MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

susantm

I had hot flashes during perimenopause and early menopause, but never really bad. I usually called them warm flashes. They increased when I had my diagnosis, but I've hardly had any since the lumpectomy. In a week or two, I should be starting Tamoxifen--will find out for sure Friday when I see my oncologist--so we'll see if they return. I've never had any that soaked the sheets--I'm very glad about that, and I'm sure husband would be, too, if he knew enough about it.

I'm an empty nester, too. My sons are 27 and 24, and my younger one married a year ago, so I have a DIL, too. I finally got my daughter, and she's a keeper! I'm near the upper end of this age range--hope you ladies will let me stay around when I turn 60 in June...

elimar86861

Lots have been commenting on the hot flashes...what I want to know is if there are some of you who have been on Tamox. for a while (like 6-12 mos.) who did have the flashes/sweats at first, but now you are no longer having them?  That's what happened to me.  The only theory I have is that the humidity of summer really set me off.  Won't be able to test that for a few more months. 

Supposedly, there is an adjustment period for the Tamox., and the S/Es get less noticeable, but it does not seem to be an exact science and it varies among women.  One factor might be how much natural estrogen each individual is producing.  Another factor could be how efficiently each person metabolizes Tamoxifen.

BTW, those of you who are getting ready to begin Tamox. might be interested to know that there is a test (CYP2D6) that can determine how well you metabolize Tamox.  I wanted to know, since I was taking on the "risks" involved with Tamox., just how effective it would be for me.  Turns out I am an extensive metabolizer.  Some MedOncs like to say that "if you are getting the hot flashes, it's working" and that might be correct.  If you have ins. that will cover it, why not get the actual lab test and know for sure, IMHO.

elimar86861

susantm, you can hang on to that "ISH" for as long as you want. 

JeanH

Paula,

I get the happy and mush thing. I was sure I was not going to be one of those crying moms at the gate when I dropped my oldest son at college last year and they did the "separation ceremony" -kids go through the gate and parent cannot go through.  WRONG! I was separated from him at the opening speeches in the crowd and did not get to say good bye and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I actually had to get tissues and a hug from the upperclass students standing at the ready!   I was pleasantly surprised when DS actually circled back after the classs photo to say good bye before I had to leave to get my flight...It was time for him to go but did not mean I was not sad as well.  I have a few more years before the next and last one heads out as he is a Freshman in high school.

Elimar - we are still fabulous even if not title of the thread!

Love the meditating dog...

have a good night all.

Jean

sheila888

60ish can go up to 69 right Elimar/

Im also turning 60 this May.

We are maturing together.

JeanH

it's attitude not age right!

My flashes were more night sweats too.

Jean

elimar86861

Seyla, you do have a point.

JeanH, right-ee-o!

elimar86861

I wasn't going to bring it up here because it isn't B/C related, but the subject came up on another thread, and then I thought, "Hey wait, this IS definitely a Mid-Age issue." 

Getting a COLONOSCOPY.

In your 40's, you are vaguely aware that there is a procedure to screen for colon cancer known as colonoscopy.  Once you turn the BIG 5-oh, you can expect your doctors to began working that word into every other sentence.  Who knows what color the ribbbon is, but you will soon get an awareness that medical personnel are strongly recommending that you undergo a screening that involves drinking nasty liquids and ingesting something akin to a date-rape drug so you are blissfully unaware during a prcedure involving an alien butt probe.

I don't know anyone whose first thought is, "How soon can I get one of those?" 

Nevertheless, it has a pretty good track record for discovering The Beast early enough to give anyone a fighting chance.  I do hate The Beast enough to finally say, "O.K., let's do it!"  I'm getting one early next month.  

Now's a good time for all the HAVES (had it done) to leave some commentary for all the HAVE NOTS.  So far, I have heard that it is some of the best sleep you can get and you wake up well rested.  Don't all the alien abductions say that too?

chrissyb

Well I've been an empty nester for about 18 years already!  Eldest is turning 41 this year and the other will be 38.  Grandsons are 15, 14, 13, and 12.   The kids timed them well!.  At least it's easy for me to remember their ages....lol  I had all my children by the time I was 25 so I was still young when they flew the coup.  Will be 60 in December so I think the 'ish' really does apply to me!

BarbaraA

eli, I had my first one a few months ago. My appt was at 1PM on Monday so Sunday was clear liquids only. I started the drinking around 2 and was done around 5 then I went to a beach bar where DH's band was playing. I asked the doctor's office if beer qualifies as a clear liquid. Answer: yes. So I had several beers until I didn't care that I was starving.

Next day, sitting in the waiting room, I wanted to rip DH's arm off and start gnawing. Lesson learned: 7AM appt for the next one.

momand2kids

elimar,

having mine in March-so not looking forward to it-- they told me I could go early because of bc--yay!  My appt is at noonish as well-although I tried to get the early one--but just could not.... sigh.....  

barbe1958

Anette, the hot flashes DO stop....don't they? I mean it doesn't go on until we....go on....if you know what I mean.

I've had TWO colonoscopies. The first one years ago was brutal with the liquids and the last one was with pills. The pills didn't clear me enough so I hope they didn't miss anything. The good thing is that you are told results immediately. If they have to biopsy a node you may have to wait. BUT, there is NO after pain/ache. Hard to believe with what they do that you don't know what they've done, but you don't!

The cleansing is the hardest. Don't wait till the last day. Start on liquids 3 days before. Don't worry if they're clear or not at that point, so soup, jello, yoghurt, anything that you can easily and quickly "get rid of". Then when you do start the medical cleansing it is easier on your body. I wrote a great blog after my first one but don't know where on the cybernet it is!

You will be starving after the treatment. Eat what you want, you're going to get rid of it anyway and you've probably lost a pound or two already.

shells43

Re: hot flashes - OMG I had the worst night. It's getting old fast. I have a big hot flash at 5:30 almost every morning. This morning it came a little early and then was followed by about 3 more. I'm getting so exhausted, by the time I work all day and fix dinner and eat, I'm ready to pass out for the night. This is no way to live. I have not asked my Onc about taking anything for them yet, but I feel like I will have to soon. I am very fatigued this week. I think the additional hot flashes may be a result of arimidex? I've been on it for a month now. I guess it's working.

jo1955

Sherryc - This may come as some encouragement to you.  I had terrible hot flashes several times a night, changing clothes, changing pillows, etc before I started Tamox.  I have been on it one week now and been having warm flushes.  Most nights I just kick the covers off for a little while but nothing to get me out of bed. Day time I don't notice them at all.  I was also taking mega doses of  Vit E and stopped that the same day I started Tamox.  Did one have anything to do with the other?  Don't know.  Hope this is one SE I won't have to worry about - I am liking the idea of minimal hot flashes.

elimar86861

Thanks for the colonoscopy prep tips, ladies...I did put the appt. off about 10 days just so I could get one first thing in the morning for the reason you mentioned. The drug they give you is Versed, an amnesia class drug.  No doubt so you never remember the grey, oval eyed, three fingered "specialists" who actually do the procedure.

Meece

Barbe, that is good advice.  It makes sense to me.  I will be calling to get my appt, as the referral has been sitting on my desk for almost two weeks.  That won't be helping me at all if it sits there.

Sherryc

Elimar I have not had a colonoscopy but my husband has had 2 because colon cancer runs in his family.  He just had one 2 months ago and said it was much improved from the first one.  The drink was better and when he woke up from the procedure he felt great and I took him straight to breakfast. I recomment doing first appt in the morning. The doctor said if you have colon cancer in your family you should start getting them done at 40, if not age 50.  Guess I will be getting mine in 2 years.  He also said that since they have started doing screenings and are able to remove polyps that it has greatly decreased the amount of colon cancer in America.  Our insurance actually pays 100% for this screening even if you have not met the deductible. My husband has had 3 polpys removed each time and they were fine.

CandyB

Cheetos and kids are much better topics than colonoscopies, but it's necessary.  I would have had one last year (age 50) but was in the midst of dealing w/BC, so my GP said to wait until the initial BC surgery, etc. was done.  Guess it's now time to deal with that.

Thanks for all the input on night flushes.  I'm not drenching the sheets, so guess I'm lucky.  I'm premenopausal and hadn't had them before.  I've been on tamoxifen 7 months, so could be SE of that or just being 51 or both or who knows?

 On kids and emptynesting -- got to have dinner (homecooked, even) last night with my 14- and 17-year olds because snow ended up cancelling a late work meeting.  They were thoroughly enjoyable and one of those times that reminded me it goes by too fast.  I would like grandkids before I'm too ancient to enjoy them, though.

elimar86861

CandyB, my own era of Tamox. coincides with my perimenopausal years.  It IS hard to firgure how much flash the Tamox. was causing and how much I would have had due to my natural estrogen dropping.  When I heard that the main S/E of Tamox. was the hot flash, I thought, "What the heck, go for it; I'm going to be getting the hot flashes one way or another anyway."

jo1955

I have been post menopausal for 3 years now and I can tell you the hot flashes have not been fun.  Waking up at night soaking wet is not my idea of a good night's sleep.  Have been on Tamox for 1 week and the hot flashes are almost gone.  Don't know what that is all about since Tamox is supposed to cause them.  I am certainly not going to argue.

On the subject of colonoscopies, seems this is the main topic of another thread right now too.  My gyn had me to one when I was 51.  Not a fun thing but bearable.  Guess everyone should have one at least once.  They used  Versad and that is a real good drug.  Did not even know what was going on.  Woke up in recovery starving and wanted to eat right away. 

Meece

Well, Eli~ you encouraged me and i called to set up my appt, and they said I have to come in for a new patient consultation first.  So that's what I am doing on the 18th.  Stupid if you ask me.  But maybe this is protocol.

Eph3_12

Elimar-you should write a comedy column for syndication!  Between you & kleenex I can laugh often & out loud!  The alien analogy has me totally crackin' up!  And if having a "roofie" gets you through the procedure, I'm all for it!

elimar86861

Meece, I only got read the whole list of instructions over the phone, but then she said not to worry about remembering any of it, that I would get it all again in a packet they are mailing me along with the script for the laxative and other stuff for the day before.

Let me know if you have to watch a video presentation.  I had to sit thru' a 20 min. one of those before getting rads.  I don't mind when they sit you down for a video, really, but do think providing popcorn should be a part of it too.

elimar86861

Eph, Kleenex and I are at home moms that say and do anything for attention, but too shy to embark on actual comedy circuit careers.  I think her term "humorist at large" sums it up pretty well. 

Remember that column in the old Reader's Digest magazines called "Laughter Is The Best Medicine?"  That was one of my favorites as a kid.  The other column I liked was called "Toward More Picturesque Speech."  Oh, those were the days, my B-sizzle!

Eph3_12

Yes, I submitted a story to Readers Digest funny stories from work column, but never got published.  It was from my 911 dispatching days.  If enough of you clamor for it, I'll write it out again!

susantm

Eph3_12: clamor, clamor!

Elimar, thanks for the encouragement to stay when I turn 60. I could be "ISH" for a very long time--but apparently I will have company, so we can all ish together.

Eph3_12

Oh stop--all of you! I'll write it out tonight when I'm at home & can do it justice!

suzwes

Can't wait to read your funny story Eph!

jo1955

Eph3_12 - Bring it on.  We all could use a good laugh. Can't wait for it.

Eph3_12

oh no-what if it doesn't live up to my hype? Maybe that's why it didn't get published!  Oh no!!!!