MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Boing....boing....boing.....Happy bouncing Eli! We are so happy that you are able to do so once again.
Well, wonders never do cease! DH put up Christmas lights (outside) yesterday - first time in about 5 years I think. Also he and DS brought home a real tree, which I think is the first real tree since before DS was even born (20yrs ago). It is not the fullest nor the most sought after I'm sure. But DS was so proud that he picked it out and cut it down all by himself, so I think it is the most beautiful one we have ever had! Got the lights on it today, will do some decorating tomorrow.
When I was first dx, even though I didn't have a really sweet tooth, I gave up sugary treats. I was more of a chips/cheetos kinda gal. Well things seem to have changed direction and I seem to be making up for lost time - yikes. I really do enjoy baking and of course along with that comes the taste testing. I still can't resist a good feed of Cheetos though. Haven't been a drinker for many a year, so that has not been an issue for me.
Hi TB90 - Sounds like you have a great support group to help you get through the holidays. Wishing you quick recovery and nothing but the best of results. -
My only beef with sugar is the weight it seems to add to my hips!
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Elimar - thank you! Beautiful! -
It seems the last couple of weeks on the local news channel there has been a story about cancer, such as, if you exercise more you raise your chances of not getting cancer, if you eat medium cook meat not well done, more fruit, less sugar, and it goes on and on. So my question is explain to the people that did all that and still get cancer, why. My opinion and it doesn't count for much is, you do the best for you. And like NativeMainer said moderation is good, abstinence is bad. If what is said about all the shouldn't where factual no one would get cancer right. You just need to make smart choices, yes smoking causes lung cancer, tanning booths raise your chances of getting skin cancer, but not always (no I'm not suggesting to do either) I just think we need not to be so hard on ourselves, if we have that one glass of wine or we don't do 1hour of exercise everyday, like life, cancer is a crap shoot, some people get it some people don't.
Sorry I'll get off my soap box, I just think it horrible that after everything we all through we shouldn't feel the need to set blame on top of everything else. Again this is only my opinion. And thank you ladies for being here and sharing, it's always makes me feel like I'm never alone in this fight. -
yup, mstrouble16, I completely agree! After my 1st dx in '96, I got the notion in my head that my BC was primarily because of something I had eaten. So, I started eating almost very little (also because some a**hole doctors made me think I wouldn't be here much longer and combined with chemo, nothing tasted good). Lost lots of weight, too much weight. Sure beat myself up over it all..... Back then, there wasn't the internet or the online support, I was so alone with a 3-yr old.
This time, I have my hunches. Medical team says the time frame put in a job where I was a 2nd year teacher, teaching special ed and they put me in this old portable that reeked (they insisted they cleaned the carpet, but i smelled it and it wasn't true), it leaked in the rain, the lighting was horrible, there was a "funny" smell and feel about it. And most afternoons I started getting a headache and sinus problems about the same time. There hadn't been a class in that portable for a couple years (it was used primarily for storage and occasional meetings), I feel there was something there that contributed to BC... plus all the stress that year put on me (a special ed class in a magnet school, teaching multiple grades, same curriculum, same assessments and my principal asking me why my kids weren't performing like the high-achieving GATE kids, really??? Because they're in special ed you idiot Mr. Principal! Plus parents absolutely insisted that their kids didn't have to do homework, that's what school is for and if I wanted to give them homework, it was my job to help them with it! Really?) And when I wasn't in the classroom or going to classes myself, I was either preparing for class or doing my own homework. Oh, and maybe getting 5 hours of sleep a night, if I was lucky. I'm sure that whole experience together that year affected my health in a negative way.
So, I absolutely refuse to beat myself up this time, it just happened... Like earthquakes in places not usually known for earthquakes, it just happens. And, yes, I'll get down off my soap box now too.
Sorry, that's just been building up for a while... So many people in my life wanting to know how "I gave myself cancer".... -
TB90, we live in Greece, where wine with dinner is a way of life. I have cut back, but I refuse to give up wine completely. My chances of having the stupid cancer come back anyway are pretty good, and if I have a relapse in 1, 3 or 10 years, I would feel like such an idiot for having skipped my beloved red wine all those years. So, for me it is one of those QOL trade offs. I stick to 3 glasses or less a week and I have gotten the hang of non-alcoholic beer for those times when I am tired of drinking water.
I do watch my diet and I do skip the fries and the cheese and stick to fish, lean protein and veggies for the most part. I also work out in a gym 3X a week and walk on the other days. All that is ok for me and does not feel like some sort of giant sacrifice. So my take is that you have to do the best you can, but you also have to live a little. Otherwise what would be the point of having suffered through all that blasted treatment? -
2TA mentions something that I think could be the root of many of our health problems. I don't have any scientific study to base it on, but I do believe that a lack of sleep can cause a vulnerable state for our bodies where we have less defense against illness and disease. I think that lack of sleep also contributes to a body's stress level and that stress makes us an easier target for illness and disease too. THAT is the way I think it works.
I know there is an "anti-cancer diet" and it has generated a lot of profit for those touting it. Wouldn't it be better to just eat (and exercise) for overall good health? And isn't that just common sense? (You can pay me now.)
I also have the belief that when people start to rely on the supplements (or some such magic bullet behavior that is supposed to keep cancer away) that they are doing nothing more than trying to substitute that for a LACK in one of the three basic areas of good health: Nutrition, exercise and/or sleep. I am not saying the supplements might not be worthwhile, but it is the very fact that they might be needed that is the problem.
If everyone was fit and healthy and rested, would there still be cancer? Yes, definitely, but I bet it would be more the BRCA genetic variety, and probably less of the "random" kind.
Do I think I caused my own cancer? Well, I might as well ask myself if I created the modern world and society that I live in. We don't exist in a bubble. This is the world we were born into. If we continue to study human health and we become educated as individuals AND as a society, and make our lifestyle choices based on that, then we have our best chance to have healthy lives. That is about all we can do.
If we make bad choices, there IS a price to pay, but this is where the randomness seems to come in. Statistically, alcohol ups the risk of cancer, but not everyone that drinks will be affected. (My thinking is that for some, drinking is not enough to upset the overall balance of health.) Some bodies have quite good defenses for the things we put them through.
My body doesn't defend against cancer very well. That has been proven to me twice. I look back ten years (when my cancers probably got their start) and I remember that I was not eating as well, not exercising as regularly, or sleeping as well as I am now. I also had the stress trauma of losing a parent around then. My body was probably struggling to do a good job at maintaining my health then, and little did I know that it failed to detect and kill cancer until some years later. I can't really know WHAT caused my cancer, I just have these suspicions.
I am sorry if my post is disjointed in the points I am trying to make. If only I had an editor to whip it into a coherent sequence, but I hope I am getting my thoughts across. They are just things I have had time to reflect on these past four years.
[Wait, I don't think my post is quite LONG enough. I'll finish with a story. Imagine persons that smoke their whole lives...let's say 60 years. Yes, they get cancer in the final few years and then die from it at an age that is considered a normal human lifespan. Yes, you could say they gave themselves cancer because it was definitely from smoking; but how is it that it took 60 YEARS? That sure took a long time for that cause and effect. You could say that those bodies must have had high functioning defense systems to have kept the cancer at bay for that long. It's kind of incredible, really. I've just told you my mother's story. Someday, we will have a better understanding of a body's response to cancer. For now, it's still quite perplexing.] -
I believe all decisions in life have trade-offs, in every aspect of life. But I prefer not to play the "what if" game. For me, I am choosing to eat better (more fruits, veggies, less fatty meats), exercise (really only minimally, and it has made a difference in my tone and how I feel) and seldom drink alcohol. If I want a "bad" food, I'll eat it but only need a super small portion to satisfy me. I don't deny myself.
Was I shocked when I was diagnosed? Yes, like we all are. And I wrestled with thoughts of how I brought it on. I had been caring for my Mom, who got ovarian cancer eight years before I got BC, which involved sometimes multiple trips to her home each week (more than 3 hours rt). Watching and helping her through her disease was indeed stressful. Many times I cried much of the way home because she was alone and I didn't want to leave her. But I also had family obligations. Knowing what I know now, I suspect that stress (mental, emotional, physical- including lack of sleep, like Eli mentioned) is likely one of the biggest contributors to cells going awry. I chose to get a non-stressful job two years ago, and recognize the incredible difference it has made in my attitude and my health.
If I get cancer again, I am not going to blame myself. -
Wow, I am lost on here. My 'puter quit awhile back so I've been offline. I'm glad to see familiar names still posting. Sad to see so many new names, but you new ladies have found a great place to be. Now to try a little catching up. -
amen to all the wise words above and hugs to you all
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Elimar, that was very well put! I am convinced that lack of sleep may be a contributing factor from allowing our bodies to ward off cancer in the first place, that it lowers our immune system. I have always put sleep as the last priority on my list, fearing I would miss out on something. Wouldn't surprise me if scientific research proves evidence to how our bodies need sufficient sleep. But I wonder if that fact would ever be made public as there's no little "pill" and not much money to be gained from this revelation.
You know, something I've wondered and never really talk about....
Wondering about all the "little" things that add up to cancer, when, by themselves may not amount to much. Here's something I know for sure and can't dispute: a friend I went thru 7th thru 12th grades with and I went to the same college and decided to become roommates - the time frame was the mid 70's. She any I both went on the pill (for very different reasons but the same exact Rx). I found out that she passed away from BC at the age of 50 some years ago. While I don't know much else about her situation (got her obit when I googled her to try to find out how to contact her), I've always wondered if things we did LONG ago (like these pills) led us to this situation. So many times I could have turned right (or left) and gotten to the same place but the results were different. I know that I'll never know the answer to this one.
Ok, ok, I need to get off this subject and on to something more fun!
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I agree on the sleep. People often blame cancer on stress. When they do, they are thinking of work/family type stress. They don't think about the stress that comes from not eating regularly and not sleeping well. -
TB90--our pets are our best therapy sometimes!
Elimar--congrats on a strong liver!
Barsco--Love the Cheetos!!
Mstrouble--if cancer is caused by drinking, bad diet, smoking, then why do kids in non-smoking homes who eat vegetarian diets ( or are still on breast milk) get cancer?
How did I give myself bc?I went to the cancer store and bought a case.Where are you going to get YOUR cancer?Really, people.
Momine--EXACTLY!!!!!!!
Elimar--Very well said!
SNS--also well said! -
Native, If that store existed, I can only imagine how long the return line would be! -
You all might not think that Cheetos goes with a holiday that is so predominantly red and green. (You may be too new here to remember when my tree was decorated with giant snowball Cheetos.) So, it is time to revise that opinion.
Check out this recipe and whip up a big bowl of Cheetos holiday cheer.
Yes, it contains elements from EVERY bad food group, so Momine, look the other way. (Or just make a half recipe.) -
Those Cheetos snacks may be crunchy and delicious, but IMHO they look DISGUSTING! -
Eli - I need a snack for Mexican food party this Sat. I think I just found it. My group will eat anything, trust me. One reviewer called it "Cheetos Brittle". -
Luv, Your group isn't a group of goats, is it? The three people that reviewed the snack gave it five stars, so despite the look of it, it must not be too bad. -
Oh I read more. My group will eat anything sweet. Trying to remember what I took last Christmas. Something equally stupid sounding that turned out great. Maybe it was a different Chex mix, a caramelly one. What's the old saying - a memory's a terrible thing to waste. HaHa. I already have put the Cheetos on the grocery list.
Doritos not Cheetos but same difference to goats. I just learned today how to post pics. -
Isn't that cute! Those goats know how to share. Anyone who ever had trouble getting one of those bags open definitely needs a goat. -
Can I chime in? First time on this thread....
So what might have caused my BC? Let's see. A glass (or 2) of wine with dinner most days. Walk regularly and don't eat much junk food. Mother had 2 instances of BC but I was told my risk wasn't increased because of her age at diagnosis (75 and 79). No other family cancer history. BRCA -. Twenty years +/- on the pill before early menopause at 42. Never pregnant. Took low dose estrogen pill for about 5 years to combat menopause hot flashes. Lost both my parents in 2011 then spent 2012 cleaning out the home they lived in for 54 years and putting it on the market. Four months later, diagnosis BC.
I do wonder where it came from. My BS did feel that it could very well be linked to the stress I went through the prior 2 years. But I will never know for sure. I am trying to make changes in diet and I still enjoy my wine. Just not as often. Sigh. -
Welcome LizzyinMI! When you have an ER+ B/C, even a small one, it probably goes back more than a few years because they are known to be slow growing, but who knows...without the stress perhaps your body could have killed off the little invaders. I had a 7mm lump and my doc said it could have been there for 6 or 8 years, For the same reason, we can't exactly call ourselves in the clear after 5 years because women with ER+ cancers get actual recurrences 8 and 10 years out sometimes.
We have another on this thread who is in the Detroit metro area. Her name is Loral. -
Here is an article that from Susan G Komen fb page - With my AA cup size and reasonably active lifestyle, I really shouldn't have anything to worry about right? (well, other than that stage iv thing). Hmmmm
I agree with SNS that the Cheetos do look disgusting. I like my cheetos straight up, no sauce, no nothing!
Hello and welcome to LizzyinMi - glad you found us tucked away in our little corner of the site. We are a wonderfully diverse group of ladies that have come together to help celebrate the good, support and encourage throughout the bad, and to lend a virtual hand to hold and an ear to listen throughout the ugly. -
Barsco, I saw that as well. The only way I can make any sense of any of it is to conclude that it is a $%&*@ crap shoot, and we just gotta live as well as we can for however long the ride lasts. I really hope someone actually solves the puzzle - soon, please. -
I agree Momine - A crap shoot indeed. Not going to try to wrap my head around any of it. -
Oh great, another article that tells us that they know that they don't really know about something, and for the 10th time. I'm not even sure how this is NEWS.
After about a week on BCO, I knew that estrogen was produced, not just by our ovaries, but by our body fat. So, fat waist, more boob fat, more estrogen. Isn't this what Tamox. and the AIs are supposed to take care of? Also, if you have a bigger breast (cup size) I think that in at least some cases it would be harder to detect a smaller lump, so if any of the women were not getting mammos (for whatever reason) and had to rely on manual exam maybe their cancer was more advanced when it was found, so more oppty. to have spread by the time it was found leading to more recurrence and more Stage IV.
Honestly, I have read better guesses on these threads than is found in articles like these, that pass for news. With articles of this kind constantly coming down the pipeline, it is just some medical PR saying "oooh, looky, looky at what our research is finding, keep the money coming" and, after reading one article on this subject, all the rest that follow are next to meaningless. What a crock! And I don't mean of Cheetos snacks. -
After three years on, and now one year off, it appears that my uterus has escaped any lasting harm of Tamoxifen. I asked for TVUS at my gyn. today and it was unremarkable. Thin, menopausal uterine lining. A couple tiny fibroids in there, the kind that are quiet and just sit in the corner if they know what's good for them. I didn't really expect otherwise, but it is always a good day when they don't lay a mind-blowing surprise on you.
If only I wasn't so good at growing all that cancer stuff, I'd be one fit middle-aged momma.
Good thing wrinkles aren't classified as a disease. Yet. -
Yes, Eli, but dry eyes is. Sheesh. My rant. That to my mind in priming the public to have everything covered by their insurance. Have a friend that rants about the cost of her Nexium for Pete's sake. Would like for her to see my bills from last year.
You are on a roll with changing the topper. Just caught a glimpse as my preview loaded. Way to go.
Neglected to welcome Lizzy here. Love having new members but hate the reason you have to join us.
Well on our way to 900 pages. -
Thanks for the welcome ladies. I am finding that I am lurking and posting on boards more now that I am finishing up my "formal" treatment. Final rads tomorrow. Yay! Then Arimidex. I keep wondering what life will be like once I don't have daily/weekly treatments and appointments and I'm not wishing for time to go faster to get this behind me. I'm having trouble comprehending normal after 9 months of abnormal. And since I know I'm not cured in the sense of the word, I'm a little bit afraid of what the future holds. Does that fear go away with time? -
BTW, for those who like their B/C articles...the SABCS (San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium) is going on this week, so watch for more than the usual B/C articles to be online. Some might even be about something that we haven't heard before. (Geez, now I'm italicizing my sarcasm. Did I tell you that they make "sassy pills" in gummy now?)
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