Starting Chemo April 2009

hrf

Yes, Lena, you were right about Judy's timing. Glad your surgery went well and you continue to get better. Three weeks to go until your rads are done and I am officially retired

JudyNaomi

Hi all, I am doing ok today. I do need to find an Onc here, but have an OBGYN and surgeon from before I left.

Geri, so pleased to hear that your appt went ok. Lena, I am not up to date, but good to hear that you are ok. Helen, what are your retirement plans?

Back soon, Judy xxx

hrf

Everyone is asking me about my retirement plans. So far, I have nothing planned which appeals to me. I'll just see what unfolds. I am looking forward to sleeping in as a start, taking bridge lessons, exercising, and especially spending more time with my grandchildren (ages 4 & 6) and much less stress in my life. Have a good day everyone

AmyIsStrong

Helen - that sounds wonderful to me.  Be prepared that you may feel a little bit adrift at first. I know my mom (who worked in special ed - in a very stressful, fast paced environment) said it took her the first year to learn to take it easy and not feel guilty about it.

Lena - yes, you were right about Judy. And YES, we worried.  We worried an awful lot about you, too, when you went AWOL.  It's what we do, apparently.  Glad your procedure went well. Enjoy those showers!

BetsyBuzz

Hey all,

Amy..thanks for the post about your thyroid, I've had weight gain even with dieting and working out...SO depressing. I think at my next onc visit I will ask about additional blood work too. Let us know how your work up turned out.

Judy...Welcome back! Hugs to you and remember, slowly but surely you will get through those boxes and get back to a routine.

Lena...so glad to hear your tube is out...sounds awful. Keep healing..and don't push too hard right now. You only have a couple more weeks of rads. How is your skin holding up?

Helen...woo hoo just a couple more weeks. I'm with you...just relax for a while and enjoy life with those grand-kids, sounds like a wonderful way to ease into a new life. 

Geri- I hope everything is fine with you.

Titan- How's the count down to the wedding going? No news is good news! Wishing your daughter and STB son-in-law the best!

My arm & boob swelled this week, first time in a month or two. It's because I didn't wear my sleeve when working out and then we (dh & I) went out to dinner after working out. Eating out is just too salty for me...bummer but true. I can get away with one trigger event but not two, I'm learning but a little slow on the uptake. So I'm back to wearing the sleeve and MLD but all in all, I can't complain. Life is good.

Sending hugs to all!

Betsy

JudyNaomi

Helen, your plans sound perfect, just taking it easy one day at a time and finding your new routine at your own pace.

Betsy, I hope you are feeling ok and that the swelling goes down.

Back to the boxes now, have a great weekend everyone, sending you all hugs, Judy xxx

AmyIsStrong

Well, I learned (again) that we never are really 'over' tihs bc stuff. Had a rough weekend.

First, I don't know if I mentioned this but I was referred to do some work for a kids-with-cancer camp. A woman started it to fulfill a promise made to her daughter who died at 19 of leukemia. The daughter wanted a place where kids could go to camp just to be normal kids for a week. So after her death, the mom started a foundation and it runs a camp that is free to any child who has, or has had, cancer.  So I did some work for her over the past month or so.  I really extended myself to them, and, as a result, was invited to the camp's closing ceremony to receive a 'friendship award.'  

So that was Saturday morning.  They had a slide show with hundreds of slides (put to music) of the kids during camp week, showing them having fun, for the parents to watch. It was very upbeat and happy, but it was hard for me to keep the tears back as I watched. The kids were so happy and carefree but it was too close to home to me, to think of these small children (some were 4 and 5 years old) going through the stuff we went through. 

Then on Sunday - well, we are changing cable tv providers this week, so anything stored on our DVR will be lost. I had taped "The Bucket List' a long time ago and never watched it.  So it was rainy and awful yesterday and I decided to watch it. I THOUGHT it was the zany adventures of some old men who were going to die.  Well.... it was SORT OF like that, but much more poignant and much less zany. Maybe some of you have seen it.  It was FAR too medical and too cancer-centric for me and really upset me.  I think if you never had cancer, it would be a meaningful and enjoyable movie. But for me, too close to home. 

So by last night, I was worn down and very sad. Too much cancer this weekend!

I see my personal trainer this week on Mon/Wed/Fri. I am doing an overhaul to my workouts for the rest of 2011. Today is the first one. They are always very hard (especially the first time through) and I always get a little nervous beforehand.  Hopefully it will shake me out of my sadness though. 

I am going to be more protective of myself. I guess I didn't realize this stuff could still affect me this much. But now that I know, I will be more careful.

hrf

Amy, I do get it. I try to stay away from those kinds of situations but sometimes it's unavoidable. You did a wonderful thing for those kids and I'm sure you contributed to their happy memories. I hope that provides some comfort for you. I'm envious .....wish I also had a personal trainer. I have to motivate myself. LOL



Judy, how is the unpacking coming? I think it's harder to unpack than it is to pack

AmyIsStrong

Feeling a lot better.  Worked with the trainer and it was HARD but good.  Helen if you really want to find a trainer, maybe contact local gyms (or the Y or similar places) and see if they have a beginning trainer that would use you for 'practice' or sometimes gyms have a promotion wherein they will train you for free and use your results as a 'success story.'

It can be costly per session, but if you maximize your efficiency, you don't have to spend very much money to get HUGE results.  I don't use the trainer to watch me work out, but rather to TEACH me. I write down EVERYTHING he taught me about each exercise immediately after the session so I don't forget. Then I take that sheet back to the gym and do those same exercises on my own. If I forget something, they will always help you remember or answer a quick question.

So I will see this guy M/W/F at a total cost of $120, but then I will use these workouts every week through the end of 2011 for FREE. That is 19 additional weeks.   Plus I have a whole folder of the workouts he's taught me over the past few years to refer to.

I definitely couldn't afford (and wouldn't want) a trainer to just be there with me and watch me do my workouts. I can count to ten on my own, lol.   But for me, this education has been invaluable.

Also, if you are looking for another alternative, local fitness centers may offer classes on strength training for women, or a 'boot camp' where you can learn the workouts as part of a group. That would be even cheaper and you could then do them on your own as well.

it's funny -I have made such a STRONG mental connection between my exercise regimen and keeping the cancer away (which is probably overstated in actuality) that I never have to push myself to go to the gym. For me, it feels like a key element in staying healthy.

JudyNaomi

Hi all, we are doing ok here, getting there slowly. It is unsettling and exhausting, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Amy, what you have been feeling from the weekend is completely understandable, it would take a toll on any of us. You did a great thing with the kids, remember that.

Sending you all hugs and be back soon, Judy x 

AmyIsStrong

ONE MORE THING -

I think I mentioned to you all that I read on one of the threads on here that oftentimes your thyroid can be affected as a results of going through rads. I mentioned how hard I am working out and not losing weight, and a woman encouraged me to get my thyroid levels checked. So I asked to have them checked as part of regular bloodwork the GP wanted to do.  Results just came back - all my other numbers were perfect, btw (yay). But the thyroid numbers DID fall on the low side, just as the woman predicted. She said that oftentimes women gain weight when they start tamoxifen and blame it on that, but it is really b/c they just finished rads and their thyroid was affected.

So he wants to wait and retest in 6 weeks, which I will do.  If no change, then we will probably medicate. It would be interesting if it caused some weight to drop off.

I'll keep you posted on this. But it might be worth asking for the TSH and T4 thyroid panels next time you get bloodwork just to see.

Amy

Lena

Hiya everybody.

Boy am I tired! 22/33 on the rads as of today and it's really starting to accumulate. Uggh. I collapse for the rest of the day as soon as I get home! Haven't cleaned the house in a month and it's been 3 weeks since I cooked anything more than fried egg and cheese sandwiches for my Pack Rat when he's here (that's his favorite breakfast). My eating habits are really starting to remind me of how I ate when I was on chemo -- microwaved canned soup, instant oatmeal, cold cereal, yogurt, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and various kinds of fruit, and drinking Ensure when I have zero appetite, which is actually fairly often. As long as I don't have to cook it, it's OK, and most of that is good on paper plates so not TOO much dishes either.

Betsy, about how my skin is holding up: today I noticed The Chest starting to actually look red, even though so far it doesn't hurt or itch any worse than it did while pink. I apply cortisone cream, then Jeans cream, and now Aquafor too. I hate all this gooey guck on my body and can't wait till I can stop using it and just be clean and dry, especially now that I'm back to being able to take real showers again.

Amy, you must be pretty buff by now, huh? Should we call you Mrs. Universe? ;-)  You did rads right after chemo though, didn't you? And it's only NOW you're wondering if you have a thyroid issue? Next time my oncologist wants blood, I'll ask her to test my thyroid. It was normal when I had it tested last fall or winter, but I hadn't had my rads yet. OMG about the cancer camp and the Bucket List (haven't seen it). Yeah, enough is enough sometimes, isn't it!

I agree with Helen -- it IS harder to unpack than it is to pack. How's it going with that, Judy?

And yeah Helen, let's keep that countdown going -- you retiring and me finishing rads. Oh, and BTW, RETIREMENT means YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE PLANS anymore. That's what's so GOOD about it. You can do what you want, when you want, health and finances permitting of course. No more having to answer to anybody but yourself. OK, I wouldn't have chosen to get Stage IV breast cancer to be able to "retire," but since that's kind of the case, being "disability retired," at least that's one "good" thing about it.

Geri, I'm thinking of you again since we had two more carwash downpours (yesterday and today). I didn't wash my car though, because I'm just too wiped out. 

And speaking of wiped out, I'm now done for today. Gonna lie down and read. 

inthemoment

Hi everyone,

I have been keeping up with posts, but haven't been motivated to write.  My brother who had the prostate cancer surgery the beginning of July has been having some pretty significant complications, and I have been talking with him nightly (he is in NC and I am in NY) trying to keep his spirits up.  The cancer seems to have been dealt with by the surgery, so in that respect he is fortunate since he does not require any further treatment, but it's hard to be thankful when you have over a liter of urine stuck in your bladder because a scar has formed after surgery and blocked off the urethra so you can't pee - that and a continuous urinary tract infection and impotence have made him a bit cranky!  He did see the doctor today (after his big sister here gave him the "advocate for yourself" speech, and they did a dilation which at least relieved the bladder pressure - now he has a catheter in for at least a week and then more procedures, but he sounded so much better tonight.  We all relate to the depression of unremitting pain, worry, body image and quality of life.  He was headed for a significan depression.  Fingers crossed that things will start to turn around.

Helen - please let me know after you are officially retired that it is absolutely wonderful - it is what I am looking forward to in about 2 years, and I have such high expectations for it!

Amy - you are amazing.  To have that determination to work out the way you describe!  Please do a set of 10 crunches for me.

Judy - Just so glad that the move is over and the unpacking seems to be ending.  It really is draining and I hope never to have to pack or unpack again!

Lena - 13 more to go!  When I was on months and months of chemo I used to divide up the different series of drugs and use percentages instead of the number of actual treatments to mark the time.  Somehow 50% complete sounded better than 6 out of 12 completed.  So if I use my warped sense of counting down for you, your rads would be about 67% complete.

Betsy - has your swelling gone down?  Hopefully you are feeling better.

Titan - been busy with the wedding plans?  How long till the big day?

Off to sleep now - work early in the am, but I will dream of retirement tonight (even if it is Helen's retirement...I can experience it by proxy

Geri

Titan

Judy!  So good to hear from you..glad that you are ok..and busy..but you have always been busy but have found time for us too....

Amy..I soo get it when it comes to being exposed to situations that involve cancer!  My uncle has lymphoma..and I'm trying soo hard to support him but it is not easy..I have told them that I would stop up when he is having a treatment but so far I haven't made it yet..I will, I will...it seems like something always comes up...a meeting at work, my son had an accident at work (tried to cut off his finger)...he had surgery, plus appts. each week with the plastic surgeon, now he has therapy...surprisingly enough he wants his MOM with him for this stuff...I'm kinda in shock but I take what I can get when it means spending time with him.

The wedding is in 6 weeks...we are so excited...

Hey my Betsy Duck!..sorry to hear about your boob swelling up...you always were the poster child for se's..(and I'm not saying that in a mean way)...sorry to hear that you are still going through some of this crap.

Hey Lena..you are taking it easy and that is a good thing..you can clean when you feel like it.

Helen..retired now...my DH came this close to retiring this summer but he didn't do it....I wouldn't mind it though...unfortunately with a kid still in school and a kid getting married the finances won't even let us think about it.

With the stock market tanked as it is I'm not sure how anyone can retire.

JudyNaomi

Hi all,

Lena, I hope you are managing some rest and hanging in there - I am thinking about you.

Geri, I was sorry to read about your brother and really hope that things do turn around for him. He is very lucky to have you at the end of the phone nightly, to give him the love and support that he needs.

Titan - I can hardly believe that the wedding is only 6 weeks away! Enjoy every minute of it - you deserve it!

Hope you all have a good weekend and I will come by again soon. Just a few more boxes to go ..........

Hugs, Judy xxx

inthemoment

Where is everyone???

hrf

i think today's earthquake has us all rattled. Did you feel it where you were?

inthemoment

I didn't feel it in NY, although other people at work did.  Now I'm just watching the hurricane - supposed to leave for a 4 day vacation in Maine on Saturday, but the weather reports are that the hurricane is due to hit New England over the weekend - don't want to get there and be evacuated to a shelter...Not Fun!  So, looking like I'll be home

We'll make a final decision on Thursday night - already lost the deposit, so we might as well wait till the last minute to decide.  Maybe if all my friends here collectively huff and puff and blow to the east, we can get Irene to turn out to the Atlantic...hey, we dealt with cancer...this should be easy!

Lena - are you getting ready for landfall - could be a romantic weekend with Pack Rat and candlelight if the electricity goes out!

hrf

Lena only 6 more zaps   How are you doing?

Judy tell us more about your new home 

JudyNaomi

Hi all, we are doing ok here, almost sorted and the apartment is looking more like home every day. I have been following the earthquake and weather news over there and thinking about you all.

Geri, it would be such a shame to have to cancel your trip. I have heard that Maine is beautiful, we never managed to get there during our time in the US. Just stay safe, whatever you decide to do.

I will come by again soon, hope everyone is doing well this week.

Hugs to you all, Judy x

AmyIsStrong

The earthquake was CRAZY. I was at my desk in my home office (2nd floor bedroom) and the house started shaking. I thought it was the ceiling fan coming loose and getting ready to fall down (crazy what you think of).  So I got up to turn the fan off, but when I stood up, I realized the floord was shaking. It took a minute to sink in and then I panicked. I thought the house was going to collapse. Went running down the stairs, husband & I went outside.  By that time it pretty much stopped. I did not like it ONE BIT. My legs shook for a while. 
Later I read the FEMA stuff about what you are supposed to do and not do during an earthquake. We pretty much managed to do everything on the DON'T list within 30 seconds. Oh well. I will know for next time, but I hope there is NO NEXT TIME. 
Judy don't feel bad you missed it. It was a creepy upsetting feeling to feel the whole world shaking.

I bought a dress for my husband's daughte's wedding (10/1). It fit great and looks great. I could tell my workouts had helped and it made me really happy. So when the earthquake came, I thought "The world better not end before Kelly's wedding - i want to wear that dress!" Crazy what you think about.

Lena - could you feel it in NH? I'm sure you would have in NJ.

Hurricane is predicted to be where I am by Sunday morning. Not to Maine until Monday. Maybe you can still go, Geri.  Maybe I'm not taking it seriously enough - I alwas figure by the time it comes all the way up the coast it will just be rain and some wind, nothing to evacuate over. But maybe I'm being too casual.  Earthquake and hurricane in one week - what next?

hrf

I actually thought I was having a dizzy spell when the room started swaying. I also felt the floor beneath ny feel rattling. I was in a town about 40 minutes north of Toronto

AmyIsStrong

Wow Helen! That is far away to have felt the room swaying!!!   My husband thought he was having a heart attack, a coworker of mine thought she was having a seizure.  The concept of an earthquake was so remote that none of us even considered it until we ruled everything else out!

hrf

Amy, I agree with you that it is far away but many buildings here were evacuated. I've heard from many others that they also felt they were having a dizzy feeling. I think the earth quake last June was stronger though.

Lena

Hi all. I ended up with second degree burns from the rads....was only just a bit red and slightly itchy-burny but controllable with the cortisone, Jeans and Aquafor creams as of Friday (25/33) but Saturday the pain and itching got worse and worse and worse all day to the point where I was putting EMLA (plus all my other creams) cream on them every 3-4 hours Saturday afternoon through Sunday and all these huge blisters appeared on both sides (from a little below armpit level to bottom of ribcage area). So Monday I went to the cancer center 45 mins earlier than treatment time and said I needed to see the rads nurse before going in for my scheduled treatment. Well when the nurse saw it -- her eyes got wide, her jaw dropped and she said she was going to send a doctor in right away. The doctor came in, saw it and said I definitely needed a break from treatment so she said 2 days off (Monday and Tuesday), and my own RO, who she said she was going to call, would see me on Wednesday (today), then we'd decide what to do. Then the nurse came back, applied cortisone cream and bandages, which I kept on until this morning (when the nurse took them off me prior to my RO coming in). Well, whatever that doctor said to my RO on Monday gave my RO the idea she should call my MO, so when I saw my RO today -- and she saw the burns and blisters -- she told me she'd talked to my MO and this (her seeing for herself) "confirmed" it -- I'm too burned up for any more rads.  So that's it, I stop after having had "only" 25 of the originally scheduled 33 treatments, and RO also mentions MO says she wants me to heal up from the rads so she can put me on the Faslodex next month. RO gave me some "stuff" she says will help heal it -- several kinds of these soothing dressings which don't stick so I'm to apply them to the burned areas twice a day, lying down for half an hour to keep them on, and for the rest of the time, this silver sulfadiazone cream to put on, and, she'll see me next Thursday to see how I'm doing.

Geri...OMG. How's your brother doing?  That really sucks he had complications from the surgery. About the upcoming hurricane: we're supposed to get rain over the weekend, but from what I saw, the eastern part of NH (closer to Maine) is going to be affected a lot worse than us here -- me and my Pack Rat are in southwest NH (closer to Vermont). Dunno that a heavy rainstorm would facilitate a romantic get-together, but, if my fatigue lifts enough and the radiation burns don't hurt so much maybe I'll wash my car in the downpour. LOL

Amy -- I had no idea there even WAS an earthquake until late Tues night when I finally got around to reading the news! Sheesh, I should email my Sims hacking mentor and see how she is, since she lives in MD now. But I bet she'll probably laugh at me -- she moved to MD the end of January -- from CALIFORNIA! So this wouldn't be HER first earthquake.

hrf

Lena, so sorry you burned so badly. My first time was also bad. However, each time I had 25 rads and not 33. I'm sure you have benefitted from the rads and having a few more would make no difference. Now just rest and heal. Terrible storm here tonight and we are under a tornado watch as well. Hope everyone is safe and dry

inthemoment

Lena - so so sorry that your skin got such a bad burn...I hope the dressings are making you more comfortable.  Helen is right, the last of the rads that you couldn't get are outweighed by the 25 that you did get.  Just heal your skin and feel better - you really deserve a break!  As Judy would say (((HUGS)))

We have cancelled our trip to Maine - and yes, maybe I will just wash the car in the hurricane - now THAT would be an experience - bet it would go viral on you tube lol

Helen - amazing that you felt the Quake in Canada...we are really seeing the power of Mother Earth this year!  (The only thing that is missing are the locusts, but shhhh..)

Titan - the wedding is almost here!!!! Yeah, but you must be really busy

Speaking of busy - Judy, hope the boxes are gone by now and you and your family are settling into a routine.

Betsy and Amy - hope things are good for you.

I hope I didn't miss anyone - I'm on a new page and drawing a blank on names - usually I just scroll up to remind myself, but if I do that, I'll lose this whole post and I'm just too tired to retype it!

Goodnight all!

Geri

BetsyBuzz

Hi all,

Everything is fine here on the West Coast. No hurricanes, earthquakes and we are finally getting a summer. Last week was the first 90 degree day we've had all summer (of course right on queue my arm started swelling but I'm managing it better these days). No complaints here. Sounds like you all need to batten down the hatches.

I remember the last big quake we had. I was living in a different house, it was early in the morning, back then I had a waterbed. I was just waking up and the water started rocking back and forth. It was wonderful, I felt like I was surfing in the ocean. It sort of felt like a ride, I couldn't help but enjoy it until the large tree next to the foundation cracked and I thought HS!. That's when I started getting scared.

My preparation kit for any emergency: Plenty of water, food, wine and toilet paper.  

Wishing you all a safe weekend and I hope the hurricane does not affect you too much.

Betsy   

AmyIsStrong

Hurricane time! We are pretty much prepared. I will check in with you tomorrow. By the time it leaves us it will be on the way to some of the rest of you. Lena I hear it is supposed to be a bit rough up there. Stay safe.

hrf

Fortunately, it's not going to be heading this way. Take care everyone.