Sisterhood of the Secret Handshake

BooBee

Kookie...I'll try that next.  I think I just need to work it out.

Ivory...I think avoidance is what put me in this predicament.  I'm impressed by you.  When I'm depressed all I want to do is sleep. 

Chelev....I think it was a young person that was accustom to being nasty on line and was called out on it.  I don't think it had anything to do with Rachel.  She was in the line of fire.  Can I join you for Turkey day?  It sounds wonderful.

Terri...Good to hear it's under control.  PM me with info on DIM.

Mary 1....I think I all ready shocked everyone with TMI.  Not much we can't handle here.

Hugs

Leah_S

Hmmm....I thought TMI wasn't possible on this thread. And on that topic, someone said (don't remember which thread) that coconut oil works. Haven't tried it yet because I'm travelling and dh is at home.

I'm in LA now with my family and it's terrific seeing everyone, though difficult with my parents. I haven't seen them in 2 1/2 years, and my mother has unfortunately deteriorated greatly in that time. She's now in  a wheelchair due to spinal stenosis, and her memory is going. Ironically, she looks very good. My father, on the other hand, looks terrible. The whole burden of taking care of my mother was on him alone until last April. Now, since they've moved to LA and are near my sisters and have someone to help take care of my mother 12 hours a day he has a lot less pressure. My sister told me he actually looks a lot better than he did when they moved here. 

Renee, you can quote the thread I posted. I wrote it to help whoever needed it, so the more places its quoted the more people who will read it.

I heard from a cousin that her mammo showed what she called "calcium deposits" which I think are actually calcifications. She said she was told she might be too small for a needle biopsy and would therefore need a surgical biopsy. Has anyone ever heard of that? i suggested she get a second opinion before she goes for any surgery. I had a needle biopsy which was successful (well, just because i didn't like the answer doesn't mean it wasn't successful) and I'm a size AA. We run to small boobs in our family. 

BTW, we all know from this thread and others that Rachel is an amazing woman. She's even better in real life.

Since I'm not home I don't always get a chance to use the computer, so I don't know when I'll be on again. WE SHOULD ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING, AND A YEAR FILLED WITH THINGS FOR WHICH WE FEEL THANKFUL!!!!! 

Leah 

Rachel_BC

Awww awww awww geez, you guys are so nice... ok another drive by-

Leah- I had calcifications and a surgical biopsy in 2003.  Calcifications were in a "snow" or "star" pattern, little specks in an area, that makes it suspicious,  I had an "excisional biopsy", which was basically a lumpectomy, with no SNB.  I think they said if they got in there and saw it was cancer, then they'd go for the SNB, ... can't remember exactly.  It was benign, but it took 7 days to find out.  With itty bitty boobies, it can be a problem, just because they are removing some of the little that's there.  Takes a while for the divot to fill in.  In my case, 6 years later I had SFBC in the same spot.  

hugs!  

carollynn79

Rachael, if you want a nice crisp crust, put some butter or olive oil on the top, bake at 400 for maybe 15 minutes, depends on how hot the bird is, you can warm up it coverd add a littel broth if it looks dry bake until as hot as you want it, baste with fat leave top off at 400 and it should color and crisp nicely.  PM me if you have any further questions.  We are brining a turkey today and then roasting in the oven, I love cooking for Thanksgving, we will only have 3 of us here but I will cook my heart out.  Pumpkin is cooked and ready to make into a pie, my recipe of chex mix is done, oh so yummy, will  make a fancy jello salad, cut all my stuffing veggies, bake the pie today.  I hope that everyone enjoys this holiday.  I am truly thankful for all the blessings I have received this year including all of you who share in this new chapter of my life.  My sons are together in Albuquerque at my brothers and I will talk to them.  My sister-in-law asked for their favorites and will add them to their meal so we will be eating togther but seperate!!

Had a scare yesterday my breast has started to turn red and swell again and 2 months out of Rads did not know why, called the BS who said come on in and let me check, told me it is normal and may flare up for up to a year.  He is so nice, cancelled next months appointment so no added visit just a nice reassurance. Happy Healthy Thanksgiving to ALL.

pclarky

Yes, I concur about starting the turkey at a VERY hot oven (my recipe says 450) for about 15 minutes before the slower, cooler roast.  With a precooked breast, that long cook won't be too long, I guess.  Happy to say I am NOT cooking the turkey this year, having been invited to pre-inlaw's house (son's enamorata).  Making Brussels sprouts (mandatory!) and mashed potatoes.

And thanks for posting your cat picture, Rachel.  We are cat people, here, and someday I will put up a picture of our tortie, Cookie.

kookiesmom

Meg - I think you are reacting exactly as you should under your circumstances!  I had a dr. try to give me ADs while I was dealing with a load of crap last summer and I told her I thought my reaction to all the stress I was having in my life was how it should be - if I wasn't reacting like that there would have been something wrong with me.  All I was asking for was a Rx for valium - she gave me Xanax instead which I hardly ever use as it gets me too loopy.   If you were skipping along & singing about how wonderful everything was when it isn't then there would be something wrong!   I think you are handling things just right and self help is a good thing!  Not that there is anything wrong with seeing a therapist - I have done that in the past when I couldn't handle things anymore and I have tried ADs for PMS but never did find they helped. 

Rachel - I vote for cooking the turkey w/o broth with a little foil hat til its warmed up.  Maybe take the foil off at the end to crisp like someone said put a lil butter on him.  I would put it in your own roasting pan and claim you made it if it comes out good and if it comes out dry blame wherever it came from!

As for going for second opinion - do I tell them I am there for a second opinion or do I just act like I am going to switch to that Dr?  Do I tell them what my onc. says I should do or play dumb?

Happy Thanksgiving!  And Black Friday Shopping!!!! 

pkb143

meg, you want my yappy ShihTzu to chase that black dog away??

**For some reason, that just reminded me of a card my Mom gave me one time. On the front was an immaculate, beautiful living room with white furniture and white carpet. In the middle of the floor sat a little Shih-Tzu, with obvious dark brown pawprints on the carpet leading up to where she'd walked. On the inside it read: "Shih-Tzu happens!"

I think I want to go to Carollyn's house for Thanksgiving! or possibly chelev's. Both are making my mouth water. Speaking of spit, Mary22, don't worry about TMI here!! All I'm going to say is: AstroGlide, VagiFem and Replens are my friends. Sometimes it takes all three.

kookiesmom, IMO, I think you should tell the Dr. you're there for a second opinion and also include what your onc says, but that's just my opinion. 

Rach, are we getting a little O/C there about that crispy skin, girlfriend? OK, if all else fails, stick that bird under the broiler for a few minutes! And speaking of cooking, I need to bake some pecan pies today, so see y'all later!!

Rachel_BC

hey carollyn- I am BLONDE remember... how does that go... uh.... bake it first at 400 covered and add broth only if it looks dry... then when its warm (uh, use meat thermometer?) uncover and oil it up and bake at 400 for another 15 minutes??? so if your boob is going to light up red every so often, shall we call you Rudolf the Red Boob?I love your doc.  And your meal!  And everyone's meal!  pclarky.  I am also behind on posts.  Found out this morning the deadline for filing against the lawsuit being dropped is December 10, so I spent every second today digging up evidence and haven't seen a post since pclarky as I write this... also no breakfast or lunch or toothbrushing (TMI) but hey I took my Tamox... I gotta post my cat video for ya pclarky...  oh have to log i n again, it's been so long it logged me out!meg- before i forget, I think asking for help from a shrink when you need it IS self help and you did that as appropriate.  All you did and are doing is appropriate.  Just feel free to vent here whenever you like, OK? kookie is too right again- if you were all happy skippy then we'd really be worried about you...kookie- too funny, claim it as mine... I was only going to put it in a glass dish to avoid any kinda metallic flavor... on on the second opinion you tell them the truth, its completely normal and they should totally expect it.Same for third fourth fifth opinions.  It doesn't have to be "I think my doctor is a complete fcrikeyuck up, so I am coming to you" its just "hey, I am in a spot here, and I would like to know if you have any ideas or another point of view".  Its fcrickeyucking cancer for crying  out loud, its all guess work and prayer and your life at stake.  You are uncomfortable, considering treatments, you need more information and input.  Any doctor who doesn't just take it as a normal reasonable request is one to avoid.  And your current doc would usually not be insulted either.  I can look for some articles on reliable sources to show ya, this is completely normalamundo stuff.Keep a lookout for pattyB part deux and me and my kid coming to your houses chelev and carollyn...  YUMMYhahahahahahaha AS IF anyone here could POSSIBLY enter the TMI zone... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaPattyb part deux you are MAKING the pecan pies!  Jeez o man.  If I put the breast under the broiler I am afraid it will get charred... :)OK maybe heat it covered at 400 until the meat thermometer says its warm inside (btw what temp is that anyway?) and then take off the cover, spread the fat on and broil it (I have hi and lo broil, which one?) for 10-15 minutes.  Hell yes I am OCD abotu the crispy skin!Allie- you don gotta change how you write G-d for me!  Everybody do their own thing  I just feel bad for my friends, one who wont come back to BC org, because someone chastised her for saying "goddamn".    

Anonymous

Rachael, if you care more about taste than presentation, pull as much of the skin off the turkey as you can, put it on a foil lined baking sheet, crank the oven up as high as it will go and crisp it up.  Slice the meat, arrange it in a baking dish or pie plate, add stock or broth and reheat it in the oven or microwave.  

Rachel_BC

YEAH PatMom wow what cool idea!!!! HAHAHAHAHA The hardcore way...

pkb143

....and Rach, I dunno, but more than about 5 minutes under the broiler sounds like too much.

And yep, I'm making the pecan pies. I do every year - use 'Dear Abby's' recipe. They are really simple to make -- SERIOUSLY~ 'cause I am NOT a pie-maker at any other time.  The hardest part about it is deciding when to take them out of the oven.

Rachel_BC

Thank you PattyB part deux- yeah 5 mins does sound more reasonable!

Today has been NUTS.  Instead of doing what I planned to do, from sun up to sun down I was poring through documents to find evidence because it turns out the deadline is moved up by a week... and my lawyer didn't see this stuff... so now its a freaking marathon tonight and tomorrow until food is on the table and the baby's in bed.  

THANKYOU everyone for the tips on heating the turkey, because I don't have a nano second to spare.

TMI- I haven't bathed or eaten or brushed my teeth or changed or anything since yesterday

Kid's in the high chair watching Sesame St as I write this

Gotta eat something, finish kids dinner, bathe him, get on trainer for an hour with him on my back (now the size of a 3 year old), put him to bed, bathe myself wash and dry hair (I know, no sympathy from the chemo gals), pack his gear for tomorrow, pass out

Tomorrow- kid will be up by 7, you know the drill there, breakfast and change clothes and stuff while freshening up, at 9am both the Russian nanny and my friend with a car show up.  I leave the kid and nanny and bring the car seat down to my friend's car, install it, go back and get the kid and the nanny and the gear... then my poor friend is going to drive us smack into the Macy's day parade because that's where my Dad's is.  My friend made a reservation for a parking space at a parking lot!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? OK so everybody and the car seat come out of the car and up to my Dad's apartment.  Visit for a couple hours and then we all go to a restaurant for lunch at noon.  The restaurant is also smack in the middle of the parade and the parade ends at noon.  Meanwhile, that friend is leaving to go join HIS family in Pennsylvania.  After lunch, back to my Dad's and another friend is coming with a car from NJ to pick us up.  Repeat morning performance, leaving kid and nanny to go install the car seat in second friend's car.  Go back to my place, its about 45 minutes by car even though its a mile.  Everybody and the car seat out of the car back to my place.

Then I get to make Thanksgiving dinner for my second friend and myself, the nanny will watch the kid until 6pm, then he's gonna watch movies while I pork out on Thanksgiving dinner and pass out on the couch.

And that's assuming no surprises.

YEEE HAAAAA 

jrgolomb

Hello all.  DD and I are just about to start our pie baking.  She is making pumpkin pie-one is an actual pumpkin-pie-pumpkin  we bought and the second one is a can.  ( We are not that brave!)  I am making dutch apple pie. My dh decided to make bruschetta tonight and so I am warm from eating a snack  and am putting off making the pie!

My BS spoke at a meeting at the cancer center last week and she talked about how women reacted to the knowledge they had BC:   THEY without a doubt , most often and repeatedly said ,"Fcrikeyuck".   That ancient old word emanating out of women from all walks of life, all socioeconomic backgrounds, races and religious persuasions let the old expletive loose.  I frankly can't remember what I said when she told me the news. 

I sort of want to talk about my S%x life, but everyone else's is so much more interesting.  Kind of voyeuristic , eh?  Since BC, I really haven't had the desire.  I am sure the tamoxifen and all that has kicked out any kind of libido in my life. 

I think everyone on  this thread is wonderful, hilarious, heart felt, intense , happy and sad and I hope  this long weekend , or at the very least , Thursday is a good day. 

Rachel_BC

Jess, I love the picture of you and your DD making pies  (natch, I don't know what either of you look like, but I get the idea of mom and daughter making pies)

I haven't taken the time (I think) to tell everyone how much I love you all and hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.  I feel very very grateful this year.   

carollynn79

Hey Rachael a thermometer for the meat, is that like using a recipe while cooking!!!  I was trying to give my sister in law a recipe you add this, that, taste etc, she said no I need to know how much of each so I winged it hope it comes out good!!!  I learned to cook from my Grandma and Mom you read cook books they are idea books, you don't always actually use them!!  Well this is Rudolph the Red Boob wishing all a Very Happy Thanksgiving!!!!  The pumpkin pie and jello are done, now rest.

Rachel_BC

hey, I can make jello.

Rachel_BC

unsurprisingly, this evenings activities have been edited... no workout, no bath for mommy.  I hope tomorrow morning I get up early enough to bathe.

replaced with take valium for strained back, get in massage chair, watch tv and hope to fall asleep 

jrgolomb

I am beginning to see quite a few Michiganders on this thread.  Yeah, twisted!   cool.  Can you say " Tahquamenon Falls" ?

The pies are baking and that is good.  I guess when all is said and done, we don't care what they taste like!  Is that desperate or what!  We WILL eat what we cook.   Chelev, your meal does sound wonderful, though.

LeggyJ

Jess, my libido has been gone, since BC/chemo/rads/tamoxifen, but I plan on getting back in the saddle, this weekend.  Even if I have to fake it, for a while.  My ex was calling me all through treatment, after he heard from the grapevine(pun intended), and I wouldn't even see him until my hair started growing back, well after rads.  But he's seen it, and still wants me, so we'll see how it goes.  I've already got the KY packed with the wig!!!

Carollynn, I've missed you, and thought about you the minute Rachel asked for help with her turkey!!!

Chelev, I wish I lived near you, I'd come over for dinner.

Rachel, cute kitty! 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

Please pray for three Navy Seals, GOD BLESS YOU!

HelenaJ

Popping in to wish all you gorgeous Americans Happy Thanksgiving...not even sure I know what it is ..is it the pilgrims landing or something?  Well I do know it is a holiday so ENJOY.  I'm thankful I have met you all.

big hugs

Helena

Edited to add:  on another thread, yes I am a thread whore - there really is only one other though please trust me... but in some instances it is necessary to use FH instead of DH.  Thought it was particularly funny, but that's just me  :P

Juli50

Happy T-Day to all!

Last year I had chemo a few days before Thanksgiving and nothing tasted good. So this year I am thankful to have taste buds. :P

and especially thankful for all of you!

hugs

ktym

Juli50, made me smile, happy to have taste buds, it does make you happy for a lot of little things you otherwise wouldn't think about

My vote is for slippery stuff.  Works great, easy to get at the drug store or on line.  Doesn't leave any residual sticky feeling after.  Nor seems to bring any additional UTI risk for those of us that is an issue for. Agree spit works good too.

Rachel, made me tired just hearing your itinerary for the day

Experimenting with a few new side dish recipes, all supposed to be healthy for you.  My surprise of the day how fcrickey hard butternut squash is to cut open.  Hadn't made it before.  Procrastinated on a lot of things this week and therefore ended up in the grocery store the day before Thanksgiving.  Lucky to find a parking spot.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you (and a belated one for  my Canadian friends).  Hope for everyone no black dogs visit and everyone is safe and fed and at least content, but would wish for happy

carollynn79

 Good  family and friends, good food, precious moments, may we all enjoy a Happy Thanksgiving.

Rachael my DH loves jello!!

Leggy, have been busy with work and still battling fatiuge so not on as much, was off this week so have more time to visit with all of you.

Jess where in Michigan are you from.

Well off to turn the turkey on and get dressed for church.

covertanjou

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends!  I hope you have a wonderful day!

Mary #2 

jrgolomb

Happy Thanksgiving and thank you to Covertanjou.....and Helena for the nice Thanksgiving greetings. 

Helena--I had to laugh about your comment:  thread whore.  That's good, but please tell us more!

Leggy and Kmmd---Spit!???; I never!!  Okay, well, maybe a couple of times.  For some reason this talk reminds me of how my mother told me about the "birds and the bees".  You know, the reasons for using ky jelly and SPIT.  Can you just envision my mom, straight laced, a minister's wife  trying to tell me about SEX?  I do remember giggling insanely and then when I talked about it with the other girls on the way to school, their versions were also quite funny.  SPIT also makes me hearken back to my first official kiss. I kissed a boy who was a high schooler (10th grade) and I was in 8th!!  It was scandalous at the time.  I also remember thinking, is that it?   That's all ya got?  I remember right around that time a book was a hot seller and it was about a woman who finally stood up to her husband and demanded he help her have an orgasm....oh gosh what was that book......!  I loved that book and was so surprised there was something more than the missionary pose......Crikey, what was the name. I will think of it and come back to let you know.!

Turkey is in the oven the pies are high up on the shelf so the dog doesn't grab a bite.  Yams and acorn squash is cooking and I am already hungry!   Maybe that is why I am thinking about sex.  HM.....Associations of some sort!?

Carolynn---I live in between Big Rapids and Mount Pleasant. 

Hugs and kisses everyone! 

PattiB

Haven't been on in a couple of days - so much to catch up on. 

I am so thankful I have this thread and others that have helped me through this past year. Helena -  I am a thread whore too, lately I have only had time to lurk because like Leggy, I seem to be fatigued all the time, so everyday it is work, dinner, crash in front of the TV, fall asleep, wake up, take a sleeping pill, bed.

Rachel I would love to meet up on the 12th of December and my calendar looks clear for that Saturday.  Allentown is about an hour away from me.  Keep me posted.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all have great dinners!!!!!  For tomorrow I diet!

LittleRed

WOW!!  My computer was on the fritz so I have been absent since last weekend...I don't know where to begin - it took me over an hour to read through the posts I missed.

HelenaJ:  Your comment about your sister and losing innocence touched me so.  This does change us doesn't it?  But, hopefully for the better.

NED Ladies - I am so happy for you - that's just such wonderful news!!

Rachel you've created a home for us here.  I am not bothered by the occassional swear - I've said it before and will say it again - it's the SFBC that is OBSCENE!!!  What are we supposed to say in the face of that?  Sometimes we have to call it what it is.  If we can't come here when it becomes too much to take - when we 'lose it' - and call it like it is, then where are we supposed to go?  I know someone might be genuinely offended, but I think they need to consider that we all have our breaking points and our moments.  We all handle it differently.  But sometimes we need to scream!  Sometimes we need to cry...sometimes we just need to call the ugly what it is because we are hurt and ANGRY!  This is the place I come to for understanding, laughter, knowledge, and to share.  Venting helps too!  I am so grateful for this forum.  I am grateful for all you ladies.  Wherever we have to go, Rachel, I'm with you and all the other Sisters.

Dinner plans sound wonderful.  I'm waiting on stuff to finish heating in the oven and then I'm carting it off to Mom's for dinner.  Hope you all enjoy your day!

Chelev, I think my sister's in-laws are in the Villages.  Sheila and Joe King (no, I'm not joking...).

MOJO - I never lost mine...just the guy that went with it.    Good luck ladies.  Use it or lose it?  D!@N I'm in trouble!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to everyone, (national holiday or not).  I am thankful for so much this year.  Life is full of blessings and consolations.  Thanks to you all for being so lovely and kind and generous.  You are an amazing group of women!!  Peace!

Be good to you -

jrgolomb

Little Red!!!! 

OIC---didn't quite realize what a thread whore meant.   guess I gotta be educated!

pkb143

meg, I like that - "my heart is full" - what a wonderful way to sum it all up.

Went to my brother's house for dinner today and had a wonderful dinner without any family drama. Not that we usually do, but it seems to be abundant in other families. I have to say, last year I was so not thankful  - my Mom had a stroke on Nov. 20 last year. This was on top of her battle with breast cancer in 2002/2003, and congestive heart failure 2003 and on. I was very angry with G_d then and questioned why He was picking on my Mom. I even said, "Hey, pick on somebody else for a while!!" even though deep down I do not believe G_d singles people out for good or bad treatment (that's comes later on Judgement Day).

This year, my Dad commented that it was so much better this year, thinking back to last year when he and took I turns eating dinner at my brother's house and sitting with Mom at the hospital. I delivered Thanksgiving dinner and pie to my Mom in the hospital, where she was barely eating or talking. In fact, her goal was to get out of bed and walk down the hall (so she could go home). Now after months of rehabilitation and speech therapy, she is walking and talking (speech is not back to normal but she communicates fairly well). She is still rather frail, but she gets out and enjoys activities with her family quite often.

But most of all, I'm just thankful both Mom & Dad are still around. I used to think a stroke would be the worst thing that could happen to a parent, but now I know it's not.

Hope everyone has a good day, or as close as possible! I truly enjoy each and every one of you on this thread  -- so THANK YOU, Rachel, for bringing us together.

Mary22

Hello to all!!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

For all you Michiganders, I was born in Detroit and raised in Sterling Hgts and then moved to Oscoda when I was in High School! Go LIONS!!!! Of course they lost today!!!!! What else is new these days, at least we have the Red Wings!

Hope everyone enjoys their time with their families today. This year I have so much to be thankful for,LIFE for one, and being a fighter! Blessings for all!!