The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

sas-schatzi

Orangemat--------glad Deborah was able to help you. Her knowledge is amazing.

Sandeeonherown

D4hope- hug received...I realie I should be graeful that there are drugs being offered to me for breast cancer...I realize that there are a number of women on these threads that do not have that option right now...I just have no idea what to do..my crystal ball is not working right now so I hav eno idea which option is best...or even good...at least there are options, hmm? I will add it to my list of things to be grateful for

Shrek4

Sandee,

I am on Toprol for my heart rate (due to hyper thyroid), and my onc first had me try Arimidex. My heart rate and blood pressure went sky-rocketing and I had to stop it. I am on Aromasin now and doing great! Maybe you should talk to your  onc to switch you to Aromasin? I also take 91 mg daily of Aspirin to avoid blood clots, even if Aromasin has the lowest risk in this area.

treeskier

This one wasn't said to me but I can't resist sharing it.

My sister (in Nova Scotia, Sandee!) realized within a year after BC that she needed to get rid of her DH, who had been mean to her for ages. He's been fighting separation ever since and recently told her he had figured out what went wrong in their marriage. Wait for it....

It's her CHEMO BRAIN that destroyed her capacity for empathy, causing her to want a divorce! Nothing to do with his abusive habits at ALL! 

Gotta navigate over to the Bonfire of the Goddesses and throw him in.

sas-schatzi

Treeskier----------the sob is likely loooking for alimony or a reason to avoid it------Yes your right he needs to go into the fire-------let him burn bright

momoftwo526

Treeskier: 

Oh the inhumanity! (note my sarcasm!)  Good for your sister for throwing the sob out!  I know it takes a lot of courage.  Although it was many years ago now, when I kicked out my ex, he pleaded with me to wait until I finished paying for his masters degree!  When I said I wasn't going to pay anymore (let his girlfriend do it), he said, ok you might as well file.  Then in court, he pretended to be all contrite and the judge awarded him a cash settlement!  The nerve of some men. 

Phyllis

NativeMainer

OK, not really the dumbest thing said to me, and really my own fault, but at my high school reunion this weekend I ran into an old freind, we were catching up with each other, and I asked her who she was wearing the pink ribbon pin for.  She immediately launched into a detailed monologue about how her aunt beet breast cancer, then it came back and spread, and the docs said they could treat it aggressivlely but it would only a few months to her life and she chose to do nothing and how my firend was "honored" to be asked to come and take care of her during her last few weeks of life and then to officiate at her service.  And THEN she goes on to list everyone in the class that has died or been diagnosed with cancer.  Not just bc, but any cancer.  After a bit I realized that she had no idea I had been diagnosed with bc.  I just smiled to myself and kept saying to myself, people DO live after diagnosis!  But she was so thoroughly enjoying the morbiditity of her story that I just went and got a drink and moved on.  I can't think how many times I her her talling part of that story as I walked past her table! 

Would you beleive that my having had bc NEVER came up all evening?  Except for listening to  my friend's monologue, I never even thought about it.  And yes, many people there know.  I felt so NORMAL!  It was WONDERFUL!  

Leah_S

NM, hooray for feeling normal!

It's good you didn't tell Ms. Blabbermouth that you'd had BC. It wouldn't have shut her up, it would have just added you to her repertoire.

Leah

NativeMainer

Too true!  Being an old friend I knew that's what would happen.  Just walking away has always been the best way to handle her when she gets stuck in a monologue. 

Elizabeth1889

Native Maine:  I am so glad you had a good time at the reunion.  I know what you mean about people enjoying telling morbid stories. Last month, DH and I spent a week in Hawaii to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary.  I was swimming in the hotel pool feeling normal for the first time in so long, but whenever I passed someone, I heard them discussing medical issues.  I guess they were "enjoying poor health."

barbe1958

One night when my DH and I started discussing our bowel movements we suddenly looked at each other in horror and then split a gut laughing!!! It DOES happen as you get older!!

orangemat

NativeMainer, good for you!

3jaysmom

barbe; we've HAD moments like that, also.. Murs mother keeps comparing me, to her...she's 87!!!! guess im NOT holding up as well as i thought i was!!!........3jays

sas-schatzi

Nm Ditto Horray for a good reunion. The old dear friend has a screw loose. It's almost like Munchosen's By Proxy. I wondered has there been a word coined for people like her?

chabba

Would ghoul fit?

sas-schatzi

Chabba ----good one!!!

NativeMainer

LOL! 

Sandeeonherown

nativemainer- oh my!!!! glad it all felt normal!!! YAY! and good for you for biting your tongue..must have been tough

Ellen-....all I can say is ....good grief...!

Day- thanks for the information. I am going ot meet with my naturopath on thursday and my Gp and will get the read on heart rate etc. My blood pressure has always been fine. Even during the heart attack in March it was 112/70....but I am on the five drug cocktail they give you when you have a heart attack (asprin and pills for cholesterol and heart rate and plavix for the stent)...so the heart thing should be ok...I have just managed to get myself twisted with fear...much better in a crisis than when it comes to having tomake a big decision and jump off the diving board

riley702

My 'BC junkies' are the type to never contact me outside of work, but they're always prefacing comments with, "A friend of mine has BC and..." and "I hope you don't mind, but I told someone about you having BC" Well, I guess if I did mind, it's too late now. People are weird.

3jaysmom

the bus is wayyyyoverdue...throw em all in, ladies...3jays

3jaysmom

3jays...

riley702

Thank you!

momoftwo526

Riley:  OMG, I get that one too! 

Phyllis

riley702

Annoying, isn't it?

Kay_G

Yes it truly is.  To me any way.

Momhelper

I don't have BC, my mom just got diagnosed. I am still 3000 km away making organizing my trip to be with her for surgery, come back, work for two weeks, go back for chemo, and God knows what after that. And I am already FED UP WITH MY WELL MEANING FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot listen to another comment such as:

1. it is no big deal these days, medicine has gone a long way! 
2. You have to be strong!
3. Don't cry, it will be all OK! 

I am going nuts. How do you tell them to shut up? I only want a hug and help me with logistics. They all want to be psychologist. I hate pep talks.

tinkertude

momhelper.. sorry to hear about your mom!.. Yes people are idoiots and try to give all the "advice they can" I believe they are "well meaning" but really not what is needed. I still find it annoying but just smile and say thanks. The fact is it is a big deal to the person diagnosed and the people around them, You feel how you need to feel for your mom, the most imprtant thing you  can do for her is just be there, wether you are crying, scared sad, just being there is the best.. best wishes to you and your mom Oh it wasnt meant as a pep talk I have kids and thats all I wanted from them, so just inside info

Kay_G

Saw my onc yesterday before Herceptin.  Have finished chemo (other than Herceptin), surgery and am in the middle of rads.  She asked me, so how is your relationship with your husband?  Really, is this on the new question list they ask?  I just started laughing.  Then she asked me what was funny.  YOU!!  I was so thrown by the comment.

Momhelper

Thanks tinkertud!

Tatina123

Okay, here's a stupid comment for this thread.



A person asked me this question after I decided to have a BMX and reconstruction: "is your husband going to be okay with this? What about the scars he's going to have to look at?"



I managed to calmly say that my husband married me and not my boobs.



My scars will fade in time, but this person's stupidity will surely grow brighter with each passing day!