The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

annettek

I think we just all try to do the best we can. It is just hilarious when people thnk you can "give away" a child you have given your all to for so many years and say Ok that's it- I am done. Silly people. I can't figure them out nor do I spend much time trying to any longer.  They can just bite me or help a mom out in a positive way and offer to babysit when she is about to pass out from exhaustion- but no, that would make too much sense:) My mom has been by my side helping in this from day 1, on the other hand, my sister has "babysat" exactly 1 time (and I gave her money for the lunch) she called me after two hours and asked how long would my husband and I be. Now mind you, my kiddo adores his aunt and would never act up in front of her and never has in 24 years.... Hubby set me straight and said no expectations from others are the best. He was and is right. but it still ticks me since she is big on love love love love....YET- when the houston PBS station did a show on Russ (about his impact on the other kids in the award winning high school choir--a true miracle as he does not sing like we think of singing and orginally the choir teacher said NO WAY to a kid with autism in her group-it took a week to schedule him out and by that time the kids insisted he STAY....) sister wanted in on the camera action and all the work SHE had done...nada...it was about a family who didn't know any better than to just keep on trying and some very wonderful teenagers who found out they were better people than they knew..

sas-schatzi

Annetek what a great story about your son and the rest of the kids. Are you sure your sister wasn't adopted?

hdangelbaby

ha! i had a friend once, when this all started say "you don't have cancer"

uh, really? cause i swear that biopsy i had just happened,

i swear that surgery just happened, and chemo happened too!!!!

weirdos....

Sandeeonherown

Annette- was the choir ever recorded? I would love to see it if it was!

hangelbaby- maybe showing them an xray would convince them? seriously....think you would know, hmm?

hdangelbaby

i still laugh about it today. i just think "what???? the ???? f**k??????"

Sandeeonherown

Yep...all you can do is laugh....people say weird weird things.....I think they think they are being helpful....but maybe that is me putting a positive spin on things.....WTF indeed!

annettek

I tease my sister about her being adopted all the time....

I am looking for the CD Sandee.- in the move to ur new house I can't find sh&t hahaha..when I find it- I will burn you a copy and mail it to you. The segment won an emmy here in Texas for the producers-it was neat.

slinky

I am putting myself in this category.  Since finding out about my sister's cancer, I keep saying the most stupid things to her.  I keep kicking myself for saying such dumb things - I should know better! Telling her about so and so who survived stage 4 cancer, telling her to "have fun" tonight even though she was crying 3/4 of the day.  I went on to explain that I didn't mean to have fun, but to baby herself and be gentle to herself...get a massage or treat herself to something before she starts chemo.  I feel like a moron of a sister!

hdangelbaby

slinky, there are way worse things to say to someone. kudos for you to coming to the thread and reading about it!! that is a step in the right direction!!!!!!

3jaysmom

slinky: welcome.. we ALL say stupid things!!i decided long ago,that the good friend was the one who realized how stupid what she said was, and said so; she apologizes, you accept it, and you still love each other, and go on>>

   i wanted to tell you ladies the reason i deleted my post, and don't write like that often is, 'cause if ya google 3jaysmom it goes RIGHT to BCO.. and what ya write! so i don't, or i don't keep it up long for proof from evildoers.. and there ARE some, as we all know!!

   i love you guys for your honesty, im just not that brave. been hurt too many times. i hate  FB too!!!3jays

tinkertude

3jays!!! you ARE brave... when it counts the most! hugs!

sas-schatzi

Insomniacs is open for business

3jaysmom

thought we could A?LL use a bus tonite!!!3jays

hdangelbaby

i never get sick of the bus!!!

NativeMainer

Slinky--all of us say stupid things, too. At least for me part of the deal is how the stupid thing is said and the relationship I have with the person saying it.  When someone I know cares about me and says something hurtful out of ignorance or not being able to find a different way to say what they mean I'm not hurt as much.  I don't let on that I'm hurt.  I try to take it for what was intended, I think we all do that.  I bet your sister isn't so hurt by what you say since you obviously are sensitive to the fact that she may take things differently than you mean, and you hang in there and explain or talk about what you meant.  The fact that you have come here to educate yourself is a huge sign that you are not hurting your sister with what you say very much, and are working it through when it does happen.  I applaud you for your efforts.   Your sister is lucky to have you by her side. 

Anonymous

I think those people would do what they recommended to u Annette : throw the baby

Out with the bath water

Sandeeonherown

annette- brilliant!!! I woiud love to see it!Today I met with the studnet I was telling you about and haad a delightful time getting to know him. I have decided to teach him myself for at least the first few weeks....a gift to myself and t help him adjust and so I can assess him...but really...a gift to myself.

slinky- maybe you should share this site with your sister too:) We all say stupid things accidentally..this is just where we purge them!

annettek

ah Slinky- we all are certainly guilty of it at times...you were honest enough to admit it:)

Sandee- you are a KEEPER:)

Luan- you are so right...one of those folks, who honestly appears to be a intelligent accomplished woman...said that if a house was burning she would rescue a puppy before a baby. I asked why on earth would she even say something like that? or think it? She said it is her true feelings...she doesn't like kids...um, ok, but to use that scenario to get your point across? Very odd.

molly52

Slinky - one of my sisters has said worse things to me.  I don't hate her, I just think she says objectional things. (lol)

If you say something and later regret it - just apologize.  Tell her if you feel uncomfortable.  It's okay to feel uncomfortable when someone you love is sick.

annettek

amen Molly:)

slinky

I guess I am so nervous that I will say something wrong, that I do say something wrong! Iwas trying hard not to say things that people said to me that were questionable.



My sister knows I love her - I will explain myself to her the next time I talk to her.

RangerMom

Thank you all. I got a few good belly laughs from here. Yes, ive heard all these  and I'm only dx bout a month! Whew! I've got to learn to let these comments slide right off. I do pretty good by realizing they don't know what to say and think they are bieng encouraging. i was a hospice volunteer many years back and learned this in training that people just don't know what to say and we learned to not do the same. Thanks for the laughs. When I get a really good one or one new to these posts, I'll add it. 

Valgal

O.K. My DH says some of the dumbest things to me such as: Imagine this in a loud deep resonating voice : "Well you're not gonna die for C's sake" So glad you noticed bozobrain. Maybe I'd live longer without your insightful comments, or perhaps we can take one of your bal_s and stick it with needles and smash it between some plastic paddles and then take out a few lymph nodes and lumps and see how you feel! And don't forget the smashing starts all over in 6 months.

3jaysmom

just checking in here. having a bad night.. thanks for the belly laughs, ladies.. its' tears; or laughs here, or tears AND laughs!!!      3jays

Leah_S

Oh, 3jays, you are so right - it's tears and laughs all through this BC thing.

Slinky - just the fact that you are on this board shows your concern for your sister. If you say the wrong thing but explain it to her I'm sure she'll understand. And cut yourself some slack - you've talked to her about Stage IV people who have lived. There are too many people out there who are quick to tell us about all the ones who've died.

Leah

sas-schatzi

testing--- i'm being blocked on 2 other sites- If ican come back here and see you thats the test thanks sas

sas-schatzi

Okay thanks it worked sas

bookart

Sas - you're not being blocked on insomniacs - just technical difficulties, at least that's the post I read from the moderators.

Cyborg

I was getting my hair done/cut before my chemo starts and I was telling my hairdresser that I was going in for chemo for my BC and his assistant asked me, "How did you get it?" I really didn't k ow what to say other than say, "I don't know... Anyone can get it." Durrrrrr.



Girls, there is always more.

anumacha

I was considered rude because I wouldnt talk to a GF when I was on an operating table having my mastectomy, because she wanted my sis to take her shopping since I was going to be there at the hospital any way. I t gets better she had her 80 yr old mother call me to yell at me the next morning because I wouldnt talk to her daughter. I just dont talk to them and wrote the dtr who kept texting me to call that I would contact her when I felt up to talking and not to continue calling and telling everyone we were fighting. There was no fight just idiots at work!

My other friend who is out of town said "just snap out of it you are having a bad day!" The last letter was "I wish you'd snap out of it and come back to me." This is a male that keeps proposing marriage...he is totally not getting the picture here that every day is a gift of life for each and every one of us.  He acts like I am having a bad day...yes I have those but for other reasons related to the BC.

I have two male buddies that actually did research to help with side effects, pain and getting me back on my feet. They only tease me because my breasts were named trixie and dixie, now trixie is much smaller and dixie is enjoying the extra room in the sports bra trixie use to hog! They truly understand how tired I feel...one has a dad on chemo and the other an uncle.

I am sure I will meet my fair share of ignorant people

.I am off to bed with my cat Beanie...she is the diva waiting for her mom. Good night and God Blees every one you...you are all very special ladies!