Amazonian Women ~ the One Breasted

unique

Hi, just wondering how all you are dealing with the lopsided-ness.

This morning donned my camisole thinking wouldn't it be nice if a loose shirt had a pocket for a prosthetic. The cami would be hot for summer.

Am doing rads so am in a loose and comfy universe right now.

I am not a person who likes the one boobed look. Wish I had something to wear at night under my PJs. I know eventually there may be acceptance, but not yet!

car

I'll be honest--I might have gone flat chested w/a bilateral, but couldn't do the Amazonian thing (which is exactly what I called it). There are times when I wish that I had a bilateral (but not all of the time!) because I opted for recon which ultimately led to 4 surgeries (a failed TE recon and a very successful bilateral). But what a lot of aggravation not to be lopsided!

Mouser

Thank you for starting this thread -- i've been thinking about this a lot. i'm 6 months out from a left mastectomy and not dealing well with lopsidedness at all!

Catch myself thinking about a 2nd mastectomy, just to be symmetrical. Can't face the idea of recon -- implants boggle my mind, a DIEP means 8 hrs of surgery,and what if i don't like the result? Besides, it means more numb areas, and one thing that bothers me a lot is the numbness, the not-feeling of the left breast area.

But the lopsidedness really really bothers me. 34D on the right means i do wear a prosthesis -- i was never comfortable braless, even at home. And the prosthesis is no problem -- it means i'm symmetrical when i'm dressed; it feels fine, i'm comfortable, i have no problems even in yoga class. i swim without it, and if anyone notices the asymmetry, they don't say so (at 6:30 AM, who's looking at a 65 yr old's breasts?)

It's looking in the mirror that gets me. Asymmetry. jolt. Or drying myself, and automatically reaching for the left breast. jolt. Lying in bed, and the right breast flops... no left breast. jolt.

Does it ever get to feel normal?

starzhere

I, also, don't like being lopsided.  Since, I was only 37 when I had my mastectomy, I do have to say that I was glad I had my one breast. 

As I get older, though, it's kind of a nuisance.  I don't really like being lopsided and don't feel comfortable going out without a breast form.  In the long run I think it's easier having a bilateral.  It's much more freeing.

margeb

I had a right-sided mastectomy in January.  I've always been small-chested, have worn the prosthesis, the fluffy and gone without interchangeably, but like you I hate looking at myself nude. But for me, I'd hate looking at myself with a bilateral as well.  It is not normal; it's an amputation. I have to make the best of it, but I don't have to be happy about it.  I was not a candidate for any reconstruction type but silicone and I didn't want to have to worry about the silicone.  I know in the future we will have more options available.  There is a company that is combining adipose cells with stem cells for reconstruction for lumpectomies; there are now clinical trials worldwide.  So far this is not for mastectomies. But I have confidence we'll get there once they are able to grow skin and fat cells that are unable to grow cancer cells.  This is not science fiction; this company has taken the baby steps.   

angeljoy

I had a bilaterals and reconstruction with implants.  One implant failed and I just don't want to go through any of the more complicated surgeries in order to have another breast. I'm glad I didn't just go ahead and remove the other implant as well.  It didn't seem right to mess with that side while it was doing well and I think looking at myself flat and scarred on both sides would be even harder for me. So I'm one-breasted. So far, the prosthesis is working out fine. It matches up to my remaining implant well and I find clothes that look good easily enough. I don't however much like looking at myself without clothes. It is an amputation of sorts and I do feel disfigured. For awhile I even wore a puffy pinned in a soft sports bra to bed, but three months out I've graduated to a sports bra with no puffy and will even forget sometimes and walk around the house lopsided. I don't think I'll ever be totally comfortable with how I look.  Like all of you, I've accepted it but that doesn't mean I have to like it.  I too hope for the day when there will be more options than the ones currently available to us.  Maybe I'll do something then.

Angela

SusieMTN

Hi ladies!  No problem for me with the lopsidedness while at home..... I thought I had this totally figured out and purchased two mastectomy cami's from TLCdirect, they are great as they have inside pocket for drains, a pocket for the insert,  but I didn't anticipate the fact that my "foobie" would be higher than my real breast.    Glad I purchased them but just didn't look at the fact that my remaining breast was......well you get the idea! 

Did any of you get fitted for a prothesis?  I will pick mine up next week and honestly, I am looking forward to it!  

Erica3681

SusieMTN,

Good luck with your new prosthesis (aka breast form). For what it's worth, I find that the bra is as important as the breast form, so hopefully you'll be able to find one that's comfortable for both your natural breast and the breast form. Even though breast forms come in a variety of shapes, just like with our real breasts, in different bras, the forms can look different. Hopefully you'll have the opportunity to try a few bras and pick one or two that you find both flattering and comfortable.

Barbara 

mumito

I guess I should buy a prothesis, are they expensive? I have been lopsided since last nov and with the warmer weather coming won't want to always wear a jacket or vest.

Mouser

Hi Mumayan --

If you don't have insurance - yes, they cost. Mine was $350, but insurance paid most of it. Most stores that sell them do handle the insurance. Check that your insurance doesn't consider the prosthesis "reconstruction" -- I've heard that some do, and if you're not sure yet about your final decision on recon, it's worth asking.

Also, take the advice on this forum to wear a snug top when you get fitted. You really need to see how it looks under your slinkiest shirt! I must have tried a half dozen that looked good in the bra, but didn't quite match my breast - i wore a snug, thin fabric knit top with horizontal striping to be sure i got the projections lined up...

Beyond that, the fitter was a real help - first time i went, i got an inexperienced person and almost wound up with what turned out to be a not-quite-right fit. Luckily she couldn't manage the inurance either, so i came back when the expert was in. What a difference!

kmccraw423

I had bilateral mastectomy.  Before my implants failed, one breast was puckered in and definitely flat.  The other one the expander slipped out of the pocked and was in the front.  That breast did not even look like it had a mastectomy (unless  you count the ugly scar across it).  I didn't know what to do as it was quite obvious I was lopsided.  Even a jacket didn't hide it.  Of course, once the expanders failed and had to be removed I am pretty much symmetrical - flat.

I, too, ordered from TLC.  I ordered a "D" insert which is what I was - it was huge!  Sent it back and am waiting for the "C" to come in.  I have excess skin for later reconstruction and would really prefer to go "au natural" except when summer gets here - then what?

Jenniferz

Another "Amazonian" here.  I am also glad that this thread got started. After nearly three years of the "new me", I thought that looking in the mirror would be ok, but really, as most have stated, it's not.  I wear a prothesis, and had skin sparing surgery because at the time I really did think I'd have recon. at a later date.  But, as that time goes by, the thought of more surgery, possible failures, infections, etc., that dream just slips away.  I have a little "poof" where my breast was, and really wish it was gone. (talk about ugly!!)  Again, more surgery.  Ahh, well..At least there is a teeny weeny bit of cleavage there with the bra!

As I get older, though, it's kind of a nuisance. I agree with starz here.  Wish I had opted for both to be gone, but that wasn't offered to me, and I don't think my surgeon would have agreed to it anyway as my cancer was so very early.  I did run this past my family at the time of the original surgery, and they all looked at me as though I was nuts..".removing a perfectly good body part?"

Here's to all us having continued good health,

Jennifer 

kmccraw, in the summer when I'm around the house, or working outside, my prothesis is OFF! That darn thing is just tooooo hot to where unless we are going someplace. I usually where just a bigger shirt, and as I'm not that big anyway, no one knows.

jai1950

Hi all,  I am scheduled to have surgery on 3/25 a right mastectomy without reconstruction.  How long before you can be fitted for a prothesis?  I am large breasted and am concerned about the obvious deformity.  Also where do I get the cami people are talking about?  Any tips or comments would be helpful. Thanks

hbcheryl

I had my surgery 9/11/08 and until last week I was absolutely fine with being lopsided.  Then "good" friend sat me down and apparently all my friends have met behind my back and want to buy me a prostesis for my birthday - huhhhhhh.  Well it has put me into a tailspin - what in the heck is wrong with me!!!  

I know they are trying to be helpful but it has hurt me dreadfully, just thinking of them all sitting around talking about me brings tears to my eyes.  I go to the gym 6 days a week and take some kind of class bought myself tops with a shelf bra in them and all busy design so you don't notice but really I don't care as most of the people that I go to classes with know and are very supportive.   I am a 44D on the left and a 32A on the right and I was happy with myself but now I don't know what to think, usually wear a vest to work and will deal with summer when it comes (can swim in my own pool au natural if I like) - don't know if I want to bother with more surgery was just waiting to see how I feel - now I feel like a weepy 13 year old.  This site keeps me going I know I can vent here and someone does understand me

Cheryl

SusieMTN

Erica wrote:  thanks for the info, I was told they were ordering a few and hopefully I can find 2 that are comfy for both. This should be interesting!!!

 jai1950:  I purchase my cami from TLCdirect.com it is called a "post surgery camisole" pocket for drains were great.  I think mine would have been better if I had chose a smaller size.  FYI

 hbcheryl: You do what is right and makes you feel good (we all need to) I have a friend who had a bilateral mastectomy and chose no reconstr. she was fine with that.  She almost never wears her fake boobs.  Prior to my mastectomy I could never understand why she made that decision.  Now I do tho!  She also gets people "trying to help" and becoming upset with her for not wearing a prothesis.  I would always just let her be, glad that was my choice! 

otter

Cheryl, your post makes me sad.  I'd like to tell your friends this: "Thanks for thinking of me--now, BUTT OUT!"

I know, I know... we'd like our closest friends to tell us if we have a piece of food between our teeth, or some toilet tissue stuck to our shoe.  But, would they get together and tell someone with one arm that he/she really needs to buy a prosthetic arm for the other side?  Would they offer to split the cost of a prosthetic foot, for someone who'd had a foot amputated and was doing fine without it?  How about someone who wore a patch over one eye--would they scheme to buy that person a glass eye?

Maybe they were just being kind and thoughtful.  Maybe they think you would look better if you were "balanced".  Maybe they are concerned you might want a prosthesis but can't afford one.  Maybe, maybe not.  But it's none of their d*mn business, what sort of personal body parts are underneath your clothing!!!  Gee, I wonder if they would get together, pool their spare change, and recommend a plastic surgeon to a woman whose breasts were on the small side... 

<sigh>

Sorry.  I got carried away.  It's just that I've been thinking about this lopsidedness thing.  People are taught as children that it's impolite to stare at someone who is missing an arm or leg or eye (or hair!).  No one (I hope) would dream of shunning someone, or putting pressure on him/her, if he/she chose not to wear a prosthetic arm.  No one (I hope) would be critical of someone if he/she wore one of those funky, spring-looking devices instead of a prosthesis that actually looked like a leg.

There is way too much attention paid to breasts, I think.  Just IMHO.  Gotta go calm down...

otter 

mumito

Otter

I have been lopsided for the last four months with no problems. This week my daughter asked why I had not bothered to order a bra with a prostesis.. I did not think it was that inportant. I think other people have more of a problem with it than we do.

havehope

I had left mastectomy in Oct 08 and I still don't wear a bra or form.I feel very uncomfortable with a bra than without.  I am small 34 A/B and I decided to go for right prophylactic mastectomy as soon as I am done with chemo. No plan for reconstruction either. I will be happy not to have to wear any bras for the rest of my life ( except occasions). I am looking forward to my new look. It is hard to look in the mirror but I am happy I am alive. I had breasts for almost 40 years ( I am 44) and if I live another 44 without breasts I will be happy.

vangoghpro

Hi everyone,

I visited a prosthesis fitter on March 11 and was provided with a Camp breast form and two mastectomy bras - all this courtesy of the insurance company. I must admit that the effect of once again looking balanced in clothes was a good one. I love to shop ebay and I also purchased a breast form there. It turned out to be a Camp also and was very inexpensive. I have seen several breast forms for well below the advertised price on ebay. I think if your insurance will not cover the cost, you should be able to find one there at a reasonable price. They also sell mastectomy bras. I do not bother with the form when I am at home or doing outdoor activities, but for work it was a must for me.

Just follow the measuring suggestions to decide the size of the prosthesis you will need. The one I got from the fitter was the same size as the one I got after self-measuring. Good luck.

Linda

geebung

Mouser and Jennifer, I could really relate to both your posts. I also had a skin-sparing mastectomy, nearly 2 years ago and I have thought long and hard about DIEP but the thought of such a long surgery and how would I feel about it - what if I hated it after going through all that expense and trouble? (But maybe it would be worth it - how to decide?) My remaining breast is a 38B so going without a bra or prosthesis does make me feel very unbalanced. I still have phantom breast syndrome - I'm glad I do as I have some moments of feeling whole again.

Jane 

KAK

Oh, cheryl, I felt like otter did when I read your post.  I'm lopsided myself & I did get a prosthesis and pocket bra but mainly because I got a kick out of the fact that my insurance had to pay for it.  It doesn't work well in the pocket bra because it slides down into a lump.  Works better in a regular bra next to my skin where it stays put.  But I almost never wear it.  I don't have as obvious a disparity as other women anyway, but I've found that for work, I can mostly get away with wearing these nice softly padded bras that just make the nipple line look even or a couple of my contour bras that do the same thing.  Even though one cup will be somewhat empty, it will hold it's shape (unless somebody smacks into it, I guess!!  lol).

Listen, not to give myself a plug, but I recommend you maybe visit my blog, which is called "The Accidental Amazon."   Might make you laugh a bit & feel better. Also, this thread has inspired me to write a post or two about this specific topic.

BTW, I work as a PT and just did a weekend seminar for PTs and OTs about rehab for BC.  It was great.  We learned a lot of techniques for reducing scar tissue, fatigue and increasing motion, as well as reducing lymphedema.  I need to get some PT/OT myself & I finally found a few women I would trust to work on me.  That's the worst part of my mangled boob.  It's a lump of scar tissue & I continue to feel it tighten up from rads even though I stretch and massage it myself.  I really encourage women to see a competent rehab clinicianif they have problems. Doesn't matter how many years have gone by since their dx.  I felt so healed and surrounded by good energy this weekend, and there was another BC survivor there who was also a PT. 

Hugs to all.

unique

Hi, Jari ~

They had me wait three months but that is WAY too long I think. You need something in between for symmetry. Well, as I read all your posts, if symmetry is important to you. I got a prosthesis from a friend who doesn't wear hers, and used it with some fiberfill to make it a little bigger to fit me, and it works so well I haven't gotten fitted yet.

My friend said she got hers at Victoria's Secret, and that you can get prosthetics of all kinds plus bras with pockets there, but I'm too bashful to go in and check. So odd of me.

unique

How did I miss this?

A magnificent woman who has tred this path before me -

http://www.beautyoutofdamage.com

mumito

Last week while in Florida I found this lightweight sticky on one side breast enhancers at the Dillards dept store. Bought them and they work fine in a pocket bra and they stick so they don't slide around. I call them my 20$ boob.Works fine for me.  I don't know why but I have been avoiding getting fitted for a prostesis.  Besides whats the point if I am going to take the other breast off this summer.

Lena

Oh, wow!

 

Excellent thread, thank you for starting it, unique!

 

I'm a future Amazonian woman -- I need to finish my neoadjuvant chemo before I can have my mastectomy. My right breast, which is full of IBC, will be coming off in late July or early August, I estimate.

 

It was this forum which made me decide on no reconstruction. From the time I started seeing changes in my right breast, I'd been researching everything to do with breast cancer, treatment and reconstruction, and thought I'd probably go for recon -- I'd seen some really nice photos of reconstructed women whose "new" breasts looked really natural, and even better, I liked the idea of trading some or all of my Midsection from Hell for a new breast, but then I joined this forum when I was actually diagnosed...

 

....I started reading posts from women having recon and just couldn't deal with the idea of even MORE protracted postop recovery time than from a regular mastectomy (which will be bad enough), multiple surgeries, complications with tissue expanders, infections,  and so on -- and decided for me, it's definitely not worth all that -- not for something, which I also learned here, is cosmetic ONLY -- reconstructed breasts aren't sexually responsive! And that's what I like about my breasts, their sexual responsiveness; they don't look all that terrific anyway, and at 34C, I'm NOT what anyone would describe as "stacked!"

 

I want to keep my left breast if I can. It was suggested to me in another area of the forum that since I have IBC and am hormone positive, I should ask to have that one taken off too as prophylaxis, as well as to not be "lopsided." My oncologist hasn't said anything to me about removing my left breast for legitimate medical reasons and unless he does, I'm keeping it, because my sexuality is very, very important to me, and I really don't want to be disabled even temporarily on BOTH sides for postop or risk symmetrical lymphedema.

 

Probably if I was younger (I'm 47) and/or not in a committed relationship (i.e., I'm not looking to meet new men who I'd want to find me sexually attractive in terms of appearance), I'd think recon was worth it, but the fact is, I'm a middle-aged woman, what physical beauty I had is fading anyway, and nobody has to see or know what I have, or don't have, under my shirt who isn't either a doctor or in love with me for other reasons than what I look like. So no recon surgery for me...and my beloved Pack Rat agrees -- when I told him what I'd read about recon, he actually said "Go flat on that side then, that's just not worth it!" (Gosh, he even thought I was being silly about my hair, the very soon loss of which bothers me way more than losing the breast!)

 

If I don't like how I look in clothes after my mastectomy, I'll either stuff a sock in my right bra cup or do the breast form thing for when I go out.

 

~Lena.

havehope

summer is coming so here is what I found for me:

I bought one piece swimsuit from here and I like it a lot.

http://stores.ebay.com/SWIMSUIT-BZ

Also VS has Bandeau top that comes with pockets and it works great. I use the advised from http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/82/topic/706036?page=2#idx_55 , swimming poofy and it works great. I am size 34A/B.

unique

Hi, Lena ~

I was also thinking to do recon until I found out what was involved, and then I said NO THANK YOU. Results seemed good but all that surgery! I can manage with one boob. My sister was even thinking the double mast for prophylactic, and I'm glad I said no to that, too. I am keeping it and my old car until maintenance gets prohibitive on either one. If I get sick of biopsies on the remaining boob I mean.

Simvog ~ I am at the beginning of the bathing suit search. I did go to the pool about a month after my mast and put a poofy in the bathing suit cup. But it collapsed with water when I got out of the pool. I am wondering what others do. It was fine when dry and okay in the water (who's to see what it looks like underwater?)

I went to Landsend.com but I am not paying $80 for a swimsuit. I usually get mine at the Salvation Army. May try your site and see.

Lena

Good for you, Unique! Also, I'm sooo totally with you on that "keep the old car if it still runs" idea too! 

 

My favorite car was my 1990 Mazda 323SE which I got as a leftover at the dealer in 1991. My uncle was with me and saying, "don't you want a BRAND new car?" But this was my first "new" car at all -- my prior two had been 4 year old Chevys with 26,000 miles when I got  them (yeah both, although one was a 76 Nova and the other was an 83 Celebrity), and they also IMO didn't drive nearly as nice as this Mazda which I had just test driven when Uncle tried to suggest I get a brand new one, and only had 150 miles on it anyway. I saved two grand by sticking with the "unwanted" leftover, too. As a rule I actually hate driving (I'm scared of it), but I hated it a lot less in THIS car. As I drove her out of the dealership, and followed my uncle back to his house, I named her Shuttlecraft Eridani. She gave me 13 years, 4 months, 9 days and 110,468 miles before she died of a blown head gasket while I was en route to spend a weekend with my Pack Rat (I remember her exact Death Spot and whenever I pass it I "relive" Eridani's death!) . The only time she got expensive and inconvenient was towards the end: electrical issues which took five months to resolve in year 11, and in year 12 she needed a new transmission which I gave her ($1500 ouch!), so yeah, the blown head gasket was going to be "too much" to fix (though I ASKED my automotively knowledgeable and mechanical genius Pack Rat about it, since he's saved other cars from that kind of death on several previous occasions -- except those of course were VW Jetta diesels, his field of car expertise -- he said it would be too much to even try with Eridani... sigh... ).

 

Eridani's immediate successor had to be a "transition car" (the long term temp job I'd had, had just ended one week prior!) -- a week after Eridani's death, my Pack Rat and his cousin supplied me (at the cost of an alternator and some oil return lines or something like that, oh, and also a promise that when i was done with the car, could cousin please have the driver side front shock back? LOL! but it came to under $150!) with Shuttlecratt Nevasa, a 1989 Volkswagen Jetta from what we call "The Fleet." I was extremely lucky to get the almost three years out of her that I did, but she lasted (barely! LOL do I have car malfunction horror stories to write a book with just from Shuttlecraft Nevasa!)) long enough for me to get going in a new job, three months after which I got Shuttlecraft T'Kiri, my present vehicle. 

 

T'Kiri is a 2006 Toyota Corolla. In late 2007 through early 2008 I was coming home from work to messages on my answering machine from the dealership telling me how "in demand" my car is and all this money I can get to trade in for a brand new Toyota, but I'm like, "The car I'm driving right now runs better than a charm, what do I need a new car for?" So I deleted the messages without returning the calls and I kept T'Kiri. I like her a lot (and she's of course still running trouble free!) -- I absolutely plan to keep her until she dies (er, um, well,  more likely at this point, until I do!), but I can't say I love her quite the same way I loved Eridani.

 

Interesting, the bathing suit topic. I never even THOUGHT ABOUT how to deal with bathing suits and mastectomy, because I haven't owned or worn a bathing suit in almost 25 years! I don't have the body for that and never did. I know, I didn't have to wear skimpy bikinis (and I didn't!), but even 1-pieces never looked GOOD on me when I was YOUNG;  wearing a bathing suit made me feel embarrassed about my body. Realized that in my early 20s or so, at which point I threw out all my bathing suits, never replaced them, and felt a LOT better about myself! Extra benefit added, too: no more sunburns! :-D I'm very very fair and I burn very badly  Even when I peeled after the sunburn, I peeled out white again -- there is no "burn first, peel then tan" for me. Well, when I'm eventually an Amazonian Woman, cool, this is one less thing I need to worry about!  :-)

 

~Lena.

flannelette

I have found violets.
April hath come on,
And the cool winds feel softer.
–Nathaniel Parker Willis (1806–67)

Hello all - new to this thread, don't know why it's taken me so long, but I guess I'm an Amazonian, and happy with it. I don't know why I haven't visited a mastectomy boutique, maybe cause I work for myself & live in the country & don't have to meet people for business reasons, am too lazy to drive there & it's low on the low on the list of my priorities. (trying to prevent a reoccurence by eating better & exercise are at the top)

I've managed to not wear a bra most of my life, and still hate them, but do wear them when the clothing (like t-shirts) demands. for now, if I'm going somewhere like the Y, I just put on my padded bra, same as before bc, and stick some underwear in it & wear a black tee & figure it's not my problem if someone looks closely. I'm about to make a swimming poofy courtesy the swimming poofy thread and might make a few & sew them right into my swimsuits also a couple strappy-type summer dresses. A very kind lady is knitting me a knitted titty (or tit-bit) in black, looking forward to that.One source is www.titbits.com, I believe.

REconstruction never entered my mind, maybe cause I had my last big fling at vamp-dom 4 years ago at 58, pre bc.  After chemo my hair, which had been straight, shoulder-length, auburn, came in thick, wavy, silver, and wild - the silver lining, I like to call it. i wanted curly wild hair all my life!

so I have funky short hair, like I've been to a trendy salon, and one boob & don't much care, and feel strong, so I guess I've sorta joined the Amazonians, and like it!

Thanks for letting me prattle on....have a great day all.

 

mumito

Unique  I bought a two piece black swimsuit from walmart. Covers in all the right places and my daughter says you can't really tell that I am missing a breast.  I have been walking the beach with it no problem and I think  it cost me 40dollars. Gota love Walmart.

Amazon_Archer

I had a left modified radical mastectomy 17 years ago with 32 lymph nodes removed.  I was 37.  At the time of my surgery my Onc felt I would really be better off without reconstruction at that time. He felt I would have a better chance of survival.  As you can tell by my name I shoot competition archery.  I actually felt I have had an advantage over the other women since my boob didn't get in the way of the bow string .  At the time of my surgery having a bi-lateral was not given to me as an option.  Now I wish it had been.  It's been 17 years almost to the day, actually, and now it is starting all over again for my right breast.  The only good thing is they feel they have caught it early enough.  So now I will be flat chested whether I wanted to be or not.  My wish now is...I wish I had done it sooner and not given it a chance for recurrence.  Surgery is in 3-4 weeks.