**NEW** Starting Chemo March 2009

Mom_of_boys

Okay ladies... your talk about exercising and weight lifting is rubbing off on me!  I have GOT to step up my routine.  For those that are ER+/PR+, the less fat we have the less hormones are produced thru our fatty tissue... did I say that right?

~Jan~

kim40

Hi Ladies

For excercising, I walk everyday (weather permitting).  I go 5K or sometimes more. 

I'm proud of myself!  This past week, I finally, and I mean finally, went outside topless!  It was so freeing not having to wear a wig or hat!  I don't know what the heck took me so long!!

ChrisC433

When I've gone on longer hikes, my hands have always swollen.  Now, I just take extra breaks or walk with my hand resting on my head for a bit.  This usually brings it back down real quick.

crusader1

Hi,

Today I went to the funeral of my 98 year old friend. I know she is in a better place.

Gym Mom..I had Latflap surgery in July.I also had my other breast tweeked. Why do you call it an exchange? What is on your chest know. Do you have a TE? You can PM me if you want specifics of the surgery?

Sakura- glad you are almost finished with your rads.

Soon we will have to talk to each other about other things than cancer . Won't that be great?

Hugs,

Francine

ChrisC433

Sakura:  I think CONGRATS are due...wasn't your last rad today??  It is such a great feeling having that stage complete!  Time to celebrate...

gymmom8

Let's keep talking up the benefits of exercise!!  I am getting more and more motivated!!

MOB - Thanks for the info about ER+/PR+ and fatty tissue.  I didn't even think about that.  Time to get moving...

Kim40 - Way to go on going topless.  It's very liberating.  I actually had to have my hair trimmed over my ears yesterday.  Now it really looks like a really short hair cut and I'm getting lots of compliments.

Chris - Part of my fear has been what to do if/when my arm does swell up.  I'm glad to hear you are doing longer hikes.  Now I know to just rest more and bring my hand/arm up while resting.  I'll give it a try tomorrow.  I promise!

Francine - I am so sorry to hear about your friend.  She was very fortunate to have a friend like you.  It was great of you to visit her so often.  I am sure it meant the world to her.  I have sent you a PM regarding my sugery. Thanks.

Sakura - Are you all done?  If so...WOOHOO!!  You need drink!  I don't know how to post one for you so someone please get her a special one for celebrating!!

Time to go root for the Phillies...

Cyndi

ChrisC433

Cyndi:  My PT has been telling me things that are O.K. to do.  She says that if I feel like my arm is heavy or looks like it is swelling, to prop it up and do make some fists to get fluid moving down.  I had the nodes under my collar bone zapped too, so I kind of message the fluid down my arm, under my arm pit, down my side and toward my groin.  Seems like these are the next closet nodes.  She said it I keep doing that, the little "streams"  of lymph system would turn to "rivers"!! 

Phillies aren't doing so good tonight....NY may be celebrating a day early!!!

sakura73

Thank you for advance congratulations - yes, I have just come back from my last (ever) radiation treatment. I almost cried, but kept it together. I made chocolate truffles for the staff who were all so lovely.

 Now am off to swanky cocktail party at a very posh gentleman's club - it is Spring Racing Carnival week in Melbourne. Have a cute floral fascinator to wear on top  of the wig!

Love  to all.

MichelleinSJ

Oh good lord, it's been two months since I've been here.  I've been thinking of all of you and hoping you're well.  Oh well, at least it's just 10 pages to read.  I should be able to catch up! 

In late September I had a mild scare when the BS wanted to biopsy the little lump on my foob, but it turned out to just be scar tissue.  He also took a mole from my other foob that had originally been on my belly, and that one had some abnormal qualities, so off to the dermatologist I go.  The worst part of that experience was discovering I was actually IIIa, not IIb like I've always thought.  It took a week to wrap my head around that. 

I never did get a teaching job, which has turned out to be a godsend.  I'm subbing everyday, and making enough money to help make ends meet.  I'm not constantly worried about money, and there's absolutely no work stress.  I'm not even looking for a job.  I'm a terrific sub (not bragging, I am), and many teachers request me.  Two principals have noticed me so far.  I'm hoping something will fall into my lap.  The subbing is also good for my damaged self-confidence.  Last year's long-term assignment was horrifying!  I was completely unprepared for the group of students, and then I was diagnosed with cancer a week after I started.  I was a terrible teacher and came home crying so many days.  So this year is a relief.

The entire state of NJ has today and tomorrow off from school, so I'm trying to catch up on everything.  10 pages, not so bad!  Are you guys getting the H1N1?

Michelle

pickle

Rachel: A big congratulations to you. I hope you saved a few truffles for yourself.

Michelin: So wonderful to hear from you. It soounds like you've had a couple of busy months. Glad to hear that you are enjoying your subbing and kudos to you for being a wonderful teacher,

That must have been quite a scare. What happened with the mole? How did you get restaged? I am not too sure what the difference is between IIb and IIIa.  Does it change anything treatment wise? Such an unwelcome surprise I'm sure.

I got the seasonal flu shot and the H1N1 two weeks ago, Onc recommended both.

Exercise: I started with 5lbs weights with my trainer this week. We are going slow. I must say that once I get to the gym I love it....it's getting in the mood to go that's a challenge but I feel so good when I'm done. I told my DH it's kind of like sex....takes me a bit to get motivated for it but once I'm into it...it's good...lol

Have a great day

Hugs

Beth

crusader1

Hi All,

The Yankees Won...

Beth..Glad to hear that you are getting motivated with your exercise. My husband and I went to the gym today. Before all this stuff happened it was part of our routine. I too have been to many of the CP or Fairmont hotels throughout Canada. They are all so beautiful.

Michelle- great that you are happy with your job. BTW how does one get restaged. I agree that the difference between the two is not much.

Sakura- well congratulations once again ..

Hugs to All.

Francine

pickle

Francine: You are adorable. Everytime I see your picture it makes me smile. Thanks for all the positive, inspiring and informative posts .

I like the idea of keeping the exercise posts going...wow we have all come such a very long way. How about nutririon. Any good tips. What is everyone doing? Any good recipes for breakfast/ lunches/dinners? Any good juice or smoothie ideas? Ok and maybe dessert....lol! Rachel how about the truffle recipe...after all we are brave warriors that need a treat once in a while and hey dark choclate is good for you right!

Lentil and Tuna salad. serves 4.

2 cups ripe tomatoes (seed, chop and fine dice)

1 small red onion (fine chopped)

14 oz can lentils drained. I rinse them too because of the sodium

1 can of tuna

2 tbsp chopped cilantro

Dressing:

3 tbsp olive oil

1 Tbsp lemon juice

1 tsp whole grain mustard (I use dijon bold for a bit of kick)

1/2 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp coriander.

This is great for lunch. You can put it in a wrap if you want.

Cheers

Beth P

ccbaby

Hi Girls....I keep with this thread everyday. Sakura...Congrats on your last rad! It is a great feeling!

I had yet ANOTHER set back today....  I have an expander and it seem to do well during rads until a week ago I noticed a small 'open area' along my mastectomy scar in the front part of my breast that was dark in color. I asked the radiologist what it was and he didn't know for sure. Then a few days ago, it started draining a yellowish fluid out of it non stop. I went back to the radiologist yesterday and he said he had never seen anything like it and he thought maybe it was a hematoma. He set me up with an appointment with my PS to find out what it is. I went today and he said that my expander is pushing its way out from under the muscle and the dark color is the actual expander itself! So, now it is contaminated, and that means I won't be able to get my implants in 6 months because of the contamination. He said I could do the flap surgery or just have the expander taken out and have nothing there. I am upset because I didn't want to have to have the flap surgery because it is a long surgery with a lot of recovery time. And I am upset that I have had to wear this very uncomfortable expander for 9 months for nothing. I have to make up my mind pretty quickly because of the risk of getting infection.  What type of reconstruction has everyone else had/having? I am going back and forth with this and I really don't know what to do.

crusader1

Oh ladies..I just wrote a long note and it suddenly dissapeared.Well here goes again.

Christy- I feel so bad for you. These setbacks are real annoying. I am not sure which type of flap surgery you are talking about. I just had lat flap surgery in July. I got an infection after it and the TE had to be removed. My first TE which was put in during the mastectomy was removed in January due to necrosis of the skin. My next try at this will be next Wednesday. Another TE. I have met many ladies on this board who have had many reconstruction problems. I guess what makes this stuff more doable is the fact that our cancers are gone and we are doing this just for cosmetic reasons. Your decision is a hard one to make but just remember that we have been through the hardest stuff already.

Beth..Thanks for the nice comments.You are truly the inspiration on this board. I am sure we all look forward to hearing from you. How about a new avatar with more hair. Mine is coming in real great.

Hugs to all.

Francine

pickle

CCBaby: I am so sorry to hear of all the trouble you are having. I haven't had recon yet so I can't really comment on it but I'm sure the more knowledgeable gals will chime in. Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and like Francine said...you have been through all the hard stuff already....I know it sucks right now but think about what you want for yourself in the long term. Best of luck and trust yourself to make the best decision for "you"

Francine: I couldn't resist posting my hair pic.....LOL it's from Halloween last week.The only wig I actually ever enjoyed wearing! I don't have a current pic with my real hair but I will take one shortly and post it.

You gals ar the best!

Hugs

Beth

sakura73

The truffle recipe is really easy! You can make them alcoholic but I prefer them plain.

Chocolate truffles

 one packet (250 g) plain sweet biscuits- milk arrowroot or similar

1 can sweetened condensed milk

3 heaped tablespoons sifted cocoa (the better quality the better!)

3/4 cup dessicated coconut

extra coconut for coating

Mix dry ingredients in bowl, then stir through the condensed milk, mixing well until all dry ingredients have been absorbed into the milk and you have a large sticky mass of chcolate truffle dough. Roll small balls of the mixture in coconut. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours, consume chilled in large quantities!

Pickle I love that wig!

Ccbaby so sorry to hear about the leaking expander.  What horrible luck!

MichelleinSJ

Okay, I have four more pages to go and I've cried at at least six of your posts. I must have bad PMS again.  This is my third menstrual cycle, and they've all been extremely intense.  The first one was so bad, I ended up getting a uterine lining biopsy.  Anyone else experiencing cycles that seem to be on steroids?

Back to reading.  It looks like many here have had scares.  I wish I could've gotten myself here, maybe I would've felt better.  And Deb, I'm sorry I wasn't here when you had your surgery.  I'll keep reading, but I bet by now you're feeling back to (new) normal.

Michelle

MichelleinSJ

Hey, I'm only a week behind!  The Phils are in the World Series (didn't they do great?).  I am loving all of these pictures.  Beth R., I like your hat   Francine, your Turkey trip looks heavenly.  The traveling is what I'm looking forward to most about retirement.  Of course, I should get a job before I consider retirement.  I am going to Arizona on the 17th, surprising my best friend!  Can't wait!  My goal is to put up some pictures today.

It's interesting how introspective we've all become about this.  I thought it was just me until I came back here.  We're all trying to make sense of past/present/future thoughts and feelings.  I don't think of myself as being cured or in remission.  On the surface people think I have the most positive attitude, but in my head I often think I'm just waiting for the next bomb to drop.

And then there are the remarkable days that I actually kind of "forget" the whole thing happened.

Okay, will get to page 110 after I walk and have tea with my friends.  And then I plan to post some pictures here today.  Maybe that will cement me to this place.  I don't like that I keep coming and going from this board.  I need you guys and enjoy your company, and yet I keep bolting.

Michelle

pickle

Michelle: Yes it appears that we are trying to make sense of past/present/future. It is remarkable that as a group of women who have never met in person, we have a lot of commonalities with our experiences. It is so nice to come here when feeling up and being able to contribute something positive....it is also nice to come here when struggling because there are so many great women here to bolster us through the hard stuff too. I love my dear girl friends but I just don't have the "common denominator" with them that I get here.

happy reading!

hugs

Beth P

gymmom8

Michelle - There were many times that I didn't post anything, just kept up (and sometimes behind) on the reading.  I always knew there was a place for me to go when I was feeling up or down, whether I had anything to say or when I just needed to "hear" how others were doing and coping.  I love that fact that there are no judgements here.  We all need a place to share our feelings without being told if they are right or wrong.  I also have people come up to me and tell me how wonderful I look and how well I am handling everything.  Often on the inside, I am not feeling that way at all. 

I am actually between stage IIb and IIIa. Since I had multiple tumors, there wasn't a simple way to stage me.  I have always been told that there isn't much of a difference between the two stages as far as my diagnosis and treatments were concerned.  The tumors are gone due to surgery and I think of my chemo and radiation treatments as preventative and it zapped any bad cells that may have been lurking around my body. 

Beth P - I have a great group of friends that have been very supportive as well.  But...they don't really understand how I feel.  I'm always glad that whenever I have a question or concern, there is always someone here to help.  By the way, love the wig!!

Christy - I am so sorry to hear about your set back.  I completely understand your frustrations with the TE.  Mine is uncomfortable and I am waiting for my surgery to get rid of it.  I am having the latisimus (sp) dorsi flap.  That is when the use the muscles/tissues from your back.  I will  have an implant as well.  I am still trying to get all the answers from my PS about the surgery and get it scheduled soon.  Francine has had this surgery and has been a great help with answering my questions.  Best of luck with your decision.  Do what you feel is best for you!

No one else is home right now but someone's alarm is beeping.  Gotta love those kids...

Cyndi 

Anonymous

Michelle  So good to hear from you again.  Although when we get further from treatment, we will naturally tend to drift from this board.  I call that no news is good news.  It's never anything to feel guilty about.  I like to think of us as family.... without all that judgmental crap.I always know the board is here when I NEED it.  And, if I'm not in the mood to share, that's ok too.

Christy  Sorry to hear of your TE issues.  I was sure that I would need radiation and that's why I went the flap alternative.  Doesn't it seem that this nightmare of treatments and surgeries will never end.

Beth  I love the wig

crusader1

Well ladies it just cut me off again.I was sent to another part of this board..

Here goes again... Beth- I did not realize that when one's hair grows in it is in two different colors.Only kidding. But you still look so pretty even at halloween. I do want to see the new you.

Deb- glad that you are still on the mend and moving forward.

Yes this is a board of no judgements at all. I AM SO GLAD that I found this board over a year ago. It has been such a support to me and it is great to have new friends from all over the USA, Canada, and even Austraila .I too have many friends but they cannot relate as all of you can.

Big day here in NYC with the Yankees ticker tape parade and all of them getting the keys to the city.

Must great dressed as it is my stepsons 42cd birhtday and we are to take him to dinner.

Hugs to all..

Francine

pickle

Francine: Here it is..... mine grew back in two colors....salt n' pepper....lol. Have a great dinner.

ccbaby

Thanks everyone....If I knew 10 months ago what I know now, I would never have had the expander put in for implants. Back then, my surgeon said I didn't need radiation. Well, I actually believed him at the time, but come to find out, I definitely needed the radiation. Heck, I was so clueless back then, I thought I could get my exchange to implants during chemo! I knew nothing then and know SO much now. Mainly because of coming to this website. I have learned everything from the incredible ladies here and am so appreciative for it.

Cyndi...I am seriously considering the lat flap as well. I have been doing a lot of research online about it. Did you have radiation?

Deb...I know it is neverending and especially for you since you have had to do much more chemo than the rest of us. I feel so bad for you.

Francine....looks like you have had a lot to deal with too with reconstruction. This part of it shouldn't be so hard!

Pickle.....I love the hair!!

crusader1

Beth,,,Love the new you. Mine came in too salty for me and I have been using Nice and Easy. I am 62 and never really colored my hair before. I always just highlighted it. You are so lovely in all of your photos.

Christy..You can PM me if you want the low down on the Lat flap surgery.Mine was in July.

Dinner was fine.

Have a fun weekend all.

Francine

Mom_of_boys

Some good... some not-so-good... but I really appreciate you ladies letting us know how you are!  Got my blood tests back today.  Going to have to up the D3, magnesium, and B12.  It's do-able.

bethr

Hi All,

 Christy - I'm sorry to hear about your problems with the expanders.  I haven't had recon yet, but have my first appt on the 13th with a surgeon to begin talking about recon and am hoping for a DIEP..  we'll see.  If I'm eligible for that type, I'm going to let him know that I'll be happy to donate more of my stomach fat to those poor unfortunates who don't have enough body fat of their own for the DIEP.  It's my duty (smile)..  But, I'm hoping for the best for you.

Beth - Love your thoughful posts.  So many times you seem to voice what's been on my mind and it's so helpful.  Also, your tuna recipe looks great!  Thanks for sharing.  Your wig is cool too.  It looks almost like my hair now... so much grey!!!!!  Oh, and so far the tamoxifin has been O.K., but it's only been a little over a week.

 Sakura - congrats on finishing rads...  I watch alot of American football and, based on your description, I think...  I KNOW I'd love to watch the Australian version... 

Michelle - You too can have a ballcap like mine by going to the Philadelphia Eagles website... I love it!

 All - I agree with the excercise posts.  I haven't gotten into a good routine yet and the posts are helping me get my butt in gear...

I know I'm lousy at acknowledging all of your wonderful posts, but I do read them and you're all in my thoughts and prayers.  I hope you all have a great weekend!!!!

Beth

gymmom8

Christy - I did have radiation.  I think that is why an implant alone does not work for me.  My TE is tight right now and bothering me.  I can't wait to get it out.  My PS is taking his time submitting the paperwork for my surgery.  I am still hoping he can fit me in between thanksgiving and christmas. 

Beth - I now have plenty of stomach fat to donate as well.  Please let me know if you find anyone interested.  I didn't really want to go with the TRAM however because of the longer surgery and longer down time.  Three kids and their schedules don't warrant mom being down and out for very long.

MOB - Is D3 just a form of vitamin D?  Is the magnesium to help absorb calcium better?  And what is the B12 for?  I was told to increase my vitamin D and calcium but nothing else.  My bone density scan looked good.

I think I'll take my 7 year old to a movie tonight.  We need some time together. I better go see what's playing.

Cyndi

Mom_of_boys

Cyndi... I was told specifically D3.  My tests showed my magnesium was very low... the CNP strongly felt that might be the reason I was having heart palpitations.  The B12 I think is more for energy than anything else.  I take one dropperful, under my tongue, once a day. 

sakura73

Count me in for stomach fat donation. All worthy causes considered! I lost a few kilos in my first weeks  of dieting but am seriously off the wagon in the last 2 weeks because my mother has been visiting and she keeps buying chocolates from our favourite chocolate shop!

NYDeb it is good to see you here. I am thinking of you and hope you are winning the battle against the Red Devil.

bethr yes, you would love our version!

beth p your hair looks great! I am seriously considering abandoning my wig sooner than previously planned, because  all this week it is going to be stinking hot. Did go wig and scarfless for a walk last night and it felt GREAT.

MichelleinSJ it is lovely to see you here. Isn't it funny how life takes care of us sometimes - your experience of realising NOT getting a teaching position was a godsend is exactly like some experiences I have had this year, when not getting what I wanted turned out to be better than getting it!

Okay, I have some news. I have not told many people yet and some of those I have told have freaked  out on my behalf, but I think the news is completely wonderful. Damian and I are back together again after a long process of becoming friends and spending more and more time together (including, I can confess to you but nowhere else, some friends with benefits hanky panky). I still don't fully understand why he broke up with me but it seems he had a panic attack about the ways in which living with me would require him to change other aspects of his life. He seems to be much more comfortable about that now, and it is he who first suggested that we move back from friends to partners. 

I feel so happy. Some friends have expressed their concerns that  it (him leaving me) might happen again, and of course it might (though I don't think it will), but after everything that has happened this year my life philosophy from now on is not to be too careful of avoiding risks. As we  all found out this year, you never know what might happen. I am not going to let the fear of being hurt again keep me from being happy. Just like I am not letting the fear of getting cancer again keep me from being happy. I would rather risk more hurt than risk going without the joy that being with him gives me. 

So that is my news.  I hope Monday morning is finding you all well and happy.