MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

jo1955

Hi JMW - Don't be embarrassed to ask questions. We have so much to deal with as it is and we can't think of everything.

I think I may have read on the Dec Rads thread about someone in your similar situation.  You may either ask your rad onc or jump on that thread and ask your questions.

Sorry I could not help you 

elimar86861

JMW, Just when I thought we had a little of everything on here...I can't remember anyone on this thread mentioning rads w/implants.  Check out the rads forum, and read thru' the thread topics.  I bet there is a whole thread about that.

JMW

Elimar.....your answer gave me a good laugh! Thanks for the info I will look through that topic.

elimar86861

JMW, Well, if you get your info., then hang out here with us, we WILL have one more base covered.

susantm

3jaysmom, I can commiserate with the need to recover. I overdid big time this Christmas--and I'm not done, as we are having people over for dinner tomorrow after my second son and his wife get in, and a family noontime meal New Year's Day so family can see son and wife, who only get here once a year. Older son has also been visiting, and a friend of his--both staying next door due to live-in sister-in-law, but spending most of their time here and eating here. Since my energy level has been good, I tried to do everything I would usually do at Christmas and then some. Last evening I had a bit of an emotional meltdown in front of husband, sister-in-law, son, and friend. Rather embarrassing for me. Only then did I realize how tired I was getting.

Husband fixed lunch today and says he will vacuum and clean up. Right now HE is the one napping on the couch, and I am here on the computer. I should move son's clothes out of the recliner and join hubbie napping... But it is hard to rest when people are going in and out, and I don't really want to go to bed. I prefer afternoon naps in the recliner... sigh... Why is it so hard for me to ask for help from family? I still feel like I need to do it all myself...

Claire82

It's because we are women, hun. The guilt is in our DNA

Meece

Ahhh, that explains it.  I must have a double doe of female DNA.

barbe1958

Susan, you've taken the first step by admitting that you don't want to do it all by yourself. You done good!  Now, repeat after us.......just ask, just ask, especially as you have "houseguests" who would probably love a small project to do to feel useful.

NativeMainer

Actually, Meece, all women have a double dose of female DNA--we're all XX's!  BTW, l like the typo of a double DOE of female DNA, giggle, giggle

Meece

Hey, what can I say?  I forget to use spellcheck. 

elimar86861

susantm, Please tell me that live-in SIL at least lifts a finger or two to help.  After all this time, she hardly has "guest" status and should be pitching in to help with the extra holiday chores.  Looking at how recently you were diagnosed, no one should be expecting you to be fully up to speed yet.  Barbe's right, tell the family you could use their help.  Season of giving and all that.  A vacuumed floor is way better than a nasty acrylic sweater that loads the static into your hair IMHO.  Tell them the "gift of service" would be much appreciated.

jo1955

Meece - Spell check is not necessary - we can read between the lines.

elimar86861

Forgive my opinionated statement, all my acrylic sweater-wearing sisters.

susantm

elimar, Sister-in-law has been helping in previous months. This month she has a temporary job and has been working overtime, so she has not done anything around the house. She says she will start again next week when the job ends.

Husband just finished vacuuming.  I am trying not to do too much. Younger son, who arrives this evening is a considerate kid. Perhaps that is why he suggested we order Chinese food tonight instead of cooking for him. Well, that and the fact that, being a newly-wed with little money, he probably doesn't eat out much...

Thanks for the sympathy, everyone! It is SO nice having a place I can come and vent.

marlegal

jmw I had radiation, but no implants and not sure I know anyone personally who fits that profile, sorry.  hope you get the info you need.

marlegal

susantm, i think we all can relate to overdoing it - for me, it was like cancer took things I had no control over, so I wanted to keep the rest of my life as normal as possible and do what I always did.  it took a while to admit to myself, and then to others, that I just couldn't do it all anymore.  it was actually kind of liberating.  I hope you get to that point and ask for and/or accept others doing more sooner than later.  hugs

marlegal

eli - I love the follow-up email apologizing to those who wear acrylic ...that was so you!!!!  somehow you always make me laugh and who doesn't need more of that?

jo1955

raeinnz

Hi all - 5 pages to catch up on!  Have been MIA for a few days - but I have been thinking of you all enjoying time with your family and friends.  Belated Christmas greetings to you all.

Barbara and HnS - thanks for the Merry Christmas greetings for those of us Down Under.

cmf - I would be glad to have only one bathroom run a night - usually 2 or 3 for me!

Paula66 - 2 months is a long time to wait for treatment. Because I chose bmx with recon I had to wait 5 weeks following dx for a surgery time and that felt like months.  Best of luck for your surgery tomorrow.

Count me out of polar bear plunges - can't see any benefit in that at all - lol!

Eli - was interested to read your comment about LE sleeves being recommended after bmx and/or node removal - never heard that before and in fact I don't even recall the surgeon mentioning the possibility of LE - only learnt about that when I came here.  Haven't had any problems - just dumb luck I guess.

Susan - I am coming up to 2 years post dx and I am still not 'up to speed'!  Granted Femara is still slowing me down, but my stamina has been the big casulty from dx and tx. 

phew - migraines - yuck - sorry you have to deal with them after all you have been through.  I agree with marlgal, we have all been in the emotional swamp after active tx has been completed.  Dealing with emotions that have been pushed to the back of our mind is hard work - try not to look at the big picture at the moment - take one day at a time, address one thought/emotion at a time and talk to us - we listen, we understand and we care. 

karen1956

jmw....I had rads with my expanders in.....luckily I did well....exchange for silicone implants 7 months post rads....

Meece

I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on the internet, but I believe the difference about implants and expanders is that expanders are always expected to be removed and replaced so if ther is capuslar contraction (CC) the capsule would be be removed.  Implants won't necessariy have to be replaced after rads if they don't have the CC.  However, I'd be willing to bet there will be a disclaimer you will have to sign that holds them harmless for damage or rupture to the implant, just like they do with a mammo.

phew

meece    what you just said ""yr...dr, nor do i play one....  earlier this evening i was having a conversation with a friend , 55 as i am,  (OK not for a cupla weeks, but)  about 50 being the new 20  and  50 being the new 70.....we are so behind the times on most things and remember other things that young adults and children dont even know about MIDDLE AGE!  that's us!  like the tv shows:  the defenders     hawaii50    whats next? the love boat?

~~nc 

Meece

Check out the thread "Middle aged Memories", Phew.  We bring up memories from our childhood and sometime have pics.  it is really a fun thread.

phew

sounds good! mmece,  thanks!

raeinnz

I looked at that thread a few times but so many of the things are peculiar to USA and  didn't recognise a lot of them.  I can understand that it is fun for you who lived through it.

motherofpatient

Another set back. My daughter has cellulitis in the affected breast after 4 needle aspirations for seromas. Any one else had this? Will it delay the start of chemo? Pleae private message so I will find you help sooner. Thanks

Meece

Motherofpatient, only a couple more days until you can freely post, but I understand that time is of the essence.  I don't have any experience with either cellulitis or seromas.  ANYONE?

elimar86861

raeinnz, Yeah, I guess the "American memories" wouldn't really strike a chord with you.  But since that thread was a true "spin-off" of this one, you know most of the gang on that thread already and you know we do like the "cultural exchange" so if you ever feel like sharing about the bygone days in NZ, I'm sure we could learn something from it.  Or post a pic, if it's an old time product.

NativeMainer

motherofpatient--I don't have direct experience, but I'm quite sure they will not start chemo until the infection is cleared up.  Otherwise, when the chemo depresses her immune system the infection will just spread and get much, much worse. 

Meece

I didn't think about that, NM.  You are right.