Any May 2009 Chemo Starters?

deb6563

Wow!  It seems as though everyone is having the same hard time with # 3 that I am having.  I just can't seem to get it back in gear this time.  I went to work this morning and only worked 6 hours before coming home and taking a 2 hour nap.

Becky-I am in the same boat you are, just so dang tired.

Janet - show that bald head.  I have gotten to the point that I just don't care.  Later in the post I will tell what happened to me today.  Hubby calls me his "pirate mom" because of all my scarves.

echo - I feel for you girl.  But I like the idea of giving the meds a pat on the back and telling them to do their job.

mom2twins - great attitude, comfort no matter what people think.

Lori - 6 miles?  you go girl.  it would take me a week to walk 6 miles.

debbie - we are sexy bald ladies.

It hit 95 degrees here in Nashville today, it is so hot that even the sunflowers are looking for shade. We are suppose to go to Atlanta this weekend and watch the Braves play.  I hope it cools down before then. 

Okay, now for my bad week story.  Last week, I called my rx's into the Kroger Pharmacy on Sunday, before chemo on Tuesday.  Hubby went by Tuesday after chemo to pick them up.  When he got home, my emend was not in the bag.  I called the pharmacy and was told that they had to order it.  I told the lady that she had gotten the rx on Sunday and it was now Tuesday, why had it not been ordered yet.  She was a little huffy and said that it was an expensive drug and they didn't order it until needed and it would only take one day to get it in.  My response was "One day?"  You have had it since Sunday and today is Tuesday and you still don't have it.  Seems that is more than one day.  I asked her to check with the Kroger across town to see if they had it and  I would go there and get it.  She told me they probably didn't.  I yelled at her and told her TO CHECK ANYWAY.  She checked and they had it so I went across town to get it.  While I was at the doctor's office she wrote me a rx for something called "magic rinse" for my mouth sores.  Hubby dropped this off at the pharmacy same day as he picked up the other rx's.  Was told that they didn't carry this and it would have to be ordered and would be in on Thursday (this is on Tuesday).  No problem, because my sores ususally don't start until Sunday anyway.  I gave them a few extra days and send my daughter to get the rx on Saturday.  It wasn't ready.  I called the pharmacy to see what the problem was and a tech told me that it didn't come in on the truck and it had been re-ordered and would be here today (Monday).  I have felt horrible all day and when I got off from work, I went to the pharmacy to get the mouth rinse and was told that it was going to be a couple of more days.  WELL, I lost it.  I started yelling at everybody there. Telling them how incompetent they were.  I told them I wasn't getting the rx's just because I had money to burn, that believe it or not, I actually NEEDED these rx's.  Customers were looking at me like they thought I was gonna pull a gun out or something. I asked them if they treated all their customers like that or was it just me.  I asked if they stood around and said "Look at the poor bald lady, let's mess with her"  Right in the middle of my "hissy fit" the head pharmacist walked  in.  He asked me what was wrong ( I know him outside of the pharmacy also)  I told him and he couldn't believe that all of this was happening.  He told me to let him check on it.  He went behind the counter and pulled my rx and then he almost lost it.  He said it was not something that needed to be ordered.  It was a mixture of 3 different medicines that they mix themselves.  He had been on vacation and just got back, he wasn't even working today, just came by to pick up his check.  He was yelling at techs and telling them that when people brought rx's in it was because they actually expected them to be filled.  Anyway, he filled my rx and apologized for everything.  Needless to say, I bet those employees won't mess my rxs up anymore.

Hemen

Hi Ladies,

I've been reading through all of your posts and laughing at some, sympathizing with all and then getting SO mad at the way some of you have been treated.... 

 Deb6563 I cannot believe the crap you've been through with your rx's-- that is ridiculous.  I am so glad the head pharmacist walked in when he did.  NEVER make a bald lady angry I tell my teenagers that everyday).

Sukiann--I cannot believe the grief you went through and then NO massage?  Unbelievable.  

Janet-- I go bald to my exercise class, but when I walk outside I put on a baseball hat, in theory to avoid the sun, but that has not been necessary here in MA as there hasn't been any!  Too bad we cannot get some heat from you ladies in the south and midwest--those high temps must be unreal.

Quick question to all-- I get T/C, no port.  My vein (one in hand that I've used for 2 infusions) has evidently been fried by the Taxotere -- I have a wierd red bruise that follos the vein from my hand to past the bump on my wrist .  They had me go in and my awesome onc nurse said she could get my remaining 2 infusions through other veins up my arm....ugh--sounds scary  (can't use the other arm as it's my surgical arm) .  Anyone else had this happen?  My hand is still throbbing 2 weeks after my 2nd infusion-- then this red line/bruise appeared this weekend and was freaking me out.  I drink 3 liters of water a day-- onc nurse told me to drink as much as I can and that she would warm my arm pre-infusion.  I always walk before chemo to get blood moving as well then take a hot shower.  Anyother ideas on how to get my veins as cooperative as possible?  I really don't want to have to get a port now....  Will my veins go back to normal post-chemo?  They had trouble getting a vein for my blood count last week too.... 

Anyway-- I hope everyone is as well as they can be and thank you all as always for this message board--don't know what I'd do without it

H

lassie11

Deb - you only worked 6 hours!?!?!  and it's 95 degrees there?!  You are amazing!  I have worked not one day since this started. OK - I wasn't working before it started either because I retired - but still I can't imagine working at all through this. Maybe retirement has made me more zealous of my time to rest and do what I want. Those of you who have small children have my deep admiration as well (that's anything younger than having left home).

My #3 was today - great relief, ridiculous, I was hoping for chemo.  If it happened today then the next three weeks fall into place. Some relatives are coming from England in a week and I really want to enjoy their visit.  My blood counts were low, too low. But they were taken on Friday so the nurse took them again and behold - they were all right!

In between waiting and the chemo I went to the "Look Good Feel Better" workshop. As a person who rarely wears any makeup this was quite an education. Often the woman beside me had to point out the right potion to use. The kind volunteer lady said nice things but realized that my mascara skills were  . . . well . . . . nonexistent . . . so she sorted out the mess I made. Off I went with at least a couple of hundred $$$ of merchandise -- and I know the purpose of most of it. A lot of it is stuff I will actually use. If you get a chance - go - it's lots of fun. I would have liked to have stayed longer for the snacks and chat afterwards but I had to scuttle back upstairs to get the chemo that the nice nurses delayed so I could go to the workshop.

Maybe it was all that makeup - I feel quite reasonably well tonight. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

debbie6122

Sukiann- just getting ready to go to bed and seen your post, couldnt go to bed without sending my hugs and love to you, im so sorry that you had to deal with this, wish i could wrap my arms around you and give you a big ((((hug)))))) Im sure that the spa had to protect them selves in case somtrhing did happen, even tho it was so wrong for them to do that, and you are NOT a total reject, i think people think they are protecting us somehow not realizing how damaging it can be to us, today a guy held the door for me and i was about 1 minute a way from getting there, i had to run so he didnt have to hold it forever i felt kind of funny and thought he would of slammed the door in my face 3 months ago, not the same as what you went thru today, but people do care, they jsut dont know what to say or how to handle us,they tend to over do it-- 

lots of angel hugs debbie

luv4my5girls

Hi Everyone,

I finally did it...last night at 11:20pm...my husband shaved my head!  it is so weird!

I go for my 3rd treatment on Thursday the 25th.  Since my last treatment I have been really overwhelmed (frustrated, irritated and emotional) and I can tell it's happening but I can't control it...I hate it...I hate it...I hate it!   I know it's a side effect and I shouldn't complain because that, so far is the worst side effect that I think I have had. Being tired is natural for me so that doesn't bother me too much.  What can I do?

I am counting the days until my treatments are over...I can almost see the end of the road...I only have one more in July and as far as I know I will be done with my chemo 

I am worried about my side effects for these last two treatments...I hope I don't turn into a monster!

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on another note...does any one ever feel less feminine (sexual) because of your boobies being gone? I have been feeling like this.  is that weird  

ladbham

Hi  All

Lassi11- I did "Look good, Feel better" today also!  It was fun and I love the makeup.  I also picked up a couple of wigs - one is a bit ratty but looks good under a hat and the other is brand new.  I liked that each makeup bag had different things inside and all of it was great quality.

I have round 3 of DD A/C on Thursday - NOT looking forward to it. I was so tired after round 2 that I slept for 3 1/2 days had to take afternoon naps for the next 3.  To add to the stress my husband is leaving on Friday with our 9 year old to go camping for the weekend while my daughter spends the weekend with her campfire group.  That leaves me home alone with the 3 y/o all weekend.  Fortunately, my mother-in-law has offered to come take care of us which is great because she will wash all the dishes and do all the laundry - yea.  

I made a mistake and told my daughter about the Chemo brain SE - she is loving watching me struggle to find the right words and things.  Oh well, it will give her something to do this summer.

Enjoy the rest of the week.

 

luvtheocean

Good Morning Marvels!

I have been up since about 7.  Woot woot!  I slept in today....is that sad or what?  Sleeping in is 7 am...Whatever, it is better than 5! I spent the better part of the afternoon yesterday with my 16 yr old son driving me around.  Talk about the need for xanax!  What was I thinking day 6 after #3, you'd think I'd be smart enough to know my nerves would be shot.  He did a good job, the only thing that really got to me was him thinking he could complain about the other drivers on the road.  LOL  seriously has adopted Mom's road rage.  Road rage plus chemo plus roid rage = bitchy nervous mom.  LOL.  He did a fine job!  He is just a few hours from getting his license so I HAVE to get used to it.  I hate to hear about the whole pharmacy thing, but I have to tell you that you yelling at them about staring at the bald lady made me laugh.  I have so threatened to do that so many times and was told by my hubby and son that they would  leave me standing there alone looking like a crazy woman!  Sometimes, you just get to the point that you can't take it anymore!!! So I say more power to ya Deb!

It's day 7 only been up 1.5 hrs and already tired.  SUCKOLA!  Well, that is it for now.  Try to check in later.  I know a few have tx this week and many of you are on #3.......good luck girls, makes us one more closer to being done!!

gmp300

Good Morning May Marvels- hope this finds everyone in good condition.  Those who are not my prayers are with you!  Iam on day 6 post #2 tx.  Day 4 and 5 just like most of you's were my worst days.  Not to bad but more tired and yucky feeling than the 1st tx.  Also had that taste in my mouth which made it harder to eat and drink as much.   Iam trying to make up my water intake and keep rinsing my mouth with the soda, salt and club soda.  Seems to help.  this morning I feel much better.  My taste is back and I have some energy right now.  Don't know how long that will last but if it doesn't last long it is a beautiful day here in Michigan to go sit outside!!!  I hope everyone has a Beautiful Day--Geri

TexasRose

Don't have time to address everybody individually.  I am leavin soon for chemo #3. Lab work was good, so it's a go if my blood pressure behaves. My prayers to those getting treatment today, recovering from treatment, dreading treatment and everybody else that doesn't cover. Xanax is kicking in, so I'm looped.

Prayers and hugs for all!

Mary

taj72

Deb6563-So sorry to hear about your pharmacy problems.  Incompetence and apathy are hard enough to deal with when you aren't sick, let alone when you're not feeling your best. Whatever crap those employees got from the head pharmacist, it wasn't enough!  

Mary-Good luck with chemo #3!  

gmp300-I've read that it helps the metallic taste in your mouth if you avoid eating with silverware and use plastic cutlery instead.  Worth a try.  Hope it helps a bit.

luv4my5girls-this is a difficult journey and the people who love you will understand that at times (lots of times) you're not going to feel up to being positive or even nice.  Don't worry about how other people react to your emotional turmoil, just do whatever it takes for you to feel ok, even if that means being bitchy and emotional.   My mom is a perfect example of the grumpy chemo patient.  She is NOT a happy camper and she is not taking this with any degree of sweetness and light, but I don't care.  If it helps her to be angry or to be sad or to be grumpy and irritated, then I'm happy for her to be that way.  I just want her to do whatever it takes for her to maintain the motivation to keep going.  It's not easy and you have to get through it however you can! I know that this is NO comparison but it's the only analogy I have to relate to it...I HATED being pregnant.  I was sick and vomiting and felt AWFUL all day long for 7 out of 9 months of both of my pregnancies.  I was grumpy and whiny and bitchy and felt sorry for myself.  But at the end of the day, those emotions had to be released and not repressed and it helped me to survive what was a very difficult pregnancy.  I try to remind myself of how I felt then when my mom is having those moments and it helps me to empathize with her feelings.  One situation is clearly a blessing and another not so much, but pain and misery are still pain and misery when you're feeling it.  In short, be patient with yourself and know that your loved ones aren't expecting you to always be strong.  We will be strong for you when you can't be and we will accept you unconditionally even when you're at your worst because we love you.

Sukiann-wishing you peace and massages in the future!  Hugs!

Everybody- Hope you're having a good day and I'm praying for all of you! 

Janet22664

Hi All,

  Thanks for the inspirational notes on how to continue to exercise through all of this.  I believe it helps to keep the depression and side effects at bay.  I will try to get the courage up to attend Pilates, but if I don't, just last night I found out that the organization, Gilda's Club, an organization for people with cancer, have all kinds of programs and classes, one of which is Pilates!   So, if I attend their classes, I may not be the only baldy there! 

Janet

Can-D

Good afternoon May Marvels!!

I too have completed round 3 and have only 3 more to go, Taxotere. 

Geri-I hope your SEs do not get worse.  My onc gave my a script for the "swish and spit" mouth wash to prevent sores and reduce the metalic taste.  YUCK...I could not tolerate it. It is the nastiest stuff I've ever tasted.  The tought of it now makes my stomach turn.  So before you spend money on the "swish and spit" you may want to ask for a sample.  I have been using baking soda and water and that has worked rather well...and its free.  How is your hair doing?  I still have full covering, however thin. 

Deb-Sorry to hear about your ordeal at the Rx. Its bad enough we have to keep on top of our insurance companies, you shouldn't have to deal with incompetent and rude pharmacist. If its not much further, Id switch all my business to another Rx.

Hemen-I hate to hear that on top of treatments you are having trouble with the way they are administered.  A local woman that has completed her treatments had her veins damaged in the midst of treatment and had a port placement after her round 3, she had a total of 6 tx.  She told me she was glad she had the port.  I know you only have two more txs, but you if your onc recommends a port, I just wanted to let you know my placement did not hurt and I have had no problems with it at all.  It will leave a small scar though.

To all others, I wish you all the very best,

Candy

luvtheocean

Quick note to all, day 7 tx #3..........i have been in bed alllll day!  Nap at 1030, ate a couple of triscuts and back to bed, it's 430 & i finally took a shower.  No lie on them getting a little harder to recoup from at least for me anyway.  I hope the rest of you have better luck and don't have the longer recovery from each one.  I am finding that inner 'b' that you guys all know and hope she is going to help me out here in the next couple of days!  Maybe she can find something that sounds good to eat while she is at it!

Hugs!

Can-D

luvtheocean-I am day 5 out from 3rd tx and am finding it harder and harder to bounce back.  I have to return to the office tomorrow and am dreading it.  I wish I could just go away until all the treatments, even rads, are finished and not deal with people.  I know everyone means well but I really just want to be left alone.....until at least day 8. 

cs34

hi everyone,

i'm a may chemo girl but haven't been on the web site. i'm here now because i hit a low and i needed some comfort---to hear from people that won't tell me, "it's only temporary." or "think of the alternative. or this too shall pass or you're almost there...

i know people mean well but GEEZ...enough already!!! i feel like telling them to shave their head, tear out their boobs, have no nipples, remove stuff from your armpit, put a port in your upper left chest (another scar), cut both sides of your back, get expanded, go for chemo, feel nauseous, worry about se to the chemo, go for the neulasta shot and worry about bone pain that could come five days from now and THEN tell me it's only temporary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (so sorry. am i just a downer? ugh...i hate feeling this way...sorry!)

i've done two rounds of a/c and have the 3rd on Monday the 29th. my first neulasta shot hit me hard on the fifth day but i went walking and it helped. i had the 2nd on Friday the 19th so here i wait...ugh...BUT--"it's only temporary---" LOL

what i wanted to throw out to deb6365 (and all) is did anyone hear of taking acidophilus to combat the mouth sores? it's a probotic that my dr told me to use when i ended up on antibiotics for 7-8 weeks. i heard it helps with the mouth sores too. of course ask the dr if you can take it but hopefully it can help someone.

thanks for listening and sorry to be such a downer!

wishing peaceful treatments to all!!!

LRM216

CS - I too am on AC - last one this Thursday and don't have any mouth sores.  Do you sip/chew on ice chips or eat ice pops during the whole infusion - that has worked for me.  Good luck.

Linda

Indomitable1

Hi May Marvels! Finally getting over last tx...better but still no cigar.

cs34-I think I read about taking a probiotic on the ChemoTherapy Prep List. I've been taking Culturelle because I'm on an antibiotic pretty much during this whole phase. And feel free to vent and share here.

My onc gave me the Magic Mouthwash/rinse as well....and Thank God, I haven't needed it...it doesn't take much to induce nausea  in a woman on chemo even with adequately treated GERD.....BUT I hear it's really effective.

gmp300-I had been taking sublingual vit B complex (multiB-1, 2, 6, 12) but have just switched to a new organic liquid iron gluconate (non-constipating?) with the same B complex and small amount of Vitamin C. I have a thallassemia trait and tend to be rather anemic so my onc wants to make sure I keep my iron and folate levels up. Who could take iron with the constipation after chemo?  Did double check with my oncologist and she recommends the B-complex.

Janet22664-Had the double mastectomy followed by chemo (after total of 8 weeks of various drain combos)....surgery itself went well. I figured I would worry about reconstrux later. My goal was just to improve changes of survival. Was considering DIEP-lovely added benefits-but who wants to go thru more drains and pain? Of course, that's today-as I still fight nausea, etc from chemo this past Thursday. (was feeling so much better skipped zofran today. That'll teach me.) Let me know what you decide to do. It'll be a while for me.

Taj-Your mother is really blessed to have you in her support system. I'm sure it does take some creativity to put us and our reactions to our daily challenges  in proper perspective. I've been really blessed by my 23 yo dd's support (from a distance) as well as my husband's. My other children are ages 8, 11, and 15 and often look at me like I've just landed from another planet. Under any other circumstances, your mother would be profusely complimenting herself on doing such a good job of raising you!

Mary/TxRose-Here! Here! to living our lives and kicking TNBC's butt. I did read the TN sites initially and had to remind myself that Greater is He within me than the cancer that was removed from me.

luvtheocean: you have a way of expressing yourself that's just MARVELous!

And as far as exercise- I decided to step it down a bit. I was alternating walking 4 miles/day with circuit aerobics and yoga.  I've been going to Curves with my baby girl since starting chemo....so that we can both be sure to get in some exercise on the regular. (She was the only one to inherit my metabolism and an even stronger aversion to activity.) We do our normal stuff during the day plus have that quality time just for the 2 of us that we dedicate to ourselves/health promotion/cancer prevention. It's more challenging than it looked! Or is that chemo?? I skip days 1-6 post chemo (pending labwork, but have gone in with lysol wipes in my hands to hold the equipment with). On documented neutropenic days, I just do tapes at home.

My heart goes out to all the women who are living with metastatic disease.  I pray for all of us daily and keep us lifted on our prayer list at church. We all are in this together.

Here's to minimal if any SEs for those receiving treatment today/yesterday, strength and recovery for the rest of us, and Peace and NED for all.

God Bless.

deb6563

Becky- today is day 8 for me after treatment # 3 and this is the first time I have felt like getting out of  bed.  I am already dreading #4 because I may have to stay in bed for 10 days after that one the way things are going.

cs34- you are not a downer, we are all whining right now, so just jump right in and join us at our pity party.  I have been drinking acidophilus milk and it really hasn't helped.  Right now, I only have  one sore, but my tongue feels like it has been scrapped raw, and I did munch on ice chips during the chemo. Are you taking aleve and claritin with the neulasta shots?  It really does help.

I am starting to feel better after #3, but I think I already said that (chemo brain).  At least I don't feel like the vultures are circling overhead waiting on me to lie down so they can descend on me.

Hope everyone has a good night's sleep tonight and feels better tomorrow.

gmp300

Hello May Marvels!

Can-D-I just posted on the cold caps thread!  You answered my question on this one.  You start taxotere next time.  I think it will be alot easier on you than your first 3 tx .  A lot of the women have some of the bad SE but most of them seem to be doing ok.  Day 4 and 5 seem to be the standard for being tired.  I just finished #2 and day 4 and 5 I was tired but not bed ridden.  #2 seemed a little worse than #1 but today is day 6 and I feel great.  I even powerwashed my balcony today and worked outside.  So 2 bad days out of 21 isn't to bad at all.  At least for me.  I think the massive amounts of water Frank wants us to drink really helps.  I never got mouth sores just that taste on my lips and tongue.   Popsicles help and I rinse with Club soda, 1 tsp salt and 1 tsp of baking soda.  Also Biotene at night and in the morning.  this was the first time I got that taste and I don't want it any more!!  Iam so happy that you still have your hair and your 1/2 way thru!!! YEAH!!  Taxotere is suppose to have good results with the cold caps so you should do fine for the rest of your tx.  You are my inspiration!!  I always wonder if they (dh and df)  put them on right, or tight enough, or cold enough?  I know it works or I would of lost my hair by now.  Good Luck and keep in Touch-Geri

Texas Rose-Praying that #3 goes well for you and SE are minumal.  One more tx under your belt.  Your my hero doing dose dense.  I probably would be a big chix!!    Take care of yourself and drink, drink, drink!!   I have to try the Xanax!  I have a whole bottle but never took any!!

taj72-  I did try the plastic ware.  Iam happy to say that right now at this moment I can taste normally.  The bad medicniy taste is gone and hopefully never to return!!  That is what was making it hard to eat or drink and then I just felt sick to my stomach.  It all compiles!  Thanks again for the advice!!  Hope all is well with you.  You are a Godsend to your mother, she is so lucky to have you!

janet22664-the girl who teaches Zumba classes is Lisa Sayers.  She post on these threads quite often.  She taught her classes all thru her chemo!!  Good Luck with Pirates (what is that?)

luvtheocean-Sorry your feeling so bad.  You must try to eat more even if it taste yucky.  I find the less I eat the worse I feel.  Try to at least eat the healthy foods.  Your inner B is still there it is just taking a break.  We all need one.  Plus you just got married (didn't you) and this is not the way you planned it.  Hang in there your almost done!!  I had to laugh at your road rage!!  Or bitchy nervous mom!  I actually felt sorry for myself yesterday and wanted some extra luv from my dd.  She ignored ME!  HUH!  I looked at her and said " hope your summer sucks!!" with a really mean look on my face.  She looked at me wide eyed and left the room.  I couldn't believe I said that.  I explained to her that I was having a miserable day and that I was on steroids  (no excuse).  We laughed about it today.  I still can't believe how I acted !!  It's crazy!!!--Take Care

cs34-You unload all you want!!!  I had my pity party the other night!!  I think we hold so much in and try to maintain a normal life and actually none of this is normal!!!  I act so normal that everyone thinks Iam ok.  That's what I wanted! Right??    Right, but sometimes the people closest to you who are with you everyday haven't a clue what your going thru.  That's because we are strong women and we do not complain (most of the time)  Like me, I want everyones life, my dd and dh to go on as normal.  Meanwhile when they forget about me I get crazy!  So deep down we want the compassion.  We all want to be normal but the fact is that it is not normal to loose your breast, it is not normal to have TE in your chest for so long, it is not normal for LE and swelling and numbness and cording,  it is not normal to loose your hair and eyelashes and brow etc it is not normal to have the SE we all have etc  the list goes on and on and the worst part is that it seems like it is never gonna end!  But it will!  Have faith and keep pushing on to get this behind you and soon you will be helping someones else who is just starting this journey!

To everyone else-Warm thought and prayers to everyone!--Geri

debbie6122

Hi May Marvels- Just came to complain tonight, sorry i cant addrss every one because i feel like CRAPOLA , but before i move on i wanted to say to TexasRose that im glad your pap came back good, ive been wanting to say that for the last few posts and kept forgetting surprized im even remembering now lol!

Yesterday was day 7 for me after #2 and i woke up not feeling to good, i was tired and weak and forgetful and chemo brain was at an all time high, ( even kept calling my girlfriend bob instead of barb) for some reason thats all that would come out, she looked at me like i had totally lost it! today i went for WBC's and i heard the dreaded 'oh thats not good" next thing i know onc nurse is getting my onc and they tell me my wbc is at 1  and that i need to the shot now and every day this week, and see if it goes up, i hate that shot so bad, i got the bone pain on #1 it was so severe i didnt think i was gonna make it thru it, so didnt have to take it on #2 now i do, not just once but every day this week, and they put me on a really strong antibiotic that acturally they give to people with amthrax, get out!! The main se of it says could cause Death, wait you mean im taking this to save my life only to maybe die from it, i mean, geezopete, should i call family now or wait to see if i get that se!! so now im just waiting to see if the bone pain is going to be as bad as last time and praying its not, i have to stay home other than going to onc to get shot every day, and not be around any crowds at all for at least a week, course i dont feel like getting out of bed any way, good thing i have  a lap top, dont know what id do with out ya all!! Your always making me laugh up the yang-yang and only you all know what we are going thru

angel hugs-debbie

Sukiann

Morning May Marvels,

Hope you are in good spirits today.  I am doing well this week but I wish the sun would make an appearance!  For those of you out west, you're having a heat wave while in NE we're having day after day of rain. Yuck! 

Debbie612 - so sorry you are feeling so bad and that you have to get so many shots.  I hope it does the trick and you are feeling better soon. 

gmp300 - I hear ya on the family not being as supportive. As soon as you get up off that couch it's all over, they think you're back to normal and they don't pick up a finger to help!  So, don't get off the couch!! I had to laugh about your dd.  I too wanted some love (she's 15) one day right after chemo - I had just come home and was on the couch. She ran down the stairs yelling Mom!!!, I thought she was going to come over and ask me how I was with a big fat kiss. Instead she ran down the stairs with the phone in one hand (she was talking to her friend of course) and stood in front of me with a new outfit on asking me if she tucked in her shirt did it look good?  I just looked at her like you little self centered "you know what".  Not, how are you, what can I get you, how was it?  I guess that's what they are supposed to be doing at that age but really!

cs34 - It's temporary (only kidding!!) I think it's the only thing people know to say.  It gets old fast.

Debbie6563 - hope you are feeling better soon. I'm due to go back for my last chemo on monday the 29th.  I dread it too!  At least it will be my last.  Yahoo!

Indominable1 and Janet22664 - good for you on the exercise.  I'm not an exerciser and I plan to change that once this is all over.  I have tried over the years and at one point I was walking 4 times a week for over a year but then that ended.  I'm going to try yoga and take more walks. I hope this will get me back into shape. 

luvtheocean and can-d  - how are you feeling today??  Hope you bounce back soon. 

Taj72 - thanks for hoping for a massage for me.  Now that I'm over the whole fiasco I've got to work on getting my doctor's notes - how pathetic is that? a doctor's note to get a massage - and not one but two!

Hemen - thanks for the pm about the healing garden.  I want my massage now!!!  How are your veins doing?  I hope and pray that at this point you don't have to get a port.  You only have two more to go, right?  Where are you being treated?  Worcester or Boston or locally??

Texasrose - where are you?  How did it go for round 3 or should I even ask?  It went well and you have minimal se's.

ladbham - Chemo tomorrow, right? I hate the day before chemo, so hard to know that you're going feel like crap when you feel pretty good (at least I hope you are feeling ok today). Hope it goes well.

luv4my5girls - how's your bald head doing?  Are you relieved?  I hear ya on the irritabitlity and emotional issue.  I think it's the chemopause.  If this is what menapause is like then I need to up my meds!!!  I'm a lot more emotional and I'll cry at the smallest thing.  Mood swing, duck!!!

lassie11- how are you feeling today?  Getting ready for the relative from England?  I wish I had a look good, feel good worshop close to me but I would have to go to Boston (I think that's the closest) and I try to stay out of there - too much traffic!

For anyone I missed - hugs to you. I hope you are all doing well. 

 xoxo Sukiann

luvtheocean

Morning all!  Here's hoping day 8 is better!  I slept till after 7 this morning so that is a good sign.  Speaking of getting off the couch.....my son comes downstairs yesterday morning and says "Im hungry" I said ok so eat.  "I want a muffin"  "Where ya gonna get a muffin"  ""You"........I said "SERIOUSLY!  I had chemo a week ago and feel like shit!"  He said, "guess I'll have cereal then".

He is 16 not 6..........come on.  Super B Mom was out!  For his sake I hope the emotions stay on the down low today, I am honestly sick of myself right now.  I got totally ticked off last night becoz we went to dairy queen for ice cream.  There was this picture and it looked sooooooo good, thought it was hot fudge and caramel......took a great big bite to get a mouth full of not caramel but pnut butter!  DAMN IT!  I didn't want pnut butter!  Who puts pnut butter sauce on ice cream anyway???  So, my DH was like, here eat mine to which I replied ewww no it has pnuts on it.....he then offered to take me to another ice cream store.  By now, i dont want any friggin ice cream, i just want to go pout.  So now who is the 6 yr old?  Uhmmmm, its me!

Sukiann- Look at you responding to everyone!  I think I have lost my ability to think to that level of detail....I have 2 really awesome BFF's one is Lisa the other is Lora.........I never call them by the right name.  I almost called my husband (Skip) Mike the other night, uhhhhh that would be my ex husband!

Hugs!

TexasRose

Hey everybody! Checking in for day 2 after chemo #3. I was a little worried about it last night. I came home and crashed after treatment. I have never been so tired after treatment before. I thought this one was going to be really bad (and it still might be) but I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. I got a good night's sleep. Chemo nurse suggested my usual Tylenol PM and 1/2 a Xanax. It seemed to really help except I did get up once to pee- all that water!! And I got up this morning at my usual time feeling pretty good so far.

Day 2 is usually my best day in the beginning. I am planning on taking a few shirts I decided I don't like back to Macy's, going to see The Proposal with my mom and my sister, and then getting the Neulasta shot. Luckily, I have had very few and only minor side effects from that. After my running today, I will spend Thursday and Friday at home.

Do y'all take a lot of steroids? I only get them in the IV with treatment. I haven't really noticed the massive mood swings and I'm wondering if it's because I don't get a lot of steroids. I am maintaining my weight also and I'm wondering if that is also because of the steroids. I don't have loss of appetite like I did with the first one. I am eating and eating stuff I wouldn't normally. Not very healthy stuff, but still not gaining weight. 

Anyway, that's where I am day 2 after treatment #3. I do have chemo brain, so I am not even going to try and go back to the last page and remember what I read. Sorry for anybody I missed there. At least on this page, I can scroll up and see what's happening.

Deb6563- Sorry about your pharmacy story. I would have been beyong livid. Glad the head cheese came in and helped you out! LOL at the vulture comment!!

Hemen- Sorry about the vein issues. I have a port and I can't imagine doing this any other way. But I am getting 4 AC and 12 Taxols. Not getting a port wasn't even an option. I hope you don't have to get one with only two treatments left. On the other hand, they are a godsend.  

Leslie- I hear ya on the hoping for chemo! I booked a condo on the Texas coast for the "good" week in between AC and Taxol. I don't want any delays now or my well planned trip is out. I did buy travel insurance just in case, but I do not want to use it!

luv4my5girls- Welcome to the bald heads club. Sorry. I know it's hard. I'm getting used to it. I took a shower yesterday, toweled off and announced to my DH, "Hair's dry!" He just laughed. It's a long joke with us that it takes me forever to get my very, very thick hair dry. I'm trying to see the perks. Slap on some makeup, slap on the wig and I'm ready. It's really not that bad!

ladbham- Wishing you good vibes for Thursday. We are close in treatment since I just had #3 on Tuesday. Being tired is by far my worst side effect also. I can't even imagine being left alone to care for a 3 year-old! I hope you breeze through #3!!

Geri- Hope the yucky mouth taste has gone away. I screwed up yesterday and forgot to chew ice chips during the adriamycin. I hope I don't live to regret that with metallic taste. Ugh.

Taj- You are a wonderful daughter. I think it's great that you accept your mom's feelings even if they are negative. I do think being positive is a huge part of recovery, but negative feelings about this are reality. It sucks! And letting her have those feelings is necessary too.  

Debbie6122- Thanks for the kind words on my PAP. It was so thrilling to see No evidence of cancer on a report!

Janet- I am having trouble exercising too. I had great plans, but they haven't panned out. Too tired.

Candy- You are halfway there!!  

cs34- Sorry you are having a hard time. I get tired too of hearing "it's only temporary" or "it's just hair, it will grow back". EASY for them to say. They aren't walking around bald with one boob. I've lost my sex appeal. I know it is temporary, but that doesn't make it any easier. Well the hair is temporary. The boob ain't growing back. Vent all you want sister!! We know how you feel. (((Hugs)))

Linda- Good to see you! Hope all is going well!

indomitable- You are my new hero! All that working out!! Go you!!

Sukiann- I read that whole massage mess on the other page. I am so sorry for what they put you through. When I was doing my double flush last night, I told my husband that I feel like a leper. I hope you are able to get your notes and your massage. But it sucks that you have to jump through so many hoops to get something that is supposed to be relaxing!

Becky- Peanut butter sauce on ice cream is just nasty to me. I'd have been pissed too. And ice cream has become a staple in my diet. I love the cold.

Well, I have worn myself out here but wanted to send hugs and thoughts to my peeps!! My thoughts are with all of you!! Good luck to those with treatments left this week. It's gong to be triple digits here all week. Somebody save me!!

Oh and I can't remember who it was but whoever told the Drano story- I have laughed about that all week and shared it with everybody. I'm not sure people who aren't in our shoes right now get it, but I did and thought it was hilarious!!!!! Thanks! I needed that!

jabl1252

can-d,I just finished round 3 with taxotore on Monday,I was wiped out most of the day,woke up at three in the morning and could not shut my brain off.Kept thinking of all the things that needed to be done,all the cleaning yhat I haven't done.I think I finally fell asleep by 5:00 a.m..Got up at 7:30 a.m. I think the steroids kicked in cause I cleaned all day.It felt good to get the house cleaned.I have two boys and a husband and do you think they would do anything to help,heck no.Probably wouldn't let them anyways,cause it probably would not be good enough.I have three more rounds to go also.Got really constipated again,but not feeling to bad today.Hope everyone is feeling better then yesterday.My armpit doesn't hurt anymore,I am still dripping fluids so I guess that is why it hurt  somuch,lump went away,so that makes me feel better.Some of us are halfway done with the chemo,and I just want you all to know that I deeply appreciate this thread,I don't think I would have gotten any better advice anywhere else.Wish I could hug each one of you.Praying for you all to have a better day. Julie

taj72

Hi, ladies!  Wanted to share some great news!  As you  may remember, my mom is having neo-adjuvant therapy to try to shrink her tumor (5-6 cm) which had spread and grown into the chest wall, to be followed by a mastectomy.  Because she is triple negative, chemo and surgery are the only treatments available as hormone therapies (i.e., tamoxifen, herceptin, ect.) do not work on triple negative tumors.  This makes it so much more imperative that the chemo works since that's all we have to fight with.  Well...after the first month of chemo (she has six more months to go of weekly chemo treatments) the lab results and tests show that the chemo has already shrunken the size of the tumor immensely!!!!  That's great news for us on so many levels.  It means the chemo is working effectively (i.e., it is up to the task of beating her cancer).  It means she may get a pathological complete response by the end of her 27 week treatment (i.e., no sign of cancer cells remaining in her body).  If so, the doctor told us that this raises her chances of no future re-occurrences to 80%.  It means that if chemo has been this effective after only one month, it may be POSSIBLE (no guarantees or promises) that she won't require a mastectomy, she may only need a lumpectomy or maybe surgery won't be necessary!  But the biggest benefit of this news is that for the first time, after learning of the results yesterday, my mom told me that she thinks she's going to make it!!!  She is feeling so much more positive toward her chemo now and her rate of success.  I think this has done wonders for her in so many ways.  She sounded hopeful again.  Of course, we are only one month down, with 24 more weeks of treatments to go, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Thursday is chemo day, so we are back to the cancer center tomorrow.  Hoping mom's white blood cell count is high enough this week to restart chemo (she was neutropenic last week and had to skip it).  Doctor will discuss lab results in detail with us then, but for now, just riding the good news high.

Wishing you all the same success and good news in your treatments.  Have a great day!

jaelsne

Hi everyone,

  Getting ready for t/c infusion #3 out of 6.  Seeing that most of you are having more fatigue than you did previously, I'll hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.  None of this is fun.  I'm having the mid-treatment blues, as many of us seem to be experiencing.  I'm not far enough along in treatment to see the light at the end of the tunnel (have 4 chemos to go, then rads, then more breast surgery), and just plain old feel crappy.  I'm going to go to my local Wellness Community to take a Chi Gung class today.  Maybe I'll feel better after that.  Part of my problem is that I spend so much time alone, so I've made it a personal goal to get out once a day to see the world.  My daughter (thankfully) goes to day camp and is having a terrific time, and my dh works a lot.

  Someone mentioned "Look Good Feel Better."  I had a funny experience there.  Among my makeup gifts, I received an absolutely gorgeous Estee Lauder powder compact.  It was art deco, with a really neat drawing of a woman and piano on the front.  Found out later that it was painted by an artist, Erte.  Anyway, I oohed and aahed over the beautiful compact--until I opened it.  Written in beautiful script below the makeup mirror and powder was the heart-stopping word "Cancer!"  Turned out that the theme was the horoscope, and I happened to get the cancer one.  Can you imagine seeing that every time you open up the compact to look in the mirror?  One of these days I'm going to take it to a jeweler to see if they can do something to cover it.  In any case, I got a laugh out of the experience.

  Hope everyone has a good day today,

Jo Anne 

zuzeee

Hi Marvels

It is 4am and I am wide awake again. Just read all your posts and it looks like it is getting harder for most of you. I know that I am more emotional and certainly speaking my mind more but I am still enjoying life. I decided yesterday to skip work and head out to the golf course again, Day 9 after 2nd chemo. It was a great day as the weather was sunny, bright and a crispy 9 degrees C, the forecast for the weekend is rain. I can't decide if I want to go to a friends 70th birthday party on Friday nite, as I am worried about people with coughs and colds, but it seems a lot of you whizz around going to ball games etc.. only thing is here in NZ I am not getting the N shot but I think that with all the SE I am glad that I am not. Sorry I can't address you all individually but I laugh and smile with all of you.

Hugs Susie

cs34

i need all of your opinions, please. (i'll try and keep it short.)

being completely honest, i am 5'4" and almost 200 pounds. (wow! writing that out is NOT good...) anyway, my work friends (who have been AMAZING) and my sister (i also work with my sister) are telling me that i need to lose weight. they are saying it with love, not negativity, please know that.

so, my defense is to say that, "get on the bc website and tell the may chemo girls you think i should be losing weight right now and see what they say..."

so here i am asking what you all will say. :-)

they also want to see me eating healthier to combat the fatigue, etc...

your thoughts, please. :-)

Sukiann

 Good afternoon May Marvel,

I've been out shopping much to my husband's dismay!  That's what I do when I'm feeling good! A few notes for the new posts:

 Taj72 - Congratulations to your Mom and to your whole family.  Fantastic news!!  Made my day!

 cs34- I think the time to start with weight loss is after chemo is over.  That is not to say that you shouldn't think about making healthy choices now.  I don't think you should start restricting your calories too much.  You need nourishment now.  I've gained about 8 lbs and I'm not happy about it.  I am trying to make good choices but I have cravings!  It's so frustrating because I know that I'm not holding myself back as much as I did before but I also know that if I ate this way before the chemo I wouldn't have put on this much weight. I probably would have put on 2-3 lbs.  I know my body and the chemo is definitely making me gain.  I'm glad that you know your friend and sister are saying this out of love.  You don't need any negative feedback now.

Zuzeee- Glad you got out on the golf course.  I've been meaning to take lessons so I can play with my husband.  I would go to the party if you are feeling ok.  The only place I wouldn't go is to visit someone at the hospital or to someone's house where there's been sickness.  Other than that I'm out and about. I haven't had the nuelasta shot either.  My blood counts have been ok so they didn't give it to me.  I am so thankful!!! I haven't caught anything yet.... I hope I make it through to my last chemo saying this!

 Jaelsne - What is Chi Gung?? Sounds interesting.  That is funny about the compact.  I would find a way to erase it too.  My sign is cancer and I find that very ironic - although many people who are the sign cancer have cancer too it just figures!

Jabl1252 - take it easy and stop cleaning!! I find when I go like crazy doing stuff by the next day I am exhausted - especially a few days after chemo.  You're half way there!!!  Wishing you the best.

Ok, gotta go plant some flowers.  It has been raining here nonstop! I hope the sun comes out tomorrow. 

xoxo Sukiann 

deb6563

cs32 - tell your friends and sister to "stick it where the sun don't shine"  you are too busy trying to save your life to worry about weight loss.  My onc told me not to worry about my weight during chemo, the steroids keep me from loosing weight and she told me to eat what I feel like eating and we will worry about nutrition later.

Okay, my inner demon has come out and there is no controlling it.  I woke up this morning with no mouth sores but to my dismay, the sores have moved to my throat.  It hurts so much to swallow that I can only get liquids down.  I called the onc and she is calling me in some medicine to help with it (let's see if kroger messing my rx on this up )  I went to McDonald's today at lunch to get a milkshake since my throat won't let me swallow food and as I am sitting in the drive thru, a man is walking into McDonald's and keeps starring at me like he has never seen a cancer patient before.  I was so mad that I stuck my tongue out at him.  He turned his head and acted like he didn't see me.  I felt like getting out of the car and screaming at him.  This morning I snapped at one of my employees and actually made her cry, and didn't even care that she was crying.  I would never have done that BC (Before Chemo).  What is going on with us?  We have turned into chemo monsters.

TexasRose -  glad you liked my draino story, I got a million of them to keep you laughing.