Sisterhood of the Secret Handshake

hrf

I also don't get the "douche" expletive ... we need to come up with something that is more male oriented in its perspective when we really want to cuss.

BooBee

Lefty....forgive me if I knew this already but what's going on?   I tend to mix people up especially if they don't have an image under their name.   My PS found a lump on Monday and asked me to have my BS look at it during my follow up appointment next Monday.   I just had a clear mamo.  I'm truly not concerned because I can't feel it and.....because I'm the Raining Queen of Denial.  It does, however, make your blood run cold when Sh!t comes up like that.  I'm also thinking that there is no way in hell cancer could have survived chemo.

We get the results of my husbands BRCA test tomorrow.  Wish us luck.  All four of his sisters are BRAC 1 positive.

AllieM22

wow--and I thought I just read this thread but had like 4 pages to catch up on--whew! And ALL so damn funny! Since I can't remember all of it without taking notes as I go, I can't make funny retorts to all (and they were sooo worthwhile)...

Rachel thanks for the swine flu info--I am going to send that along to friends.

Loved reading the stories of nice things people have done. Leggy--love that you remember that woman! I once saw a woman at a big dinner function with a scar under her arm like we all have from the lymph node removal/testing. I was thinking of how to approach her and thought I'd say "I have a scar like yours..." and see what she said--don't know if you have one from any other type of cancer. But I chickened out...

Renee--good luck on Monday. I had a cyst that I could feel--so thought it was something bad since it seemed solid. But after ultrasounding it and draining it (sorry for the TMI) they determine it wasn't anything to warrant concern.

I used to work with more people who swore and used the F word so I did too but then I found people didn't as much anymore --maybe this is just CA!  Now I find it slips out now and then but since my DH never ever says it, I find myself hating when I do--except of course alone in the car at idiot drivers. Oh and I thought it was Stupid F-ing Breast Cancer...

To the person (forget who) had the USS Enterprise pelvic ultrasound (LOL)--I had the joy of one today. Luckily the cyst they found last time wasn't there--yay! Always nice to have an early morning probe...(Rachel, keep biting your tongue...)

Leah_S

Renee, let me get this straight. Your dh is being tested for BRCA. You had bc. I know marriage is supposed to make two people into one, but don't you think this is carrying it a bit too far?

Leah

GramE

Renee,  tomorrow it will be 6 months since my first post lumpectomy mammogram.   Almost a year since the lumpectomy.  In May I had mammo, us, cloudy area, then stereo biopsy, which showed calcifications.  I was finishing up the year of Herceptin.   The echocardiogram is follow up since Herceptin was finished the end of July.  

Then to add to this anxiety, my 96 yr old Mother was readmitted to the hospital for chest pains and shortness of breath.   Latest I heard ( I am 300 miles away ) is she is comfortable and they think it is her heart.   We never told her about my BC, but she is a 47 year survivor of very radical bi lat mastectomy.   Of course there was no stage, grade, er/pr or anything except "cancer" noted in her records, with multiple clusters of lumps, like grapes.  

I am rambling, trying to bore myself to sleep.... Hugs for all,   Nancy

BooBee

Yes, Leah.  People look at me like I'm stupid or drunk when I tell them about my DH being screened for the breast cancer gene but I've never been tested.    I don't have a family history on my mom's side so my BS said it wasn't necessary to test me.  I told him I didn't have a relationship with my father so I wasn't aware of my paternal health history.  (He left when I was 3.  This was back in the day when they got married at 16 to 18 not knowing squat about life.) 

I looked him up after I had children but I had difficulty bonding with him.  He simply wasn't the man who raised me.  He was,however, kind enough to call me on his birthday but not mine.  Mom never said anything bad about him so I didn't know he might be a bit of a looser.  Actually he's okay but after having children I don't have a lot of respect for people that walk away from their offspring.

Anyway, he still doesn't know I had cancer but I did call him several weeks ago and told him about DH's test and asked him if we had a family history of cancer.  He said his mom died of lung cancer (smoker) and so did his uncle.  He has no other family members that he knows of.  Really... none.  He's an only child and his father left when he was a baby.  I might as well have been adopted in the eyes of a genetic counselor.

Oooops.  Am I boring anyone yet?   My point is, if he's BRCA+ we can have the kids tested. (22 girl, 24 boy, 25 girl)  If he's negative I want to be tested to see if our girls have any risk factors.

I'll shut up now.

BooBee

Lefty....let us know as soon as you can.  Sorry about your mom. Big cyberspace hugs and kisses.  I was writing my story while you were posting yours.   It's funny how we were trying not to bore anyone....or ourselves.

j414

Renee, four of four sisters is extraoridinary.  I am saying a prayer that your DH is negative for both mutations, but even if he's +, BRCA can be managed - your family will be okay.

Lefty, good luck tomorrow- mammos suck (with all the squishing), but I hope yours will be quick, with very little discomfort and an excellent result.  And prayers for your mom - 96 years old - bless her.

BooBee

Bless you J414. 

Win, loose or draw.....we are one as a family.  There is nothing we can't handle if we do it together.  Our family is as big as our true friendships and as powerful as our love and unconditional support of those around us. 

Wow, that's sounds kinda corny.

GramE

Thanks everyone for the good  vibes coming this way.  Do any of you write names on a piece of paper or index card and carry in your purse/pocket?   I often do that to have my f riends "with me" when I go out into the cold, cruel world.   HUGS,    Nancy

Leah_S

Nancy, what a lovely way to keep your friends near.

I felt all your good wishes when I went today for the mammo and u/s. I GOT THROUGH IT. I got teary during the mammo and the tech kept apologizing while she was setting me up because she thought she was hurting me (it's har do set me up, especially for the side view, since I not only have a miniboob but have no fat and very little muscle on my chest above said miniboob) but I told her I wasn't upset because of her hurting me but because it was the first mammo post-treatment. She was so sweet and sympathetic to me. I made sure to tell the doc about it. Mammos will never be pleasant but I wish all of you techs like this lady.

AND EVERYTHING'S CLEAR ON MAMMO AND U/S!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leah

GramE

Happy dancing here in the USA, dear Leah.  GREAT news. Sit, relax, enjoy the day treat yourself to something decadent.   

carollynn79

Renee Good luck with your hubby's test and good for both of you to do the testing.  I do agree with Leah you may be taking the two as one thing a littel too literal!!  LOL

Home sick today pretty sure it is a cold but feel yucky anyway.  I loked up all the OC cold meds and found one we have used in the past I like, it has Acetminophen and phenylephrine hydrocholoride, this is on the moderate list so my thoughts are if I take a few doses  for a few days I am not losing all my "benifit" to the tamox right?  Comments please.  I am doing the nettie pot, tea with honey and lemon plus making chicken brothe with herbs and jalapeno.  I hate colds, I hate being sick, and am tired of not feeling well.  Ok I know being whiney.

Anonymous

Leah, yay to you!!!!  I am so happy you have a clear mammo & US!  We're celebrating with you!

Antibiotics seems to be working - much less pain today - I just bumped into the area and it doesn't hurt nearly as much.  Warm compresses still make it hurt, but I think it's for the most part starting to clear up.

ReneeS - good luck - and hoping everything is B9!

And yes, to all the NoCal sisters  - have fun!  that area of Cali is on my Must See list - and someday (hopefully soon), I'll get out there.

Rach - I am working like a fiend to get authorization to come up for the NY Boat Show in January - will let you know if I am able to make it - and we will plan a NY sisters get together!

Rachel_BC

YAAAAAAY!  Leah's cleared the hurdles... and now its Nancy at bat... mixing my sports metaphors (right after the Yankees win muahahahahaha) Chelev- FABULOUS news on the rapid improvement with the antibiotics, I'm liking that big time.  Big Time.  RAH RAH RAH infection!  RAH RAH RAH antibiotics!  Renee, got some more cheerleaders rooting for BRCA negative results for DH and hanging in for good news on your lumpy bump.

Everyone has to know that it's welcome to express and vent their concerns here... I mean, that is the point.  I still have my friends and family I adore and have fun with, but since DX I think we all faced a bit of self editing issues.  When talking to non-cancer friends, blabbing in general I have to watch where the topic strays, and if some cancer-related thing is on my mind I have to sort of engage the clutch and shift gears.  But the cancer-related thing is still on my mind, I just don't want to also have to deal with the fallout from the non-cancer friend.  Bringing it up outside of here does tend to end the flow of easy conversation.  What's especially nice here is being able to gab and skip around subjects with abandon.  Recipes to test results, family issues and health issues.  And all of it ripe for humor.

Did I miss someone waiting on exam/test results?

LOVE the idea of the taking the names with me- Cheerleaders chanting : GO NANCY GO! 

Anonymous

Wow, you are definitely the cheerleader today, Rachel!!

And yes, I will be coming up for the NY Boat Show in January, so we will have to plan a get together with all NY area sisters (and those who will be in the area too!) for maybe Wed. Jan 19 or Thursday, January 20 dinner or drinks or something??????

Rachel_BC

Chelev's coming to town, yee haa!!!! OK so January means SALES, plan to rape and pillage our way through some stores, or maybe just hit Century 21 with a vengeance?  Not sure if there's a Restaurant Week then, but its around that time-ish in the winter. Maybe I can hit up the salon for a base for us to party- anyone need their hair done?  Its a week before my cancerversary/2ndfollowup/1st zometa

and we LOVE the restaurants in that nabe... (Lower East Side, 7th St)

Maybe we can get the PA girls to come up? 

Anonymous

Yay, Rachel!  Now, I will be working during the show hours either setting up or working at the show, but will definitely be available for some evening fun!!

Rachel_BC

You wanna see if Joseph can see you on the off hours?  I am pretty sure Joey would let us open the salon after hours or on Monday again. Jan 18 is MLK Day- when you comin in? We could get some followup pics for the Hair girls and maybe work on a followup article too.

lbrewer

MY ROOTS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the PS says my nip looks great!  I think its gorss but how would I know what a nip that used to be part of my hip is supposed to look like!

 My hands are always cold too.  I read someplace that the incidence of BC is higher in women who have cold hands!

inspiewriter

You guys mention men having the gene-- my husband's father died of breast cancer years ago.

inspiewriter

Yay on the clear mammos!!

Just had a clear one last month--  4 years clear now : ) 

brookside

hey rachel

I'm coming to NYC too in Feb to go to Westminster KC dog show.  Can you suggest any really good hair stylist there?  I'm stuck in hicksville and always missed my hairstylist I had when I lived in KCMO.  I need to look less like a 57 year old chubbette to a sleak sophisticated 57 year old chubbette. 

AllieM22

Brookside--LOL! I'm sure Rachel can hook you up.

Lbrewer--yay on the stylish new nip and interesting on the cold hands thing...i hadn't read that but definitely have the cold hands and feet...  

am trying to--no, going to--drag myself off to the gym. Know I will feel better as Oct was a fun month of traveling and family visits but not a lot of exercise and everything is starting to hurt. Off I go... 

Also may go to see Where The Wild Things Are later--has anyone seen it? 

Anonymous

Rachel, I am coming in on the 19th, a Tuesday afternoon and will be working 'til at least 6-ish, and will be finished a little earlier on Wednesday, the 20th.

Rachel_BC

quickie to Carollyn- I checked with my ONC and feel comfortable that if I need to take OTC meds during these 5 years I just can- and I would tell him anyway BUT I'd still say check with your ONC.  

 Brookside HELL YES.   Highly recommend my stylist and my colorist, and if you prefer, I have a couple other stylists to recommend.  More on that later, running out to play with my kid

lbrewer- cough up the data on that cold hands thing!  YAY for roots.  I can't see you but lemme say it anyway "Gee L, your hair is getting awfully LONG, don't you think its time for a touch up and maybe a trim?  You long haired hippie freak hair farmer!" :P 

Chelev- we must sort out something fun around your schedule.  Do you want your hair done before the show?   

Rachel_BC

inspie- that stinks!  You know Richard Roundtree also has breast cancer?

BooBee

My husband has beat the odds.  No BRCA ----------negatory.  One out of 5 siblings. This is the best birthday present I can possibly imagine.  I feel like this night mare might finally be over.

Rachel_BC

ROCK ON RENEE!!!!!  

Leah_S

Interesting about the cold hands thing. I have that, too. Well, maybe that's why I got bc and not the family hx. I sure don't have the other risk factors. Except for family, I sound like the poster girl for low risk of getting bc. First period at 13, menopause at 51, first kid at 26, 6 kids, nursed all of them for a long time, don't smoke, don't drink, never obese. Well, it's the cold hands and the warm grandma.

OK, now, I won't be in NY in Jan. BUT I will be in NY from Nov 15-23. Any get-togethers then? I'd love to meet some of my bc sisters. I'll also be in LA from Nov 23 - Dec 3 and Toronto from Dec 3 - Dec 8.

Leah