MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

suzwes

I don't know about anybody else but I'm easily entertained so I wouldn't worry about it Joni.  I'll appreciate whatever you feed me!

sheila888

Yes Joni....We are all waiting.

Meece

I'm clamoring,too, Eph.

 Most of my funny stories are "You had to be there" moments.

Sandeeonherown

I too call them power surges on the good days and global warming when they happen and I cannot strip things off...a friend's husband calls them PSM..personal summer moments......so much more empowering than hot flashes...or flushes, hmm?

jo1955

Joni - Still waiting.

JeanH

Hey Everyone,

I am perimenopausal but thought I was getting over the hot flash era.  BS has warned me not to get too comfortable with that thought as they are often a SE with Chemo and I am probably heading right back to night tropics....sounds like it from all the posts.

Had my colonoscopy 2 years ago- that 50th appointment gives you a long list of to do's. I found drinking the liquid the worst, and agree with starting early, my body did not cooperate and I had to start a second container.  Procedure itself no problem, you are totally out and they will not start unless you have a driver to take you home there with you. I was tired after but not bad.

Finally dug out from all the snow yet again...3 major storms and it is only mid January. 

Jean

Sherryc

Meece-they made my husband go in for consult and then gave him all the scripts and directions and set up his date and time.

Meece

I guess that must be what they are doing with me.  Oh well.

Eph3_12

4AM-before caller ID was installed in 911 centers, summer '86-‘87(?) Keep in mind that some nights would be busy, but usually by 4AM things had been boring for quite a while.

"9-1-1 Emergency, what is your address and emergency?"

So, started a routine call. My partner, Lisa, and I were working graveyard & it had been slow. Back in the day, our center worked police, fire, medical calls for all of Jackson County, Oregon. When 2 of us were on shift, 1 person was primarily dispatching law enforcement, the other fire/medical. Whatever type of call came in, whoever was dispatching the needed crew would drop off the phone line after getting pertinent info & the other person would stay on the line to get additional facts, etc. This particular night, I was the police dispatcher so after I got the details and address, I got off the phone line.

Caller: "My address is (whatever it was) & there is a cow in my yard eating my roses!"

I began sending a patrol car that direction, more for traffic control than anything, while Lisa asked more questions; name, phone #, etc . While waiting for the units responding to reply to the call, I heard Lisa say, "Now, where's the cow, Patty?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, we looked at each other and just busted up laughing. (it loses something if I have to translate, but for the uninformed a cow patty is a pile of cow poop!) Lisa put the gal on hold and we both just roared; I was barely able to be coherent responding to various police officers signing off & on the radio, etc.

When Lisa was finally able to speak she got back on the line with the gal & while passing time asked the caller, "So Patty is the cow a Hereford?" (a particular breed of bovine, pronounced "her-ford). Miss Patty's response, "I don't know!!! I'm not close enough to see if it's a boy or a girl!"

We were hysterical for a loooong time!

karen1956

Eph....too funny...that deserves to be sent into Readers Digest!!

I had colonoscopy 3 years ago....the prep is definitely the worse part....for me drinking anything that is flavored or carbonated it difficult....procedure is easy and I felt pretty good as soon as it was done....don't need one for several years...sure won't volunteer anytime sooner than I need to because of the drink stuff....

Meece

That was funny, Eph.  I knew immediately what had been said.  Country Girl here. 

elimar86861

LOL, Eph!  Who knows why the Reader's Digest snubbed you?  That seemed just like most of the material they do publish. Maybe everyone submitted cow stories that week?  Don't feel too bad...I once sent a video in to America's Funniest Home Video and never heard back on that either.  Well, no one was getting their crotch kicked or their noggin smashed in mine so I probably never even made it past the first cut.

Eph3_12

Aw shucks guys-thanks

phew

re colostomy:  the drink was not bad.  the first time i had to do it they only had this gruesome carbonated stuff and many enimas and NO  i repeat NO painkillers or even locals!!!!!!   O W W W W

so, by cvomparison 10 years later :  NO PROBLEM  technology has preogressed to any juice that  i ccould see thru  (sure it was every 20 min)  give huge meaning to the words everything is relative   well that and then the paralyzing stomach cramps and gas attack in the supermarket.  just super 

and now, this boob things makes that be less.  not having fun!   so heres another slogan I HOLD ONTO DEARLY   this too shall pass    eventually this will just ne history 

Valjean

Cow Patty! Oh, yes, I've seen plenty of those out here in my country patch in MI.

Very funny, Joni!!

3jaysmom

don't know how i missed it.. durn computers' been down welcome to the newbies!! glad your'e all staying warm and cosy, don't know how you're all doing it!!     its 54 hear, and we have the heat blasting away.. i know that's like summer to some of you. sorry.        3jays

     Elimar,, that might be the best header ever!!

jo1955

Joni - Too funny - You should resubmit to Reader's Digest.

Meece

Actually, Eph, the first thing I thought of was Jim Stafford's song "Yippee-i-ay - Cow Patti!"

barbe1958

It was good JO, I wonder at the length only. And you needed the length to tell the story. Shorten it (without explanations of duties) and re-submit. I sent one in and didn't get a response either. I submitted this under the Kids:

Our Santa Claus parade in Aurora is at night and my two nieces had a front curb-row but we were trying to keep them interested as float after float went by. Finally I spotted Santa's float coming and it was flanked by RCMP officers in red dress uniforms. I told the girls to look, "Pops, used to wear a red uniform like that too!" I was surprised to hear the older niece turn to the younger niece and in a hushed voice say "Pops used to be Santa Claus!"

Anonymous

Barbe, something in your post just struck me, I know that kids have no concept of age, but... 

How old was Pops that your niece thought he was older than Santa Claus?

You've got to be pretty old to be retired from your job as Santa. 

suzwes

Joni and Barbe - great stories.  Thanks so much for making my morning brighter!  I can just hear your niece's santa conversation - how cute!  And this Michigan country girl knows about cow pattys also (I live a stones throw from Val) - also horse pattys and deer pattys, etc. 

Sherryc

Eph that was too funny.  I live in a rural town with lots of cows and chickens so can totally relate.

elimar86861

In my attempt to be topical, the lovely photo at the top today is of the Ft. Worth Stockyards, where the streets are filled with STEER patties.  Same thing, but doesn't have the ring that "cow patties" does.  Yee-Haaa!

Maureen813

Great stories, needed a laugh today.  Thank you

Maureen

Eph3_12

The sunrise/set in that photo is gorgeous.  I could have gone without knowing WHERE it is however!

Great day everyone! Can you believe that it's almost mid-January already???????????????

Maureen813

Yes, mid Jan.  bring on spring.  I think this spring will be so special to me, I'll be done with chemo hopefully forever. Son will graduate from high school and I want hair.

Maureen

Kleenex

Love the "cow patty' story. Can totally envision that it's in the wee hours of the morning and you get a bit tired and "punch-drunk" and can't stop laughing... 

Regarding the hot flashes: I'm lucky in that mine don't generally involve my HEAD or too much sweating during the day. I do wake up periodically mummy-wrapped in my sheet and sweaty. Ick. Humidity is a MAJOR trigger, whether it's hot OR cold. Certainly heat isn't great, but if it's dry, I don't do too badly. Other triggers for me are having the heater running on me. It got cold here over the weekend, and our programmable thermostat was unfortunately set to "recover." This meant that it believed I wanted the temp in the house to be 68 at the stroke of 6 am, rather than wanting the heat to COME ON at 6 am. So it was kicking on at 3:30 and 4:30 am and kicking my butt - the heat blowing on me would trigger my own internal heater kicking on. We re-programmed it, so it goes no higher than the selected night time temperature until 6 am. So if you're waking up at 5:30 - perhaps you should check your home's heater...

Other triggers for me are stress, sometimes, and people being on me. It's such a bummer: my girls are 14 and 15 3/4, and they will still come to snuggle with me on the couch if we're bonding during a movie. After about ten minutes of this close contact, I practically have to JUMP off the couch, tossing everyone aside. Then I cool down for a while and can go back for a bit more, but it sure ruins the fun. Let's not even talk about my poor husband trying to sit with his arm around me or on my leg or anything...

One last "hot flash/flush" ramble - has anyone else noticed that it's more about the trunk of your body and your system's concept of your "core" temperature? In the olden days, if I was hot at night, I could stick a foot out of the covers and that would adjust me. These days, I have to stick out my bahookey, because it seems that even when my body thinks it's hot, my hands and feet know it's actually 56 in my bedroom, and they can feel that as cold.

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman, huh? 

Wow, Elimar, SO great to see that you're not freaking out about the "alien anal probe" nightmares you have regarding colonoscopy. Oh, wait... 

Yeah, when Elimar and I pitched our concept for the hilarious new sitcom, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Radiation," apparently the target audience was too small and some of them actually found the story line offensive. So we'll just hang out here, where we can find women who appreciate a good Tamoxifen joke.  

Kleenex

Ooooooh, Elimar. LOVE the picture! Hmmmmmm - why does it seem so FAMILIAR? 

prayrv

Kleenex,

I'm not sure, but I've seen it too - somewhere......

I would love to share tamoxifen stories with you, I had 3 years of the drug and now on Arimidex because of surgical hyster & ooph (thank you tamox!)  I honestly don't think that the drug caused my issues but merely gave my issues a major kick start into overdrive .  Nice to see your picture, maybe I'll see you at Dr. K's (if you still go to her).

Trish

walker2222

Eph - that one ups cow tipping.

Stockyards, great place to eat steak.

Kleenex - I hear you about the core issue, take covers off ok, now put covers on ok, now take covers off etc.