MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Cindyl

They let you take vitamins?  My RO had me stop all of that stuff...

staynsane

Hi All-

Back from my cross-country flight; I didn't get DVT, but really, when you look at the odds of that, it's pretty rare unless you have been ill or immobile for a time.  I am a believer in the "when it's my time to go, I'll go" philosophy.  I try not to push my luck (I can already hear some of you saying, "but you flew one week after surgery") but realize that my ultimate demise will likely be out of my control.  I cannot/will not live life in fear of what could happen.

From the airport I went directly to my PS's office for my followup.  I asked him how much fat was sucked from my abdomen?!?  He said "probably about 600 to 700 ccs."  What?!  That's like a small boob's worth!  I told him I was disappointed that he didn't "go for it."   I figured the amount removed would be definitively recorded, but it wasn't.  In any regard, my tummy looks about the same, aside from the swelling and fading black/blue/yellow/pink bruising (call me Rainbow Brite) EXCEPT for where I used to have muffin top fat on my hips when I wore jeans.  That seems to be gone!  He confirmed that it will take about three months for all swelling/fluid retention to resolve.  I am comfortable in my looser jeans and think I will be able to wear my "regular" jeans very soon.  

I asked why he didn't fill the divot under my arm muscle or address the excess fat/skin at the bottom of my implant.  He said he did, but when he started filling the divot with fat it "slid" down towards the fatty area at the bottom of my implant (eeewww)!  He said he did lipo some of the excess fat out of that area.  He added that he can tighten up the skin as an office procedure and address the divot later.  

I was SO hoping to resolve all issues with this surgery, although I am aware that some of the injected fat will not "take."  My trough above the implant was completely gone, but already I am seeing signs that I am losing some of the fat.  If I can keep most of it and it's not noticeable in a bra and tank top, I may consider my reconstruction done.  Who knows how I'll feel in a couple of months.  Surgery has not been difficult for me, but the constant reminder of cancer and defects in my appearance is.  I used to have a "nice pair" and have finally realized that my landscape will never be the same.  I am grateful that I am 54, have a husband who, although he misses the old me, loves me still.  I ache for younger women who are seeking their own life partners after being diagnosed.  Appearance is SO much more of a focus when you're young.

I hope this Easter weekend is filled with family, friends and love for you all, whether you observe the holiday or not.

Loral

Have a Happy Easter...You all deserve a carefree, joyful, wonderful day.

Momine

Staynsane, easy now, lol. When I had my BMX they did report the weight of the boobs, which I thought had grown much too big (due to weight gain), and even at this grossly large size (in my eyes) they weighed all of a pound a piece. 

I am sorry that you did not get everything solved with this last surgery, but it also sounds as if you are coming to terms with it, which is good. 

NativeMainer

Staynsane--I'm with you, there are many things I cannot control, and I refuse to live my life in fear of what might happen.  I will take reasonable care and precautions, but I will not run my life based on fear of what might happen.  I've heard that the final results of liposuction take some time to be seen completely, but I'm really glad that you are seeing positive results already! 

staynsane

Momine and NativeMainer-

Thanks for your comments.  When all is said and done (or maybe not "all") I focus on the fact that as far as anyone can tell, I am cancer free and THAT is more important to me than my looks because it represents more  life to live!  I just thought it would be great to come out of my last surgery with a flatter tummy and the bigger issues regarding my recon addressed.  I am eager to see what my tummy will look like after all swelling is gone; my PS seemed to be very pleased with his work, but I think they always are.

When I had my mastectomy and TE I really expected that the implant exchange would be the end of BC-related surgery for me.  Since then I have read that revisions are the norm.  I think a lot of women probably are like me, and give up with those even though improvements can still be made, in the desire to move on.

marlegal

SNS, I'm so glad my fears were for nothing

Meece

Me, too.

I am one who has called it quits on revisions.  My frustration with the differences doesn't outweigh the fact I hate surgery and anesthesia.

marlegal

I don't envy anyone those choices and decisions. At the end of the day, I just want all of us to be happy with our decisions. I have been, thankfully.

elimar86861

Color me middle-aged.  I made my husband buy me a Lazy-Boy chair over the weekend.  Actually, my back has been killing me since my surgery (4 hours on back) and the hospital (two days on back) and my poor old osteoarthritic lumbar spine does not appreciate that at all.  You would think that, with my upcoming chemo, I will be getting more than my share of the recliner chair lifestyle over at the Cancer Center, but what the heck...I will need more comfort seating and napping stations in my home once the fatigue sets in, so why not?

staynsane, I think you made an interesting point that some of us just want to move on, even tho' we carry around scars and disfigurements that might be improved on.  It gets into individual decision territory again.  I'm not 100% happy with the look of my lumpectomy scar, but just don't want to bring a PS into the mix.  No more cutting for me.  Everyone of us does deserve to be happy (or at least not depressed) with our altered body images.  Hope it is only a short while til you get into your skinny jeans!

luvmygoats

Eli - I would love to have a recliner.  Best sleeping of the day leaned back on my couch.  I could sleep sitting straight upright.  Used to laugh at my DM when she and my GM would do that.  Enjoy the chair and you have more places for guests to rest.  Maybe even DH will get a turn. LOL

This is today's comic "Close To Home".  Robots at the bedside.  Thought immediately of you.

Keeping you in my prayers and so good to hear from my sweet sister.

elimar86861

Gee, luvmygoats, I don't even know if my robot was married with children or not.

Momine

Eli, I can also recommend getting a lap desk. I got a cheap one from Ikea, with a plastic top, and a sort of bean-bag pillow underneath. It came in very handy both in bed and in the recliner. 

luvmygoats

Edited post above when I realized some of the content displayed on the link was less than desirable (think extreme underwear ads, etc.).  So I went with the Seattle Times.  Oddly enough the Ft. Worth Star Telegram link for the comic was the same objectional site.

http://www.uclick.com/client/sea/cl/

luvmygoats

Eli - I see you read it before I edited.  Sorry (but not for the actual cartoon).  I usually try to catch stuff b4 I post. Love you.

Lap desks also at office supply, can't remember which one of the 3 I bought mine at.  But I have a really old one, just laminate top and beanbag.  Much softer than the new one which has the beanbag only on each end.

I have never been to Ikea.  Probably a good thing for my bank account.

Starynights

So glad to find this group. Im 59 for another month anyway. Gigi to two beautiful grands that I care for daily when Im not knocked down from the chemo. Question...do you ladies think the side effects are worse on us "older gals"?

barsco1963

Welcome Starynights - glad to have you aboard (although not crazy about the reason that you are here). Sounds like you are an active Gigi taking care of the grandkids on a daily basis. I hope that the chemo isn't knocking you back to badly. As for SEs - I think that no matter the age, some are affected more than others with each treatment.

Looking forward to "seeing" more of you in the future. You will find that we like to have fun here but can be serious when the need arises.

marlegal

I echo Barsco's statements. Some women in their 60's have way more energy than younger women. And even then, chemo just affects us all differently. I sailed through A/C but hated Taxol. Many are the exact opposite. The important thing is that we g.e.t. It no matter which category you fall into. Lots of square pegs in round holes in this room 😊

Momine

Stary, I agree with Barsco and Marle, it is extremly individual and I am not sure age has that much to do with it. My mother had chemo 3-4 years ago, and my aunt was doing taxotere for the second time along with me. My mother dealt with chemo better than I did, from what I could see. 

I do think it really helps to get outside and if at all possible to get some exercise, even if it is just a slow walk. I had FEC before my surgery and all through that, I walked my 2 dogs early every morning in the park. It helped me a great deal, I think.

staynsane

I've decided I need to STEP AWAY FROM THE SCALE!  I have noticed that following surgery I tend to hold onto an extra 5 lbs (even though I haven't been overeating) for a few weeks and my recent experience is no exception.  Although this time I also got my period, which I haven't had since December, so double-whammy.

So here I am, heaviest I've been since I was 5' 3" and in Jr High.  I was a little chunk back then, got sick, lost weight and held it while I grew to 5' 9" throughout my late teen years.  Because I'm tall, I could easily hide a pound or two and no one would have noticed.  For the most part, I have weighed the same since age 22, even after two kids.  It just got redistributed a bit.

Two weeks after my last surgery, I feel slimmer, but weigh more!  I haven't tried on my skinny jeans yet, mostly because I have been working from home all week.  I suppose some of the weight is probably water still retained in my slightly swollen mid section, but damn!  I was shocked when I got on the scale!  I thought (hoped) that I would be one of those lucky women who didn't have the menopause SE of weight gain (even though I'm still trooping on with ocassional periods) and I guess time will tell.  This is probably surgery-related water retention, at least that's what I'm sticking with!

dechi

After gaining a few pounds with menopause and treatment, I've been trying to find a diet/eating plan that works for me.  We get told eat this, don't eat this, this is good for you, this is bad for you, which is totally frustrating and confusing.  I thought this article was very helpful...

Authority Nutrition

elimar86861

In addition to the linked article that dechi posted above, here is something I had bookmarked:

Foods and Breast Cancer

An extensive list of (mostly unprocessed) individual items.  Not necessary to read every last item, but good to have and look up the items that might appear regularly on your table.  There are some surprises.  I'm still crying about the avocado.

Momine

Dechi, refreshing article, thanks for posting.

staynsane

Dechi and Eli-

Thanks for the articles.  But Eli- honestly, too much information!  Wow, my brain was swimming after just looking up avocados!  If this is just one of your sources of cancer-related info that you research, as I suspect, I certainly understand not having the time or inclination to chat on the boards!  I am sticking with my mantra of anything in moderation!

Ok, so after swearing off the scale yesterday, I jumped aboard this morning (after peeing like a racehorse all day yesterday) and I lost more than 3 lbs!  I know it is all water weight (duh) but the relief is awesome!  To gain more than 5 lbs in a short period is not something I am used to, and I admit a little fear of "oh no, here come menopause SEs that everyone talks about!"  Anyway, I figure the rest should be flushed away in the next week or so.  Since I still have an ocassional period, I'm not fully into menopause and I want to postpone having to deal with those SEs as long as possible!  As if I have any control...

Momine

Staynsane, FWIW, I lost 25 pounds during treatment, and in spite of getting my ovaries yanked and going on femara a year ago, I have not put it back on. I do eat carefully, but not insanely so, and I make sure ot get some kind of exercise daily, even if it is just a good long walk.

jocanuck1951

Hello and thank you Eli for that food site....does 6 months of chemo mean that you'll be cured, or at least done with chemo? I know once you have it...it never really goes away .



Welcome starynights!



Had a "glow in the dark" CT scan today, chest, abdominal and pelvic areas, see onco on Wednesday for results....I asked the tech when he came out if bone mets would show up in the scan he said yes.....hmmmm...he didn't have a happy face on when he told me. Weird, in my head I have a picture of cancer cells dumpster diving in my liver...yuck!



On a happier note I have a chemo break next week....yahoo...I now have to use zincofax

Yep, diaper cream on my fun parts (ok, USE to be fun parts)...it's sizzling coming out!!!! Xoxoxox

barsco1963

Jo - Hope you hear only good news on Wed regarding the CT. Don't read anything into how the tech responded. Who knows what he was thinking - maybe he was just having a bad day.

Happy for you that you will get a break from chemo next week - I bet you are looking forward to it. Hopefully it will cool down those hot spots!

jocanuck1951

Maryah...sexy and naughty!!! Lol! I should have worn the apron!!! Post a pic soon! Xoxoxo



This week I bought a wig....and a boob, right next door to each other LOL! So for a normal look....no peeking underneath....boob $400. Boob cradle included,, bra for boob $100., nice cami top $75., wig $500. $1075. + 13% tax Course I had to buy extra bra and cami......really I had this look FREE before BC....I have yet to put this gear on alone...she spent 4 hours with me....it's gonna take me 2 bloody hours to step out of the house....haven't done makeup yet!

elimar86861

JoC1951, Can't say that anyone ever posted the prices on this thread before.  Knew that the wigs could be quite expensive, but I didn't know the boob/foob pricing, etc.  If it makes you feel more you, then all you can say is "priceless." I don't know if those are your real eyebrows in your pic (since don't those disappear right along with the head hair?) but I have to say if you did draw them on, wow, they look so natural.

I truly hope you are given some good news next Weds. on those scan results.  I know it will be a long suspenseful weekend.  Totally agree with not trying to read anything into the expressions of the tech.  Even if he did see something, he didn't have the comparisons from before so your scan could actually be better than previous times.  Please come on Weds. and tell us something good!

In answer to what you asked me...CRC is a little different than B/C.  Recurrences (local and distant) do tend to show up within a few years, so getting to that 5-year milestone is definitely meaningful.  Many that make it that far do remain cancer-free in that it never does return.  So, yes, the goal of my chemo is to give me the best chance to achieve that.

----------

Here for you (and anyone else who wants the scoop) are the percentages my MO gave me off Adjuvant Online.  After 5 years, in people with similar pathologies and treatment like me, 65% do nothing more and are still alive and 35% are not.  With chemo, the same 65% will be alive regardless but, of the 35% unfortunates, an additional 15% will live as a direct result of chemo, and 20% still die.  (This is Overall Survival percentages, so keep in mind that within those stats there are a few that are alive at five years, living with disease; but for most the real danger has passed.)

So, my sister-lady-girls, I have said yes to chemo for a 15% questionable benefit.  Oh sure, I would like to think I could be lucky enough to wind up in that 65%, but as that is such a well kept secret, it once again comes down to I AM TOO SCARED NOT TO DO THE (CHEMO) TREATMENT.   Guess it is just that I like 80% odds a little better than 65% odds and, being the average person that I am, I bet this is the choice most people go for.  DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO LIKE IT. 

My final comment today (not having begun chemo yet) is that I am handling the physical part of cancer o.k., all things considered, but I am having incredible swings back and forth with the MENTAL component required.  Because I already suffer from overactive brain, sometimes I feel THISCLOSE to losing it.  Then the feeling passes.  These tests of "inner strength" can be exhausting.

Valjean

If anyone here remembers, I was to have my Onc appointment today & I have been very anxious about my TM's.



Well, ~~good news~~ it was down from the 23.7 last 6-month ck-up to 14.2. That is closer to 12.7 one year ago & not far above my normal <12.
<br />

Everything else is good, too.



I am so relieved, I cried while walking out to my car thanking my Angels above, one of whom is my dear friend, ♥Melissa♥.



Thanks for all your positive comments. You gave me wings...



♥♥