MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

barsco1963

Eli - love the sprouting (snowdrops?) topper! I spotted a robin in our backyard yesterday which I got excited about. My DH (the hunter) was more excited about the groundhog he saw. I guess both are a good sign that spring is near. My FIL used to say that spring was definitely here when the red-winged blackbirds made their way back.

Happy Monday all! May your week be filled with love and laughter. Wishing everyone good health and good healing!

staynsane

Thanks to all who will be joining me on Wednesday!  It is reassuring to know that I will have company and good snacks to help me through what I hope will be my last BC-related surgery.

elimar86861

So much for staying positive.  My surgical pathology came back with 6/20 nodes, so hello chemo all summer long (and that means I get to develop a more than passing acquaintance with my ostomy bag as it will be on for the duration.)

Considering that there was a certain amount of human error in the colonoscopy not detecting my cancer in the first place, or in it not being discovered six months sooner than it was, I had really hoped that (in the interest of cosmic fairness) that I could achieve the best case scenario with the pre-treatment and surgery I had.  Nope.

Anyway, I have hijacked this breast cancer thread for four months now to digress about a second primary rectal cancer.  Felt a little guilty about doing that.  Now, it looks like my next 6 mos. or so will be more of the same, and I would rather see this thread revert back to mainly breast issues.  Three and a half years out, I really don't have very much concern for a breast recurrence, myself.

Not worried about one (breast) and not wanting to talk about the other (rectal) puts me in the position of not having too much to say anymore.  While I would like to support women newly diagnosed and in treatment, I have to admit that I am just plain tired of talking and thinking about cancer.  I need a break.  If I do post occasionally, I will keep it breast related.

If this thread stays active, it can evolve into any way all you Middies see fit; however, I do hope it retains a little bit of the original (orange and cheesy) flavor.  May we all somehow find enough information, support and humor to live well in spite of this horrid disease.

Loral

elimar: God Bless You and I wish you well with your treatments.

Momine

Elimar, I totally understand although I will miss you around here. 

Fuckity-fuck-fuck on those nodes. That was similar to my path report and was equally a total bummer (just to continue the bad puns). I wish you focus and many wonderful distractions during chemo. You know where to reach me if you need anything, for yourself or the kiddo.

Dianarose

Eli- I just thought for sure it would all be good news. F'n cancer no matter what type. WE ALL Love you and don't mind if you come here to vent no matter what it is about.

Will it be the same chemo as prior to your surgery?

barsco1963

Oh Eli - so sorry that the path report didn't come back more favourable. Wishing you well with your tx. We will certainly miss you but understand the need for a break. Effin cancer - always taking away those who mean so much to us. I hope that you can pop in once in a while to say hi! There will always be a cheeto or two waiting for you.

((hugs))

marlegal

Awwww WTF? Eli, I can understand wanting or needing a break for yourself, but please don't think for one minute that you don't have the right to come here to bitch, moan, cry, or make bad jokes should the mood strike you. The bad part is that we can't truly understand all you're going through to offer the right support. No one wants the best for you more than us though, except maybe dh and ds of course. And while this thread is on a breast cancer site, the middies are, by your definition, not bound by normal rules. Yes, we'll do all we can to help newbies, and we'll continue to raise each other as best we can. BUT this is your room Eli. It's your personality through and through (thank God) We'll step up for a bit if we have to, but just till you're sass returns, and I know it will. Big gentle hugs and buckets of love and prayers hon.

Sherryc

Eli I am so sorry for your news and totally understand about the need for a break.  I hope all goes well with your new chemo.  We will miss you around here and hope you do drop in from time to time.  I HATE CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luvmygoats

Eli - Bummer big time.  But I have enjoyed getting to know you and your wicked sense of humor.  It is refreshing as it is not vindictive except in a good "go get'em" kind of way.  Want to hear of your progress.  Please keep us posted even if you're not a regular on "your place".  We'll try to play nice in your absence.  (((HUGS)))  Kick the c**p out of that CA.

heartnsoul76

Oh, Elimar! Dammit, I'm so mad! F*ck staying positive! As much as you went through, this shouldn't have happened!

Chemo ALL summer?  Please come back and commiserate with us.  We care so much about you, please let us help you get through it in any way we can.  I'm mad that staying positive didn't fix everything, but really I know it does do good.  You'll start feeling like your old over-competitive self again soon and kick the rest of the cancer out! I'm sorry that you have to get through it, and it's a long road, but I know you can do it. And lord, yes, that's what we're here for - we all have to bitch and moan and whine sometimes, and our family can't take the brunt of it.  But we can!

Focus on cancer revenge and come back when you're ready.  You know we'll be here.

((Elimar))

sheila888

Elimar...I have no words.......just know we all love and care for you......

Sheila ♥♥♥♥

AllieM

Just saying hi. I'm 51 so I think this is the right place for me. Just came across these discussions and still trying to figure it all out. So many caring people and so much information....

Allie

Sherryc

Welcome Allie

macatacmv

Allie, welcome! It looks like you are brand new to bco. Do you have any info on your dx? We will be here to help you out in anyway we can.

Eli, NO NO NO!!!!! That is no good. I am spitting mad!!!! I understand how you feel and know about a need for a break.  But this is your room, I will miss you so much.  We will be here when you stop in. Kick that CA to the curb!!!!!!  (((((hugs)))))

I think even tho this is BCO, that we talk about our lives. And our lives are about more than BC. For a time BC consumes most of our time, but life stuff is always going on, too. So don't feel like you hijacked the thread, we love you and are genuinely interested in your life. 

Anywho, we will be keeping on.

Valjean

{{{ E }}}

barsco1963

Welcome Allie - trying to figure out the middies is like trying to figure out how the carmel got inside the Caramilk bars. lol We are truly a funloving, caring, honest, supportive group of gals. Sorry that you have found yourself on these boards, but glad you have landed here for encouragement and support.

Meece

Eli~ Just know you will be missed.  Even if you choose not to post, I'm sure there are several of us who would enjoy an occasional PM from you.  Don't think any of us ever minded that you something other than BC to talk about.  We would glad to talk about alien babies or any other subject.  Alien babies eating Cheetos perhaps!  Can you puree them with milk for gruel? Cancer BITES!

Welcome, Allie.  I didn't have this place when I went through my trek through BC-ville.  Oh, how it would have helped, especially to help me not feel alone.  So, I hope you hang out here and glean the support and information these ladies have to share.

Staynsane, best of luck on your surgery tomorrow.  I had fat grafting done in my last recon surgery.  Believe me the lipo recovery is painful so take it easy!  My PS gave me a heavy foam pad to wear under a pressure garment on my tummy.  I used that pad under my waistband of my pants for quite awhile.  It made dressing to hide it a bit more challenging, but it was so much more comfortable. It is also disconcerting when you see your belly black and blue.  The bruising will take a couple of weeks to fade from the black and purple through the loverly shades of green and yellow, but the tenderness will last longer.  If my experience was normal, they will over fill your 'space' because some of the fat graft will not take, so don't expect a smooth area to begin with.

staynsane

Eli-

Ditto what Marlegal and so many others said...It sounds like you won't see this thread as an obligation, but I know I speak for many when I say your daily commentary and insight will be missed!  When and if you feel up to it, please pop in and let us know how you are doing.  You have supported so many and we all wish to do the same for you.  I understand the need to get away from cancer a bit.  After hyper-focusing for months and all-consuming thoughts of cancer-related shit, the last thing you want to do is continue to talk about it!

Meece, from the "trying to put cancer behind me" department, I am hoping for a great outcome after fat grafting tomorrow.  I tend to heal very quickly and booked a business trip to Rhode Island next Weds through Fri (I'm in CA)!  Now I'm thinking maybe I was a bit optimistic, after your comments.  My main concern was that I wouldn't fit into my tight jeans, because I have heard swelling can linger.  My PS was not pleased that I booked the trip, but my clients need me!  And I like to focus on moving on so I forged ahead.  I guess I may have to postpone, but really hope not.  I can't wear sweat pants to visit my client, so I will have my "fat jeans" at the ready.  Don't we all have those?

Thanks to all of you special ladies for taking the time to jump in my pockets tomorrow!

Meece

Staynsane, what about a dress?  I would be concerned about sitting in an airplane for that many hours.  I am not trying to scare you, but to put a realistic spin on it.  I doubt your skinny jeans are in the picture for your trip.  But you're gonna do great!

staynsane

Meece-

I'll have to see how it goes I guess.  I work in electronics recycling, and the customer I am seeing in RI is a scrap metal yard.  I would be a laughing stock if I showed up in a dress!  That's one of the big benefits of my job:  I get to wear jeans.  Yes, and steel-toed boots, oh so glamorous!  (Actually new styles look just like tennis shoes).

I have heard from a couple of others who told me I'm nuts to think about traveling next week after lipo.  I appreciate the info and realism, especially in case I have more discomfort and swelling than I expected initially; I will know that I am not super woman, just an average gal with post-lipo bloat.  Hey, maybe if the snow continues I can find a one piece snowsuit!  Nothing tight around the middle!

Meece

It wasn't the bloat that was uncomfortable for me, it was the bruising.  They went into about 8 areas (if the bruises were and indication) and  I was very tender in those areas.  You may bounce back quicker than I did.  I just worry about you getting too uncomfortable on the plane and where do you go to lie down then?

Anonymous

Eli.....Marlegal said it best!  This is YOUR room!  ...we love you.  I understand needing a break, but don't think for a moment that all the ladies here don't want to share this new journey with you!  Cancer is cancer.....it ALL SUCKS!

barbe1958

Well shit elimar!!! I DO hope you've gone and visited the docs who gave you an "all clear" after your colonoscopies!!! Assholes!!! Now I'm REALLY angry!!  I look forward to hearing from you soon. I'm on other threads that talk about sewing and stuff and nothing to do with cancer. This could be one of those kind....just an everyday sort of s'up kind of chat??

barsco1963

Although you can't tell by looking out my window, Spring is here! Wishing everyone new hope, new friendships and brighter days ahead!

marlegal

Staynsane, you have to decide whether it would be better for you mentally to cancel now and let everyone make new plans, or be forced to cancel next week at last minute. There's a time for going above and beyond, but I really don't think this is one of them. Even if the flight went okay, wouldn't you prefer to be closer to home so soon after surgery, just for the first week? Might just be the mother hen in me, I just worry for any of us during surgery times



Barsco, nothing springlike about the weather here either, but it is the Spring equinox so let's celebrate regardless!



(Good Lord, Eli skips two days and we're talking weather already! I'm so sorry Eli, I promise to try harder!)

Loral

Happy Spring, even if it is snow showering and wind chill of 13 degrees.....Can't wait for the flowers and the birds singing...Soon I hope.

macatacmv

LOL, weather all ready!!!

staynsane

Marlegal, Meece, and others who jumped in my pockets yesterday, THANK YOU!  My lipo/fill surgery was a breeze.  I have no pain at all, my throat is a bit irritated from the intubation tube, but wait, thats gone now too.  Nothing a little coffee couldn't soothe.  I have not removed the compression wrap around my middle or the pads on my breast, and figure I will do that tomorrow before I shower.  I will give an update after I do the big reveal.

I don't think my travel plans will have to change, at least at this point.  Does swelling increase more in the days after surgery?  If not, I think I have clothes to fit now and I am hopeful it will only get better.  I will have to rock a sports bra for a while, but I figure it will still be cold enough in RI next week to go with layers or a jacket.  I never did like the sports bra under a T-shirt look but I am not so vain as to mess anything up with the wrong bra.

Eph3_12

@ Marlegal re: weather convo! hahahahaha

Staynsane-I vote you cancel now!