Support Group Reject

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  • Deb-from-Ohio
    Deb-from-Ohio Member Posts: 1,140
    edited June 2009

    Kath, you deserve to be whiny, first going thru BC then this? My gawd gal who wouldn't whine? And are you sure your family feels you're a burden? I thought that too during chemo when the hubby had to help me..turns out he loved helping me..said I did enough for him....I wish we lived closer, I would come help you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Course might cause some pain from laughter, but that can't be helped! LOL

    Hugs and love

    Deb

  • mom2two
    mom2two Member Posts: 1,352
    edited June 2009

    I'm thinking Kathleens injury is still too fresh for them to give her any rehab at this point, but since your family is not stepping in to help, you need to contact your pastor and ask about any assistance volunteers might be able to do. I know some churches have ladies that prepare meals for those in need, or the teen groups might be able to send out some kids that could help with tasks around the house till you get back better.  Communities often have "Meals on Wheels" where community members make and deliver food to people during times like these. Nancy these same services should be available to you too. (((((((((((hugs to both of you)))))))))) but like Linda said there is nothing like the real thing.

  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited June 2009

    hugs-4.jpg good morning image by tuttifruti27

    Awwwhhh Kathleen!!! I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I sure wish I lived closer, I'd come to your rescue. I don't know how much help I'd be, but at least we could gripe about it together. LOL

    Big ((((((((((((((((((((((((gentle hugs))))))))))))) for you today!!!

  • kmccraw423
    kmccraw423 Member Posts: 3,596
    edited June 2009

    Thanks friends.  I am sorry you have experienced so much in your lives.

    COONIE:  I live with a sister who has been very little help.  She just asked me to find and call a groomer for her dogs and make an appointment!  That involves typing with one finger looking for a groomer and dialing with one thumb then picking up the phone to make the appointment.

    NANCY:  You poor thing!

  • GramE
    GramE Member Posts: 5,056
    edited June 2009

    Thanks ((( everyone ))).   I am the type to look at the glass as half full, not half empty.  At least I can walk and talk at the same time ... sometimes.   One of my bridge friends just phoned to go out for dinner tonight -  Greek/mediterranean food - my favorite.  And Saturday I am meeting a chemo buddie for lunch and a tour of Arlington Cemetery.   

    All of the adventures in my life have brought some dear friends who are REAL friends that I would have never met (even if a cyber meeting).   Hugs and Blessings for all,   Nancy 

  • kmccraw423
    kmccraw423 Member Posts: 3,596
    edited June 2009

    DEB -- I am positive my family thinks of me as a burden.  The sister who I live with will get a decidingly irritated tone with the second thing i ask her to do - for example, I might ask her if she would get me my pain meds and water.  Then I might ask to help me get of bed - when I call her name - I get an exaspirated 'what.'  She never asks if she could help me or asks if I need anything.  The sister who lives closest is a b**ch on wheels who has absolutely no compassion.  I'd rather die in a ditch than ask her for anything.  Everything is about her and only her.

    Bitch..bitch..bitch ... nag, nag, nag..complain, complain, complain!

  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited June 2009

    Kathleen, I am sorry that you feel rejected not only by your phyiscal family but all of the 'sisters' here on BC.org. I will add my feelings that if you were closer, I would do my best to be there for you. ((((HUG)))) I will try and watch out and answer any posts that you do.

    Sheila

  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited June 2009
    (((((((((((((((Kathleen)))))))))) sending you a big gentle hug this afternoon. I hope you're feeling a little better. Just hang in there girl. That shoulder will heal up, and you'll feel so much better about things. Try to picture yourself sitting in a comfy chair by the ocean with a cool breeze blowing through your hair sipping something cool to drink. Just relax.......be still......hear the seagulls.....feel the sand underneath your feet. Now.......don't ya feel better?Wink
  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited June 2009

    Hahaha, I hope you don't mind that I joined you Kathleen, I feel better Coonie.  Thanks. 

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Kathleen - too bad if they think you are a burden - that's their problem; don't make it yours.  If you need something just ask and as long as they do it don't give it another thought.  Don't reward their insensitivity or selfishness.  Of course you are going to do whatever you can, but if you can't, you can't - don't apologize.  Boy, I'm angry for you. 

    Come here often and bump it to the top when you need us to rally around and show you some love. 

  • mom2two
    mom2two Member Posts: 1,352
    edited June 2009

    kmc could you post here "help needed in your town your state" and see if there are some fellow bco.org sisters who are nearby who could bring you some meals or drive you around some. Maybe your sister will get a clue when she sees other people helping do what she should be doing for you. Needing transportation and food is not some unwarranted request especially when you are talking about someone being diabetic. I remember one gal on here who found some services through the state where she lives. You might also be able to contact the American Cancer society and see if they really help someone like yourself who has cancer and actually needs help like now.

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited June 2009

    It cant be all bad.  Its 4 pages in before I can say.... I missed you... Honest I did.  But you have to remember sometimes people dont know where to say that. 

  • Deb-from-Ohio
    Deb-from-Ohio Member Posts: 1,140
    edited June 2009

    I'm like you Patoo...I would say something but it isn't ladylike...........We lub ya Kath!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited June 2009

    Thinking of you this morning Kathleen. Sure hope today is much better than before. Praying that shoulder heals up fast so you can get back to normal. Big hugs today for you girl!! Hey, it's Friday!!!

    75c7bef334d37f13182eb0d8b94497e8.jpg day prayers image by grandmayoall

  • kmccraw423
    kmccraw423 Member Posts: 3,596
    edited June 2009

    You girls are the best.  Maybe I am expecting too much from my family.  I know people have their own lives and are really busy.  Maybe I should do things for myself, even if it puts me in pain.  There are other people in this world a lot worse off than me and have to do for themselves.  Maybe I am being a big baby about the whole thing.  I don't know.  I am willing to look at both sides.  I guess I have too much pride and don't want to beg for everything - maybe that's what the good Lord is trying to tell me!

    Anyway, thank you all so much for being there for me throughout my pity party.

  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited June 2009

    Kathleen, I don't think you are being a baby or expecting too much from people.  It is difficult to ask for help.......but sometimes one has to.  Mom has some really good suggestions.

    Gentle hugs.  How's the shoulder doing?

  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited June 2009

    Kathleen, you are not actring like a baby!  I will make sure I invite you to my next pity party.  I know I should be having one this summer sometime!  Please bring the marguritas!

  • kmccraw423
    kmccraw423 Member Posts: 3,596
    edited June 2009

    Sharon, Coonie, Arnie, Jo, Linda, Mom, Dream, Lefty, Deb, Patoo, and Sheila (AND ANYONE ELSE WHO NEEDS IT)

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited June 2009

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((big hugs back at ya girlie)))))))))))))

    Keep getting better. We like seeing your posts!!

    And we love you!!

  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited June 2009

    Kathlee, sorry I haven't called you lately..Just been very down with my job situation......I am still trying to get my job back so keep your fingers crossed!......Maybe the Good lord is trying to tell me to SLOW DOWN!...LOL     (((((((To all my buddies here)))))

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Ditto.  And, you are not a big baby.  We are so used to taking care of everybody and trying to be superwomen...  Guess what, we are not!!!

    {{{{{{{{{{   H   U   G   S   }}}}}}}}}}

  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited June 2009

    Good morning 'rejects'.  I hope today something special happens to everyone.

    Lucy, you mean you might be able to get your job back?  Prayers being sent your way!

    How is your shoulder feeling Kathleen?  Well, other than pain from the physio.........hopefully it helps though.

    Gentle hugs to all.

  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited June 2009

    LOL........I like that Sharon..........good morning rejects. This is a good place for us.

    Kathleen.......I REALLY hope you're feeling better this morning. I know you're getting so tired of that shoulder. Maybe each day will bring less pain.

    Hey Lucy......you mean Kroger is wanting you back, girl? That's great. Maybe you just needed some time off to relax and rejuvenate.....and catch up on your sisters here:) I hope things work out for you. I love Kroger. We have a brand spanking new one and it is GORGEOUS!!!

    ((((((((((((((love to all the rejects))))))))))) you're my favorite kind :)

  • GramE
    GramE Member Posts: 5,056
    edited June 2009

    Have a bit of a funny story that adds to my area of "rejection".  I know I cannot carry a tune in a basket, but I love music and sing in my car and around my apartment - I live alone.   One sunny Sunday morning at church the lady in front of me turned around while we were singing and did a very loud " SHHHHHSH", which of course embarrassed me to no end.   I glared back at her and said something like, isn't it make a joyful noise unto the Lord?  It doesn't say it has to be in tune.

    Hugs and Blessings for everyone.   Nancy 

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

          Kathleen, I don't know you and your circumstances or diagnosis nor did I see your original post, but do NOT give up on this support group.  They are wonderful.  I have not been on here for long, but have found they give me more info and support than I get from my doctors office and friends who are actually here for my physically, but have never had to deal with cancer so really dont know what it is like to be there.  I have made some posts and gotten no response to them, but then someone will write about what I wanted to know so figure I just put it in the wrong place and there are so many posts on here every few mins, that it is impossible to read them all and some just sort of slip by unnoticed.  I see that you edited your post so are no longer feeling forgotten or alone and also see that many of your old pals are posting.  Please add me to your support group.....it is funny that I have three very close friends and they are all Kathys with a K.....we will go somewhere and I will say this is Kathy and Kathy and Kathy....sort of like Darrel and Darrell on the Bob Newhart show.  I hope your shoulder is healing and that you have a wonderful weekend.   Marybe

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited June 2009

    I was at my writing group on Thursday.  I was to have minor surgery on Friday and another member was having breast cancer surgery Friday.  We were to write to the other girl because her surgery was Major.  Well I was so mad,  I wrote the WHY ME thing I vowed never to write.  That sorta made them feel bad but hey, people die in minor operations too.....

  • kmccraw423
    kmccraw423 Member Posts: 3,596
    edited June 2009

    Sisters ... it has been a bad pain day but your cheerful posts make it bearable.  These 'passive' exercises hurt! 

    My athritis in my knees and hips decided to get into the act.  when it rains, it pours.

    MARYBE ... I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY WITH YOU THAT THIS SITE IS AWESOME AND SO ARE THE WOMEN ON IT!

    DREAM -- are you going in this coming Friday?  I sure will be praying hard for you.  I am so sorry your writing group ignored you .. I know now that they didn't mean to.

    LEFTY:  Boy, can I relate!!  I love to sing but couldn't carry a tune in a bucket with the lid on!

    COONIE:  How's my favorite raccoon?  right now the pain is settling down but all morning I was ready to cut the darn thing off.

    LUCY:  I will try to call tomorrow.  Good luck at Krogers!

    PATOO:  You are probably right.

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited June 2009

    Had my surgery yesterday... whined like a baby but got through it.  I was awake for parts and snoring (according to the nurse) who then told me I could not pee for 10 minutes but I really, really had to go.  Then she told me to pee the table... they didnt care and others did.  I felt like I was 5 and had permission to pee the bed.  Like Hell, I held it.  Boy the bedpan was welcome for a change.....but someone said after losing pubic hair, you pee up... and I did - I got my robe wet from all the pressure.

  • kmccraw423
    kmccraw423 Member Posts: 3,596
    edited June 2009

    You poor thing ... your dignity certainly flies out the \window while hospitalized!

  • jai1950
    jai1950 Member Posts: 38
    edited June 2009

    Kathleen ---- Add me to your list of supporters.  I know what it feels like to think you are being rejected.  I also suffer from depression.  Your sister may be in your shoes at some point and then she will know what it feels like to need help and not be able to get any.  Hang in there girl it can only get better from this point.  My prayers will be with you.

    Where in this big country do you live?

    Judy

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