MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

heartnsoul76

Sandee - very true. I was thinking of it as not only maybe a wake-up call from God to pay attention, for crying out loud, but also a chance to reinvent myself - to make a better life for me, make some of my dreams come true. Who knows? Maybe the old normal is not good enough any more, anyway. Maybe things can be even better!

Edit: Okay, let me rephrase that: maybe it's a wake-up call to pay attention. I didn't really mean that God gave me cancer, just saying "wake-up and take care of yourself". I think God uses the trials we face in life to help us better ourselves and our lives. IMO.

Claire82

I don't believe God gave me cancer...

Sandeeonherown

Marlegal.....beautifully said!

ATeamNana

dawney...

Does your wig have the plastic hook that hooks in loops at back?  If so, I took each side and

hooked the plastic pieces to each other...not inside the loops ... if that makes sense...it made

it tighter on my head...I have very small head and hats and wigs were hard for me to find small enough.

On the bright side...I no longer need my wigs since I have full head of hair now.  Once it started growing it grew like wilfire...I finished chemo in December 09. 

VickiSam

What's that saying ..  try to look to the future, not the past? 

 I know personally, I  will never never look at another doctor's appointment the same way -- I will not put off what I can do today, until tomorrow.. and I truly wish for hope and peace.  I try to find happiness and hope everyday.  I pray for those sisters suffering from recurrence, or currently fighting for their lives, because Breast Cancer kills -- it knows no boundaries of age, gender, race or economical status.

For those of us 'who' detest the phase .. Our new normal, maybe we should use  my life after breast cancer ... we know too much about this disease, to be normal, ever again.

Vicki Sam

Sandeeonherown

Ah VickiSam- but we are paving the way for others now and guiding them through...you are, we all are....there are gifts that are to be found in this diagnosis...we just have to hunt for them. So, in the meantime, use this forum as a place to rant, explore your thoughts on the subject or whatever you need. WE get it..Maybe we need to come up with a new phrase!

I read my 'soul' cards every morning..choose one and meditate on it. Have also started each morning with a positive thought to all those in my world who are struggling right now....started my day off very smoothly and joyfully today as a result.

dawney

I haven't worn my wig in almost two weeks, my hair is filling in pretty good.  It almost looks like I am wearing my hair this way on purpose!

elimar86861

When my best friend shaved her head down to a longish buzz cut, people complimented her.  She decided to keep it about that short permanently, even after chemo was finished.  A lot of women would never think to go that short with their hair, but it looks cute on some.

walker2222

I love my short hair, going to keep it short kinda like Jamie Lee Curtis.

shells43

Me, too, my short hair is cute!

I lost my post. I was asking what you all take to help you sleep? I'm waking up in the night and can't get back to sleep. I have melatonin and sometimes take 2 benedryl if I know I need to get a good night's sleep. I see my onc tomorrow and want to ask for something again. He offered Ambien CR but that is $135. Is there something effective that isn't so expensive?

dawney

Ambien has a generic - Zolipidem (I think)  but I take Trazadone to sleep or a Lorazapam if I really need sleep but I have a hard time staying awake the next day.

heartnsoul76

I've had a lot of compliments on my new "Mia Farrow" hairdo, and that has made me consider keeping it. But, you're right Elimar....most women would never intentionally do this to their hair. I know I wouldn't! But it's not so bad, and men think it's cute! I'm still letting it grow, though, and it's starting to lose the Mia Farrow look. Soon it will be in that awkward in-between stage if I don't get it cut. I just can't decide!

Shelley - my doctor gives me 1 mg of clonazepam and it's not expensive at all. I sleep like a log and I'm not drowsy or "hungover" the next day.

JeanH

Hi Middie Friends,



just catching up with all the posts.



Gorgeous pics of dd and grandchildren!



when my mind races during sleep i sometimes need to write out what is racing in my mind then can go back to sleep. so far tx not causing much insomnia.



LYNN so glad you have a plan, i am in the process of a very similar Chemo plan, I have my 3rd EC this Thurs, also doing dose dense schedule for 4 cycles followed by 4DD cycles of T. I get Chemo on Thursdays take Friday off and have been able to return to work on monday. I am working in an office which makes it easier. Yo will definitely have to take each day as it comes once your start but wanted to let you know it can be done.



Dawney, when was your last Chemo? just wondering how long before I can go wig less :0

I end May 12 so hope to have short hair of my own by the time summer heats up.



So good to hear from all of you, I miss you all when not on the boards for a few days!



{{{{HUGS}}}}



Jean

mscal02

God gave us this earth clean and healthy, but we needed more faster and need it now. So we have all kinds of pollution in our enviroment.I was discussing this with DH tonight and I thought about all the chemicals that are used everyday. Cotton is sprayed with pesticides,yet we wear it.They can't get it clean because it has been sprayed from the beginning to kill and keep pests from destroying it, just as our fruit and veggies have.

suzwes

Jean, My last chemo was September 25th (2009) and the first time I went wigless or hatless was the end of November (2009) - a little over two months.  I might have gone wigless earlier but it was too cold!

If my melatonin and a benedryl doesn't work for sleep, I take a xanax to help calm my mind and body and I'm able to wake up and function fine at work the next day.  I try to do other calming things before the xanax - like yoga breathing, visualization, reading, etc. but I'm kinda type A so that stuff doesn't help too often

barbe1958

If you are staying awake at night "thinking" or "worrying" usually it's because you WON'T think about what you're worrying about and are skipping around it. Truly embrace the horror of what you're trying not to think of (death?) and "live" through it and you can sometimes stop the busy mind syndrome.

Meece

Barbe, if I lived near you, and you still had your shop, I'd be there constantly.  You'd be like the local bartender/counselor who always has good solutions.  No, Barbe didn't run a bar!

elimar86861

I agree.  If, when you wake up, a certain situation immediately comes to mind, it IS your subconscious trying to get you to take some action in real life. 

Welcome to all sisters new to this thread:  Claire82, DeniseAckerman, and mscal02!

jo1955

Welcome to all the new middies.  You ladies have been busy - will go back later and try to catch up.  Now that I have no toe pains and am sleep well, I have all my energy back and have been busy doing stuff.  Not much time for the computer these days.

kal_1865

I've found that if I wake up from somthing on my mind, not just from a bathroom requirment, and can't get back to sleep I actually starting counting..1-1000, 2-1000, etc. It has to be that method, it seems to require me to think about what I'm doing and drives the issue that woke me up off into chemo limbo land.  IF this doesn't work, I write down the issue on a pad I keep on my nightstand-now "I can think about it tomorrow" like Scarlette...

barbe1958

I used to laugh when 3 out of 4 employees would be hanging around the store on their day off!!! heheheheheheh

Meece

My dad had a store that amongst other things sold wallpaper.  I worked there and had ladies come in  week after week to look at books and chat.  I would go in after I quit and sit for an hour or so on a regular basis.  Bonding, that's what it is.

lynniea

Had Thyroid dr appt everything good.  WOW something normal.  Tomorrow ECHO of heart for Chomo.  Welcome to all new folks. I found this place very peaceful and able to talk when family won't.

elimar86861

I already mentioned Vitamin D as being something that improved my sleep.  The calcium I take is also helpful.  I have been the most vigilant in the past year about taking daily Calcium (600mg. 2xday,) Magnesium (250 mg. 2xday,) and Vit. D (1,000 IU 2xday.)  I urge anyone who is not getting restful sleep to at least give it a try for a few months.  (If magnesium loosens your bowels, take less.  That's easy to figure out.)

Ladies, I have not tried all the pharmaceutical sleep aids (but Ambien didn't work that well for me) and I am not judging you if you are getting chemical help to sleep,  but I have had poor sleep for over 20 years and finally something seems to help and it is INEXPENSIVE NUTRITIONAL SUPPLEMENTS.  The thing is, I do believe it takes some time to effect a change, so you won't have an immediate sleep relief, but the effect I got over taking that for some months is that I am tired at bedtime, in a natural, sleepy kind of way.  I know I do wake up once or twice in the night most nights still, but it is now for MOMENTS and not like how I would lie awake for an hour or two (and check out all those Law & Order reruns.)  I get right back to sleep quick and wake up after about 7 1/2 - 8 hours of sleep total.  Wow! If this keeps up, who knows how healthy I could get!!!

elimar86861

p.s.  I have easily been able to remember to take these doses for my "sleep regiman" 'cause I have to pop the Tamox. twice daily anyway, so the whole Tamox. thing actually helped me indirectly.

suzwes

I'm taking the calcium and vitamin D and Melatonin - I'll try the magnesium too and see if that helps.  I'm lucky cause I only need to take a benedryl or xanax very occasionally - I don't like to take that stuff but sometimes I've woken up too many nights in a row and to function I have to do something. 

It's not the same thing that keeps me up nights either - it's one thing or the other, like getting up to the bathroom, not able to shut my mind down, DH (who I adore even after 32 years) who snores horridly, or the amorous cat who wants me to wake up!!! 

One other thing that has helped my sleep habits quite a bit is the timer on the TV - I love falling asleep to the tv but if it's on all night I don't sleep well so it goes off at a certain time each night.  If I wake up in the middle of the night and have to turn it back on, I put the sleep timer on.  LOVE IT.  The other thing (and I just read about this a couple of months ago) is the clock.  It is the LED light and it is bright when the lights are off - also I find myself watching the time.  Apparantly the light can make good sleep difficult.  This new clock I have has a feature that dims or turns off the LED light.  Turning off the LED light has helped me fall back to sleep and if I really need to see the time, it's easy to light up for a second.

Didn't mean to go on so long but thought it might help others.

elimar86861

Melatonin is especially good in the Winter, for the same reason as the Vit. D.  We get less natural sunlight and so our natural production of D and melatonin is down.  If you read up on melatonin, it is usually recommended for short term use.  Supposedly, using it for some days or a couple week should be enough to re-establish your natural sleep cycle.  Long term use might inhibit your own body's production of melatonin, as your body strives to keep to certain levels.

Meece

I love the sleep time, too, Suz.  Concentrating on what is on the tv helps get my mind off of things.  DH bought me "TV ears" so the sound won't disturb him.

heartnsoul76

I LOVE getting my 8 hours! Of course, it is pharmaceutically-aided but it's the only pill I take except for Tamoxifen. Still, I wouldn't mind getting off of it, too. 

suz & Eli - I read somewhere on these boards that someone takes a calcium/magnesium/and I think melatonin all-in-one pill before bed and that it puts them to sleep! I need to find that again somehow....I need to come up with a better way to organize all the good info I get from everyone here. The doctors are always so surprised when you come up with something before they mention it - LOL.

I have to go see my MO in a week for bloodwork and 3 month checkup. I need to get busy making my list of questions for her, but that means going through and compiling all my notes from these boards. I remember she said she wanted to talk to me about starting on Zometa because it is believed to help prevent recurrence. If I had osteopenia or something I wouldn't hesitate, but I don't so I'm not too sure I want to start that, especially since it's benefits about future recurrence are not conclusive.

Meece - my friends and I (up until 10 years ago) used to love to meet at wallpaper stores and go through all the books! It was just fun! There used to be a chain called Wallpaper Atlanta and we would spend hours there when our kids were young. But they have all closed now, and the only place to look at wallpaper is at Home Depot or Lowe's. It just doesn't have the same ambience, so that fun past time has ended. 

heartnsoul76

Jean - that's a great time to end chemo. You will have nice short hair in the hot summertime. Everybody's hair came back at such a different rate - some ladies had hair before they finished chemo, some were "presentable" after about a month. Mine took about 2 months but it was the dead of winter so I still had to wear something on my head!

Lynniea - something normal? Egads! Good news about the thyroid! I am going to the endocrinologist around March 23rd. So tired of doctors, but then again it's nice having everything working the way it's supposed to. Good luck tomorrow!