Motivation

dlb823

I walked/ran 4.4 miles this morning.  I wasn't particularly trying for distance.  It was just a nice day and it felt good to keep moving. 

I'm sitting here LOL and think you will too at an email I just got from one of my SIL's.  "How are you really doing?," she asked!  Hmmm... I thought I was doing great, but when you ask it that way, now I'm not sure!     Deanna

ktym

Deanna, I get what your SIL is asking.  I tell everyone great and they say you look it.  And, really I am doing better.  My mood is goo, I'm hopeful for the future, my chemo brain is better enough that I sometimes forget how much I'm compensating and changing to accomodate it and how I use to mutlitask.  I do look in the mirror now and think its normal unless I stop to remember how I used to look.  Most days I barge through and just think this is normal and I do pretty good.  Then there are days I stop and think about it, or someone asks how are you really feeling and I say you don't want to know.  Because I'm sick and tired of my feet hurting and being cold all the time from neuropathy.  I'm really sick and tired of how weak I am and how much of a struggle it is to exercise and how stupid I feel because my balance is so bad.  I'm sick and tired of how long it takes to type something at work because the neuropathy has made my fingers clumsy and unlike here I have to correct those typing and word mistakes.  I want to be able to put ear rings in again without having to figure out which ones my neuropathy fingers can handle.  Tired of dropping things all the time.  When I stop and think it will be another year before we know how much if any improvement I'll end up with I could scream.  Tiered of people at work being p------ off and wanting me to do more while I drag home dead and wanting to cry at night because the fatigue is still horrid and I'm pushing as much as I humanely can.  And I'm sick and tired of knowing doctors visits and scans are coming up an doing ok until a couple of days before when I'm walking around with a pit in my stomach.  I'd like to get through a day without hot flashes.

See, how whiney?  Can't stand the person who wrote that so she stays buried most of the time.  So, get your SIL's questions, I just try not to answer and keep that person buried. 

Think I'll do the treadmill this morning, then yoga after work.

pk0199

Deanna and Kmmd (((((((hugs)))))))) to both of you.

Isn't it funny how you think you are doing so well and bam, you have a moment like that. Both of you and many others here have been through so much and yet you are here, beautiful, vibrate and so full of care and compassion for all of us. You keep us motivated and hopeful for the future. So I think it is okay to have those moments but please remember you are Warrior Woman and we respect you and love you.

Spring you take care, thinking of you with your U/S and lymphadema.

Kari- hey girl, just wanted to say hi.

Now who have I missed- Meg, Brenda, Joy, Diane, Harley, Blondie, Allie, Val, Mum , sorry if I missed anyone! Huge hugs and hi's to everyone. I am in a great mood! DS and I are getting along, no arguing (our personalities are so  similar we tend to butt heads alot), my day off and need to go to Costco and buy something for a baby shower. Have my morning body aches but am very hopeful today. Can't wait for hubby to come home, we will do our "torture" DVD of legs and back then hopefully and evening of cuddling. After that DVD that will be about all we will be able to manage!

Have a great Friday everyone!!!! 

dianenv

kmmd

Hang in there!  Everyone should be able to whine.  I am happy I found this forum.  i mention something to my husband about getting depressed and he doesn't know why. I am blessed with my outcome and overall physical health, but sometimes you just need to sit and cry for what has been lost.  Then you get up and put one foot in front of the other and barge ahead.  Keep exercising as much as you can, I am going to have to try yoga since I can't Zumba yet.  I need an OK from the PS first.  All he said I can do is walk, which I am doing a lot of. 

I hope everyone has a great weekend.  I am off to Lake Tahoe tonight, hopefully we will not get snowed in.  diane

pk0199

Diane, maybe you should hope you do get snowed in!!!

kfinnigan

Hi all you lovely warrior women!  love that!  

Hugs kmmd, you don't have to keep that girl buried all the time, its good to scream/cry whatever it takes or I believe that girl will bring on the 'black dog'...get it out, take a bat and beat the heck out of a pillow, not your man, your pillow!!  .  You have so much drive, so much life in you, you amaze me and I look forward to your posts!  

Deanna, I get that too from people, how are you really doing...it means they care, but you ARE doing fantastic!!

Spring, sending lots of positive vibes your way girlie!  You are rockin it girlfriend!!!!  You inspire me so much!!

Penny!  YEEHAWWW to the good mood and WOOHOOOOO too!!  I am so much like my older DD, so I get exactly what you mean about your DS!  have fun at the shower!  I have 2 showers coming up last weekend of Feb...baby (coworker) and bridal (DD's that her future MIL is throwing).

Diane, you are going to Tahoe!!!!!!!!!!  we go all the time when the weather is warmer.  Traffic is always a nightmare when its snowing...and its snowing up there!  Have a GREAT time!!

We haven't heard from Ainm in awhile...you ok girl?

Joy, how are you?

Big silly wave and hi to all!!   Oh oh oh...last night my DH was singing at the top of his lungs while he cleaned up after dinner (I was washing up in our bathroom)...We had hawaiian music on during dinner and reminisced about our wedding in Maui, and I was laughing so hard cause that boy can't sing!  It was hilarious!  love moments like that. 

dlb823

awwww... Kari... You obviously make him very happy if he's singing in the kitchen!

Diane... Have a great weekend at Tahoe!

Penny... Love hearing you in such a great mood!  Our kids sure can influence that, can't they?!!!  And what is it they say, "If Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

(((kmmd)))... Thanks for always reaching out with understanding.  I know you are still struggling, but I'm believing that things will get a lot better for you with time.  I'm a little ahead of you in terms of my dx & tx, and. believe me, each 6 months has made a huge difference in my pain and stamina.  I also think changing my diet (which was already healthy, but even better now) has begun to make a difference, too.  But no matter how much better we're feeling, it seems like all it takes is someone trying to probe a bit -- whatever their motivation -- that can stop us momentarily in our tracks and make us question our own progress.

Have a great Super Bowl weekend everyone!    Deanna

Springtime

Deanna, it is so miserable here, rain cold supposed to get rain/snow mix tomorrow. I could not believe you could just walk for 4.4 miles just b/c it was a nice day!!!!!! I did 30 min of Yoga and no walking. Very bad this week! The weather and all the Doc/LE appts do not help. 

Who Dat! Rooting for the Saints! Enjoy everyone! 

Harley44

It is raining all day here... and cold....   I just feel icky today so I did not even get off this computer to endure that dreadful elliptical torture machine!  I did some laundry, and made some muffins, and that is ALL....  a lazy day...

Harley

Springtime

Harley, sounds good to me!!

I was laying there in bed this morning and thinking, "Ohh I am so glad it is Saturday and I don't have to get up!" NOT !!!! Good thing it "dawned on me" before I was late for work!!!

I think I am having winter-itis. BRING ON THE SPRING!!! 

Harley44

Spring,

I am so sick of WINTER!  I can't wait for SPRING!!!

Glad you weren't late for work!  But, tomorrow, you can say... I DON'T HAVE TO GET UP... IT IS SATURDAY!!  YEAH!!

I feel achier on days when I just SIT...  I think it's the Femara...      .....sigh

Harley 

vivre

Hi everyone! Glad to see you are all staying motivated. I just cannot keep up with this thread. I just wanted to pop in to see if anyone wanted any info on the prevention convention I have planned for March in the Chicago area. LauraGTO and I are also starting a prevention website. The weekend is going to be a lot of fun. I have worked out  good rate for the hotel rooms and the seminars are free because all my docs and teachers are speaking without charge. We will be exploring good health, mind, body and soul. If anyone wants more info on our website pm me and I will send you a link or an email. Hope to see some of you there!

Oh, and Kari, I hope you will help on our new site with all of your great inspirational quotes. We plan to make that a regular feature.

jap

Hi folks,

I have been following this thread for a while and have now decided to join.

After six weeks of suffering from a bad reaction to Zometa (apparently it does happen occasionally), I would like to try to get back in shape.  Will try walking today and eating healthy foods.

I will report on my success.

Thanks for being here.

Jo Anne

ktym

Thanks pk, did you get your night of cuddling?

Diane, have a friend who just bought a treadmill for that very reason, all the PS would do is let her walk.  Zumba is still on that list of new exercise techniques that I want to try. 

Kari, picturing getting the black dog out and beating the pillow.  Cracked me up, that is so true

Deanna, thanks for the encouragement.  Are you having a Super Bowl party? 

Harley, know that feeling, get up from the computer and moan and groan as you get your legs and back used to the idea of sitting up straight and walking.

Spring, woke up early today.  DH woke up an hour later and asked what you doin?  Told him, just laying here enjoying the fact that I don't have to get up right away.  Can't say that tomorrow.  I usually have some work to do on weekends but don't mind working from home.  Have to go in tomorrow.  I HATE going in on Sundays.  At least it will only be part of the day.  The only thing I hate worse than going in on Sundays is having to be there on Sunday nights. 

Vivre, I'm really not up to traveling yet, but maybe next year?  I think a website is an awesome idea.  There is a 6 month wait right now to see one of the docs in our system who does integrative health.  Now, IMHO that means they simply have not hired enough docs to do integrative medicine. 

Heh guys, got talking to a woman this week who is a personal trainer.  She was a college athlete and loves exercise and training and made it into a career.  Had a lot of fun talking to her about her philosophy, how she likes her job etc.  She told me that you can burn 200 calories a day just by making sure you sit up straight and use good posture.  Said your back muscles will work hard enough to burn 200 calories a day!  That thought has kept me sitting up more straight.  Figure if its true yipee, even if its not, better posture is always a good idea. 

kfinnigan

Just sat up straight, thanks kmmd!!  and girl, you work A LOT!!!!!!!!

Vivre, pm'd you.

BIG welcome to Jo Anne!!  glad you found us and sorry to hear about your bad reaction to Zometa.  Are they going to try something else??  hugs

Yesterday took the day off from exercise.  Also had a lunch date with DH and we went to a Chinese New Year inspired party at our old 'hood'.  It was great seeing old friends/neighbors.  Luckily it was right after work til 8pm, cause this girl can't stay up partyin all night!  haha

ok ok,  changing my clothes...treadmill here I come! 

Who dat!!  doing the up and down move and chanting....

And since Vivre brought it up and I haven't posted one in awhile..

"Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by."

sobx

Hey everyone and welcome Jo Ann. For the past 2 days (thurs/Fri) I did the tortue machine for 20 minutes, then arm and shoulder exercises, inner/outer thighs and stretching. On friday night I helped a friend put a cabinet together and then drove home in pouring rain and wind. That was a rough short drive. I also walked the Dd twice each day and getting ready for the 2nd walk now for Sat. Also went to a 9 year olds b'bal game. that was fun! So onward to work this evening and off on Sunday. F'ball game - go Saints!! Going to be cold in NC this week so Harley don't hibernate! Spring hope you aren't getting bad weather. NE buckled down for the snow. How is it out west this week? Everyone keep moving!

Harley44

Joy...

It is gonna be COLD... So Don't hibernate??  Sorry but I am GONNA Hibernate!!  I can't stand the COLD!!

We were talking to some friends in Florida and they invited us down in March, but I wanna go NOW!  It is just TOO COLD!!

Have a great weekend!!

Harley

Brendatrue

I hope you all are enjoying rejuvenating/relaxing weekend time. My "partying" tonight will involve music, my husband grilling, and maybe a glass of wine, then a movie (I understand about the early hours, Kari!). Nowadays, that is, with tamoxifen always in my system, I feel the effects of just one glass of wine significantly, so I have to be careful. And you can bet I will be dancing as soon as the music starts (I just can't resist, even when my body is a-c-h-i-n-g)! Harley, now there's an idea for you, when you get cold and you don't want to go outside for a workout, just put on some great music and dance!

Blondie, what about that for you, too? When I was in the depths of chemo and often did not feel like exercising, I would listen to music and dance as best I could. I felt better just moving, although sometimes I collapsed afterward (I'm not kidding). What would be a small, realistic goal for you? I know some folks who start out by watching tv and squeezing a small ball in their hands or doing ankle pumps. Perhaps if you start small you can build from there.

Kmmd, I was thinking about your comment about maintaining good posture. My balance is "iffy' these days as well, although improving, and I try a stance where I plant my feet then sway in little circles, all the time close enough to catch myself if I get off balance. I do that all the time now, and I have noticed that my quads are stronger, which is a nice reward. And let's talk a minute about whining, which I tend to call venting. (I even have a very nice mental image that goes along with that....) Everybody should have a safe place for venting, and I know this is one of mine. When I read your post, I didn't think "whiner," I thought "That woman is strong and real--she keeps on facing the challenges of life-after-cancer and she allows herself to vent about those challenges to those who care about her." I think the "real" part is important, because we are being real when we acknowledge what we are experiencing, including the losses & the grief, the accomplishments and the joy.

Deanna--Tthinking about how we are "really" doing can be disconcerting but also a great opportunity to reassess how much progress we have made. And I am the first to admit that I don't always focus on the positive or how much I have recovered, but I try. Plus, I think that for me, at least, it's important to make sure that I am living life as mindfully as possible. When someone asks me how I am "really" doing (or a version thereof), I try to notice whether I am paying useful attention to this one life on earth that I have. For me, the person who can be painfully over-analytical (did you all guess that already?), I tend to focus too much on some things and not enough on others. So, I keep trying to find balance. It will be a life project for me.

Hi to all others, including Joy, jap, pk, Spring, Diane, and anybody I forgot to mention. jap, I understand the zometa experience. When I was taking Arimidex, I received a Zometa infusion and lost a week of my life then really struggled for a couple of weeks afterward. I had to take steriods to control how my body reacted, and now zometa is listed with my other allergies. pk, I'm glad to hear that you don't just torture yourself with that tough workout program you have and that you give yourself cuddle time with your DH. Spring, good luck with the US on Monday.

I was advised yesterday that my mammo appears normal and that my ultrasound reveals a lymph node that appears large but normal. I will be working on getting insurance approval for a PET scan next, which my onc wants for my annual work-up given my history. I will hope that the PET confirms no problems, then my "dread factor" will ratchet down a notch or two. Again, I appreciate all the support you have sent my way!

ktym

Brenda, so happy to hear the good news about your tests.  And thank you for what you said, that was very sweet.  I like that, venting

Springtime

Vivre, I PM'd you too. I hope I can come and bring my DH!!! 

2 miles of walking in the Mall today! Super short hair cut! I am thinking my "chemo curls" are mostly cut off now! ha!

Spring. 

Valjean

Hi everyone! I am flying through & wanted to say hello. I am continuing to walk & doing okay with that. My problem is I have been eating too much lately, all the wrong things it seems. Need to get back on track. Don't like the #s I'm putting on!!! Ugh!

Brenda ~ Have been keeping up on the posts & was happy to see your wonderful news on your tests & "being normal". What stress we go through.

kmmd, Brenda, Deanna ~ Thank you for your thoughtful "inside motivation". Sometimes I feel like I am just going through the motions of life & living, I must remind myself "to live life", to, as my signature says that I borrowed from vivre, "Now I embrace life instead of just walking through it."

I love you all, you keep me going. Spring, Kari, Harley, Joy, Penny, & anyone I've forgotten ~ you sistas are so inspiring. Blondie & Jo Anne ~ Welcome!

{{hugs}}

ktym

Spring, I can cut off those chemo curls, but they just keep on coming back

Val, good to see you, keep on keeppin on.

Struggling to get into work today.  Just can't get excited about it.  I'm thinking restorative yoga when I get hone.  That thought will keep me moving

Harley44

Hi everyone.

My chemo curls are GONE...    I loved them!  I'm sad to see them go...

Brenda

Glad your tests were all NORMAL...  

Oh and the dancing... I used to dance, but my dh told me how silly everyone looked on the dance floor when we went to events.... so now I am SO selfconscious, that I can't dance....  (I don't think that EVERYONE looks silly, but after my dh made that observation, I did notice some pretty silly looking people out on the floor dancing...)

Hope everyone has a great day!   Anyone who is snowed in, stay inside and do some form of exercise...  dance ;-)   or do yoga, or an exercise cd... I had some tapes, but alas they are all gone...

Harley

kfinnigan

Harley, you made me think of all the times I walked into my DDs rooms through the years and I would sing and make up silly songs/dances and they would just start laughing.  I do that all the time with my DH.  I swear sometimes I think I should have been on the Carol Burnett show or some silly tv show, but alas it wasn't meant to be, so I am just a crazy mom/wife.  When my younger DD introduced me to a friend last year, she said 'ok wait til you see my mom do the snap dance'...one of those crazy dances I made up.  Glad they appreciate the silly side of me!! haha

Yesterday DH even got on the treadmill!!  woohoo!!  I did abs/weights/stretching while he was on, then I did 2 miles...then we did taxes! UGH, but they are done!! yay

Today, DH is gone til Thurs, so I need to get 'motivated', time to clean clean clean and I'm sayin no no no

Brenda, glad to hear about your tests, but keep us posted about the pet scan, and totally understand the 'dread zone' you mentioned.

Spring, can't wait to see your hair, you will have to post a pic on FB!!  My hair is getting way long, but I have been instructed by older DD, I cannot cut/color it yet,  She made me an appt. on March 24 for a cut/color with her gal, so I will look presentable at her wedding!  works for me, I will just have to keep it clipped up or something til then.  My hair is so feathery and the back and ends are still curly, but those will most likely get clipped off.

Big hey hey hey to all!

Super Bowl Sunday, don't eat too much!!

Harley44

Ok... Spring and Kari... I'm on FB... If you want to look me up, PM me and I'll give you my info... I hope that you aren't already my 'friends', and I don't recognize you....

HUGS
Harley

Brendatrue

I forgot to confess yesterday when I posted that I TOTALLY enjoyed the extra sleep on Friday morning and that I did not feel a bit guilty when I did not work out that morning or that evening. I did work out for an hour yesterday morning, and an hour this morning, so next I will be taking a nice Sunday afternoon nap.

And speaking of hair, I have my first official hairstyle after losing my hair back in March. I had a few ends snipped in December then went through a very unappealing shaggy stage before feeling the reward last Friday and getting a real cut/style. I am definitely keeping it short now; this last year of cancerhell has aged me and I like the "lift" of a shorter style. My hair also is a brown rather than auburn color now, with more gray, and some weird wavy patterns (always had thin, straight, fine hair in the past).I guess that is the closest I will ever get to having curls.

sobx

Heading to a super bowl party at church. If it gets bad they might throw me out! Have to walk the Dd first. Right now she has her head in my lap. Have a weird schdule this week but will exercise. Off today, Tuesday, Thursday. And working nights the other days. bet on the Saints. If I win a friend has to walk an extra hour at Relay for Life - I lose I have to put the Colts wave on my FB. I can only imagine the food that is being served at the party. I know the pig was cooking during church. Have a great evening and the start of another week.  Looks like the West and the East got hit this weekend. And the East is getting it again on Tuesday. Hugs to all. Ainm - where are you?

enjoylife

Hi Ladies I was wondering if you could explain what this topic covers is it motavation about working out I am 18 months out of chemo hair might be coming back slowly but hopefully surely and I have Lymphedema so I have to watch all my salt intake. I do weights for my arms for this and was wondering if you guys would like another member its too cold to walk outside yet but its coming. I am going to see about maybe eating the nutrisystem  diet for diabetics because it has low Sodom and I thought it might encourage me to loose the chemo weight since chemo i have at least 15 to 20 to get rid of. Let me know what your all about I have had my PS last summer got a in-plant put in and this Summer I should get a nipple and I am single and a young 58 year old who would love her life back gave enough to cancer for now on its about me and not it..

Maura

Harley44

Maura

Welcome!  Yes, this thread is about being motivated to exercise...  lately though, it has been just TOO COLD for me to go outside and walk or run, so I've been forced to use our dreaded elliptical torture machine.  I did 30 minutes on it today....   UGH!

Good Luck... It seems to help us to stay motivated to get some exercise when we know we have to answer to our sisters here on this thread!! 

Harley

ktym

Maura,

So happy to see you here.  Yep, its about motivation to work out.  Doesn't matter what exercise you do, just matters that you do it