MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

elimar86861

marlegal, your article makes the comparison to a CT scan, which has been getting lots of press of late as being over ordered by physicians (I bet it is thousands a day) and as having many times the exposure amount than a regular x-ray   I still find that amount worrisome.

Cookie's article was not condemning the BSGI or the PEM out of hand; just as the CT is stronger, yet more useful for more precise imaging.  Risk vs. benefits.  Bottom line, women need accurate imaging regardless of the composition of their breasts, and, in a perfect world, with NO risk involved. More advances needed.

cookiegal

wow...I set off a firestorm!

I had a PEM and was very grateful for the information. Otherwise they would have thought I had multi focal cancer and probably would have had to have a mast. So I have been very enthusiastic about them.

The NYT article was one of many about this new study. PEM's manufaturer says they can now do them with %70 percent less radiation.

I was really hoping this was an alternative to mammo for young women.

marlegal

Just a small note of clarification ... if I sounded argumentative, it certainly was not directed to anyone here - especially cookiegal who I've met in person and adore (hell, I gave her one of my last beers, and I don't do that for just anyone!!)  It's just because of the unfairness that we have to do so much legwork on our own, and even then we can't find a consensus of opinion!!  Happy Friday all 

elimar86861

It's all good.  If we read contrdictory things and air the ideas here it is only because of our desire to really know about something.

Valjean

Love the new "Topic" picture above! What a beautiful group of sisters!!

Where/when was that taken?

elimar86861

Dunno, Valjean.  I can only take credit for finding it on Photobucket and breaking with reality long enough to imagine myself on that retreat.  It looks casual and friendly, very suitable for us.

Eph3_12

Yes, I like that casual, laidback photo as well. And marlegal, I don't know that anyone took your remarks as argumentative & I love what you said about the unfairness of doing our own legwork & then not having a consensus-that is my biggest complaint about all the "research" out there about anything! Eggs-bad, now eggs good, now-bad; wine-good, oh no, it's bad, oh-no it's great!  I like my info in black & white not shades of gray.

NativeMainer

marlegal--I didn't take anything in this discussion as argumentative.  Like Eph said, we often share info on the boards here, and I, for one, appreciate seeing articles from both (or all) sides of a question.  I like to look at the articles myself and determine how strong or weak I feel the research being reported is.  Hearing opinions and thoughts different from my own helps me be sure that I'm aware of ALL the possibilities.  I've been let down too many times by the docs that I have access to to really be able to totally trust them.  I'm really jealous of you ladies who have docs you can really trust!

leisaparis

dang...I thought that was from PARTY night....I must of had to much to drink...I was for sure some of those women looked familiar(lol,lol)

Meece

they are dressed too casual for our party.  Remember The animals skins?

elimar86861

                     

           Our Middie thread:  One year and STILL a catfight free zone!

Meece

Looks like they started to tangle, but then just felt too comfy!  It is comfy here, you know.

sheila888

Yes it is Meece.

marlegal

thanks guys ... I've been in chat since 2005, and some board sites, but was fairly new to this particular group (other than cookiegal) so I didn't want to get off on the wrong foot and be misinterpreted.  as for pictures, here's a real one for a gathering of chatters in las vegas in 2008. i met 27 women, 25 of whom i'd never laid eyes on before!  this night we had a pj party (room donated by the hotel for 1 overnight) and it was a blast, in case that isn't obvious.  can't make it bigger or you lose all clarity

PauldingMom

Liver biopsy went well. Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy. Thank you all for the well wishes and prayers. Find out results on Friday. Pink Hugs, 

NativeMainer

Good for you, PD!  Now go get a nap!

marlegal

Okay, so i'd imagine that many of us are maried to the same a* holes for a long time?  do we just let them be idiots for a long time? or - like today - do we assert oursevlves and then mr. crho magnum man turns into a really flaming idiot???

marlegal

i really do luv hub, but truly...somtimes...what proof he gives me that we're descended from a lower life form!!

elimar86861

marlegal, you are coming out of left field.  You did not mention what your husband did to set you off today????   Lots of women on here have "DHs" (first, second , third, but who's counting?) and I have an "H" that is not so "D" because he's been in his mid-life man-o-pause (IMO) for a few years now and that getting tiring.  We have some singles too, so they have to go on frequent dates to acquire our levels of frustration.

Eph3_12

How many have seen "Eat, Pray, Love" ? Saw it today & wasn't as entertained as I'd hoped to be.  One line I really liked was, "Not looking for a man, looking for a champion!" or something to that effect & I had to laugh, cause that is still the knight in shining armor syndrome so many of thought we had & didn't, or wish we had & don't.    

So best of luck to you & your "H"s ladies or your "SO"s or whatever they are called nowadays!

 

cookiegal

2 years. Hub is not perfect, but decent guy.

I actually really liked E<P<L...I bought the book right afterward. I love to travel, and now with my lymphedema I am scared to go on long trips, so I like the vicarious travel.

Meece

I had a DH (D*** HEAD) for nearly 22 years.  Five years ago I married DH whose D stands for dear.  He is by no means perfect, and there are times I wonder if he lives in a cave and carries a club, but all in all, I am so far better off now than I was.  I will not bash him for an occasional burst of testosterone.

bluegems

marle,

Even those of us who have so far skipped chemo suffer from "brain farts". Since I'm going to be 51 soon, and was dx'd at 48, it really is hard to discern if it's from the stress of cancer, tamoxifen or menopause kicking in. Either way, I HATE it when I have the "brain farts", especially in front of the students, or worse, the administrator. (We won't go into my introductory meeting this week.)  

I hit hubby's truck while pulling out of the driveway this morning - never saw the damn thing. After a few choice words from him, (after my apology) I left in tears. He redeemed himself from the lower-life form when he called me an hour later to say the truck was fine, he was able to push  most of the dent out, and for me not to worry about it. At times like that, I try to remember what we've BOTH been through, and he has his meltdowns too.

I'm almost 2 years out of rads and am finding people are expecting me to "get beyond" the cancer. But we know, that's not possible - the damn beast is lurking around every day, and the smallest chink in our emotional armor is all it takes for a meltdown. I don't post much on this board, ladies, but reading how you feel and cope is so helpful. It's refreshing that there's somewhere we can be brutally honest about all of this.

Anonymous

Everybody has meltdowns, and other times when we are able to handle the stress better.  One of the secrets to a "happy" marriage is scheduling things so you don't both have a meltdown at the same time. 

This weekend I've been feeling the need for a few minutes of privacy which seem impossible to get in my house, even taking a shower has been interrupted on a regular basis recently.   I told my DH that I needed some alone time, so I was heading out to the store.  His response was that he needs new windshield wipers for his car can he come along?  Luckily he caught the withering look as I repeated that I needed to get out of the house alone, and decided that the windshield wipers were not an emergency.  How come a 55 year old can't buy them by himself???????

barbe1958

Patmom, my DH and I made a deal at the beginning of our relationship that we're not allowed to be mad at the same time. So if I'm mad first, I get to rant and rave. He has to wait his turn. OMG what fun we've had with that trying not to laugh while we wait for the other guy to cool down!!!! hehehehehe

I've watched him stomp on a new cowboy hat and he's watched me throw my scotch and soda across the garage. And then when he didn't react, I threw his! hehehehehehehe

NativeMainer

A while ago I was grousing to a friend about someone who expected me to be "over the whole cancer thing" by now. I mentioned that she had never seemed to have that attitude and she told me that she understood--she'd met people who expected her to "get over" the deaths of 2 of her children.  She said she'll never get over it, she's just learned to live life despite it.  I think that's what we all do.  She died last week a couple days after being diagnosed with cancer all through her abdomen.  She was technically never a cancer survivor, but sometimes I felt she understood my feelings and reactions more than anyone else I know.  She understood meltdowns and wasn't afraid of them.  I'm going to miss her. 

Eph3_12

NM, I am sad about your friend..sounds like she a had rough go, but how wonderful that she was there for you. I miss her for you. Joni

cmkfloralbiz

It's been 3 and 1/2 years since my original diagnosis.  I had done well after I got through all of my intial treatments and "got back into my life".  Until this past January when I discovered that the cancer had returned, spread to my bones now.  I had radiation at the time and felt good again.  I had another PET scan the beginning of Aug and found out that I have 5 new spots.  Three on my spine, one thyroid and one lymph node under my left arm.  I have very limited treatment options because of the triple negative part of my diagnosis.  Up until recently I had made up my mind that I would not go through chemo again because it was so horrible the first time and I feel that at this point the quality of my life is more important.  But I just found out that I'm going to be a grandma in February.  Now I'm re-evaluating what strength I have to fight.  I certainly have many good reasons to fight but it seems like such a losing battle at this point.  I don't know what to do.

Eph3_12

Christine, you are so young to have so much behind & in front of you.  "I don't know what to do" you say & I don't presume to have an answer, I just know that for me, I'll go out kicking & screaming because until I'm dead, I'm not done.  My response to this probably would have been completely different before April 2, 2009, but even though chemo sucked, even though rads burned, even though I couldn't take off much time because I'm a single mom with no support from the former father, even though I hated the process, that process has given me the extra time & I will always fight for more time!  The threads on this website have been a life raft for me many times...I hope you will find encouragement, humor, resolve, strength and most of all purpose as you join us on this journey.  

elimar86861

Yes, you DO know what to do cmkfloralbiz...you don't give up!   I am so sorry to hear about your recurrence and the "axis of evil" that has taken up strategic positions in your body.  I would encourage you to try whatever treatment is available.  If it too horrible, then stop, but it might well be worth giving it a chance.  New drugs are coming down the pipeline, too, so hang in there.

I see you are a "newbie" to B/C.org, so let me point out that there are threads here for women who are triple negative, also Stage IV women.  While I welcome you to our thread (and we are a mixed Dx group of caring sisters,) you may also learn a lot on those threads I mentioned. Until you get to 50 posts, you can only post five a day; but you can send unlimited PMs by clicking on another members name.

Besides all that, I say welcome to our group!

p.s.  I forgot to say CONGRATS on the upcoming grandbaby!