Starting Chemo October 2009

BrendaSharon

Sunshine,

You do realize they can't do that to you. If you have an illness preventing you from work they can't just not take you back!!`~~~~~~Look into the legal aspects of this because they can get in trouble if they don't take you back. Just follow proper procedures for your Leave of Absence" They must take you back and give you a job comparble to what you did before~~~~~Stand your ground, us "Warriors" have enough to deal with just having this -C- Crap~~~~~

(((((POSITIVE THOUGHTS)))))

one-L

Brenda Sharon, I take 8 mg twice a day for the day before tx, day of tx an day after tx.  They ask me at the tx if I have taken my riods and I know that if I forgot, then they would give them to me in drip.

michele, sorry about your shovel.  If I could I would send you one for Christmas, but I doubt if I could find a snow shovel in Texas.   Hope someone will volunteer to shovel for you.

Laura, contgrats on tx #4 today.  Hoping you have mild SEs.

Sunshine, I have had 3 TCs and I know I have a brain fog.  Sometimes I just can't remember certain words or phrases.  I am still working, but doing simple things now.  No complex problems.  Which is usually what I do.  I work at a nuclear power plant and write procedures and maintain a software package.  Sometimes I just can't think things through.  But I have a helper that takes up the slack and I am not worried about her taking over my job.  We generally do two separate things and just work on this one project together.  I have not had a hard time with the Taxotere, but I am so fatigued and it just kicks my WBC completely off the chart.  I am home bound now waiting for my WBC to come up.  You know there are laws that they have to hold your job for so many weeks, I think it is 12, if you go out on family leave.  So maybe it will not be as bad as you think.  Good luck  to you and I hope it  all works out for you.

Well the old WBC is down down down and I am home bound again for the 3rd time. I will get a Neupogen shot everyday, that is if my insurance company will let me bring some home for the weekend.  Anyway, I got a shot today and will get another  tomorrow.  I had a few things I wanted to do this  weekend, but I guess they are all out.  I just have to remind myself that I only have one more to go and this  part will be over.

By the way I did mention to the Onc about my fingers and toes tingling and the restless leg syndrome.  She said it should go away, at  least most  of it and she didn't want to give me any more drugs on top of what else I am taking.

Juannelle

lainieo

Hi Girls,

I just finished #3. Feeling ok, just a bit queasy. Hope everyone having treatments are feeling ok. Going to rest and have some tea.

Brenda Sharon I take 4MG 2x a day of steroids .

A nice evening to al.

one-L

lainieo, congrats on tx #3.  Hope you have minimal SEs.

MaryNY

Finished my final AC treatment on Tuesday. So far this seems worse than the others. The day of treatment, I came home and sat on sofa and slept for three hours and I rarely nap during the day. This morning I had difficulty getting out of bed at 10:30AM and for most of the day I've felt down and weepy. This stage doesn't usually hit me until day 4 and day 5, so I've no idea what tomorrow will bring once the steroids have worn off. I haven't been walking as it's been so cold, so that may be partly to blame for my lousy mood. I might go mall-walking tonight.

Shelby: Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. I hope you have a wonderful day. I think BC gives us a different prespective on life and probably on wedding planning too so you won't get bogged down in the little details but it will be more about the important things. I'm sure the day will be bitter-sweet for you. Would love it if you could share your photos with us afterward. 

one-L

MaryNY, congrats to you on final AC.   Maybe since you are being moody earlier after the tx, you will  get  over it sooner.  I had tx #3 last week and I am still so tired I can't seem to function.  Best of luck  to you.

MaryNY

Being fatigued is new to me. At least we have sleep as an antidote to that. I've been lucky in not having bad SEs from the Neulasta shots. No very severe bone pain like others experience. It's just strange how the same drugs can affect us all so differently.

Next I move onto CMF, which was supposed to be four cyles, but now onc is suggesting 6 or even 8 cycles so it just makes this whole thing seem never-ending. Then I will still have to face radiation after that.

suz45

Hi Ladies. Sorry for being mia for so long. Ive kept up with the posts up to page 45 so Im really far behind but will read the rest asap.

Things have not been so well here, if its not one thing its another... I guess thats just life. The good news is I just had #5tx yesterday out of 6 (instead of 8) so if i could have a few more smileys and a few less sad faces MaryNC I would be very happy. Onc says that studies have shown that 6 in cases like mine are just as effective and less harmfull from the long term SE's. Also from feel it looks like all the tumors and nodes have shrunk or cant be felt externally. My one real problem seems to me the mammory node behind the sternum (sp) that is the most serious as they cant operate on it.

Which now leads to the news I got on tues. They had a group discussion on my case and are thinking that so far tx has been good. My next and last chemo will be Dec 30 then I will go into Rads for 25 sessions the end of Jan. Double mast will follow.... I was supposed to have immediate reconstruction but... they now are thinking I should wait a year as the cancer this time was soo agressive and fast spreading (8 tumors in RB 3 nodes under arm, 3 in neck and at least one behind sternun in 3 months) I am having a really hard time with this but they said the best way to monitor it is by touch, and I was thinking of a tram flap. Have my meeting scheduled with the plastic surgeon on the 15th of Dec, but who knows if I can use her now. Too much serious operation to undo I think and too hard to monitor the return of the cancer. I asked my onc if implant would be the same and got a non-commital answer... sigh. Im not sure if I can handle the mental aspect of being boobless for a year and then having to operate again. I know its my life they are tyring to save and need to try to focus on that. Also I think dh is on the verge of a nervous breakdown having to take on the majority of my work as well as his, then this on top of it all. We thought I was over all of this more than a year ago.

Ive been battling UTI's then a cold which turned into broncitis and so on. So have been house ridden for ages. And as some may recall My Dad passed away suddeny out of town in the beginning of my tx and my Mom found out she had ovarian cancer and started chemo the same time as me. Well she just had a full hysterectomy this morning along with a bower hernia repair. The tumor was 8 inches long and they couldnt remove it as there was too much scar tissue from numerous other operations (& 8 kids) so they just drained it and hav to cauterize some excessive bleeding. I have been in tears all day as my stepdad was told that her cancer will come back (no news how soon or if its even considered gone) will find out more hopefully later tonight.

Sorry for coming back with so much negative, but I just had to get it out and didnt know where else to go. This was always my comfort zone in Dec 07 where I could say anything, I still hope it is. I just wish I was closer to them so I could be there.

Love, hugs and prayers to all you beautiful ladies, Suz

suz45

I updated my diagnosis finally today from 2007's

one-L

Oh Suz45, I don't even know how to respond to you, you poor dear.  It is enough that we have to deal with our own cancer, then you have had to face all the other hardships.  You have come to the right place for comfort and support.  I can only give you hugs and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Juannelle

MaryNY

Suz: You are going through so much it puts my little complaints into perspective. What you are going through just seems like so much to handle right now. I'm sure you feel even more deeply for what your mother is going through than you would if you didn't have your own BC issues to deal with. And I'm guessing you are trying to hide what you are feeling from her. Do you have siblings for support?

I'm glad you are at least seeing an end in sight for the chemo. I took away some of those virtual sad faces, wish it was as easy in real life.

You still have a lot of time to make a decision about the reconstruction. Remember that having reconstruction will prolong your recovery time, so that is another argument to postpone it along with the monitoring aspect. That said, I too would find it difficult to deal with being boobless.

valeriekd

Hi Suz Your story is a sad one and it sucks but you are brave to write about it, face it, change your dx. Its the only way to go - painful as it is. Life on life's terms but you are in my thoughts and prayers and I must say I respect you also. Valerie

micheleboots

Suz (((((big hugs for you))))).

MarieK

Suz wish I could say or do something to make you feel better.  Just know that you are always welcome to vent the good the bad and the ugly here!

MarieK

Hi All!

Mary smile me for #4 please!

I had my 4th tx of FEC on Monday.  I had something different for lunch that day and I think it threw things off because I was nauseated and vomitting by the end of the evening.  Luckily it went away by day 2 and other than extreme fatigue and laziness I am doing well.

Laura I had to laugh at your preventative Senokot comment because unlike the rest of my treatments I actually had a BM yesterday on Day #3!!!  This without grapes or any other help - ok maybe the GIANT lattes had something to do with it!

Shelby I can't believe that you are getting married already.  For some reason I thought it was after Christmas.  I guess that's what happens when you miss a few PAGES of posts and speed read!    I wish you and your fiance all the best and the bestest and happiest wedding day!  BTW I love your new photo - you do look radiant but it could just be the glow off the computer screen!

1L sorry to hear that you are homebound again.  What is your WBC?  I was told on Monday that mine was 2.3 which is in the acceptable range to continue with tx.  No one said anything to me about staying home.  Although I do the neupogen injections after EVERY treatment from day 3 to day 10. 

I hate doing these injections MYSELF and finally have enlisted some help.  No it's not tequila although that thought did cross my mind.  I've got a few friends who were nurses BK (before kids) and they have offered to "jab" me a few times during each session.  This is one of the best things anyone could do for me during this time!

At my onc appt on Monday (just before chemo) I asked the dr 2 things. 

1.  Are we still on target for 6 tx of FEC?  I am scheduled to be finished with chemo on Jan 19.  He answered yes absolutely everything is looking great.  I'm not going to second guess or worry about it - I choose to just believe him...

2.  Radiation yes or no?  He tells me maybe - it's always maybe with him on radiation.  He is forwarding my file to the BC Cancer Agency and they will review it.  If necessary I will have a referral and consulation.  The good news is that if it's yes to radiation the treatments will not interfere with my Palm Springs family vacation in Feb.  It seems silly but after cancelling 2 family vacations because of this SFC (sh*t-f**k**g-cancer) that is my goal - my pie in the sky - my reward for finishing chemo - my break from cancer....you get my drift I'm sure!

Anyway that's enough from me for today. 

Although I'm not posting every day I want everyone to know that I do think of you ALL everyday and read your posts (speed read sometimes I'll admit) but do get on to check on you often.

Good night and be well friends....

Marie

Enjoyful

Dear Suz -

That's an awful lot of bad news to handle and I wish I could say something to help you.  As so many have said, we're here to support you and listen to your vents.  Come often!

E

Scoobydoo

Suz - I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time.  First with your own BC then with your mom's cancer.  You and your family are in my prayers.  You can always come here to vent.  So never feel like you have to hold anything in.

Much love and hugs to you and your mom.

Anita

one-L

Marie, when she said it was low today, I just went into shutdown and don't remember the numbers now.  It was low enough that she sent me home with an antibiotic, which is something that she has not done before.  No eating out, no movies, no sick people, and stay at home.  I normally have a Nuelasta shot, then get Neupogen at the end of the week after tx.  She was gone on vacation and the NP didn't give me the Neulasta shot and my insurance only approved 2 Neupogen shots, so that left me uncovered.  So I guess it was the lowest it had ever been.  Next time I will get a Neulasta shot and back to the Neupogen at the end of the week.

I am also not to eat fresh fruit, yogurt, or anything raw and so forth and so on.  Only one more, Only one more.

Juannelle

txstardust

Suz, my thoughts are with you as you deal with everything.  You are strong, I know you will get through this!

Lanieio, Marie, Mary, Laura, and anyone else who had tx this week - one more down!  Hooray!  That's one more step closer to the end of tx.  It will come to an end, as hard as it is to believe.

1L, I'm so sorry that you are home-bound again.  Just be glad that you are able to stay home, and they aren't putting you in the hospital!  I'm going to ask my doc if he'll just do a blood test on me a week after tx, and if my WBC is low, to just be able to stay home BEFORE I get sick.  Get some good funny movies to help you pass the time!  And thank goodness, just one more!

Sunshine, if you take leave with the Family Medical Leave Act, you are guaranteed to have your original job or one that is comparable when you come back within 12 weeks.  Don't worry that your boss seemed glad you were leaving - maybe he/she just wants you to take it easy, and is concerned for your health, rather than being truly glad you are leaving!  You may want to discuss your concerns with the HR person at your company, and find out the procedure.  Do you have short-term disability insurance?  That would certainly come in handy as well. 

Well everyone, it's TOMORROW!!!  I can hardly believe it!  I'm going to pick up the flowers and make my bouquets.  Sometime today I have to finish a few lesson plans for class - ugh.  Then I will be sitting around hoping that my shoes come in the mail.  If they don't, I have a back-up pair, but these are the cutest shoes!  I just hope it doesn't rain.  The closer it gets to Saturday, the more they show possible rain, but it should just be in the morning.  Wish me no rain!

Peace to all...

Shelby 

joanneasiata

SUZI

When i hear what other people are going through, my journey is so simple and easy , i to feel ashamed  when I'm having a winge about me . I pray that god will give you his strength to get through this  ,he will, its not until we look back on things that we realize that he was carrying us, even if you don't believe  just ask him, he wants to carry you through this

JOJO

joanneasiata

EVERYBODY

PRINCESS JOJO HAS RETURNED!!!!!!!

I have put my crown back on today as I'm feeling wonderful ,seen my onco today and, all of my blood tests and everything that gets tested twice in between TX are ALL NORMAL he couldn't ask for anything better ,oh I'm sooo cleaver .

SO with my crown comes a magic wand that i only wave it around my special friends

SO HERE WE GO !!!!!!!

1L

My magic wand is over you ,  your blood counts are going to be PERFECT  from now on, and no more being house bound the doors will be flung open and the shops will welcome you

MICHELE 

My wand will make the fairies come to your place every morning at 5 am to clear away the snow and drop rose petals along the drive way,  just for you.

SHELBY

My wand will be on you at your wedding day, don't worry ,it WILL be perfect

VAL

my wand will make your tingles go away and peace will flow all through your body.

ANITA

You will breeze through your 3rd TX

ENJOYFULL

You sweet thing you,  my wand will make a hulk like man appear to you when you feel your rage coming on, and you can have an all out brawl with him and not your family

LAURA

The out of control one , i don't know which way to go here with you, its either, wave my wand on you to give you more self control, or wave it over every thing you put in your mouth so  not to have any weight gain effect i think i will go for that one ah, ill be nice

SUNSHINE

MY wand will give you time of work and you same job to go back to,  recoup and enjoy life( hey kick back sister )PROPERLY WITH NO GUILTY CONSCIENCE.

MARYK

And you my dear will say F*&#K FEC  my wand doesn't tolerate FEC.

MARYNY

My wand will give you all the energy to get back and pound that road, watch out you want know what to do with all this energy sister, watch out husband!!!!!!

Well i do hope my wand helps, i better  go and charge it up

PS if by chance it does fail go take some really strong sleeping tablets ,enough to knock you out for a few days ,by then  the SEs should be just about gone  GOOD LUCK TO ALL

FAIR WELL MY BEAUTIES

PRINCESS JOJO

lainieo

Hi Ladies,

Suz45  My thoughts and prayers are with you What a lot to handle!  Hang in there and know we are here to support you in any way that you need. Hugs and more to you.

Mary  Hang in there as well.  Our journies have their ups and downs but what ever is thrown our way we seem to get through it one way or another. What is most important is that in the end we will be ok and get through this.Congrats on #4

Txstardust- Wishing you sunshine and the best wedding day ever!

1L  Thinking of you and hopefully you will get those WBC up.  Insurance can be so frustrating!

Maria  Good to hear from you. Enjoy your vacation.

 Welcome back Princess JO JO!

Well time to try and sleep some more. Was exhausted after chemo. slept on and off from 6-4. Guess those steroids are kicking in. I put in for my subat school  through Wed so I will rest and take care of myself. Then only 5 days of work and it is the Christmas break. I am so excited because my son and my daughter will be here for the holidays.  My daughter comes in on the 24th. She is here now for this round but heads back to Miami on Sunday. My son arrives on the 26th. I have not seen him since July and my diagnosis. It will be so good to just hug him and have him around. He wiil be home for 9 days. He lives so far away in Montana and we are in Virginia so it is difficult for him to get here. I love it when I have my two kids together. They are the best!  DH is doing better as well. He finally gets that there are many SE's with the chemo and that some emotional support is needed.  He has always been good with doing things around the house so I am thankful for that. Enough rattling. Hope everyone has a minimal SE day.

Scoobydoo

Good morning ladies!

MaryNY- Can you please update my smilies.  I am one more down and have only one more tx to go.  Yay.  Thanks for all you do.  I hope things are going well for you and that your SEs are minimal.

Shelby - I hear a little rain on your wedding day is good luck.  I am sure you will have a beautiful wedding and that you will be a beautiful bride.

1L-  Sorry to hear you are house bound again.  I suffer the same low WBC count woes.  Although since I am on taxol, my onc has not decided to put me back on neupogen shots.  Just take it easy and once you get your shots your counts should come right back up. 

Lainieo- That is so great that your kids will be with you for Chistmas holiday season.  Enjoy them.  My mom is visiting me for my last tx and will be with me for New Years.  That is wonderful that you hubby is doing better helping you through BC.  You are blessed.

Princess JoJo- Thank you for waving your wand over me.  I sure hope your wish comes true.

Well I have a busy day planned with getting ready for daughter's sleepover tonight.  Since I am still on the steroids my energy level will be high today.  I will need that.  Wishing everyone today a SE free day.

Anita

joanneasiata

LAINIEO

How nice for you to have your kids with you ,what a good destraction  from all the BC stuff, I'm happy for you, Ive got 2 sons  and i love getting hugs from them one is nearly 6 ft and the other is smaller but more buffer and i just love snuggling into them and I'm so glad that they love there cuddles, enjoy your babies .Its good to hear that your husband is doing well its good to have a partner that understands  .All the best to you

one-L

shelby, I grant the wish for a beautify sun shinny day on Saturday.  I don't have the wand that JoJo has, but maybe my wish will help anyway.  It will be a beautiful day, rain or shine.

Princess JoJo, thanks for wishing my WBC up.  You are such a fun person, wish you lived around here and we would be partying all the time.

lainieo, I have two boys, 36 and 32 and they still give the best hugs and cuddles, there is nothing better, well maybe the grandkids, but that is a different story.  Glad the husband is coming around, I know they have a hard time with all this, but so do we.  I don't know about you,  but I look very healthy and I think it is hard to realize what our bodies are going through when we look healthy. 

Anita, congrats on finishing a tx.  Each one down is one less we have to endure and it is an accomplishment.  Get all you can get done today, because tomorrow dawns another day.

Hoping everyone has a good day and am sending hugs to everyone.

Juannelle

JustmeAlicia

Suz45 ~ my heart aches for you..........  I am so sorry for all you are having to deal with.  You and your family will be in my thoughts.  Come here and vent anytime.

micheleboots

Suzie,  I hope you are doing ok.  I know this is going to be a rough time for you.  Just know we are all her when you need to vent, cry, laugh.  We are your sisters..Take good care of yourself..

Jojo, You have made my day..If I squint I can almost see the roses petals in my drive.  Perhaps I too will be a princess today.  I have my LGFB thing this afternoon...I hope it goes as well as everyone else's went.  Then we have mt DH xmas party tonight.  It is a seafood buffet, and show.  Lucky for me I can actually taste food this week...yah me.

Later Lovely Ladies

JustmeAlicia

Enjoy your class Michele and the Xmas party.  YOU can put your new makeup on.

JOJO glad our princess is BACK !

Hugs girls,

Alicia

txstardust

Princess JoJo, thank you for making me smile this morning!!  I love your sense of humor!

Laineio, I'm also glad that hubby is coming around.  Hope you find that energy you are looking for!  By the way, what grade/subject do you teach?  I'm in a master's program to be a deaf educator.  If you're interested in seeing amazing videos about auditory-verbal deaf education, go to http://www.oraldeafed.org/movies/index.html.  

Anita - a sleepover, you are one brave woman!  My daughter asked if she could have a sleepover for her bday party, and I told her only if she has 3 girls over or less.  I just don't have the energy for a house full of giggling 13-year-olds!

Juanelle, thanks for the positive vibes!  Of course your wish will help!  Every little bit helps.

Michele, have fun at the LGFB class.  you'll be amazed at the nice stuff you get in your "goodie bag"!

Everyone else - I'm thinking of you all and sending good thoughts your way!

I'm starting to get a bit nervous, can't really focus or concentrate on my schoolwork today! I went this morning to pick out my flowers and get the supplies to make the bouquets.  Picking up the cake in the morning, and will start getting ready at about 11:00.  Ack!  Rain, rain, stay away, you can come ANY other day!

Peace to all,

Shelby 

micheleboots

I too am glad Princess Jojo is back...I think you should use your special powers to make sure Shelby, has the energy for her honeymoon night...Gotta make it legal..