MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

jo1955

marlegal - My surgeon was amazing and I trusted his advice.  When he told me I had cancer, it was the last thing I expected him to say to me.  No family history at all and I did not even think about cancer when I went for the biopsy - how dumb was I?  I literally walked about for 2 weeks just numb as could be.  What ever a doctor told me to do, I just did it - no argument, not a lot of questions at that point.  I don't regret my decision - like it has been pointed out and I have said it, I can always go back and have the breast removed later.

barbe1958

mjbmiller thanks for the update on your SIL and please get those headaches checked!! Have you tried a Tylenol for allergies??

Paula66

Morning all and welcome all who are new to the group.  This is a great place to be.  They are helpful bunch. 

I too found that in the end the decision regarding my breast and what to do was mine.  I deceided that cancer was there but it wasnt going to control me I was gonna be in control of that. In the end having them both removed was the right thing for me. This is something that has to come from inside and what feels right to you.  My doctoer told me that it was up to me and that kknow matter what I wanted to do wasnt gonna please everyone.  But that was ok because in the end they are my breasts and its my choice.  Good Luck. 

annettek

morning everyone! it is so cool watching this forum grow with wonderful people- I learn so much from all of you..

Have a great Sunday.

Annette

barbe1958

Not so quick Annette! How are you doing??

Meece

I told my PS one time that I wished I had had a MX, and he said "No you don't."  He feels it is best if you can keep your breast (If it is safe) when you can.  And that's from a man who makes his money by reconstructing new ones.  It comes down to what you are comfortable with, and what your diagnosis indicates.

annettek

I m ok Barbe- thanks fo rasking- just a little woowoo trying to stay still and heal....

Meece- as for my getting a bmx- met with a bit of resistance to taking the 10,000 lb sledgehammer to a 5 mm tumor...but, it was what I wanted - for a variety of reasons, not the least of my brain imploding with fear at each new twinge in the remaining breast(s). It was the only thing I was sure of throughout this whole BS crap. I got a lot of weird comments about "mutilating myself" or "or not being a real woman without my breasts" and the way I see it, that is just the other person's weird thought processes. I have a new saying which is a riff on another...

No, these are not fake boobs, I grew them myself:)

it is such a personal decision, one I am fortunate enough to have been able to call on my own without being forced to do it.

barbe1958

NO ONE said I was over doing it. In fact, the surgeon said the tumour board agreed with me. My tumour was on my chest wall at 6 o'clock over my heart and it was rare. Papilliary Carcinoma. No one knew what to do with it! I have NO regrets!!

OG56

The age old BC ? to keep or not to keep! I wish the tumor board would have given me a direct answer but no it still remains up to me   I have been walking around for 2 years with my fingers and toes crossed LOL  I remember my first BC walk about 3 months after Tx. and when I went for the group picture the women behind me asked me why I still had my hair! I momentarily felt guilty that I did...

Barbe, congratulations on your new grandbaby and you look great in your picture!

annettek

that is too funny OG- I cannot tell you how many are shocked that I have hair (and indeed it is looking better than ever thanks to my vitamins and eating a bit better). I am so mean, I do not help them out...I just smile and say thanks when you see the alarmed look in their eyes and questioning glances. If someone wants to ask outright, I will tell them I was fortunate and did not need chemo. I think a lot of people have preconceived notions about a lot of things, including BC. It ranges from "your goose is cooked" to "it is nothing these days, no big deal". As a disturbing number of folks have said to me....you got a free boob job outta it...hmmmmm, really? Nevermind the copay and deductibles, there are actually other less painful routes I would have chosen if that had been what I was going for....I will celebrate the new ones now and am growing to like Ike and Tina, but getting a lift/boobjob  was a choice I had considered off and on as they slowly became 36 longs and finally decided against it last year...several months before I was DX...funny how life is sometimes.

Carrol2

anyone know why when i click on a thread it doesn't go right to the last post i read anymore? Did I change a setting on my mac.

jo1955

I am finding it amazing that there are a large number of people out there who do not know the difference between chemo and rads.  When I tell them I was lucky and did not have to have chemo but did have rads - they ask me if I lost my hair.  I look at them and say, yes I did in my armpit.  I don't have to shave my left side.  I get a laugh out of that one.  I may go over to the bonfire and throw those people in.  

barbe1958

Well, throw me in too, as I didn't know the difference before my own cancer! That kind of disease detail I wouldn't expect the average Joe to know, Jo. hehehehehehhehee

3jaysmom

ever been to the haidressers' and they cut it really short, and you cried? well, i have. the answer always is, it'll grow back.. but, can't do that with a breast.

  Imade the decision to have both removed, bc i know how i am. id constantly worried. one was going for sure.. then i was a 46DD so how was i gonna MATCH the other one.. i had some real dark days till i made the decision. i couldn't have recon cause of my health.. so, it was hard for me. when the path came back after the surgery, i was SO glad idid it. it was pre cancerous AT BEST.. but, if you're no there, you have lots of time to decide. you can go back and do whatever your comfortable with later.. its a huge decision,so time to think is wonderful...

   sounds bad, as i write it, but its' my story, so im keepin it...       3jays

NativeMainer

Carrol--I noticed that too, and asked about that. Apparently it's been like this since the site had some maintenance work done, Friday I think it was.  Hopefully the moderators know about it and will have the tech people reset whatever it was that got changed on Monday morning. 

VickiSam

Welcome .. all newbies..  I am new to this site, but not to Breast Cancer -- 

Decisions, decisions.   My only suggestion or offered advise is seek the advise of a 'Breast Cancer Specialist' .. they are out there. 

Also, research, read and make the very best decision for 'you'.  Yes, you may have information over load, but it is so important to take the time to find everything out possible .. Stage, Grade,  is chemo needed?  Radiation? .. etc. 

chemocare.com is a excellent site to see what to expect - side efforts, fatigue, recovery, eating properly (which, lets face it ... not always possible once your taste buds, go on vacation for several months).

Surgical option .. single or double/bilateral mastectomy .. tissue expanders, and reconstruction or not.  Such personal and private choices. 

Take a deep breathe, and know we are here 24/7 to help you, and offer love, and support during your journey.

Strength and Courage,

Vicki Sam 

elimar86861

Sorry if I overlooked you in extending a welcome, VickiSam, but sometimes I miss who is new here if I have seen their name on another thread.  There is quite a bit of overlap between this thread and "Stage 1 Sisters" and I think you have posted on that one before, haven't you?

jo1955

Barbe - There is no way I would throw you in cuz I would have to go with you.  BC has been such a learning experience.  I did know before this that there are different kinds of chemo treatments and one does not always loose their hair.  My hubby did not and he has had chemo twice.

walker2222

It seemed every time I had a test after dx my tumor got bigger. First biopsy said 2cm, MRI over 3cm on right side and 12mm area on left side. I knew up front I would have mx but BS called about my MRI biopsy that my left side showed an area of concern. I would have to have a needle biopsy every six months. I thought why bother and chose BMX with recon. I have not looked back on BMX but recon another issue. My initial tumor was at 11o'clock and IDC, the path came back with 5.5cm at 11 and another smaller one at 1o'clock. Left side was negative for cancer but I am still good. There three other ladies in my Sunday school class had bc after me, neither had the same experience, same as here. Each experience is different.



Have a followup with SIL she is still in ICU. They are still cleansing her system from stomach and belyond, we almost lost her. She will be in the hospital until Thursday. Please keep her in your prayers.

jo1955

mjbmiller -  Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers for your SIL - hoping for a speedy recovery.

walker2222

Jo/barb I would have to go in to. When I saw a friend of mine at the onoc office when I was having rads, she was having chemo. I wondered why she still had hair, she had the non hair loss chemo for pancreatic cancer as a precausion. I felt so bumb, but now I understand more than I want.

Carrol2

I just had a huge argument with my husband about how he wanted his sandwich made. He claims he said one thing I claim another. I am so sure I am right but I always wonder if i have chemo brain. He began to lecture me about how i don't pay attention and I lost it. I try to explain that there is a thing called chemo brain and his answer is chemo is over. I wish that were true. He just isn't a tender compassionate person, a bit of a caveman really. The other night he asked me is he macho and i said yes. He is all testosterone.

jo1955

mjbmiller - None of us has to go in.  We can chalk all this up to a learning experience we did not want.  We come out of this with a much better understanding and can be there for others who are just starting their journies.  So how about we just meet by the bonfire, hold hands and warm ourselves?

walker2222

Can we sing Kum Ba Yah, that's a fav campfire song?

cellomomof5

Hi all,

Just found this forum - ah ha! Not "younger," not "older," but right in the middle!  I'm 47, and was diagnosed with IDC back in January.  I've have a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed, and am now in the throes of AC, with a clinical trial of TDM1 to follow.  When it comes to kids, I've got all bases covered!  My oldest three (girl, boy, girl) are 22,20 and 18, and then I have 5 yr old identical twin girls (surprise!) with my second husband. 

I can't go through 323 pages... but from what I've read, sounds like a lovely group of women in here. Glad to have found it! 

walker2222

Cellom - Welcome sounds like you have your hands full already. I am also 47. I pray that you will do well with the chemo. There are a few going through it now too. The AC round was the worst for me but it really does go by fast.

annettek

welcome cellomom....we have our moments:)

barbe1958

She is still in my prayers until I hear otherwise!

marlegal

Carol is there any chance your hub would read a book for husbands of women with breast cancer?  Breast Cancer Husband is a very popular book that many "macho" men admit to having read.  You don't have to read it before or during tx, it can be after and still help a whole lot.  If you can catch him in a weak moment, print this and leave at his spot!! Here's a link to the Amazon price for the book. http://www.amazon.com/Breast-Cancer-Husband-Diagnosis-Treatment/dp/1579548334

Cellomom, welcome!  Not the club you wanted to pay dues for, but this is a good place to be. I hope your chemo journey goes quickly and as uneventfully as possible for you.

Eli, are they the maidens of Spring at the top?  Speaking of which ... Happy Spring everyone!!!

VickiSam

elimar ..  You are correct,  I post over on that thread as well!  You are so cute just to remember me!

Vicki Sam