Starting Chemo April 2009

hrf

Judy, your reaction is not unusual. Even when I think I'm fine, something will set me off and I'll sob uncontrollably. It's difficult as our lives have forever changed in some ways.

I don't know what to do about my hair - or lack of it. I don't want to wear a wig and I'm so self-conscious about being almost bald ..... I hate it. Does anyone have an idea for me. The minoxidil didn't do much good so I stopped using it.

JudyNaomi

Titan and Helen, thank you both for your support! Titan, I hope your appointments go ok on Thursday. Please keep us posted. I completely understand your worry over a cold, the slightest things sets us off thinking of all the scenarios! I hope you feel better soon. Are you resting and drinking lots of warm soothing drinks?

Helen - I wish there was something that I could say to make you feel better about your hair situation. I never took anything, but the woman who straightened my hair, said I should take Biotin. Did you try that? I am sure you did. I am sorry that I cannot be of much use to you. I really am. Have you considered fun hair coverings? I know it is not the solution that you are looking for, but it can change an outfit and make you feel better too!

I am feeling a little better today, although very tired. I had a big melt down this morning with the whole family about them not helping me enough and just expecting too much from me. Anyway, I hope that will have blown over by the time we all reconvene at supper tonight

That is all from me. Sending everyone hugs, including those not mentioned individually. I will come by again soon, Judy xxx

Titan

Helen..I too wish I could help you with your hair..have you consulted with a beautician? Maybe he or she could help you with the hair growth..or maybe a really cute, really short hair style...we have an excellent shop in my town..when I went topless she made my 1/4 inch hair look stunning..no lie..I liked it...in fact thinking about going back to that again..it looked great...certainly someone could do something..!

My cold is feeling better..I'm feeling Ok about my appts..just want to get them over and move on..again..for 3 months

Does anyone accidently feel themselves up in public?  I swear, I've got to watch myself sometimes..funny stuff..I guess really not funny..but sometimes I have to catch myself..! 

Judy..your family is expecting you to be the way you were before..and I know you are trying hard to be that way..but it is soo hard to do that...when I tell my family..if they want something (like late at night)..I just say tomorrow..or maybe the next day..or do it yourself. that shuts them up...and it's not just the fact that I have/had BC..its the fact that these things really don't need done right away..they can wait...I have had to learn that too...there is no use staying up late to do a load of clothes or whatever..throw them in the washer at night and then throw then in the dryer the next morning...it's not a big deal.

Sorry you lost your post Geri..I think I can hear you swearing..ha ha

hrf

Thanks for your support all. Yes, I've been to several hair places and they just want to give me a wig. I've been to a dermatologist and used Minoxidil for about 6 months. I have been using Biotin 2x a day since I finished chemo. My onc said that the Taxotere can cause permanent hair loss and she has other patients like me. I'd love to go back to a short, cute haircut but my hair is so so so thin that my scalp shows through. I've had only 1 little trim since I finished chemo (June 2009) so not only am I half bald but the growth is very slow. If I cut it short, I would not even be able to do a little comb over. As well the hair I do have is damaged in that it has no body and just lies flat. I had thick, thick curly hair with lots of body. I used to complain about the curls but I'd give anything to have it all back. Every time I see myself in the mirror I wonder who that old (fat)bald lady is. It sure doesn't look like me.

I've started Rehab. There is a new program here for bc patients - current and past. At the Toronto Rehab Hospital they offer a 4 month program that includes an assessment, then an exercise prescription. I can go two times a week and there is a wonderful woman there - don't know her background....nurse maybe? Physio maybe? Anyway, they understand everything about the lymph nodes, scar tissue etc. During the training she gives a lot of individual attention and encouragement. They also bring in dieticians, social workers etc. It includes aerobics as well as resistance training. It seems like a great opportunity - no cost - paid for by our universal health care system. I won't be able to go 2 x a week as most of the classes are during the day when I'm at work but on Tuesdays it's in the evening. And I have "homework" to do between classes.

It's late ... time for bed. I have to meet with angry parents in the morning. They actually threatened a vice-principal and police had to be called.

JudyNaomi

Thanks for your encouragement Titan. You know, last night, I actually just pleased myself. I didn't prepare dinner and nobody starved! I just need the time for myself and not to be jumping for everyone all the time. Although, I still think that we need to sit and talk it out, but I am not confident that will make a difference. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words.

Helen - I am still so sorry that I cannot suggest anything to help you with your hair situationl. But the rehab program sounds like a great opportunity.

I don't know how you do your job. You must have the patience of a saint!

Sorry to rush, but I have an appointment at school to get to! Titan, good luck for tomorrow : )

Hope everyone is ok today, hugs to you all, Judy xxx

JudyNaomi

Titan - thinking about you! Let us know when you are back from your appointments.

Hugs to all, Judy x

inthemoment

Haven't been feeling so well - hoping it's nothing, but you all understand what goes through our minds.  Feeling a little short of breath and some lower chest pain with a cough.  I'll give it another day, and then I guess a call to the doc is in order - ugh, I hate this.

Oh, and by the way, I feel this crappy on my birthday - yup, today is the day, and I am very grateful t be celebrating one without chemo!

Please send healing thought this way - don't want to go to doc!

Titan

My appts. were fine...had a good breast exam from the BS.no lumps, no bumps, lymph nodes fine .wants me to have a colonoscopy..yuck!..I told him..fine..after the holidays...I'm just NOT ready to go through anxiety again...am I in the land of De Nile..yes..and I like it there...but(t)..ha ha...both my dh and I are going to have one in January...not until then, no way, no how.

Saw the PA today..not the onc..I switch back and forth..he had a student with him..it was a little uncomfortable...ya know...reading all the threads on here..sometimes I think I know just as much as they do...

I still have to see the onc every 3 months for two years..then every six months for two years..I know this is good for me but honestly..whatever..I will do it..I just want it to be DONE! 

JudyNaomi

Geri - sorry that you are not feeling so well. You may be completey exhausted from working full time and there a lot of coughs around, try to rest. I am sending you healing thoughts and hope you feel better soon. And of course Happy Birthday!!!!!!!! Yes a birthday without chemo is definitely worth a few martinis!!!  Please come by and let us know you feel.

Titan - sooo pleased to hear that your appointments went well! I love your posts, they always make me laugh. I see my Onc again in February, I am still on 3 month checks with the BS in between. It would be great to be done with it all. Wishful thinking.....

I have had the most busy and crazy week, my middle daughter thought she had broken her arm, so we spent all of yesterday afternoon and this morning running around getting her checked out and she is fine! Just bruising! She is away with school this weekend, she really wanted to go and the doc said it was ok, so she was very happy about that! I do miss them when they go away at the weekend. My eldest is also away, so it is just me, hubby and our 8 year old son! I hope I get some sleep, I am worn out. I don't cope well sitting in doctor's waiting rooms.

I hope everyone else is doing ok. Helen, Lena, Alaina, Amy, Betsy and everyone, thinking of you!

Hugs to all for a sunny weekend, Judy xxx

Titan

Oh Judy..you get to baby your son!  Sweet!  My son is supposed to come home this weekend but he has the stomach flu..I don't know if he will be coming home or not..waiting to hear..I just feel bad that he is 2 hours away, sick and without his mom to take care of him..

Hope you feel better Geri..it is so easy to freak out about a cough..my cold is still hanging on but I feel OK...I did go jogging today and then on the way home I coughed and almost peed myself..YUK!

inthemoment

Hi all,

Feeling a bit better, chest pain is gone, still have a cough, but I think things are improving - thanks for the good thoughts, I know they help. 

Judy and Titan, I had to put all my follow-up appointments on hold in October while I had a major project going on at work...now I have to squeeze in plastic surgeoun, bs, onc, pulmonologist and cardiologist (not to mention the mundane dentist!) - still better than the year of weekly Herceptin infusions, but we all get it...we want to be DONE!!!

I hope you all have a great weekend

Geri

JudyNaomi

Titan - glad you made it jogging, but you made me laugh so much! I know it is yucky when that happens, but the way you wrote it....... I hope your son feels better soon.

Geri - glad the chest pains have gone now, coughs can hang around for ages! I remember that from when I was a smoker years ago. (Wow, it really is years ago now).

Appointments are a pain, but at least if you get them all out of the way close together you have a run without any. I try so hard not to think about them in between and for the most part I manage, but sometimes, I just get to feeling sorry for myself and then I think about it all the time.

We had a good weekend with our son. He chatted with us all through supper on Friday, he is very cute and has a lot of interesting stuff to say! Yesterday, we had company, so after he had eaten he played outside with the neighbours. Everyone is home now and we hope to get out this afternoon to enjoy this gorgeous fall weather! Unfortunately, even with the extra hour last night, I did not sleep well so am not in a good mood today : (

Hope everyone is doing ok and I will come by again soon. Hugs to you all, Judy x

AmyIsStrong

Guess what ladies! Two things - #1, I went on VACATION - something I almost never do but am DETERMINED to do more of in my post-BC life!  We went to a timeshare that I bought on Ebay during chemo. It was a totally bizarre and out of character thing for me to do (buy the timeshare week) but in retrospect, i think I needed something to look forward to.  So now that we own it, we had to USE it.  So we took a week at the Skyline Drive area of Virginia. The place was wonderful and the scenery was absolutely beautiful. My husband is a photographer and he will probably put a slideshow on his website -I will post the link when he does. It was really enjoyable. However - the food was crazy. That culture's idea of a balanced dinner is bbq sandwich and the vegetables are mac/cheese and potato salad!  I feel like I didn't see a green vegetable ALL WEEK.  Well maybe a plain iceberg salad, but that barely counts.  It was not a gourmet area, that's for sure. I kept saying I wanted to have lunch in a 'cute bistro' and it became a running joke because the places were called "My Pappy's Place" or "Sonny's BBQ" or "The Smoking Pig." (I'm not kidding!)

And second - the BCO fundraiser concert with Harry Connick Jr was last weekend. I wasn't able to go b/c we were on vacation. But they screened the movie that I took part in (remember that?).  I got a voicemail from a work colleague that said he was at the concert and saw me on the screen!  I am going to get the link to it this week and will post it here for you to see - hopefully tomorrow!

I will say this - I DEFINITELY can tell my thermostat/temperature regulator is totally ruined by chemopause.  I am ALWAYS either too hot or too cold.I am almost never just comfortable. It is very frustrating.  I must've put the car window up and down about 100 times, took my jacket on/off, etc. Sometimes I got so hot I could feel the sweat rolling down my back. Or else I was shivering with the cold.  I wonder if it ever gets better. It is a very aggravating condition.

But we had a great time and I am so glad we did it.  I did read up on everybody's posts on my IPAD but couldn't write anything till we got back.

JudyNaomi

Amy - your trip sounds great! It is good to do things that are out of character sometimes! I loved reading your description of the place, especially about the food! Well, it was great that you got away and we look forward to seeing the photos.

My body temperature is also barely ever comfortable. I am either very hot or very cold. We have only just started using the heat at home and after it has been on for a while, I get a headache and find myself burning up, but at the same time my feet can be freezing. I just put it down to one of those things, (like all the rest) that I just have to get used to. I try and wear a wrap so I can easily put it on and take it off when I need to.

Helen - how are things going with the parents at work this week? And how are you feeling? Are you feeling any brighter?

Geri and Titan, hope you are both feeling better. Lena, please come by and tell us how you are doing. Betsy, Alaina, thinking of you!

Hope everyone has a good day today! Hugs, Judy x

Alaina

Hi Everyone!

Amy ~ I didn't even know you could buy timeshares on Ebay!  Interesting.

So far today has been not so great.  I had a wonderful weekend, but woke up this morning totally grumped out and I'm not sure why.

I have a frozen shoulder / scalpular inpingment thingee going on with my shoulder, and my new PT recommended I get this shoulder brace/deveice that you use 30 minutes a day, 3 times a day, to do consistent gentle stretches  that should get me back to my full range of motion in about 3 months time.  My insurance will pay for this device and she told me it gets delivered to wherever you're getting treatment and then she will show me how to use it.  The company that sells the device also called to confirm my insurance would pay for it and to let me know it was being mailed to the hospital where I get PT and should be there by tomorrow or Wednesday.

Ok, so I really don't want to use this thing, but I also want my range of motion back, and physical therapy just hurts like h*ll, so at this point, I'm willing to try anything that will alleviate the pain of those sessions as much as possible.

So I get this call today from a man who says that's he's the person the company sends to teach me how to use the device and he needed to set up time to meet with me at the hospital. For some really odd reason, I just started screaming at this man on the phone!  I told him I had no idea who he was, and I was NOT going to meet him at the hospital, and that neither the company nor my PT ever said anything about someone else teaching me how to use the d*mn thing, in fact both said it was my PT's job to teach me.  I then went on to scream that I would NOT NOT NOT pay for his services, and this was probably just some sneaky way to bill MORE to my insurance, and there was no reason to pay a 3rd party for something my PT would (should) do.

I told him to call my PT and see if SHE said this was the proper way to handle instruction for this device.  He said he couldn't do that, so I said fine, I would call her.  Which I did, after taking a few minutes to calm down.

She said that she was sorry she didn't make it cleear to me that she wasn't the actual person who teaches how to use the device, and that the company always sends someone to provide instruction on the correct usage of the device, and that it would be at no additional cost to me or my insurance.

*sigh*

Honestly, I think I'm just really sick of all these "extra" ailments that come along with cancer and its treatments.

Enough already!

I'm now scheduled to meet with the guy I screamed at.  I hope he understands.

I feel bad...sort of...

Alaina

AmyIsStrong

Oh Alaina - I am so sorry that happened.  Sometimes random things just become the 'tipping point 'and push us over the edge. I am SURE if you just say you were having a rough time, he will completely understand and that will be the end of it.

I also know from what you've told me before  (and you KNOW I am saying this with love) that you are not always the most 'compliant' patient about your exercises, etc.   It is hard to have the discipline to follow through and do what they tell you - but it really WILL help. Try to set time aside in your schedule and make it a part of your life and hopefully you will see results that make it worthwhile.

I had a rotator cuff impingment and it really really hurt for a few months. I finally stopped doing pushups and other weight lifting exercises that were aggravating it, and it is almost totally better now. Also I had a 'mouse elbow' problem - my sister in law had the same thing and taught me the exercises her PT taught her, and I have been doing them pretty regularly and can see a lot of progress.  So stick with it, girl!

Titan

Alaina..you crack me up..it just doesn't end does it!  But you do have to stand up for yourself...sometimes I have a sneaky suspicion...just kind of..that just sometimes..if you have good insurance..the medical profession kind milks that...maybe I'm wrong but geezzz..like did I really have to see the rad onc when 2 other doctors have already taken looks at my breast the same day?  How many doctors does it take?  Heck..I know that it looks fine and I'm not a doctor!

Amy..I love the south...and I dearly love BBQ...when we were on vacation though I avoided the bbq and got smoked turkey breast...with collard greens!  I thought they were healthy until I found out they are cooked with ham hocks..oh well...they were delicious...but vacations are just for that..maybe eating out of the norm...my DH and I stopped at a bakery and bought custard filled chocolate doughnuts after our 4 mile walk up the beach..absolutely delicious! 

JudyNaomi

Oh Alaina! What a story! As Amy says, something unexpected can set us off and I am sure that if this guy is in the business he is, then he has probably come across others who are frustrated, I am sure he will understand. And yes, of course we want it all done with. I haven't even had my reconstruction yet, but even when I get really tired and my legs start to ache, or I have a panic attack or forget what I was going to say - it is always there to remind us and it is hard - that is why you can come here and vent to us! That is why we are all here, to share, good and bad. And let us know how it goes with the new device.I remember after surgery, I did my PT excercises every day and they really did help to get me back my full range of motion.

Titan - you are too funny! I would also eat like that on vacation (problem is, I sometimes eat like that when I am NOT on vacation..).

I have given up trying to work out what goes on in the minds of Health Insurance Companies. Last week, I had to visit 3 doctors with my daughter, all of whom told me that her arm was not broken and she was fine. So, I eagerly await the bills for those visits.

Amy - good to hear from you! The discipline you have with your excercise is amazing - I am still going for 2-3 times a week, but those few pounds are just not shifting around my middle and the cold is making me hungry. I try to be careful, but sometimes, I just don't manage. At least my weight is not going up : )

Hope everyone is doing well today, take care and sending hugs! Judy x

inthemoment

Hi all,

Alaina, when we're left in the dark, and some guy calls out of nowhere to say he's going to "teach you" how to use your new device, well, sure he got the full wrath!  What irks me most is when the medical professionals (and I'm one of them) don't bother to keep the most important person in the loop - US!  You just holler away - we're all behind you - he's a big boy, he can take it!

Everyone is making me feel soooo guilty - I cannot get the energy or motivation to exercise - oh wait, yes, I do exercise - I open the outside door at 6AM, and bend and lift the newspaper - ah come on, that's got to count for something - at least I don't send the dog out after it.

Getting ready to line up my cancelled and yet to be rescheduled doctor appointments - I know you all feel my pain!  Want to get them out of the way before the holidays.

Speaking of...out of character for me (like Amy), I made plane reservations for me to travel to Greensboro, NC to spend Thanksgiving with my brother and his family.  Will travel alone on Thanksgiving morning and return Saturday afternoon.  Everone keeps saying how brave I am to go alone - noooo, I was brave going through chemo and surgery - this is a piece of cake...let's hope so anyway...have to make a very quick connection in Atlanta, so it could be more of an adventure than I'm planning on.

I also just made reservations for my manfriend (goodness, what to call a 55 year old boy toy???), and I to visit a couple that we are friends with in Naples, FL in March.  Flying into Orlando and staying one night at Disney World - going to pay Mickey and Minnie a visit!  Then on to our friends for a few more days.

I'm feeling better - not back to baseline, but better.  I can really do a number on myself if I let my thoughts go to that dark place, so I come here and talk to my friends, and that really helps.

Hope everyone is enjoying fall - and Lena, where the heck are you?

Geri

Titan

Hey Geri..I think "boy toy" is just perfect..ha hah...nothing wrong with that..I call my DH a boy toy sometimes and he just loves it...even though he is older than I am...they are boys no matter how old they are..it keeps the marriage going...or the relationship..whatever you have going...oh..don't feel to guilty about not exercising...I exercise but I'm still "fluffy"..whatever..I ate a chipolte burrito today and I loved every minute of it..have any of you eaten the whole thing..well. I almost did...the only reason I didn't finish it off because I was with two guy co-workers and I didn't want to seem like a pig!  I could have done it though...good luck with your appts..you will be fine...though you will freak out before like we always do.

Hey Lena..we miss you sweetie!

JudyNaomi

Geri, so good to hear from you! Please do NOT feel guilty about the excercise. I really strggle with it and am not really enjoying it either at the moment, I just feel that I have to do it. You are also working full time so it is no wonder that you are not really in the mood for it.

Your two trips sound great, it is nice to spend the Holidays with family. You are so right, brave is what we have been through. You may enjoy the airport and flight time, just to be with yourself, a good book and a cup of coffee. Let us know when you schedule your appointments.

I am doing ok today, but soooo tired! I just could not get out of bed this morning. I am not working today so plan to spend the next couple of hours taking it easy before I need to go fetch the kids from school. I am feeling really fatigued at the moment. My husband said I should get it checked out, but I know that will definitely take me to that dark place again, so for now, I will just try to get enough sleep and look after myself more.

Titan - as always, you made me smile with your post!

Hugs to all for a great day, Judy x

Titan

Hey Judy..listen to your DH..maybe your blood is a little low in something...did you tell your onc you were tired?  Is it fatigue or just plain old sleepy?  There is a difference..I know you don't want to go the dark place again but..maybe have it checked out...OK????  Please???

AmyIsStrong

Judy - one thing to consider - this is the first week after we changed the clocks back. I know that as I get older, it definitely takes me a week or so to adjust once the time changes. If this is recent, it may be a factor.  Maybe wait until next week and see if it improves a bit.  Also are you tired all day or do you just have a hard time getting started in the morning but then are better as the day progresses? I know that the colder it gets, the harder it is for me to get out of bed.  I have fantasies of wintering in Florida like the old people did when I was growing up in NY.  Am I one of them now???

I don't blame you ONE BIT about not wanting to go back into the medical world. I know we have to, but I sure do hate it.  Keep us posted please.

I've had some persistent hip pain the past few days.  I think it is because we did so much driving and I was sitting in the car so much on vacation, it probably just got stiff and sore from that. But of course my 'dark side' has me convinced that the cancer has spread throughout my body and is destroying my bones.  I guess this nagging worry is always something we will have to deal with now.

Am very thankful for the little space heater under my desk warming my feet this morning! Stay cozy everyone.

Amy

JudyNaomi

Titan and Amy, thanks so much for your support. I will give it a little longer and if there is no improvement, I will see the doc. I find it hard to get going in the morning, then I am able to function ok and then when I stop, it sort of catches up with me. When I saw my Onc at the end of Aug, she did blood work and everything was fine. Actually, this year, I had a bad night on the night the clocks changed, so I didn't feel refreshed from that extra hour like I used to. But I will definitely keep you all posted and thanks as always for your concern.

It would seem that we all allow our imaginations to run wild if we have the slightest ailment. Amy, I hope your hip pain eases up and please keep us posted on that too.

Must run, to the Veterans Day performance at school : )

Hugs to all and stay warm, Judy xxx

Anonymous

Okay, nobody fall over from their chairs . . . yes, is it me, Chelev!  I just wanted to drop in and say hello and see how everyone is.  Been a crazy few months.  I did get a job, a much less paying but satisfying job that I hope will grow $$ as the company grows - it is a new medical start up, just over a year old, close to my home.  we make a nylon funnel that plastic surgeons use to propel gel implants for augs and reconstructs.  Funny how I have been guided to a job working with boobies!  For anyone of you on facebook (michele ramsay vongerichten), you can see my hair is growing and I made a very small ponytail the other day while trying to work out.  I am traveling with this job, going to medical conventions, so it's similar but different from my old job, if that makes any sense. 

Started back with tamoxifen this week, after my onc and I decided that the hives I had last winter (and this summer and now again) are not related to it, but are a severe mold allergy.  We're geting the a/c replaced on Monday and i am hoping this helps.  She did say that they do not know what effects long term chemo has, so it is possible that I am more prone to severe allergies.  Fun.  and, the bone pain is starting already but it wasn't bad last time, so I am going to tough it out because i know we need to be on something long term.

Judy, my onc also told me that fatigue can creep up on us more easily than others, because of the rigors our bodies have gone through.  I hope it resolves somewhat for you.  good seeing you all, Alaina, Titan, Helen, Amy, Geri.  Can you believe we are coming up on our 2 year anniversaries? 

I try not to visit any dark places, it is hard, isn't it, the minute we have something weird happen.  Checkups with the onc continue to be good.  I am trying to eat well (read:  right), and splurge at least once a week.  My onc would prefer me to lose about 10-15 pounds, and I am trying, but not killing myself.  I know weighing less is better, but I try not to stress over it.  Working out a few times a week, I have discovered Zumba and really like it - I like to dance anyway.  Drinking a nice glass of wine every night, just because.  I figure it's almost the same as resveratrol, and now that I'm making less, I am not buying so many expensive supplements, but trying to get the same benefits in food (or drink.).

Hope you all are doing well, and I'll check back in with you all now that you have gotten back into your chairs.  Hugs.

Michele

AmyIsStrong

Michele!!!!!  How wonderful to hear from you. Glad things are going well. Your post made me smile!  Keep on going with that ponytail and doing Zumba. You go girl!

JudyNaomi

Chelev - so good to hear from you!!! I am really happy that your job is working out and that you feel like you are doing something worthwhile! And I love the sound of that Zumba! I have heard it is lots of fun!

You sound great, keep up the good work!

Today I visited the Dermatologist, to see if he could help with 2 fingernails which don't want to grow properely since chemo - he couldn't really suggest anything, just said to take Biotin, which I have never taken before, so I may start to do that.

Hope everyone is ok and has had a good week. Hugs to you all for a good weekend, Judy x

BetsyBuzz

Is anyone else's hair growing super slow? My bangs have yet to reach my eyebrows- they haven't been cut. They almost reach my brows when they are wet but then shrink to half size when my hair curls and dries. I use to have to have my hair trimmed every 4 wks, now I can go 8 weeks or more between trims. I'm keeping the rest of my hair fairly short, WAITING on those bangs.  

I am still exercising regularly, haven't lost a pound but I definitely can feel a difference. Alaina, my shoulder seized up too. Exercise REALLY does help. I know what you mean about PT being painful. I've been going to PT for about six months now and exercising for about a month and a half and my range of motion is about 90%. I may never get it all back because of the fibrosis in my chest and back.

Judy- are you feeling better? You always sound so tired.

Tomorrow I'm having 10 friends over for a potluck dinner, we are breaking in the new kitchen. I'm making a batch of chicken enchiladas and a batch of vegetarian enchiladas. The rest of the meal is a mystery. It should be fun.

GO DUCKS!!! The game tonight was ugly but it's still a win.

hrf

Hi everyone. Hope you are having a good weekend. I'm so tired from work that all I want to do on weekend is sleep, rest, be lazy. I've started a rehab program for bc women at the Toronto Rehab Institute. So they've given me an exercise prescription and I'm  trying to follow it. They start me off slow and the intent is that over the 4 months of the program that I get stronger. I'm finding it so hard to diet and exercise and rest and still live if you know what I mean. I'm starting to see signs of lymphedoma in my left arm. I go to the clinic this week but I probably should have gone earlier but I've been in DeNile. My hair - what little there is - is also very slow growing. Since June 2009 when I finished chemo I've had only one little trim. I'd like to wear it short and cute but then the bald spots would be harder to cover. This never does go away does it?

JudyNaomi

Betsy - so nice to hear from you! Yes, I am tired a lot of the time, I just feel like I never catch up with myself. I went to the Mall today with the family (huge mistake pre Holidays!) as my daughter is taking a school trip and needed some bits, it was so noisy and busy, I thought my head would explode! But, my husband felt that way too, so I know it wasn't just me. My hair did not reach my eyes, until I did the Brazilian straightening and now it does which is great. It is not really bangs, but just falls halfway over my forehead. I too excercise and haven't lost a pound, but I also feel the difference. Hope your dinner goes well, it sounds like fun!

Helen - nice to hear from you too! Let us know how that excercise program works out for you. Also, keep us posted on that possible lymphodema. I hope you have a good week. And I suppose in answer to your question, it doesn't really go away, it just plays a different role in our daily lives as time goes on.

So, all in all, life is good and I hope you all have a good week ahead!

Hugs to everyone, Judy x