MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

BarbaraA

cmkfloralbiz I second what Eph312 and elimar said: you mustn't give up. The chemo regemins are so much better and they have so many anti-nausea drugs that you can make it through with minimal discomfort. You need to fight for you so you can be there for your kids and grandchild.

PauldingMom

cmkfloralbiz: Eph312 is so right. Welcome to our group, but also check out some of the other groups that match your status. You are going to do good through chemo. The ups and down are going to be behind you someday and you will look back and be amazed at how strong you are.

Now about DH. Mine is something else. Yes we have had our highs and lows but he has just gotten better with age. I don't know how I got so damn lucky. I sometimes feel so guilty because now he's got the menopausal, lop-sided boobie, broken down woman. He always reminds me that he still sees the 100 lb. hot mama he fell in love with about 30 years ago.  

Eph3_12

Now THAT's a keeper, Paulding!

Meece

My DH met me during chemo, and despite the fact that I was exhausted, weak and bald, kept on courting me.  After all tx was completed, he asked me to marry him. 

elimar86861

Oooh, I am blinded by the shine of his armor!  That man is straight out of a fairy tale, girl!

Meece

I feel that way at times.  We have our moments. But we've been through some really tough times and made it through so that's says something for our relationship.  The cancer part was a breeze because we weren't "committted" at that time, I dealt with it on my own.

3jaysmom

i wish you the best, cb.. it must be tough. enough of these ladies have returned active mets. im still going thru tests "looking " my PET scan was fri. need to get vaginal ultrasound this wk... for me, just me; i had one grandson i adore 2 then, 3 now, and a new grandaughter who was on her way. they WERE my reasons last year. chemo was so tuff, who knows.. the toughest part for me was ac/c..? brain fart.. the nuelasta gave me the life threatening s/e's yet, i did it, and lived thru it. Dr. said you cant repeat that, so, we'll see. i never would do that again.hope i never have to face the 2,3..sorry you are.  light and love   3jaysmom

barbe1958

Christine, I'm going to put a whole different spin on this. It's very, very hard being responsible for one's life, so I'm going to allow you to let go. Give up. Let your grandchild tell you what to work towards...

Allow yourself the relief of giving up. Take a deep breath and now just go with the flow. Let the doctors make their decisions for you, there has to be a trust factor in place and just flow.

You don't have to be brave - you just have to show up.

elimar86861

That's quite a spin, barbe, I'm getting dizzy.  Maybe I am misunderstanding your message.  Are you telling cmlfloralbiz to give up treatments, or just to give up the worry and stress of the responsibility of making treatment decisions and let the doctor propose something?

Kleenex

Yeah - Barbe - I must disagree. I'm thinking that this whole "fighting cancer" thing, especially when you've been diagnosed with Stage IV, isn't something you just "show up" to. We are here to help each other make good choices and BE brave. Choosing to go through with the chemo for a chance at some extra time would be brave. But choosing not to put oneself through chemo would also be brave AND a choice, not an abdication of control of one's life... Possibly you didn't intend for your wording to come out like that?

And in the meantime, I actually have a DH who is "dear" and not a "d***head," although really men are burdened with testosterone and that's a HUGE hardship for them. Although I didn't really notice it as one of his initial attractions, it has turned out over time that he's actually quite funny (or my sense of humor has altered to match his), and this has saved his butt numerous times. For me, waiting until I was 29 before getting married, while possibly setting me up for breast cancer due to later childbearing, was a good thing. Some of the men I dated prior to this one would be dead by now and buried in my backyard.

Elimar - time for a distracting Cheeto picture to change the subject! Or perhaps an alluring box of wine or some chocolate...

Kleenex

Which reminds me! The Texas State Fair allegedly has FRIED BEER this year. Okaaaaaaaay.

Eph3_12

FRIED BEER-how do they do that?

BarbaraA

Meece

Cmlfloralbiz first of all ((((Hugs)))), second congratulations on your grandbaby on the way.  As a fellow TN sister, I understand about the tx options.  My recommendation to you...Fight.  I think that most of us had to muster something more than we thought we had to get through treatment.  You have a goal...see that baby.  Yes, I understand how chemo makes you feel.  Perhaps you can have a long talk with your cancer team to se what options can be done to make it even a bit more tolerable.  If it were me, (seriously just my outlook for my life) I would try to get to chemo as soon as the onc allows it.  I do not know all of the ins and outs of your situation so I can only make a generalization.

You need support and this is a great place for that.  So put on your pink boxing gloves and fight,  I'll be in your corner if you'd like!

Meece

barbe1958

Holy crap, I didn't think it was THAT convoluted!! I said "let the doctors decide what you need and trust them". Didn't they prescribe chemo???

I also said to let your grandchild tell you what to do. Is it born yet? Is it talking yet? When it is born and old enough to know, it would probably say "Grandma I love you, please fight!"

The poor woman is exhausted emotionally and is afraid she just doesn't have it in her to fight! I'm saying you don't have to have it in you...you will find it as you go on...just show up and do what you have to do

Like we all did.

Please don't read an ulterior meaning into a simple post!

elimar86861

Barbe, I think it was the "giving up" phrases that threw me off.  That and when you wrote "different spin."  Now, as you clarify your meaning, it seems to be the same spin as the other posts which encouraged cmkfloralbiz to not give up.

I think that many Stage IV women do face a time when they decide to say, "That's it, I'm done with treatments."  I can respect and support that decision 100%; BUT while they are in the process of making the decision and until that decision has been reached, I want to keep telling them to fight hard for as long as possible. 

When I began the thread, the intention was to find a group of peers fighting cancer, integrating that in with tales of our middle-aged lives (and, of course, interspersing silly off topic stuff that takes our minds away from cancer for a few moments.)   Other threads are out there that support stoppage of treatment, and that's cool, as those serve another purpose. 

 

elimar86861

Is it just me, or does that so-called "Fried Beer" look like a pork rind?   Kleenex is fearless; I hope she samples some and reviews it for the ones of us who will never savor the wonder that is Fried Beer.

suzwes

It sure looks like pork rind to me.  However, I found an article about the fried beer.  If anyone tries this, I'd love to hear what it tastes like.

 http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/food/2010/08/30/2010-08-30_someone_finally_fried_beer_texas_treat_is_booze_plus_grease.html

Meece

I thought the same thing, maybe they are beer-flavored cracklins!  Might be good to have one or two, not a basket load though.

Meece

You beat me, Suz.  I'll have to read the article later.

elimar86861

That looks like Beer Ravioli.  O.K., I read the article and it says "pretzel-like dough."  Why do they say booze + grease like it's a bad thing?  It's beer and pretzels, with some fried calories thrown in.  Kleenex, don't ruin your diet on my account.

However, read that article and check out the other things that the guy, Mark Zabel, has invented.  I was about ready to induct him as the new man-mascot of the thread, but then realized he would always be too busy inventing things to cater to our non-snack related needs.  I mean like laundry, you dirty minds! 

suzwes

Maybe Kleenex can get some at the state fair and send them to us.  Maybe Mark could be our snack man and we'll find someone else for the non-snack related needs.  (I meant laundry too)

elimar86861

                        

So far, there's only this guy...and he's no G. Butler.  (If that is too "inside" of a joke for any newbies, we had Gerard Butler, the actor dude, as our "perfect man" mascot a while back.  He was just a marvel at doing laundry, yet did not feel the need to wear clothing while doing it.  In other word, just PERFECT for the job.)

suzwes

LOL, I think we need to go back to G. Butler. 

Valjean

Thanx for laughs, you guys!!!!!!!!!

           

Valjean

Been thinking about you, Lisa.....

{{HUG}}

Meece

That guy looks like he'd make a better junior sumo wrestler.  But, if he's all you got, you can send him over to clean the house while I sleep, with my eyes shut, in the dark, so I can't see anything...at all!

elimar86861

Ninety-nine ha-has on that one Meece!

Meece

I would just hope I wouldn't wake up suddenly, because my heart couldn't take it.

sheila888

Lisa Thinking of you.

((((Hugs))))

♥