**NEW** Starting Chemo March 2009

nasharayne

Hello ladies,

Just did TCH #4 last Tuesday.  I'm still kind of tired from it. Actually, I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I'm sooooooooo over this BC crap.  I can really see how people give up sometime. Of course that is not in my plans but now I can understand how it happens. The ups and especially downs suck.  Ok, gripe over.  Only two more to go. See this chemo makes you so wishy washy.

I've been reading regularly and am so sorry for what many of you have been going through.  I hope everyone had a good long weekend.

BWBLY - the 29th is my Birthday.  Happy Anniversary early!!!!

Janet0527

Tomorrow is my birthday, and while my day will be interrupted by treatment (Taxol #2), that does mean a day off work, which is nice, and my mom is going to hang out with me and then take me to lunch.  After a tremendously beautiful sunny weekend in DC, it's been raining all day and is supposed to keep that up for most of the week.  I usually hate the grey weather, but it's peaceful to be inside looking out at it today.

So many sad things going on - I wish everyone the strength to remember that while you cannot change what happens to you, you have complete control over how you react and how you grow as a human being.  Hang in there ladies.  

pickle

I think everyone is getting tired of the "treatment train" but let's take a moment to reflect, appreciate and be grateful for how far we have come.

It's interesting to look back at earlier posts.....we were all searching for answers...waiting for results....seeking advice on treatment options, surgery options, reconstruction options etc. There was soooo much to learn and information  was overwhelming at times.

But we all made the decision to step up and take charge. As a group of women we chose to get educated, make life changing decisions, support each other through unchartered territory, and keep going forward to the next step.

We are a bunch of "Warriors" who have all been braver than maybe we ever thought we could be.

So let's take a bow, give each other a pat on the back and encourage each other to get through the rest of it. Hang in there everyone.......we can do it! 

NO MATTER WHAT SITUATIONS LIFE THROWS AT YOU....NO MATTER HOW LONG AND TREACHEROUS YOUR JOURNEY MAY SEEM....

REMEMBER, THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!

bwbly

applauding everyone for making it this far  (and patting self on back)

Dawnmrn1

Pickle!  You said it all!  A Standing ovation to all of the warrior princesses!!!!!!!! No More SE!!!

Dawn

Mom_of_boys

I, too, check in every day and read every single post.  I feel as though I know each of you personally and truly feel the pain and happiness reflected in your posts.

Like chick 717, I continue to be very busy at work.  And like chick717, I have completed 5 of 35 radiation treatments (we are on the exact same schedule).  No real hair growth either, but I'm a definite consumer of the Nioxin products now! 

crusader1

Hi All,

Thanks for inquiring about being missing in action. I had a busy holiday weekend.

Oh Michelle , my heart goes out to you.Stay strong . I can relate to telling no one .I am glad you have us on the board to lean on. 

I have a 34 year old son who has also had emotional problems for years. He has a Masters degree but really has not held a real job for a number of years. He moved to MN last year to start over. He entered a day treatment program and is now better than before. He will be on medicine probably forever.The real problem is that at times he needs financial support which I am able to give. But my husband who is not his father always fights with me over this issue. This has always made stress in our marriage.

I believe Pickle asked how it feels to be done with chemo. It feels good. I am really lucky as I have absolutely no residual side effects.But I am really bummed out with the hair stuff. I wrote to Chick today and told her that I am at least at this point now cancer free. Not having hair tells the world you have cancer. It frustrates me. We are marked ..Not fair. Maybe in the future chemo will not leave you bald. Only fuzz on my head too..

Buddy glad to hear that you will be starting your chemo again.

I am now scheduled to have my Right Breast reconstruction on July 1st. With my mastectomy I had Breast reconstruction but the skin died and I had to have it all removed plus the expander. Long unpleasant story. I am not happy with my chest which is all skin and bones . The prothesis bothers me at times too.

Well I do have some good news for this board. One week from today my husband and I are flying to the Amalfi Coast of Italy for a destination wedding of good British friends of ours child. We will be gone a week. I have not really been away since before my mastectomy.My husbands son works for an airline so traveling like this is not really expensive.

Pickle , you borrowed my moniker about the light at the end of the tunnel but I loved yours..

Stay strong,

Hugs to all,

Francine

Go Yankees.

buddy1

Gymmom.  You must be very proud.  thats is wonderful news.

Pickle  I loved the picture....

Crusader  Yeah for you.  Italy will be beautiful.  Please take some pictures for us.  i am so happy you are having your reconstruction.  I hope it makes you feel beter.

bwbly  Hang in there.

sakura73

Pickle thank you for asking after me. As others have said I do log in and read every day, and feel very privileged to receive the confidences that you all post here.I think of you all often, but do especially want to mention Michelle - may your daughter feel all the love around her, and begin to feel better. 

I continue to have a very easy time of it - thank you to those who reassured me about the drinking water thing. You are right, and I will keep drinking it! No side effects at all, have been working, went to Sydney for the weekend to see my parents, played with my little cousin-nephews who are adorable (21 months and 14 months), and continue to have my life irradiated by DBF who delights me more every day. I am blessed. 

I  do find myself getting weepy sometimes, but after a minute or so it passes. It is quite hard work, crying, and so it is easier to stop than keep going!!

I have my fourth and final AC next week and then move on to 12 weeks of Taxol. AC has been so easy that I am concerned I will have a bad time on Taxol. But we'll cross that bridge later.

Much love to you all.

ccbaby

Well said Pickle!!

malleme

HI to all,

I haven posted in a while but I try to read alot of the post often.

MichelleSJ- I am sorry to hear about your daughter, I have an 8th grade son and an secretly worried about him.  Their is a place in Jersey. The Wellness Community that among a lot of mind body spirit classes offers family counseling for family with a member having cancer.  They have teen and husband sessions.  on line the site is www.thewellnesscommunity.org for those who cannot come to the locations  down the shore and other is Bedminister. 

I really wish you daughter all the best.  And remember 8th grade if she missed somethings it's ok. School stuff maybe adding to her stress.

Sending you hugs

MichelleinSJ

Cyndi, can we see the letter your daughter wrote?  Would she mind?

I'm signed up to do the relay for life here

Michelle

MichelleinSJ

Janet, it's now your birthday ... Happy Birthday!

Pickle, awesome post   That's what keeps me going.  Look how far we've come!

Rachel, I'm so glad you're not suffering from SE's this round!

Everyone:  Thank you for your kind thoughts and support.  This week is much less dramatic than last, so far.  Fingers crossed!  Francine, it sounds tough with your son.  Hard to know what to do.  My dad and my stepmom have a similar situation with my stepbrother.

Michelle

Janet0527

MichelleinSJ - Thanks for the birthday wishes.   I'm happy to hear that there has been less drama in your life this week. 

Francine - I don't think that "not having hair tells the world you have cancer."  Sure, it might cause some people to suspect you're doing chemo, but that doesn't always mean you *have* cancer - it often means you *had* cancer and are doing chemo to make sure it doesn't come back.  I can explain that to people I know, and people I don't know, well, who cares that they think anyhow?  I don't feel marked, and I swear that with all the time I spend out in public with a bandana on my head, I rarely get even a sideways glance.

Rachel - I'm happy you're tolerating the AC so well.  I was like you, thinking uh-oh, maybe the Taxol will be what really gets me - I'm still quite wary of the nail and neuropathy symptoms I've heard about, as I get ready for tx 2 tomorrow.  So far though, after tx 1 for Taxol, I felt so much closer to normal in terms of energy - it's a welcome change.  I'll keep you posted - I'm a couple weeks ahead of you.  Keep drinking all that water.

arnie

Beth... thanks for thinking of me... I still read the posts...mostly just pray for people and keep up with all the news. 

 ((((((((HUGS)))))) to all you March Warriors!

bethr

Hi All...  Pickle... To add to the broken record, I read all the posts but rarely add a comment of my own.  I can say (again) that there are times that if it wasn't for this chain, I don't know how I'd get through this.  Chemo is definitely getting on my nerves to say the least (smile).  But I'm hanging in there.  I'm going in for my 4th of 6 treatments this Friday.  I live for July 10th (my last treatment).   

And I can't agree with your last post more (and I love the pic!!).  I feel we're all evolving into Superwomen!!! learning more and more about this lousy curse and ourselves at the same time.. 

Below is a long joke I got yesterday that I thought was funny.  It's a long read, but worth it.  Here's hoping it brings a smile to whoever wants to read it here...

Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be
dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.


A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was.  She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began
poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around.  She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived. Breath here......

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.

My best to all of you wonderful women!!!

Beth

jdeking

Happy Birthday Janet!!!! Hope you can do something enjoyable despite getting tx today!

 Hi to all checking back in, and glad to see you are doing well! Hang in there bwbly! We are getting close to the finish line now.

 My little niece is adorable! I went to see her yesterday and she is a tiny bundle of joy at 5lb 15oz. They named her Avery Lee. It brings such hope to see new life brought into the world!

PattiB

Janet - Happy Birthday!! - mine is today too and I am starting the rads today.  I totally agree with your last post.

pickle

Shouting out Birthday greetings and Anniversay Greetings to all who are celebrating their special occassions today!

Best wishes and warm hugs to all the gals getting treatments.

Beth R: Loved the story. Thanks for the laugh

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

crusader1

Happy Birthday to Janet and Patti and to Dayla for her anniversary.It's been a rough year for both of you.

Beth, what a story. I will not take my plants in when it gets cold anymore...

Janet, I guess I am still insecure with how I look. My husband is not fond of me going out without a wig also. I do walk around my neighborhood and go outside in my yard.

Today is my appt with my Breast Surgeon. I have not seen her since my post op for my mastectomy last January. I guess we can all say that's where so much of this stuff began.   She was a very sweet and compassionate doctor .  I believe cut too much skin from my breast so I developed complications. I will speak with her how to monitor my other breast. My oncologist also will.

Michelle- Stay strong. This too shall come to pass.

JDeKing- Yes babies are a joy ..

Arnie- Just loved the kittens. Are they yours?

Hugs,

Francine

BTW my font has become smaller. Why?

Anonymous

Francine:Wow, off to Italy soon.  What a great way to celebrate finishing chemo.  Bring back lots of pics for us!

Happy Birthday to Patti and Janet !!  How ironic that you both got TXs for presents.

Aunt Janine:  What a breath of fresh air it would be to hold a baby.  I am green with envy.  Was she early, so small at 5lbs 15oz?  My first was 5lbs 12oz and was 5 weeks premature.

Cyndi:  Nice to hear from you again.  Congrats on your daughter doing so well in her competition.  But, more impressive, raising $2000 for cancer research.  I second Michelle in asking if you will share her speech with us.  You should be so proud of the sense of community that you and your husband have instilled in your children.

jdeking

Happy birthday Patti! Sorry I missed that! Hope you have a GREAT day!

Deb- she was only 5 days early! A month ago the ultrasound tech told my sister in law that she looked on target to be over 8 lbs!! Not sure what happened there... but my SIL is a pretty petite woman. Now we get to go buy small sized stuff and preemie diapers!

 Good luck to all getting tx this week.

Francine - your font looks normal. ?? Wierd how things happen on this board!

MichelleinSJ

Happy Birthday, Patti! 

Michelle

buddy1

Bethr..        I loved the snake story.  that was really funny.

jdeking.  I Love teh name.  She really was a a tiny little thing.

Luv2sing

Hi Everyone ... I'm jumping on the broken record ... been reading the posts and trying keep up but just not posting.  I'm typing a little slower these days because it hurts a little more. 

Happy Birthday and Anniversary to all those who celebrated and will be celebrating!  My thoughts and prayers are with those who are having a difficult time, continue to encourage yourself and others. 

Pickle - I love what you posted about being grateful and the picture is still making me laugh!

bethr - Your story gave me a mixture of laughter and fear ... I just told my hubby today ... "No jury would convict me ..." (YIKES!)

5timewinner - I'll be starting the Taxol on June 8th.  (8 weeks total) She's doing my first tx on a Monday and the rest will be done Fridays cause in her own words "If anything happens to you with the first tx after you leave the office, it will be easier to find me."  We sat and talked a little about the tx cause I let her know I was nervous, anxious and concerned.  She reassured me she heavily medicates and she will be with me the entire time.  We're going to go over everything again next week.  Again, in her words "so stop sitting at home getting your panties in a bunch."  You jut gotta luv her (LOL)!

Congratulations to the new aunties and grannies!!

Gymmom - I know you are bursting with pride!

Crusader - Italy!!!  I've persuaded my husband to start planning for a cruise, but Italy ... I can only dream about.  Have fun!

I want to respond to all the posts but I'll be typing all night (smile).  Someone mentioned feeling weepy and I can relate to that ... I'm trying to keep my spirits up and remind myself things could be worse.  I've started to work on some fundraising projects for October and excited about those.  I was selected to be a part of review panel for a brochure educating folks on Triple Negative Breast Cancer and I'm truly exicted about that, it's supposed to completed for distribution by the end of the year.  I had to push my next class back, because the SEs are making it difficult to focus on my school work, but I'll still have my MBA before the end of Summer 2010.  My hair started growing back before I finished my last A/C tx and it's so straight right now that I'm praying for a curl (LOL)!  I still have eyebrows and lashes and hope they hold out thru the Taxol.

I'm going to try and post more ... I've kinda gotten into the Facebook thing cause not only do I see some of you, I've also reconnected with a lot of my old classmates and people I've known in several states.  So if you haven't joined the March Warriors on Facebook yet, you should think about it ... it's kinda nice ... minus the stupid little games they have.

Going to close for now, it took me like forever finish this post!  Everyone be happy, be safe and take care!

Janet0527

Francine - I don't mean to sound flippant with my advice or outlook.  I do understand that it's more difficult for some people than others, and our already well-formed personalities follow us into treatment.  Me, I've always been somewhat irreverant when it comes to things like arbitraty authority, unjustified rules, imposed boundaries, and so on.  I really do believe that this is *my* life, and I get to make all of the choices, as long as nothing I choose hurts someone else.  I am very empathetic, I don't flip people off in traffic, I strike up conversation with the checker at the grocery store, I tip 20%, I'm honest and ethical, and I'm a generally happy go lucky friendly person.  Cancer is a pain in the ass, a wake up call (for me, about the fourth big one, hence my already awakened state and sense of priority), perhaps a catalyst.  It is *not* a reason to hide, be embarrassed, or limit my activities or interaction with people - quite the opposite, actually.  But, that's what works for *me*.  Ironically, right now in the middle of all this mess, I'm possibly the happiest I've been in recent years.  It's a little strange to be happy in the midst of turmoil and negative events, but as I've said - events in life don't shape my state of mind - I do.  We all do.  If your husband doesn't like you going out without a wig, tell him it's not up to him.  Oh, wait.  I'm separated.  Don't take any husband advice from me.  Lol. 

Taxol #2 went off without a hitch.  Not-quite-ex-husband came by to hang out with me and brought me a card and a small gift, which was nice.  My mom took over from him and then took me out to lunch.  A hundred friends on facebook sent me love, and tonight I'm going out dancing.  Life is good, for now, but now is what we have for sure.

sakura73

Janet, I love to think of you heading out to dance up a storm!

maidmarion

Hi Everyone...jumping in on the bandwagon too..I have been reading but not posting. My daughter was here this last week visiting from the UK with her Boyfriend, I took her back to the Airport yesterday, it's always an emotional time for me but even more so now.  It gave me a real boost though to have her here as this third round of Tx was the worst! But last one on Tuesday...Yay!!

My hair is beginning to grow back..well its more like baby fluff and I haven't lost my eyebrows or eyelashes yet!

Happy Birthday Janet & Patti   

Michelleinsj my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your Daughter at this time.

Pickle....Beth you are an inspiration...thank you for including me in the Roll call.. I believe you are having your last TX next week day before me. I hope all goes well for you as indeed I hope your house move goes smoothly for you, I envy you moving back closer to your Kids, something I wish I was in a position to do, but alas it will be some time before I move back the the UK..long story.

 NYDeb...Sorry i mean Nadine... So sorry to hear about your Dog...I work at an Animal Hospital and I know only too well how expensive treatments and surgery can be, but we do these things for our pets they are part of the family, our dog has had surgery on both her back legs ( cruciate ligament problems) and has pins in both legs, we call her Bionic now, she is 8yrs old now and walks without even a limp! I do hope things go well for your dog...sending positive thoughts her way.

Sakura..Rachel Glad to hear you are doing so well on the Ac after your rocky start to TX...I finish my TX next week and when my stomach and taste buds get back to normal I look forward to enjoying Roast beef and Yorkshire puds with lashings of gravy!!

I wanted to add to the Marriage post, but will maybe post later about that its a long story, been a long day at work and my eyes are squinting at the screen now.. so closing for now..

 Sending healing thoughts to all...

Julie

Anonymous

Julie:  Thanks for the thoughts about my dog, but that was Nadine's dog ( 5timewinner).  My dog is big, slobbery and obnoxious, but otherwise healthy.  Don't feel bad, I had to scroll back to remember who it was also.  We'll blame the chemo.

maidmarion

NYdeb.......Crikey you are right .....Defo the Chemo...I just read back and it was because I saw your name at the top of her post...So sorry Nadine message was for you have amended post....I guess that's what happens when fatigue sets in and you are trying to catch up! Doh!