Chemo Starting Sep 09

Pamelajo

A TE is a tissue expander.  I was slightly underweight......ok, alot underweight when all this started, so when they did my bi lateral mastectomy, they didn't have enough skin to put the tissue expander in and get the incision sewn shut.  Since the surgery, I've gained 26 pounds.  Sexy PS says I still need to gain more.  I'm 5'9" and 146 pounds now.  How big does he want me?  Anyway, he will have to put the smallest of tissue expanders in at first, then once those have reached full capacity, he will exchange them if I want so we can go bigger.  I'm not sure what size boobs I want, I just want them to look natural under a shirt.  Going back to a C for sure.  Right now, I look like a man with a big belly naked.  It's gross, but oh well.......what can I do.  My ladies were trying to snuff me.  They had to go.  Rest in peace mammories.

Tamoxifen has blessed me with a headache that won't quit.  Took my girls shopping today, and I woke up with this headache....took some tylenol and it's still here, so it must be the tamoxifen.  They say that's a side effect but it will go away in a couple weeks, or should.  So far, no more than normal hotflashes.  I am a bit on edge mood wise.  I think it has something to do with the unrelenting stress of the girls stepmom and possibly work.  I just have to take a deep breath and tell myself no one needs to die.  I can do this without bloodshed I'm sure. 

I'm starting to grow hair though.......ON MY CHIN!!!  Yea for estrogen reducing drugs.  My chemo knocked my one good ovary out of commision, so this started before the tamoxifen, but now....oh well, my beard should keep me warm this winter!  If I can't have hair on my head, I'll have it on my face.  Can you comb over chin hair onto your head?  I think I can, and will, once it grows long enough.  Then I'll hire myself out to the circus as the bearded lady, and I can quit my stressful job.  Gosh, thanks cancer! 

I also hope the lack of activity here is due to everyone feeling finer than frog hair.  Oh, I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for that. 

Love you ladies!  Take care and keep up the good work troops!

vickilynn

Anyone else had...

Taxotere on Tuesday and severe rash on my hands showed up yesterday... worse today.  Feels like  a burn.  Called the dr's office and talked to another dr.  Told me to take decadron, benadryl and use cortisone ointment. 

Pamelajo

I had that Vicki......right before the skin all peeled off.  Keep on the benadryl until the burning/itching goes away and then start really moisturizing with a good lotion (lanolin was awesome).  Took about 3 weeks for my skin to clear up.  Hopefully yours won't be so bad since you got on it early.

DomeGal

Good Morninig Ladies:

Hope that everyone had a good weekend....we put up Christmas lights on Saturday (well I supervised my son and BF)!  I cooked 3 meals on Saturday for my aunt who has been diagnosed with Carcinoid cancer that has spread to her liver and possibly lungs.  She had a tumor removed last year from her small intestine and her doctor neglected to send her for any kind of follow up chemo and now it has spread.  She has lost a LOT of weight.  Anyway, I am wiped out today but expected that I would be.  Not looking forward to the chair on Wed., but know that it will mean one less treatment.  Hope that you are all doing well and that you have a great week.

Pamelajo-love reading your posts!  You are too funny

positiveme

Hi Ladies

I hope everyone had a peaceful weekend. My children and I decorated the house this weekend so that is done. I am still having a real hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. It sounds like most of us are doing alot better than a month ago. I still have the slight burning in my eyes and can't wait for it to go away. I started my tamoxifen this morning and hopefully I won't even know I'm on it. My Onc said I have to take a 81mg aspirin everyday because it can cause blood clots. Any else hear this?

Chinablue- I need the neupogen shots every other day after tx for 5 shots. I gave them to myself in my stomach with no problem at all. Maybe this could save you some trips to the dr.

I am thinking of all of you as we continue this journey.

THINK POSITIVE

Catherine

chinablue

Whoa, give myself a shot? I am not ready for that.  Catherine, you are amazing.  Hats off to you!

I am ready to dive into Christmas...the music, the family, the decorations, the cookies... all of it.  I want to think about happy normal things.  Christmas is coming at just the right time this year.

I am off to my breast surgeon today.  I haven't seen him since I was discharged from the hospital in August.  My checkups have been with my darling ps.  Anyway, I want to talk my bs about the cording I have and whether he will be the one that will be monitoring my check ups after radiation. My onc says, it is up to the bs to order any tests or scans.  I will let you ladies know how it goes.

In the meantime, Happy Holidays.  Think snow.

barbt0323

Good afternoon!

I went for my biopsy this morning.  It ends up the second one I went for they did it on my primary lymph glands or something like that instead of the second area of concern.  Well, now after 4 rounds of chemo they really had a hard time finding it.  Said he saw a bunch of shadows.  So, ended up doing it in six different area which was not a whole lot of fun.  I guess the only good news about the whole thing is that it sounds like it is really reduced in size.

I then went out to my car and it would not start.  Thank goodness my husband was at home and he came by and took care of the problem.  Not a real good way to start the week.  I felt pretty good this weekend and got a lot done around the house.  This Thursday back to the chair - first Taxotere.

Hope you all have a good week......back to work.

Barb T  

Anonymous

Hello all,

My week last week was out of control and this week is shaping up the same way.  I am way behind in reading posts, but I will get caught up.  I've missed you all.  I will come back and post again soon.

It is freezing here, daytime high of 18.  Snow, snow and more snow!

Hugs,

Susan

BarbAnne41

Oh BarbT what a horrible start. I am so sorry and hope the rest of the week is smooth as silk. I am glad you got a lot done though.

VickiLynn-I am sorry about the rash, but it sounds like Pamela has a solution, is it the Taxotere? Hope you are feeling more "normal" soon, whatever that may be.

 China-I am with you a little snow some lights and cookies, anything but BC and chairs sounds good to me.

Catherine- Glad you got some decorating done, The Christmas spirit may strike you at any moment, I know a lot of it with me makes me want to cry so I have to avoid a bit of it, but I am trying. I hope your burning goes a way soon. 

Pamela- Sorry about the headache, your chin hair reminds me of the two hairs that showed up on my big toe a week ago. what the heck? It is always where you don't want it huh? Hope the headache goes away soon.

Well I am still on my break, until the 15th, and just trying to get lots of stuff done. My dauhter's 16th birthday party was last weekend and it kept me a the hubby hoppin' , it went really well, and we, the DH and I, are glad it is over. We love our daughter, but teenagers are just a whole lot of fun. And I am sure all of you can feel the sarcasm dripping off my tongue.

So today I was out running a thousand errands when I stopped in a fabric store I use to work for years ago. A lady I used to work with was working and she took a double take when she saw me and said, Oh Barb they have you on that nasty stuff, and I burst into tears. right there in the fabric store. She asked me where the cancer had been and very brief Q&A of what was going on, and touched my hand wishing me well. I don't know where all that emotion came from. I mean I was having a pretty good day, only a few chemo brained moments but getting lots of stuff done and boom. I guess I don't think about it and when someone brings it back to up, it just sort of spilled out of me. I probably have a lot of tears floating around in me I keep bottled up, one day I will cry until I am dry.

Anyway I thought you all could relate..

I hope you all are well, Susan, Holly, Kim, Onty, Jane, Patty, Mari, Marilou, and everyone else I am forgetting. 

Love and Hugs

Barbara

BarbAnne41

Didi, Neece, and Melinda too. I know I missed some others bu those just struck me!!

hbowser

Hi everyone,

Susan - I hope it was good out of control, if there is such a thing.

BarbT - What a way to start the week.  I am praying that the rest of your week is smooth sailing. I am glad that you had a good weekend.

Pamelajo - Please keep on posting.  I look forward to your comments since there is always something in them that makes me laugh.  Were you a stand-up comedian in a previous life?!

Catherine - Kudos to you for getting your house decorated this weekend.  I am so with you about how hard it is to get into the Christmas spirit.  Usually, I would go home to visit my family and my nieces and nephews help me get into the holiday spirit.  Since I won't be going home this year, I just can't seem to get in the mood. 

Barbara - Don't feel bad about bursting into tears.  I feel like crying all the time.  I just blame everything on chemo.  I went into the office today (usually, I work from home on Mondays since I had treatment on Thursday), but the payroll person had a cold and so I had to go in to do payroll.  I don't understand why everyone wants to get paid. 

We hired a payroll person right before I was diagnosed, so it was good that we did.  However, I almost burst into tears because there I was staring at the screen not knowing what my next step was?!  It hasn't been that long that I was doing this!  For goodness sake, I helped write the policy and procedure when the last person left and we realized she didn't have anything documented.  Where is my sharp ability to multi-task? Processing information like a computer?  Does that come back?

I am still experiencing some bone/muscle aches.  What other meds. can my onc. give me since Tramadol causes dizziness and nausea?  Any I can suggest?

I know I missed a lot of you, but I don't want to lose this so I am not going back up.  Have a great week, everyone. 

Holly

"I smile because you are my sister.  I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it."

msmpatty

Great to hear from everyone today!

Pamelajo...You had me thinking all this weight you'd gained was a bad thing ..now you fess up to weighing 120 lbs at 5' 9"!   Good heavens girl, it's amazing you had any boobs in the first place.  I think you sound just perfect right now...chin wrap and all.

Vickilynn...I'm not doing Taxotere, but I did get a rash and hives on AC.  My Onc prescribed a daily Claritin and it worked.   He said to keep taking it so I take one every morning.  Claritin seems to be less drying than Benadryl and doesn't make me sleepy.

Domegal & Catherine...Congrats on getting the decorations up.   A friend has volunteered to help me decorate this year, which is much appreciated, I just hope she's also up for taking it all down!

Chinablue...good luck with the surgeon!   I've also been told that my surgeon will be my primary follow-up person for the next five years.  Luckily I like really her.  She plays the violin, I play the cello...may be we'll start doing duets since we'll be seeing so much of each other.

Barb T...good news on the shrinkage.    I was more sore and bruised after my original biopsy than I was after surgery.  I hope that is not the case with you,  but it sounds like they shot around quite a bit. Good luck with your first Taxotere.

Susan...stay warm!   I hope things calm down for you.

Barbara...hmmm...thanks for the encouraging words on teenagers.   My son turned 13 last week.  Dare I hope that teenage boys are easier than teenage girls?   I have not cried once throughout this whole experience...except while watching TV when I just sob over the stupidest stuff.   Obviously those tears are right beneath the surface.

Holly...sorry, no advice on the pain killer.  I've only had very minor achiness on Taxol (4 of my 12 weeklies done) and Tylenol has done the trick.  Hope you find something that works.

Patty

vickilynn

Good to hear from many of you... the holidays are bringing a mix of emotions for me, too.

The rash on my hands is spreading around both hands.  It sure makes my hands sensitive.  But I don't have to wash the dishes!!!   Claritin sounds like a better choice than Benadryl.   I can't say I'm glad some of you have experienced it too - but you know what I mean.  I'm glad I'm not alone.

Had a bit of meltdown today.  I went to the store with my DH who left me at the birthday card aisle (3 bdays this month in our family) and I could not pick out even 1 card.  I would read them, and put them back, and read them again, and ... then I just stood there and stared at the rack for about 15 minutes.  Honestly.... my brain just couldn't make any decisions.  I then hurried with the shopping cart to find DH and he saw the look in my eyes and said, "OK, we're done". 

Guess it was sort of like staring at the payroll computer?

I'm done for tonight.  Sorry I don't even have the energy to write each of you... but know that I read each of your posts and respond in my head!!!  Prayers and hugs and cups of cocoa and cookies for all of you.

Vickilynn

Scoobydoo

Hello Ladies.

Holly is percocet the same as tramadol?  I also get pretty severe bone and joint pain from taxol and percocet does the trick.  It doesnt make me nauseas or dizzy.  It can cause constipation though.  Normally one pill every 4 hours does the trick.  After a few days I can normally go to motrin for pain. 

Vickilynn- sorry to hear about the rash.  I sure look forward to having my full brain power again.  Seems like nothing is really clear anymore.  It is hard for me to work from home.  My concentration level is very low.   

Just got back from the lab.  I really am praying that I have a normal WBCcount.  If not, I will have to go back on neupogen, which I really do not want to do.  My tx is on Thursday.  I am not looking forward to it.  The actual infusion is fine but two days later I will be in excrutiating pain.  Ugh. 

Thinking of all you ladies today and hoping you have no SEs.

Anita

Neece

good morning SOS ladies

I am just coming out of the tx tunnel today but still feel as weak as a kitten and dizzy much of the time. Not as much nausea this time though. Each tx cycle is differentdon't you find? The last two times I have also had quite bad numbness in hands and feet but didn't have that before. It's all so confusing.

My brain is so addled now that I can barely imagine the work I used to do (quite complex, multitasking, problem solving, remembering LOTS of things!!!) I agree buying a birthday card just is too much at present. Which reminds me have to buy a card for MIL's birthday this weekend....

I think we are all limping over or towards the finish line of this awful awful jurney we have been on this year. It is starting to feel all too hard. But the finish line is in sight at least.

My poor brain can't cope with individual messages just now but please know I am trying to keep up with all your posts and thinking of you all....

much love

jadams1264

Hello SOSisters.... sorry I haven't posted for a few days.  Tired is my new name, worked Saturday, Sunday tried to get all weekend stuff caught up and last night was grandaughter's band concert.  Went for labs today, husband told PA I haven't been feeling well and had sore spot under arm.  Sore spot is right where incision is where they took SNB.  She checked, said we'd keep an eye on it.  Nothing abnormal.  Fatigue is probably the cummulative effect from all the chemo's.  Doesn't make me feel a darn bit better and Thursday is txt # 5 of 6.  But I can see light at the end of the tunnel, at least for the chemo part!

Holly - have you tried Claritin for your muscle/bone pain?  Some of our sisters swear by it.  I am with you, can't wait to be done with the chemo, my last one is on New Year's Eve.  I sure hope our ability to remember, multi-task comes back!  Right now I'm using a lot of sticky notes!

Pamelajo - I'd love to be 5'9" and 146 lbs.  I love to be 146 lbs!  Just imagine me as short and dumpy!  Is getting TE's painful?  How's it going with the Tamoxifen?  Headache gone?  We don't want to hear about chin hairs!  You just crack me up!  Hope your week at work is going well and people are being kind.

Vickilynn - sorry about your rash.  Sounds like Pamelajo had good advice.  Can they slow down the drip on your taxotere?  My onc nurse swears the slower it goes, the less side effects.  I can relate to the birthday card incident.  I have a tough time making a decision the best of times and with chemo brain it is just too much at times.

DomeGal - glad your decorations are up.  My daughter & grandkids did mine and they are going to take them down (not sure they know that yet).  Hope you have an easy day in the chair tomorrow, will be thinking of you.

Catherine - I'm going to miss you in the chair on Thursday although I know you are glad that is behind you!  Glad you got your decorations up, the spirit will come.  We are all going to send you some Christmas spirit.  FA LA LA LA LA....  In with China Blue, shots in the stomach.  You are a brave lady, I can't even watch when they draw blood.  Any se's from the Tamoxifen?

China Blue - glad your are getting into Christmas.  It is the most beautiful time of the year for so many reasons!  How did it go with your breast surgeon?  Interested to hear who schedules tests after radiation.  I am thinking snow for anywhere but NC!

Barbt0323 - I sure hope your day today was better than yesterday!  When do you get the results from your biopsy?  Great news about the reduction in size.  Since you have already done radiation and chemo it obviously works!  Hope your first taxotere is easy, I'll be in the chair too thinking of you.

Susan - I'm sending you some NC weather.  Suppose to be 70 here tomorrow.  Sorry you have been having an out of control week, hope it is going better for you.  Anything we can do to help?  I am sending you some virtual calm and a piece of chocolate!

BarbAnne - hair on your toes?  You and Pamelajo crack me up and give us some much to look forward too!  I remember my daughter when she was 16 (it will get better in a few years).  Grandson will be 15 next month, grandaughter will be 13 on next birthday and I can only think to myself - it's now daughter's turn to endure the teenage years.  I also ran into an old friend who asked all sorts of questions and instead of making me sad it really ticked me off.  I'm not sure this was the right attitude but I didn't want to talk BC.  Sometimes the kindest comments are none at all.

Patty - grandson is defintely easier than his sister and a lot easier than his mother was as a teenager.  However, having said that I think it just depends on the child.  Hope you are doing well.  Are you doing taxol?  I can't remember from one post to the next.

Anita - we all suffer from chemo brain or as Pamelajo says we are chemotarted.  It too shall pass.  Be thinking of you on Thursday while we are in the chair.

Neece - good to hear from you.  Sorry you have been feeling the side effects.  We can all relate.  Yes, I agree that each treatment is different.  My last one was fairly easy which makes me very anxious about the one coming up on Thursday.  But you are right, we are about finished with this chemo business so we can handle whatever it throws our way.

To everyone I didn't post to, hope you are doing well and having a good week.  No nasty side effects.

Take care.  Thoughts & prayers are with you.

Jane

Anonymous

All of you are so dear to me!  I just finished reading all of your posts, I love reading our story.  You are all doing so well considering the situation.  I have had a really rough time getting back to work.   It has been very busy, and we have had a number of staff out sick, so that is always a challenge.  I am just not up to my usual energizer bunny speed yet.  The holidays are always a challenge at work, because I work with very low income families, and they are very stressed trying to keep it all together for their kids.  We try to help, and run a holiday project which allows the families to ask for help, or give help or both.  We also have a number of middle class families who adopt another family.  It gets complex.  We are also having inspections for a quality rating, which sort of makes chemo seem like a breeze.  On top of all of the regular family and work stuff,  I am just plain tired.  My boss is not sympathetic either so that makes it hard.  Last week she asked me to proof read a note that she was sending home to parents, and I mentioned that I was having a hard time with word choices when I write, and that I keep messing up and using the wrong word.  I said that it was just chemo brain and I hoped it would get better soon.  She said, "how long are you going to use chemo as an excuse?"  I really wasn't making an excuse, just stating a fact, I have to work hard to compensate and I think I am doing fairly well.  She just wants this to be over, and for me to go back to the do everything, so she doesn't have to do anything girl I was before.  My life will never be the same again.  I know it will be better, and I will regain much of what I had before, but I will never look at it the same way again.  I am not sure how to even talk to her any more.  I definitely don't feel like I can have a down day, or share with her how I feel.  I just know that I am still healing, and I will be starting Tamoxifen next week, so I hope I don't have any se's from that.  I need my job, and I love so much about it.  I don't know, it is just frustrating.  Thank you for letting me vent.  I know that many of you are still going through treatments, and you are in my thoughts daily.  I also know that many of you have surgeries coming up I am sending you good vibes, albeit cold ones!  Jane, thank you for the NC weather and the chocolate, I will enjoy them in my dreams!

Sorry this was a me, me, me post, but if I can't say it to you who can I say it too?  I will try to stay current with the posts so I can post to all of you next time.

Sweet dreams,

Susan

chinablue

Happy Snow Day!!!

Working for a school district allows me to get one of the the first calls announcing a snow day.  So, at 5 am this morning I woke my 14 year old daughter up and told her.  She jumped up and yelled, "Yahoo" at the top of her lungs.  Ahh, it's the little things.

 I had a great meeting with my breast surgeon.  He assured me that the cording will settle down on its own and to keep using stretching.  He also said that the sock feeling have under my arm will eventually go away.  He said it will take a long time for both, a year. 

Here's the funny thing.  He said that it is up to my onc to schedule check ups.  He will monitor the mastectomy, but any further cancer checks are up to my onc.  My onc told me it would be my bs. Hmm. I have a great deal of confidence in my bs (hot shot at sloan kettering in nyc).  I am thinking of switching onc's after chemo.  My bs told me he could recommend some one at Sloan Kettering. My bs said I would probably I would need checks every 3 or 4 months after chemo/rads.  He said they usually do blood work and rarely mri's or further tests because they cause too much anxiety and do not help with prognosis.

Hugs to all of you. 

positiveme

Good Morning (not)

The weather here is terrible. Windy, cold and really rainy. I have had two days on tamoxifen and have been up every hour on the hour. I take ambien for sleep and that seems to work for 2 hours. I have some hot flashes but so far I can deal with it. If the sleep thing keeps up I will talk to my onc about it.

Chinablue- They are really needles and it didn't hurt. I am a baby with them also but they really didn't hurt. I started out with my neighbor (nurse) giving them to me but I didn't want to keep bothering her and wanted to do it on my time. I am glad you are in the Christmas spirit.

Barb0323- It sounds like the chemo really shrunk that tumor. It is great to hear that this poison really works.

BarbAnne- I am starting to think I also have alot of tears stored up that will come out soon. Maybe than I can get in the holiday spirit.

hbrowser- The only thing I took was oxycodone because the bone pain was really intense.

Patty- I am not looking forward to taking all that holiday stuff down.

Vickilynn- Sounds like a down day yesterday. I hope you had a peaceful sleep and today will be better.

Anita- Wishing you lots of WBC's

Neece- Hoping you feel stronger everyday.

Jane- I will be thinking of you on Thrusday and keeping in mind that you only have one left after that.

Susan- Snow, snow go away. I am sorry you boss is such a Jerk! Vent away anytime.

I will thinking of all of you ladies going through tx this week and sending.......

POSITIVE THOUGHTS

Catherine

BarbAnne41

Hey Ladies-

 Susan- You vent anytime you want. Are you sure you don't work for a teenage girl? She sounds like she has the maturity of one. I understand and am sending you whatever vibes you want.

Catherine- You are brave to do the shots. I think I would need to be shipwrecked or have been abandoned after a plane wreck to give myself shots, of course I don't know why I would be injecting myself with drugs then? I agree about the tears I was telling someone at work about the fabric store incident and I burst into tears again. I feel like a water balloon-you never know when it will burst! I hope you weather gets better, but here in Michigan it is super windy and getting really cold, so brace yourself.

Patty- Like Jane said it really does depend on the kid. My daughter is an honor roll student, with lots of friends, no drug or alcohol use, and is not pregnant. And she says please and thank you, for the most part, but as a kid I was the one who had very little was picked on etc.. etc.. and always wondered if, probable believed too, if I had some of what the "popular" girls had I would be happy, well now I am the mom of a pseudo "popular" girl,  and sometimes it is a lot of work, and I spend A LOT of time reminding her of how I grew up and how INTENSELY grateful she needs to be. For the most part she is, but there are moments where, being a teenager, she is insensitive, and ungrateful. It is all good though and for the most part I am very proud of how she treats others, and herself. I hope you are doing well!

Holly- Payroll, I have a degree in accounting, that could make me cry without chemo! I hope your bone pain is easing and you are feeling better.

Jane- Yes I can't wait for the day she has kids. It is fun to watch the cycle of things isn't it? I will  be thinking about you tomorrow! Glad you had help with the decorating.

Neece-I am so sorry about the weakness and se's, I hope you are feeling better all the time. Your sisters will help you get to the finish line-I promise!

China- Happy snow day to you! The part of Michigan we are in doesn't get a lot of those, except the last two years when we were stuck in a snow pattern. I hope you had some nice cocoa, cookies and a nap! I agree you may feel more confident with another onc monitoring your progress. Enjoy the snow!

Anita- I am keeping my fingers crossed on the WBC-hope it is good news!

VickiLynn- Sorry about the meltdown, but on the bright side at least you DH can pick up on the signals! I am also sorry about the rash, maybe a daily claritin would do it, Or maybe an Alvert? Those come in nice orange chew ables! Anyway I hope you feel better,

Well we had our work Christmas party and my closest girlfriend gave be a heated electric throw, so I am going to go lay under it until I make dinner.

Love and hugs

Barbara

Scoobydoo

Hi ladies.

Well the WBC count was a low 2.6.  My Onc Nurse called me to see if I have a fever.  I told her no that I was feeling fine so I guess my tx for tomorrow is still on.  My guess is the onc will put me back on neupogen shots.  I like Barbara could not give myself those shots.  My sweet husband does it for me.  I still hate them though.  I get so nervous every time he gives them to me.  I will get my refill tomorrow of percocet (oxycodone) to help with bone pain.  Taxol is known to cause pretty severe bone and joint pain. 

Barbara - man could I use a heated throw.  That is an awesome gift.  Seems I am either really cold or really hot.  So weird.  When I was going through AC I was always hot.  With taxol I am always cold.

Susan- Wow that comment from your boss was so insensitive.  I would have been furious.  You are a much better person than me.  I think it is great that you enjoy your job and are able to work during chemo.  I work from home when I feel well enough.

My hubby picked up my decadron that I have to take at 9pm and 3am.  I will be sky high on steriods the next couple of days.  Pain will start on Day 3 which will be Saturday.  My daughter has her Christmas sleepover with like 7 girls on Friday.  I didnt want to cancel it because of chemo.  Hopefully by the time the pain starts her friends will be going home. 

I am thinking of all you ladies that have tx tomorrow.  I sure hope we all have minimal SEs. 

Neece

Scoobydoo you are a hero having a sleepover while on chemo! I am always amazed at how much you wonderful women do for your families even in the midst of the worst chemo stuff. You are incredible.

Susan I hope your dreadful boss never has to go thru chemo because if she does she will surely realise what an unbelievably unkind and unsupportive comment she made. How did you not slap her?

Chinablue it is unsettling when the right hand does not know what the left hand does, in the doctor world,  isn't it? I hope you get it sorted out who is responsible for monitoring you after chemo is done. It is something I have been wondering about too. I think there is this emotional 'no man's land' that must happen once active treatment is finished - sort of "who is looking after me now?" I guess we will all have to learn to live with the anxiety about bc forever.

Pamelajo

Good evening ladies.

 Well, I'm glad to hear most of us are fairing well.......or at least as well as can be expected.

The chin hair growth is alarming and I'm getting hair down south at a rapid rate as well.  Work sucks, as usual, but luckily, I am off this Friday.  I plan to get a little more Christmas shopping done.  Maybe just me and Dennis out for a quiet day.  I'd like that.

 Came home tonight and fixed supper plus made goodies to take to work tomorrow for one of my guys 60th birthday.  My birthday was last Friday.....everyone at work pitched in and got me an ice cream cake.  Add that to my ass and I'm now 148 lbs.  WOOHOO......large and in charge.

It was soooooooo windy here today with snow and sleet  coming all day.  My work husband and I went on an outing checking out some army equipment we need to work on, and I almost got blown away walking from the truck to the building.  He had to grab the sleeve of my coat to keep me from falling over.  Dang 50mph wind gusts.  We are a touchy feely group, but the way he grabbed me, if someone had seen, I'd be the talk of the base.  Had he not grabbed me, I would have scratched gravel.  Oh well.......  Home now and warm and toasty with all the critters inside where it's warm.  Thinking of hitting the sack early since tomorrow is the last day I have to get up at 4:30 a.m. for the week.  I am exceptionally pleased about that. 

Tamoxifen sucks.  I had explosive runs last night and this headache won't go away.  I'm starting to take it about 6 pm each night so maybe I will sleep through the illness.  This is all supposed to stop in a couple weeks.  I've heard of the blood clots with Tamoxifen, but my onc didn't suggest any asprin.  Maybe I should call her about it.

I finally got my bs to write a letter stating I cannot go back to my explosives handler job due to lymphedema.  That was like pulling teeth.

Well girls, I'm tuckered.  better hit the hay before dennis so I can go to sleep without listening to him snore the curtains off the rods.

Love to all.

vickilynn

Susan - Everyone's right about your boss.  Clueless. So sorry you have to put up with her.

I called the dr. yesterday and said I really need someone to look at my rash on my hands.  It's more than a simple rash and is spreading around my hands and it "burns" - enough to keep me awake at night.  I wanted someone to tell me that it was either chemo related or something else was going on. 

The nurse agreed to see me this morning and she confirmed it was from the Taxotere.  And she said it will likely go up my arms and may affect my feet as well.  She said, "Let me go talk to the dr."   She left and came back and handed me a prescription for a cream to rub on it and started to leave.  I stopped her and said, "Is there anything I need to do or not do?  How long will this last?" 

She said, "It will go away after you stop chemo."  And I told her I have 2 more tx's left.  She said, "Don't quote me on this, but I think the dr. is stopping your tx" 

I looked at my husband and started to cry.  She hugged me, said, "God bless you" and left.   I just hugged Don and cried.

At my last dr.'s visit I asked her if it was important I finish the taxotere and she said, "I just came back from a conference on bc and it is very important that the "taxanes" be finished."   So this announcement that they will likely stop my txs was like a punch in the stomach... like saying, "God bless you - that's all we can do". 

I've had all afternoon to calm down and know that God is in control... whether I finish or don't finish the txs, I know that I am in His hands.  And I know it doesn't mean I will have a recurrence, but it was a bit of a shake up. 

With my Triple Neg., the end of txs is all they offer right now (I did have a mast. in July).  So when I'm done, I just wait and see what happens.

And I really won't know until I see the real dr. on Monday what they will do.  Meantime, I'll use my cream and try to focus on the positives - like being DONE with chemo!  ... and growing some hair again (lost most of my eyelashes this week, too).

Thanks for letting ME vent.

VickiLynn

hbowser

Good evening to all.

Kudos to all who had the energy to put up holiday decorations.  I am just happy that I got most of my Christmas shopping done; all online.  Gotta love it.

Susan - I can't believe your boss.  How long am I going to use chemo as an excuse?  Until I am done with chemo and it is out of my body.  At least my chemo is temporary, what is your excuse for your stupidity?  I have no patience for people's stupid/insensitive comments.  I am very fortunate that my boss has been absolutely super.  She is always telling me that I come first and that work will always be here so just take care of myself.  Today I was told that someone donated a week of their time to me.  I cried.  Employees at my work have now donated 3 weeks to me!! 

Vickilynn - Sorry to hear about your meltdown and your rash.  It does seem like we can't make snappy decisions anymore.  I hope you have more energy today. 

Neece - Praying that today is a better day for you than yesterday and that you are stronger and the dizziness is completely gone.

Jane - Thanks for your suggestion.  I am taking Claritin the day after tx and for the next five days.  I don't think Claritin is doing anything for me. 

I think it was Neece who said each tx is different.  I can't agree more.  I woke up at 3:00 am this morning with my feet and ankles feeling like it is on fire and itching like crazy.  I slathered on the hydrocortisone and took a benedryl and finally was able to fall back to sleep.  On top of that I have been suffering from constipation for the past couple of days and not to sound too indelicate, but called the doctor this morning b/c of some symptoms and she tells me that I might have hemorrhoids!  What?!  I don't think I have ever suffered from that in my life.  I am doing everything right, drinking water like a fish, eating prunes , high fiber.  I can't win for lose.

Scoobydoo - Sorry about your low WBC.  I am going to echo what Neece said.  Wow, sleepover with 8 girls?!!!  I hope you have some earplugs

Pamelajo - Happy Belated Birthday!  Gosh, I am sorry to hear about your SEs from Tamoxifen.  Glad you finally got your letter.  What will your new job be?

To anyone I missed, I will catch you next  time.  I think I am going to try to get into the holiday spirit and start my Christmas cards. 

Take care, Holly 

Anonymous

Hello to my favorite ladies,

Thank you for all of your posts of support.  I had a better day at work today.  My boss isn't a horrible person, but she doesn't have any filter at all about anything she says.  Several staff members heard the comment, and I think they were more upset by it than I even was.  She had a scare with pancreatic cancer a few years ago, (the mass ended up being b9, and she had it removed laproscopically sp?) and she was a total wreck.  The whole time I was waiting for surgery she compared her experience to mine, she couldn't understand why I wanted to take 6 weeks off to recover, she kept telling me that I would feel great and be up and around in 2 weeks.  I finally described the TRAM procedure in graphic detail, (in addition to removing both of my breasts, they will make an incision from hip bone to hip bone and dissect muscles, etc.), at that point she just said "Oh, well I guess I can see taking a little time off."  We work well together on most things and the supervisor above her is wonderful, as is the HR department, so while she is an insensitive pain, I do have a lot of support and the kids and families make it all worth while.

Holly, good luck on the Christmas cards!  And you are done with your shopping, you are my hero.

VickiLynn, you are a wise woman, indeed we are all in God's hands.  I am sorry that you are having such a hard time with tx.  I believe that you have done your very best, and if they stop your tx it will be okay.  You are in my prayers always.  I think as you feel better and are able to get back to some level of normal you will be better able to deal with things too.  I love you.

Pamela, it sounds like your weather is even worse than mine has been this week.  Sometimes it is fun to be the talk of work .  Is Katie home from college yet?  My oldest, Brigid, is due home any minute I am looking forward to her break.  I'm sure I will be ready for her to go back come January.  I hope your ex is behaving himself, not likely I know, but one can always hope.

Neece, I think of you often in the middle of your summer.  I hope you are feeling very well.  I know you are still in the midst of your treatments, but I agree with you, when I had my last tx I felt a little lost.  I will have visits with my onc every 6 months for the next 5 years, but after all of the intensity of surgery and chemo waiting until May to see anyone again seems strange.  I guess I just have to be a big girl and take care of myself.

Scooby, I am proud of you for having a sleepover for your daughter, she will have fond memories I am sure.  Just be sure to go easy on yourself and get some rest.  I will be thinking about you tomorrow, and good luck with the shots.

Barbara, enjoy your throw, that sounds wonderful.

Catherine, I am sorry you are having crappy weather.  I will be joining you on the Tammox train next Tuesday.  I am already having hot flashes and night sweats so I guess I am getting in practice.  What time of day do you take it? 

China, don't you love snow days?  We had two in October, and it was super wonderful.  Stay warm.

I hope that anyone I missed is not offended.  You are all wonderful!

Hugs,

Susan

flacracker

Hi There Sisters,

Sorry I haven't got back to you all sooner.I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!  My last chemo treatment Nov.19. and of course it kick my butt for about a week but it is all done!!! My fingernails are funky so I asked my ono she said that they might fall off within the next 2 monhth and it was from the chemo drug taxotere. Some are blue at the base of the nail. If they come off and cancer is gone I am fine with that. Now, which was today I started the drug Tamoxifen (like some of you all), I willl let you know what SE I have Which I HOPE NONE!!! I get my port out Friday! Yea!!!! I am glad cause I have never got use to it!

I have TE's since I had my surgery Aug. 4th. I had 500 cc so far. My PS stopped when I started chemo because the risk of infection. So I get my next fill on Dec 28 which is 100 cc each fill. And they are painful for about 2-3 days.

Hugs

wanda

Anonymous

Hello Wanda,

My nails are exactly as you described.  I will let you know what happens.  It is good to hear from you, take care.

Susan

jadams1264

Hello SOSisters ...well here I sit in the chair.  I keep telling myself this is the next to the last one and it seems so good to be able to say that.  Am having some problems with swelling and they are going to go ahead and send me for an eckocardiogram.  Have been have leg weakness and shortness of breath - all of which is probably caused by the chemo - probably the Herceptin.  If my ecko is not good probably will stop the Herceptin which I am suppose to do until Sept. 2010.

Susan - sorry your coworker is an ignat.  Some people have no common sense and I believe one of these days her words will come back to haunt her.  In the meantime, glad you have a good support group at your work.  My coworkers and boss have been wonderful and I am so grateful, the week I am off I delegate my job among 4 people and they still call me at home with questions (which I don't mind and encourage).  They laugh that it takes 4 of them to do what I do by myself.  I have to confess that it takes me a lot longer to get things done than it use to, I'm hoping my multi-tasking will get better as the chemo gets out of my system.  We also adopt a family at Christmas and it is one of my events I plan each year.  This year the family will get their gifts and open some of them on Monday and I will miss it since it is my week at home.  I have made them promise to take lots of pictures.  Hope you are feeling good and work is going better.  Any relief from the snow yet?  It did turn cold today but I sent you some of our 73 degree weather from yesterday!

ChinaBlue - did you enjoy your snow day?  Where do you live?  My daughter and I used to enjoy the snow days too when we lived in NJ.  Sounds like maybe you need to switch your onc to Sloan Kettering.  At least, all your doctors and appts would be in the same place.  You will know what is the right decision for you.

Catherine - see why I don't miss NJ?  It was 73 here yesterday with beautiful sunshine, altho it's going to be in the 50's today.  Sorry to hear about the Tamoxifen - I have hot flashes already and understand they will be worse on the Tamoxifen.  The hot flashes/night sweats will mess with your sleep too, so be prepared if it hasn't happened yet.  Are you having any mood swings?  Hope you are feeling better today and the snow melts soon!

BarbAnne41- your daughter sounds wonderful and in this day and age I don't say that to a lot of parents!  I have a friend who has 6 kids and are the most wonderful group of kids I have ever seen.  It does so depend on the parents!  Your heated throw sounds great, some of my friend have bought the snuggies (as seen on TV) but say your backside gets cold when you are up and about.  Hope you are having a good day.  

ScobbyDo - we are chair mates today.  How is it going?  Are you just doing taxol?  Sorry you are having the bone pain.  I have been having some myself, can usually knock it out with Advil.  So glad I haven't had to resort to the narcotics.  They mess me up so bad not to mention the constipation.  I take my decatron in the morning and at bedtime.  Don't know why you should have to get up at 3 to take it.  I remember those sleepovers my daughter use to have, you know you aren't going to get any sleep!  You are a brave woman.

Neece - hope you are doing well and over the side effects.  I am so glad to be able to say the next one is the last one.  We will be about a week apart.  I never got my energy back from txt #4 altho the side effects were few.  Now I have this swelling thing going on - maybe it would have been better to have a few side effects.  You are so right about each txt being different from the other.  

PamelaJo - HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!  Chin hairs - darn, I was hoping I wouldn't have anymore of those.  My hair is actually growing even tho I am not through with chemo.  Seems to be growing more on the sides over my ears, maybe 1/4" long.  Rest of head still looks like it's shaved and can't feel any hair at all in the front.  I may have a comb over myself - from side to side.  Let us know what your doc says about the aspirin.  Are you having any side effects besides the headaches?  Hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings?  Hope you enjoy your day off tomorrow, my last day at work then off for my ucky chemo week!

Vickilynn - I am so sorry for your upsetting news.  You need to have a prepared list for the doctor.  I am taking Herceptin for HER2+ which is the most aggressive form of BC.  I am suppose to take it for a year but may not be able to, depends of my Eckocardiogram.  Had a few heart problems and Herceptin can cause heart damage.  The recommended course is one year but I may only get it through the end of December.  I would be short about 1/2 of my treatments.  I am with you, it is all in God's hands and I know that everything happens for a reason!  How is your rash doing, is the cream helping at all?  Will be praying for you and a good report from your doctor on Monday.

Holly - Have you tried Senokot-S for the constipation?  It is not an indelicate subject on this website, we have all been there and tried a multitude of remedies.  Whatever works is what you need to do!  I started on my Christmas cards on Sunday and am glad to say I should be finished today.  I'd be able to say I was done if I had of remembered to bring them with me this morning.  Going to try for an H1N1 shot this afternoon, have to go to the health dept. and stand in line.  Oh joy!  Since you are already having hot flashes and night sweats I will be interested to hear how your fair on the Tamoxifen.  I also have hot flashes and night sweats and my onc said be prepared, it will only be worse!  Of course, I know we are all different so am hoping he is wrong.

Wanda - good to hear from you.  Glad you are done with your chemo.  Sorry to hear about your nails, I had one that was loose, thought I was going to lose it but it hung in there.  So many of you are starting tamoxifen around the same time that by time the rest of us start we will should know what to expect.  Let us know how you do.

To all the ladies in the chair today, hope things are going well and no side effects.  To everyone I forgot to mention, I will try to do better next time.

Thinking of you all.  Thoughts & prayers are with you!

Jane

positiveme

Hello All

Scoobydoo- Good luck tomorrow with tx.

Pamelajo- Hooray for being able to sleep in alittle. How many days have you been on tamox? Did the bowel issues come out of nowhere?

Vickilynn- We are ALL in His hands. We do what we can and the rest is up to Him.

Holly- Did you try Miralax. You put a capful in a drink everyday. I does work.

Susan- I take my tamox in the morning after breakfast. The only se is I have been waking up every hour and I hope this stops soon.

Flacracker- Congrats on finishing chemo!!

Jane- Hopefully the echo will be fine and you can continue your tx's. Let us know how you make out.

THINK POSITIVE

Catherine