Starting Chemo April 2009

inthemoment

Sooo happy for you Amy - yes, please send facebook link for pictures..this itty bitty one looks so beautiful, I want to see MORE!  Your hair looks great, and normal tired is ok, especially after a wedding weekend!  You are now a Mother-in-Law!

Geri

BetsyBuzz

OMG - Amy you have me crying too. But this year instead of tears of pain it's tears of joy for making it this far. I don't think any of us will take health for granted again. I hope your daughter's wedding day was magical.

Geri- I loved your pioneer women analogy. Thank you.

Titan - last year the steroids effected our eyes so much I couldn't see the broad side of a barn. So maybe you are just seeing clearer this year, LOL. If you find the genus of that money tree, let me know!

Judy - it's ok to make up for last summer with your kids but remember to take care of yourself first. I'm sure they want Mommy to be healthy and happy and not stressed.

I have a mammogram tomorrow and my six month visit with my onc on Thursday. I feel like I'm doing well. I hope my lab work proves it. I am stressing a bit on the blood draw...they can never seem to find a vein on me anymore so they have to really dig. It hurts...so I stress about it. I need to remember to breathe deep before they start. 

AmyIsStrong

Ok let's see if this works - very preliminary set of shots but will give you a general idea.

Also, the maid of honor (purple dress) is my younger daughter. You can see her in a few of the shots. I walked her down the aisle (at her request) with my ex husband. My awesome now -husband is the one with the shaved head.

More details to follow. But look here:

 http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2367122&id=11313183&l=a2d47400aa 

If the link doesn't work, let me know. I'm not the most savvy facebook person!

(edited to correct the link - I told you i'm not so good at Facebook!)

JudyNaomi

Amy - I am so happy that it all went well and you look great in your photo here. I will try the facebook link too. These moments are so precious for all of us which makes us enjoy them so much more I think.

Betsy - good luck with your appointments this week and let us know how it all goes. Thank you as always for your encouraging words.

Alaina - so sorry to hear the news about your aunt. Sending hugs and prayers for her.

Helen and Titan - hope you are doing well. Helen, all soooo exciting for you! Enjoy your week off!

I am afraid that there is a line here for the computer, so sending you all hugs and I will visit again during the week.

Judy xxx

hrf

Amy, you picture is beautiful and I'm so pleased to hear about the beautiful wedding. Best wishes to you, your daughter and the entire family.

Our wedding is this Thursday........everyone is very excited.

Titan

Amy...love that dress...I guess the mom of the bride CAN look beautiful...my turn next!  After Helen that is!

Betsy B..good luck with your mammo tomorrow..maybe you have "boring" breasts!

 Geri!  Mother in law!  Yikes...do you guys like your mom in laws?   I sometimes yell at my dd's fiance because his name and my son's are close...Mitch and Matt..and he just flinches....I may be loud on the outside but actually I'm quiet inside...My DH and I usually take his side because my DD is just like me..we feel like we have to stand up for him! 

Have a good week everyone...Judy..the craziness continues...the summer is flying by and the guinea pig treadmill continues...oh well..I guess I will just rest in September.

Who else has doctor appts. coming up?  I'm free until August.

Another thing...has anyone had their pap tests done?  I'm two years from my last one and I know I need to go but I certainly am in no mood..I'm going to make an appt..but  YUCK! 

BetsyBuzz

I need help. I can't seem to get to Amy's photo. I even signed up on facebook. My hotmail inbox was flooded with friends this morning but I still can't get to her pics? Since I don't have teenagers at home and I'm not a computer wiz can someone tell me what I need to do?

Judy- I read an article in yesterday's paper about cancer and fatigue. A quote from Dr. Patricia Ganz, a professor at UCLA School of Medicine. " We are not entirely sure, but it may be due to unchecked inflammation in the body." Treatment could possibly push the immune system into overdrive, and in certain patients, the resulting inflammation could increase fatigue "as if the body were constantly fighting off a bad flu".  I thought this article was interesting. It was on Cancer in America "Living After Cancer" by Judith Newman.

Titan - I have my pap every year in January and now that I'm on tamox, it's mandatory.

JudyNaomi

Thanks Betsy - I will look into that. I think though that a lot of it is connected to the fact that I don't sleep very well or enough. I am on FB, but also cannot access Amy's photos. Let us know how the mamogram goes.

Titan - my next Onc appt is in August. I had my last pap in September and will have another one this year. My relationship with my MIL is complicated. We live on different continents, so we don't have very much contact. She too had BC a couple of years ago and whenever we speak, she wants to try and share, but I am not comfortable with her doing that with me. I don't know why though. The kids started camp today, so hopefully, they will all be suitably exhausted by the end of the day : )

Helen - I hope everything goes really well this Thursday! Congrats to you all!!!

Hope everyone else is ok today. Geri and Alaina, thinking of you. Amy, hope you are still floating on all the excitement of this past weekend.

Hugs to you all, Judy xxx

AmyIsStrong

Sorry ladies - I will get a new link and post it later.  I can't get it to access either now. Maybe it expired.  My husband's daughter put up the photos so I have to get the link from her.

Titan

Ok..I'm going to call for my pap but I don't want to do this...I know I'm acting like a child but whatever..I'm just tired of seeing doctors and want to be FREE!  I just want to be this all behind me.

I bet we could fill up a few pages with talk of MIL...I think that Judy that you are comfortable talking here but that is it...I don't like to talk to anyone "outside" of here anymore about it..I'm done...We saw a couple on Friday night that we hadn't seen for about 6 months and they were hugging me and asking me how I was and that I looked good and it actually took me a minute to remember what they were talking about! 

Hope you sleep better Judy....I seem to go a couple of nights sleeping all through then have a night when I just can't sleep well..I hate that because I know I will be tired the next day..no time to be tired..too busy right now..just not enough hours in the day.

hrf

I find that I don't sleep well anymore either although it's better than when I was on chemo. I get up a few times a night - sometimes I fall back to sleep and sometimes not. If I don't have to go to work, I actually have my best sleep after 5 am and can sleep until 8 am. But during the week, I'm up by 6 for work and then I'm tired during the day.

BetsyBuzz

Hi all...my mammo looked good. I didn't even have to have any ultrasound, first time in about 15 years. Maybe it's because my mammograms are every six months. I'm happy about "nothing suspicious".

Now...wish me luck on that damn blood draw on Thurs. Hopefully, this time it will be a piece of cake. The onc appt will be a breeze after that. Good thing I scheduled it first thing in the morning, at least I won't stress about it all day.

Hugs to all.

JudyNaomi

Hooray for Betsy! So pleased that the Mamo went ok. Just Thursday to get through now - keep us posted. I always find that if I drink tons of water before blood work, then they find the vein a bit more easily.

You know Titan - you are very right. Apart from my therapist, husband and kids if they ask, I really only share here now. It is just so much easier to share with people who understand where you are coming from. The problem with my MIL (now you have got me started...) is that she cannot sense when to back off. I promise to be more sensitive here now on the subject of MILs, as Amy is now one and Helen will be in another couple of days. Titan - you still have some time : )

I also have some nights better than others. If I have had a really bad one, when I just lie in bed wide awake for hours till the birds start to sing (hate that!), then the following couple of days, I usually sleep fairly well because I am so exhausted. I find that I get very tense lying in bed and my hot flashes have been really bad these last couple of weeks.

Geri - how are you? We have not heard from you since Sunday.

Amy - looking forward to seeing the pics!

Hugs to all for a good day, Judy xxx

Titan

Yay Betsy B on the boring mammo!    Now you won't have to worry for another six months! 

Good luck with the blood draw!

Is anyone planning any fun vacations in the near future?   I feel like I need one very, very badly....getting a little grouchy here in Ohio

inthemoment

Three infusions to go!!!!  Yeah.

Also had three doctor's appointments today - rheumatologist for the joint pain (hip x-ray showed degenerative joint disease which he feels all the chemo aggravated), then oncologist for my Herceptin infusion, then the pulmonologist for the check-up on my once thought COPD, now thought asthma...me think nothing except the life-saving poison that has been circulating in my body for 1 1/2 years.  Rheumatologist revisit in three months, pulmonologist in 6 months, oncologist next week (boo)...but then only two more weekly visits after that - finish July 13th!

I don't talk much to "outsiders" about my breast cancer either...mostly family and all of you.  Funny thing this weekend though, my step-daughter (well, ex-stepdaughter since her father and I are divorced for 10 years), asked first if she could feel my port - she's not a child mind you - we were celebrating her 40th birthday.  She had a port when she was a child because of Chron's  disease.  She thought mine looked so nice, so I said sure, you can feel it...so she did.  Her mother was standing there at the time (my ex-husband's first wife), and my step-daughter then asked if she could feel what the implant felt like...oh boy - I was so taken off guard, that I said ok and next thing she AND her mother are feeling me up...it was really kind of funny - weird but funny.  Thankfully, neither my ex-husband who was at the party (we get along much better since we're divorced) and his current wife were around, as if either of them had wanted to join in the boob feel, I think it would have pushed me over the edge.  I told my ex that with his two ex-wives, and his current wife (it was their wedding anniversary that day), we represented the Stepford Wives - we even took a picture of Jeff and the three wives and his 92 myear old mother - better that the situation is just funny, weird instead of the way divorces usually are .

Amy, let us know when your link to facebook is up and running to see weddding pictures.

Betsy - Great news on your mammo - with the prophylactic mastectomy done now, I am officially mammo free.  Hope the blood draw goes as well as the mammo.

Titan, Helen and Judy - I join the ranks of the part-time insomniacs...sometimes good, sometimes grrrr.

Helen - you must be about 48 hours away from the wedding - counting down!  I hope the weather is great and you all have a wonderful celebration

Lena - where are you girl?

Alaina - thinking of your aunt and hope the surgery will go well on Thursday - let us know.

Chelev - anything on the job front yet?  It will come, but I'm sure the uncertainty is difficult - we're all rooting for you.

I just counted and unless I missed someone (and I'm counting Lena in 'cause she pops in when she can), thereare nine of the original April 2009 group that continue to keep up on this board.  I hope everyone else who started last year is doing well, and that our group keeps on giving each other the support and friendship that have meant so much.  I know for me, I need you guys now as much, if not more, than I did last year - you are my rocks!

Geri

Titan

Hey Geri...you made my head spin with your ex-wives' story....but I think I got it!  If you can keep all that straight I would say your chemo brain is clearing up nicely.

Funny stuff about the feel up...my SIL said I can look at hers but I still haven't yet....she has offered..but I have seen a little of my co-workers and I can't believe how REAL they look...I guess that is why I feel a little strange asking to see someones! 

Funny about you counting us all from the original chemo group..I was just looking and most of us have Grade 3 Tumors...!   Maybe not a good group to be in but we are together none the less.

I wonder if most tumors are grade 3?  Unless they are caught in situ I would think most of them are.

Alaina

Thanks everyone for your kind words and warm wishes.

My aunt's surgery got pushed back to Thursday 7/1/10.  She's 68 years old and in very good spirits about this whole thing.  Lots of questions and a desire to understand everything she can medically about breast cancer.  

I'm just waiting till Friday when I can talk to my chemo nurses, oncologist, and breast surgeon about her diagnosis.  I'm BRCA- but I suspect there are plenty of genetic mutations they don't know about yet.  But it needs to go in my file that I now have another relative with breast cancer.  My great aunt on my mother's side had ovarian cancer.  Now this aunt on my father's side.

*sigh*

hrf

Betsy, congrats on the clear mammo. Judy, sorry to hear about your lack of sleep and great advice about the water before a blood draw. Titan, I agree with you about too many doctor appointments. Lena, where are you? Chelev, hope the job market is showing improvement for you. Alaina, keep us posted about your aunt. Geri, funny story about the "feel ups"

Tonight was our rehearsal followed by a special dinner. I ended up sitting at a table with my kids and my ex and his wife. I have to admit that I still find it wierd to spend any time with him but we do manage to do all the right things for the sake of the kids. But, I can't say that he is my first choice of a dinner companion. His wife is a nice woman so that helps.

Anyway, wedding is less than 48 hours away. We didn't see any protestors tonight so I'm hoping it stays that way. Weather report is favourable too.

I also find that I can't talk to my friends and family about bc stuff. They just all act like it's over. And it's not.

Titan

Helen!  Are you OK from the earthquake?  We felt it here!  My desk started shaking!

JudyNaomi

Geri - great posting! You should contact a TV network and see if they could do anything with that (LOL!).

Chelev - any news on the employment yet? Helen, you are really counting down now. I hope everything goes really smoothly tomorrow. Alaina - our thoughts and prayers are with you and wishing your aunt well. Please keep us posted.

Betsy - hope the blood work and appointment go ok tomorrow.

Amy - hope you are resting up from your fabulous weekend.

Lena - how are you? If you feel like it, please stop by and let us know.

I cannot believe where we are this year compared to last year! You are truly an amazing group of women and I could never have got this far without you all.

Hugs to all for a great day! Judy x

hrf

Big earthquake here today. Toronto....who'd have thought? I was having a pedicure (I go to a lady who works out of her condo - ground floor - in the building) and talking to my assistant at work about an issue and all of a sudden the walls start swaying back and forth. I say "I think we're having an earthquake" and the person on the phone (15 miles away) says "we are too" ....it lasted about 10 - 15 seconds. Very scary. My son (the one getting married tomorrow) works in the financial district and their bank is one of the targets during the G20 --- they all thought that maybe it was a bomb. People everywhere evacuated their buildings. Also last night in a home about a mile from me - in a very expensive, exclusive neighbourhood (not mine just close by) there was an arrest - something to do with the G20 and explosives. And this afternoon the underground system (a PATH with lots of commercial space that works through the downtown core) was closed also due to potential terrorist issue. Everyone is furious with the Prime Minister of this country for bringing this meeting to the middle of the city - disrupting lives, putting people in danger and forcing many small businesses to close. No one is getting compensated. My son (the groom) has had to go to work in disguise for the past few days. They were instructed to dress down and look like protestors so they wouldn't be targeted. Anyway, tomorrow is the wedding and I hope there are no earthquakes, no protestors, and that everything goes smoothly. Then the bride and groom will go to Hawaii for their honeymoon and stop in Las Vegas on the way home.

AmyIsStrong

Helen - WOW what a lot of problems that government meeting causes. Who would ever have thought that this would happen right in conjunction with the wedding, back when you set the date?
I know from planning our wedding how many details there are, NOT COUNTING earthquakes, bombs, protestors etc. etc.

I wish you the happiest, richest, most heartwarming enjoyable day for all concerned. (Well not for the protestors - I don't care if they have a nice day or not!).

Enjoy being done with treatment, strong and healthy, present for this wonderful event. It was so much more meaningful to me after all I've been through.

Sending love and peace across the miles to you in CA.  And NO MORE EARTHQUAKES!

Titan

Man Helen..well..you and your kids will never forget this wedding!   I read your post to my DH...I'm freaking here.......well...here is one of Geri's martinis to YOU and your family and hopefully everything will go OK with you tomorrow...Try to have fun...what an experience for you!   Much love from me to you and your son and the rest of the crew for this wedding!   Let's get them on to their honeymoon and you home to breathe deeply and relax a little! 

JudyNaomi

Wow Helen! Never a dull moment! Who would have thought?

I hope that everything goes well today, we are all raising a glass to you and your family and wishing you only good health and happiness from here onwards!!! The honeymoon plans sound fabulous!

Hugs to everyone today! Hope you are all doing ok today.

Judy xxx

JudyNaomi

Betsy - hope the appointment went well today!

Hugs, Judy x

BetsyBuzz

Hey all...my appointment was great today. My bc boob is very sore from the mammo on Monday and the exam today but all news is good. My blood work is fine...about freakin time! My onc and I discussed not going on the aromatase inhibitors once I officially become post-menopausal. My choice is to stick with tamoxifen and he seemed ok with that decision. But he said we will discuss it more during my next visit. He said when chemo induces memopause they wait a full year to classify you as "post-menopausal".

Judy..I drank four large glasses of water prior to my blood draw. Took my bp meds early yesterday and will take the balance tonight as I take a diuretic. I ran my arm under hot water until I couldn't stand it and the tech said...no good let's look at your hand. So she said warm it up, I went back to the sink. She got the smallest needle and tube. When she got the vein she said she has done IV's on babies with bigger veins then mine. I thought...go figure. But she got it on the first try and it didn't hurt. TG Thanks for the warm thoughts and support.

Geri - you cracked me up with the "feeling you up story". I'm not sure I would have been able to keep a straight face.

Oh so soon you will be done. We are all counting down the days with you.

Helen - wow...earthquake..G20...sounds like this wedding is going to rock and roll. Feel beautiful and enjoy yourself.  

Alaina- somehow I missed your post on your Aunt. Sorry to hear of her situation. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Shout out to Lena!

Titan- We aren't doing a big trip this summer for vacation as we are starting a kitchen remodel. We selected our contractor today. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. It's going to start in two weeks so we have to pack up our kitchen and family room soon. Lots of work to do.

Tomorrow I'm heading north to Seattle via Amtrak for a Sister "girls" weekend. I have three sisters and two sister in-laws, one female cousin, one gay male cousin and some nieces plus my MOM and they are all coming together to celebrate life. We are going to have a blast. Lots of drinking and eating. I so look forward to it.

Everyone have a great weekend. Helen, I hope your son's wedding goes smoothly.

Betsy

Lena

Nope, I'm not dead yet...just battling "chemo brain without the chemo" --  I pop in here and read what you're all up to almost every day but don't have the mental focus to write a post, even though I think of you all alot. Think I used up what little brain power I had finishing up my contemporary modern apartment set (Sims hacks I actually started a month BEFORE chemo but had problems with them)....I had to let a lot of downloadaholics down in Jan 2009 when I told them then that I couldn't figure out what was wrong with them and wouldn't release them since they failed my quality control tests...shortly after that came my diagnosis (which I didn't and still don't discuss openly on my Sims forums...my fellow Simmers know I'm "ill" and have "serious health issues" but only my 4 closest "sim sisters" including my hacking mentor actually know what I have)...but anyway..well last weekend between scans I retested them and discovered the situation was not nearly as dire as it seemed. Out of 40 objects I only had 5 failures (which means I could have released the 35 good ones back then hahaha), and they were functional fails, not game crashing fails, and, dunno why I didn't think of this in Jan 2009 originally but this time I said "OK, just do graphics swaps!" -- and THAT fixed all five of the failures. Then I spent several hours making up the "release package" to send to the webmistress of the site which hosts my clandestine creations. When she gets a chance to upload them on the site, they'll be "out there" for all the downloadaholics. Finally, good, somehow I got 'em done because truth be told, after my diagnosis I was wondering if I'd ever finish them and be able to share them before I die. OK, apartment sets done, replicator -- an official real live non-clandestine project -- still to go. I've looked at it but I'm getting flummoxed reading the code and getting distracted. This one I gotta do mostly for me, though, because I can't set up a 23rd century modern theme game without a food replicator! But it's also supposed to be the base for Aponee's 24th century model, so I'm partly doing it for her too (we had an exchange: she's an artist, I"m a hacker, so we're collaborating: she did all the artwork and I'm doing all the hacking, then when I finally finish it I have a perfect 23rd century Federation standard food replicator for my new hood, and she gets a 24th century model for her game, and the downloadaholics can download both from her website).I know, I'm rambling about what is to you crapola you have no idea what I'm talking about but somehow, like I said, my brain isn't working too well these days; outside of occasional short bursts I'm mostly nonfunctional, almost as bad as chemo.  Oh wait, my CURRENT (as in right this minute) problem might be the oxycodone too. Lemme see if I can try to steer this around without too much more circumlocution... Hmmmmm... OK, where did I leave off...The "Dopamine Thing."  Yes, we're on to something with that; both the psychiatrist and even my oncologist thinks it makes sense at least, and I have by now some actual lab ratting which is "encouraging." Dopamine (Google it, and Google "dopamine and estrogen deprivation if you're really interested) is an important neurotransmitter, and estrogen deprivation kills brain cells which produce it. Since I can neither take estrogen nor even really stop taking my Aromasin (which turned out to be every bit as bad as the Femara in terms of SEs; three weeks on it and I was back being the exact same mess I'd been while on Femara) unless I want to die real soon, the theory we (Pack Rat and me) have, since all my AI SE complaints (joint pain, depression, mood swings, cognitive deficits) are also on the list of symptoms of dopamine deficiency, is that I get some dopamine from a source OTHER than estrogen. I emailed the articles to the psychiatrist, and he called me back and said it made sense to HIM and I should make an appointment with him and we'll discuss it in detail. The appointment is for next Thursday (July 1st). Today I had an appointment with my oncologist and I told him about the theory, gave him the printouts of the scientific articles I had, and also told him about my Lab Ratting which is corroborating the theory:A week ago I started taking a supplement called SAMe (pronounced "Sammy"). SAMe, which is short for S-adenosylmethionine (pronounced "S-aDEN-oh-SILL-meth-EYE-oh-neen), is a substance which the body makes naturally from the amino acid methionine, which the body uses to make dopamine. I began by taking 2 400-mg horse pills of the stuff per day (recommended dosage is 1-3 pills per day). I took that for one week, and, while I'm definitely still messed up (I'm still taking the Aromasin, after all), the SAMe IS taking the edge off ever so slightly: I'm still depressed and moody but the several times a day crying jags and thoughts of suicide/wanting to die stopped. Also, my feet and hips stopped hurting, and SOME of the knee pain went away too. I noticed the difference almost immediately too, and for my last week before seeing the psychiatrist, I decided to try upping my SAMe dosage to 3 pills a day. This I started today. I don't know if it'll make a difference/how much of one if it does yet, but the study I read had shown 1600 mg per day to be effective against depression, so going from my current 800 to 1200 mg per day won't hurt. I'd try the 1600 mg per day, except the stuff is expensive ($36.00 plus tax for a box of 30 400 mg pills), and supplements aren't covered by Medicaid. Still though if dopamine really can fix my SEs, I know there's prescription dopamine to be had, which my Medicaid WILL cover, and is where the psychiatrist, who can also figure out a better dosing scheme I'm sure, comes in. I just want to hear the "juicy details" of what he has to say about the research I sent him, and tell him about how taking the SAMe did help a little bit too.Ohgarsh, what next...you're probably wondering why I need to take oxycodone, right? Well I wish I could say exactly, but I don't know what it is or how it happened. It FEELS like I badly sprained or twisted or tore something in my right leg, in the knee area, except I didn't fall down or bang into something and I have no recollection of twisting or pulling or spraining! I have no idea of exactly how or when it happened, only, as I told my oncologist today, a vague "It started hurting late Wednesday afternoon or early that evening, and when I got up Thursday morning it was excruciating to the point where I can only barely walk, well limp is more like it." The Wednesday and Thursday I refer to were LAST WEEK. So yes, I've been almost a complete invalid for the past week -- I can't really walk, I have to limp, and the stairs are excruciating and fearsome (I live in an upstairs apartment in a building with no elevators: to go out somewhere or come home, it's 3 flights of stairs; to get from my apt to the basement laundry room, it's 4 flights). Unless it's absolutely necessary I can't leave the apartment anymore, and certain things are coming up critical because I can't do them like this (more to come)...Now seeing how I take Coumadin for my clot, I'm not supposed to take NSAIDs (like Advil, my former painkiller of choice) without a doctor's permission due to bleeding risk, so at first I tried extra strength Tylenol, and then an 8 hour acetaminophen --  to no avail. On Tuesday I couldn't stand the pain anymore, plus, since my Aromasin was about to run out, I called my oncologist's office to tell him I needed a refill if he wanted me to keep taking it, plus I also asked if I could please try Advil for my hurting leg since acetaminophen wasn't helping.  Got the Aromasin called in and the pharmacy delivered it, and permission to take Advil (which I already had). Nope, the Advil didn't help either, so today during our appointment, my oncologist gave me a prescription for oxycodone and had me set up to get an MRI Saturday to hopefully find out what this IS (it's not a bone met: my most recent bone scan which I just had last weekend showed only my one known met to the iliac bone). Still though it's scary.  Because I'm so afraid of the stairs now, and I can't walk anyway, I've had to can my "exercise program" (daily walking, which I'd been building on since April, from a round or two around the block to 2-4 miles per day in the park and/or running errands on foot). I didn't think it would bother me this much -- even though some days I called my walks "death marches" and even after a good one I usually felt like crap as soon as I got back home and sat down to relax -- they triggered really nasty hot flashes, the kind with profuse sweating and itching -- but it does! I actually miss my walks. Worse, though: I need to clean my bathtub (it's getting slippery) and can't because I can't kneel in front of the tub to clean it out; I can't go grocery shopping, and I can't do the laundry, I had my CT and bone scans hobbling, had to be helped on and off the table like a decrepit old person; same for my PET scan. Anyway the oxycodone now seems to help the pain a little (better than the OTC stuff did anyway) but I still can't do anything. ......oh wow. I started this post yesterday (Thursday June 24th), now it's Friday June 25th. But, I already warned you all I'm a mess. OK but while I'm here sort of (I'm now fogheaded from the oxycodone too: it kept me asleep MOST of the night -- only got up once, but I'm "hung over" from it, and had take the morning dose to keep the agony at bay).....(oh geez what's this now, I'm nauseous and dizzy? Well fine then, losing my appetite is a good thing since i want to lose weight...but...ooooh...:::head spins::: , , , I better grab a compazine,  Good thing I didn't use all those up during chemo huh?So where do we leave off now....oh yeah, all that kids' weddings stuff.  Amy and Helen...All I can say is glad you're all happy with all of it and enjoying the conversations about it...but sorry, I don't know what to say myself; I have nothing to add because I have no frame of reference -- on top of not having kids, social occasions like that have always made me intensely uncomfortable. My idea of a romantic wedding was elopement:  the couple and a justice of the peace, no muss no fuss. So all I can say is "different strokes for different folks," and I'm glad for you all to have something you enjoy.Chelev -- turns out the last day I was able to walk was the day I walked to the pharmacy to buy the SAMe, and I happened to notice on one of the (several) hairdressers' doors, Brazilian keratin, as well as the usual haircut, coloring and other styling services offered. Even though from having read your post about your Brazilian keratin treatment costing $65 I knew I wouldn't be able to afford to get one, I inquired how much it would cost anyway. It's MORE expensive HERE! The woman -- once they found someone who spoke some barely passable English -- told me $85-100! I don't have that kind of "play money" (there is no room in my budget for anything which doesn't feed, clothe or shelter me, or keep my car legal and computer up and running), so I have to tolerate the awful "senile old lady who stuck her finger in the electric socket" look until it grows out on its own. If I live that long anyway...Oh geez, it's only 10 AM and I need a NAP now?! Be back later, I know I'm so far behind but I just can't even sit up anymore... ~Lena. 

JudyNaomi

Betsy - So pleased to hear that the mamo and onc appt went ok. Sorry that the blood draw was not completely straightforward, but at least this one is behind you. Have a fabulous weekend with all the family, it sounds like it is going to be a real blast!

Lena - good to hear from you. I always enjoy reading your postings. I hope you are feeling a bit more rested since you wrote. You are in my thoughts often.

Helen - hope it all went well yesterday. We are looking forward to hearing all about it.

Geri - how are you and how is your friend holding up?

Alaina - how is your aunt doing?

I have had a very tiring week. I am finding the summertime "lack of routine" a little challenging, but happy nevertheless to be a part of it : ) I am hoping to get some rest over the weekend and to do something fun with the family on Sunday. I just cannot believe how hot it is here in MD!

To everyone who I haven't singled out, I hope you are all ok and wish everyone a good weekend!

Hugs to one and all! Judy xxx

Lena

OK, had my nap...still tired and a little queasy, but now I "gotta" get this done, hahaha.

Titan -- what was that about you and your girl friends hiring a stripper?! LOL. On that note, kind of, I think my Pack Rat's next visit will begin on the evening of Friday July 9th. I love it when he strips.  ;-)  Oh, and I also don't talk about my cancer except to medical personnel, my friend Kym, my Pack Rat, and here at BCO. There are "outsiders" (my friends from other forums) who know I'm "seriously ill" but not in detail.

Judy --  I know what you mean, noticing the "messy house" thing more now than this time last year. Believe it or not, I'm noticing it this year. Thing is though, I still can't do that sort of heavy work at all (even before my leg decided to give out on me), there's nobody here who "could be doing more," and I can't afford to hire a cleaning service. I am, however, going to look into something I heard about from the ACS, "Cleaning for a Cause" where supposedly the ACS helps cancer patients who can't do heavy housework and have nobody to help them. If I could just get someone in here to do a big once-over on the heavy housework, and then come in once a month to maintain it (the floors and bathroom), it wouldn't be so bad. Except for now when my leg is messed up I can do the lighter, more regular stuff: I can wash dishes, take out the garbage and do the laundry, which I'm sure I'll be able to do when my leg heals. So if that's all I'd have to do, it would be OK.

Geri -- That's great about almost being finished with the Herceptin, and, how's your friend Bonnie doing? Oh, and how did all those doctor visits go? Oh wow on the "feel up" business! Other than doctors/nurses/med techs, I wouldn't let anyone touch my port (no one has asked, thank goodness). I can't stand either the sight of it or touching it myself (when I take showers and am washing that area of my body), in fact. It's yucky, I hate it, it bothers me if I wear a bra or seat belt when I drive my car or try to carry my iBook bag over my shoulder, and now it requires maintenance too, it has to be flushed periodically. I wish I could have it out, but the doctor wants me to keep it.  :-P

Alaina -- That's awful about your aunt's breast cancer, I'm so sorry. She must be glad to have YOU though, right? I guess you can sort of take her by the hand and let her know what to expect so she doesn't feel lost, alone and overwhelmed? Is she going to join BCO too?

Betsy -- good going with the "boring" mammo. I bet you're relieved as all hell. No mammos or paps for me; getting chest, abdomen and pelvis CT and PET scanned 2-3 times a year now is enough as far as I'm concerned. I figure if the scans still register my right breast tumor and the bone met, they'll register it if I got cancer anyplace else too. But more on that momentarily. OK, so yesterday was Thursday, how did the blood test go? I had blood drawn yesterday too, as usual on days when I see the oncologist. As always, it hurt. I can't stand needles. 

And now for the "Fun Stuff" -- what all happened during my oncologist visit yesterday, other than the business with my leg and the oxycodone (and my port being flushed)...

1. Blood work: my platelets are up -- still very low but better than last time, so my Coumadin regime stays the same (take 5 mg on even dates, 2.5 mg on odd dates) for now. The rest of my blood count is getting closer to normal too. My red blood cells and lymphocytes are still a little low, but I have considerably fewer of the other components out of whack like they had been.

2. Scan results:

a. Bone scan was good; my known left iliac met showed no change and I have no new bone mets.

b. CT scan; my nodes are all still clean of cancer, it also registers my iliac met as "stable" since the last scan, and in spite of the increase in my platelets from the blood work, I do still have the clot ("splenic and portal vein chronic occlusions are demonstrated with collateral vessels demonstrated," to be exact). 

c. PET scan: Uh-oh, I MIGHT have a lung met. Doc wants to keep an eye on this and scan again in September, unless I get symptoms, in which case we act sooner. Note, I haven't had any problems breathing other than what for me is usual windedness if I exert myself (and with some of the AI hot flashes which for me feel very different than the ones I had on chemo and Tamox). He says that since there was no evidence in the CT scan of a lung met to corroborate with the PET, it's just a "maybe" and 3 months to next scan won't make any difference in my prognosis or treatment if I do have one. I'm not telling Kym or my Pack Rat about it, I just don't wanna unless I have to.

Have a good weekend, all....

 ~Lena. 

Titan

Lena!  All I can say is f''c''k''i''g'''f...sorry to swear but dang!

Also..can I ask you about your Iliac met?  I had pain there back in January and went to the doctor and he told me it was muskoskelatal and to rest it..which I did...felt good for a few months..then I started adding to my exercise routine...jogging..doing 3-4 miles at a time and it hurt again...so now I'm resting it and it is feeling much better...I want to think that it is a tear in the muscle that wraps around the illiac bone but I still wonder..when I rub the area I actually can feel a cord like "thing" that I can't feel on the other side...

 On a good note..I had my first real "hair cut" in over a year...my hair was 4" long and I decided it was time to get it cut...The beautician said that my hair is very thick (I've always had thin frizzy hair)...it feels weird having it short again..it was down to my collar but now it is not...but I like it!..