not just from people who haven't been where we are...unfortunately.

Scottiee1

I keep repeating ladies....there's no cure for stupid....let it all go and take a deep breath...

I know it's easy to get angry at these morons but I think it's not good for our health.

My Chinese student, a western trained doctor, says thinking good thoughts and getting rid of negativity goes a long way when it comes to C.....



I hope everyone has a "moron free" holiday....deep breaths ladies.

camillegal

I like that Scottie--I remember when the Onc was doing all this talking about my own cancer and I never really listened but I'd hear a word here and there and it was gloom and doom so I was ignoring it all--then I heard Her+ and I said Thank God I've ot something good going on. Her eyes rolled andshe said  didn't think u were listening. So I guess I stay stupid things too. LOL I usually do.

NaniAlice

We all say dum things. Sometimes it's from not having enough information, or not understanding the whole situation. For example, in September, I broke my femur as a result of bone mets. ( the bc has spread to my bone, and I am now stage IV). I have had more than one person say " at lease they found it early". Hello, stage IV! Found it early? Earlier than what? The autopsy.



Oh well, I'm still here so.....just let it go.



Thankful for each sunrise, praying for many more.



Hugs from Alice

camillegal

Alice that was a great comeback even if only thinking of it---good attitude. Thos sorry about the mets.

camillegal

Kay_G

Merry Christmas! And I second that, what a great comeback Alice, glad you got to share it here where we all "get" it.

Scottiee1

Happy moron free holiday to all you beautiful gals😃

NativeMainer

Merry Christmas and a dumb-things-said-free day to all!

camillegal

I ditto that NM but come on if I;m around it won;t be that dumb free.

Scottiee1

Camilegal....we are entitled to be dumb....we've earned it......just not others.....lol