MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

marlegal

While there were things my doctors, whom I both trusted and liked, neglected to tell me, and that definitely bothered me at times, I still believe 100% that my positive attitude went a long way in my recovery and treatment.  There is reputable research proving that our mental outlook has a direct impact on our physical health.  I'm not saying that we can blink away some of the effects of chemo or radiation, but keeping the good endorphines flowing by not focusing on the negative whenever possible can make the best of a bad situation. 

Insomnia - my problem isn't having a hard time falling sleep, it's what happens when I awaken in the middle of the night after a few hours sleep.  That's when the "what ifs" get to me about my kids or my job or world politics ... all things I have very little control over.  I'll try the cherry juice too (tart) but eventually, for me, prayer usually works.  I don't leave the bed (read that somewhere along the way).

Have a good week rooomies

heartnsoul76

VickiS - I've always said the oncologists don't tell us all the REAL SEs because they know we wouldn't do it! All they say is you will lose your hair and have some nausea - HA! For crying out loud, I'm having a LOT of little minor problems and they're all from the blasted chemo! Just PITA stuff like my teeth are loose which takes a lot of 24/7 care to try to get my mouth back to normal, my old knee injury started hurting again during chemo and still hasn't stopped, all of my fingernails have 4 horizontal ridges from each chemo (thank goodness they didn't turn black and fall out, but I kept them iced to avoid that) and these hip to knee muscle spasms that happen at the worse time (like getting out of the car). Once I came in during chemo after I had one of those muscle spasms (hunched over and with a cane) and my onc saw me and said she thought to herself, "What am I doing to this poor lady?". You're not kidding! If she had told me about all these possibilities upfront.....well, I really don't know. But I don't have to like it!

Yes, I dislike the phrase "new normal", too. I want my normal normal back. Trying to hit on the magical combination of nutrition, exercise and supplements to help bring it back. But who am I kidding? I keep forgetting about this surgery I have to have in April to remove an adrenal adenoma - until then, ALL of my hormones are whacked. But looking forward to trying to get them balanced after the dreaded surgery. I see my MO next week who will remind me of that operation, but I've already made an appointment with the endocrinologist she recommended so I'm a step ahead of her. This will be the first appointment to see how the tamoxifen is working - curious to see if it's destroying my liver or some other SEs you can't feel.

elimar86861

Marlegal, yes and the latest study supports the positivism theory, plus ups the ante by saying negativism can block the positive effects of treatment.  No pressure.  Just make sure to stay positive.  If you don't get the desired result, you probably just were not positive enough.  Maybe the people that get all the bad S/Es and recurrences are just Negative Nellies.  (Don't get scared Newbies, it's just my way of using exaggeration to make a point.)

Claire82

Ty elimar...

Sandeeonherown

Agreed..totally 100%....positive always wins over negative....not always possible and I think it is realistic to have the odd day or moment within each day where we go 'ARGH!!!! Where did my life go?" and then get back on the positive train...

The side effects affect us, essentially...and yes, if they told us all and gave us the stats we may not do it..or we may because, like the 1/7 women who will get breast cancer, what makes us think we will be that 1? and the likelihood of getting a whole raft of side effects is low...but someone mus get them, hmm> and it appears to be some of us...so heartandsoul...hang in there...You are a brave and courageous soul....don't forget it..Marlegal...I can get back to sleep most nights when I wake up ...it is stopping the mind at night that I have not managed to do yet...maybe I am afraid that if I let my mind relax and let go, I will find myself in a different normal..one I am resisting...learning to let go is not easy.

heartnsoul76

Just saw your post, Elimar, about the doctors putting a positive spin on the treatment (I accidentally typed "threatment" which is probably more accurate).

I don't see how they COULD put a positive spin on all of this without lying - yes, that would be Academy Award stuff there.

Fortunately, I'm a positive person anyway - either that, or I'm the Queen of DeNile, but whatever floats my boat, I guess. 

Sandee - you're so sweet....I'm not brave. I think I'm just a whiner in DeNile! LOL!

You know, I was thinking about how you said you had a hard time sleeping in your new place. Some people swear by Feng Shui, and I don't know all the tricks but maybe rearranging your bedroom would help. I used to do that like crazy - I think I finally settled on a setup I like. I just saw a lot of sites about "Feng Shui Bedroom".  (haha, checking my spelling on Feng Shui)

Sandeeonherown

Thanks heartandsoul....I did try putting my bed at a different angle and it helped but when I made it up on Friday, I ended up moving it back. I will ry it facing a different direction again and see if that helps. it is really my mind that is keeping me awake...not letting myself sleep I think...missing my ex and my life pre-hisleaving/cancer diagnosis and still not healed from that...deNile indeed...a place I have been  living for awhile I suspect...full of old pyramids for sure...ancient artifacts....think my place needs an overhaul of some sort....

and I stick with what I said..you are brave and courageous...and that is a good thing my dear! a good thing:)

Sherryc

Reading always relaxes me before bed.  My insomnia has finally gone away, woohoo.  I have slept good for the last 6 nights.  The only SE I am still having is hip joint pain.  I really only notice it when I am exercising.  It has gotten better but at this point if I had to live with it for the next five years it is doable, but I really hope it goes away like my other SE's

Lynn good luck with your chemo.  I will be praying that the SE don't hit to bad.  I never had chemo so don't know what you will be going through.  Just remember we are here for you.

jo1955

Sherry - My onc told me today that my toe pains may not be related to the Tamox but is running some blood tests to confirm.  I was given Lyrica for the pain - will see if that helps any.

WOO HOO! On no insomnia.  Always good to get a full night's sleep - it really does wonders for the body. 

Sherryc

Jo-hope the Lyrica works for you.  My neighbor is on it, she said it works but has made her gain weight.  But I know you and you will check out all the SE's. 

jo1955

Sherry - Of course I will check out all the SEs.  I could stand to gain a few pounds but not alot.  I don't eat much as it is so I will watch is closely.  From what I have read so far, nausea is not one of the SEs - thank goodness.  Seems all the meds I have taken so far have that and it hits me big time.  Onc said to take it at night since it may cause drowsiness - hmm! I could use the extra help in getting to sleep.  This could be a good thing.

Sandeeonherown

Jo - glad to hear they did a blood test to check it out...and good that you got in fast to see someone . makes a difference.

jo1955

Sandee - My onc is wonderful and I can sometimes get in on the same day I call. I usually tell them  I don't need a same day but they are good at getting me in pretty quick.  

In addition to the blood tests, he decided to make this my 4 month follow up instead of having to go back in 6 weeks.  While we were at it, he did a breast exam and scheduled my next diagnostic mammo in early June and onc appt in late June.  That way he has the mammo results before I see him again.  So nice to have one doctor coordinating everything.  Like one stop shopping.  Less confusing and fewer appts.  This is going to be alright.

Won't know how to act without numerous appts.   Guess I will just have to do more regular stuff. LOL!

Good Night Ladies 

lynniea

Good for you.  I have my whole date book filled in March already and it is a little over whelming. 

mscal02

Every time I asked my Oncologist about a side effect that I was experiencing, he acted as dumb as a rock. I was having neuropathy in my foot and asked if Taxotere could be the culprit?, and he said on no, that is not possible. I looked at him and asked, why is there 14 ladies out here on canes and walkers? then he said oh yes, that is a possibility. for reelz player?

jo1955

lynn - From the time I had surgery in Aug to the end of Dec it seems like I spent more time at appts than at work.  It does get better with time.  Hang in there.

lynniea

 I am having a very hard time about work.  I would be working outside and around food and it is outside all the time.  I don't think I will be able to do it.  The social worker said take one day at a time.  I will be going through Chemo in June It can get very hot at work and don't know if I will be able to take that.  God is able to do all things and trusting him for it.  I Thank you all that I have you to lean and to learn from. Please keep me in your prayer's.

jo1955

Lynn - We will all keep you in our prayers.

Sherryc

Lynn-will keep you in prayer and yes take one day at a time.

I still have too many Dr appts.  Hopefully after Mayl things will settle down.  I should be released from my RO in april following my mammo, I have a gyno in april and a dermatoligist in april to remove some sun spots.  Don't want skin cancer as well.  I have a MO appt end of March and hopefully since my SE are better I can start on my every three month rotation with him.  The beginning of May have a consult with a PS. whew, maybe it will slow down after all that.  I am sick of dr appts.

Raj20

Insomnia.. this is quite familiar to me  as it has become part and parcel of my life. I thought that I might be the lone BC patient  having  this problem but  seems to be very common for all. What I do when I  have the problem....I just keep on  going through  all the posts  and  never know how I past  my night time  and by the time I am ready to  lie down it is almost 2-3 o'clock at night . I am very used to  but  this is not good sign. During such periods.. I clean my rooms, washed clothes silently or make  coffee  or tea for myself..

suzwes

I have insomnia frequently also.  I never get out of bed though because I keep hoping I'll fall asleep if I stay in bed.  I could probably get a lot done if I'd get out of bed and clean.  Anyway, the longer I stay awake, the more anxious I get because I keep thinking about getting up for work - in 4 hours, 3 hours, etc, etc! 

Melatonin does help quite a bit and regular exercise helps.  Unfortunately in the winter, exercise is hard to do because of the weather!

elimar86861

Besides the Vit. D, that I do think has improved my sleep, I am really liking a memory foam pillow that I got at WalMart.  I got the kind that has kind of a trough in the center for your head.  Mmmm, so comfy.

Isn't it strange that most of your average doctors never ask the question, "Are you getting good quality sleep?" when sleep is SO important to health and body function?   Maybe one day in the future our grandchildren will be able to go to doctors that are holistic/naturopathic AND covered by insurance.  Oh, the utopia of it all!  

Sherryc

I have found that when I have trouble sleeping if I do my deep yoga breathing I start concentrating on breathing instead of when I am going to get up and I realax and fall back to sleep.

elimar-A friend of mine uses those pillows and she loves them.

VickiSam

Question:    How do we get our 'Normal' back????  

Some of us dislike the term .. New Normal ... I WANT MY LIFE BACK

Vicki Sam 

Raj20

Life after BC is  always different  from earlier normal.

jo1955

VickiSam - That is the million dollar question.  I'm not sure how to answer it.  I also want my life back - not sure I agree with the "new normal" term.  I just wake up each day and appreciate what I have and look into the future.  Made a promise to myself not to look back - too many bad memories.  Most of those I have tossed into the bonfire.

Raj20

We should organize  a grand bonfire to the past and think for the  future.

walker2222

Lynniea - you have the same chemo regimen that I had and the 16 weeks flew by.  I got to know a lot of people during the time I was in treatment, when you see the same people each time you develop a bond no matter what treatment they are on.  Just remember to suck on something when they start your IV it helps with the bad taste.  I took ginger supplements instead of using the prescribed nausea med. they made me loopy and had a hard time working.  You can PM if you have further questions.

I have always had problems with waking up in the middle of the night but with BC it got a bit worse and I hate taking prescribed drugs to help me sleep.  Tried an anti depressant and gained 8 pound that I did not need.  Will try the Vt D, I have been taking Melatonin it is seems to help most of the time.

I am seeing a lymphadema PT on Monday to asses my needs, will probably start with compression therapy and massaging the arm.

Sandeeonherown

VickiSam- I have been saying that for the past 17 months....to no avail...someone said ' you cannot unring a bell' (Barbe maybe?) and true enough....can't get the old normal back but can develop a new, beter normal...where we are more conscious of our health and the ones we love. I am rying to put one foot in front of the other and appreciate every opportunity that comes my way, be it hanging out with friends, talking to students or sitting with my cat. I am not successful in this endeavour every day....but I am working on it...all we can ask,hmm?

mjmiller- keep us posted on the lymphadema therapy. Can't be comfortable....ah me..

marlegal

Lynn, as for being fearful about working during chemo, that's a very individual decision, but many people don't suffer nausea at all, or very little, during chemo. There are many drugs to help with that and non-pharmaceutical methods too - like the ginger which I have heard worked for many (including my husband on a cruise).  I also trusted my pharmacist to help me with meds during chemo. Your doctor should be able to prescribe meds to take before chemo, and have meds available after as well.  I know the feeling of "I don't want to put more into my system" - believe me I know because I felt that way - but if something can help you to feel the best you can during chemo and keep your life as on track as possible, I don't think that's a bad thing.

New normal - I hate that phrase too.  But I've developed wonderful, true friends as a result of my diagnosis, I've volunteered for things I never would have before, I've travelled more, I changed some bad habits ... once you get past the horrendous treatment stage, things can be quite good.