March 2009 Rads Group?

sgrimes

okay, just checking to see if i did everything right!

jessee54

Hey, Martha, Renee, Everyone!

Well, I have my simulation and consult on Thursday. I finished chemo on Feb 6, and hope to start rads next week. But I don't have a date yet. I go for 30 sessions, so hopefully will be finished on Good Friday (how appropriate).

My onc told me that I had to wait about a month after the last chemo tx before starting rads, because the Taxol can interfere with the radiation, and affect your heart and lungs .

My fingers and toes are still burning and numb, and I still have lots of fatigue, and no hair growth yet, and watery eyes and scarce eyebrows, etc.....

But we''re finally almost done w/treatment, yay!

Judy 

Anonymous

Tom and I are listening to soothing music and I just took a warm shower to relax. Tomorrow will be an early morning as the hospital is 90 miles away. I hope that the drain insertion procedure goes smoothly, but beyond that, that the pesky drain does its work and that soon I can be going back to get it out.

Depending on where they place it, my wedding gown may hide it, if it is still in by March 28. But it would really put a cramp in our honeymoon: no swimming, no jacuzzi.

I have a good man by my side, and we will make the best of it. He has made it plain that my health comes first, and we are in this for keeps!

Bette 

Brenny

Whoever has already gone for their simulation, can you post a bit about what is to be expected?  What did you wear - did you have to change into a hospital gown?  And what are they saying we should wear each visit?  I go for my simulation on Friday...and of course, all my friends and family are saying this will be a walk in the park after surgery and chemo....however, as I read Jan/Feb group experiences, there seem to be a whole lot of people for whom it is NOT a walk in the park....oh, yes, now I remember that "positive attitude" lecture -- and I am confident THAT will keep my skin from blistering......NOT!!!

Thx

TorchSong

Hi Brenny-- I had my simulation about a month ago. It's just like a CT scan. I put on a gown (waist up, kept my jeans on), and lay in the scanner for about 45 minutes while they did their thing. The only uncomfortable part was holding my arm in the form (to keep it away from the breat); it got stiff. I did get tattoos (very tiny, I keep forgetting where they are).

I had the radiation class today and they said it would be hospital gowns for breast radiation. They said wear something comfortable for the appointments, since you have to lie still. 

I don't know, Brenny, I have to agree with the family on this. I know my chemo has been relatively easy compared to what some people have gone through, so maybe I shouldn't comment, but the steriod emotions, the itches, the hair loss, the drppy nose, the dehydration, the mouth sores, the thrush, the constipation....need I go on? With radiation, it's still going to be tough--tired and the possiblity of blsters and sore skin. But it still sounds a better deal to me.

I'm almost ashamed to say I've felt jealous of my partner and a friend who both had lumpectomies and radiation--no chemo at all. Even though it was "easy" for me, I would rather do almost anything than chemo again.

I know everyone's  journey and experience is different--just my opinion...

And I was told in the class today that the deoderant doesn't matter--most of them are made without the aluminum chloride now anyway. The tech who was leading the class said to just use whatever we have been using on our body, so if something changes, they know it was the radiation and not a new lotion. Made sense to me!

Hugs to all!

martha

dianef

Bette--sorry to hear about the delay.  That sucks!   

I have my dry run tomorrow and start tx on Monday.  

XO

Diane

sgrimes

hello all - had 2nd rad today - so far it is all going smoothly.  i have the first slot of the day, at 7:45, so i can get to work as close to on time as possible.  well, today i got there at 7:30, and they brought me on back then!  i was out the door at 7:45, and on time for work!  so that is awesome.  they are super nice there, but it is an older facility - i went to a brand new cancer center for chemo, so this place seems very dated.  i am hoping the equipment is modern enough to do the job well.  i feel a little tightness, maybe, on the left side.  i'm sure it's too early to really notice anything, but it does seem a little different.  still have a miserable cold!

hope everyone is doing well!

Juli50

I met my radiologist today... young and nice. I go back tomorrow at 4 pm (1 hr appt), then CT scan on Friday, and a diagonostic mammo on my right lumptomied boob on Wednesday. The facility is getting a brand new machine the beginning of April, so I will have to go to another city for a week while they swap out machines. The boosts will also be at the other facility.

CindaD

Hi Ladies, I'm jumping on this train. Finished chemo 4TC on 2/12, starting rads 3/09.  Can't wait to get started so that I can get finished!  I just feel drained and am ready to get my mojo back. Cancer Sucks and this winter Sucks. Come on Spring!   I'm thinking rads is going to be a walk in the park compared to chemo.  I'm hoping to miss less of work with this phase.

BetteLou I hope your drain gets pulled before your wedding, sending good thoughts your way!

Have a good day ladies

Anonymous

Off to the medical oncologist today for a checkup. Wonder what they will think that I have a drain over a month after surgery. They had wanted me to start rads ASAP, due to the aggressive nature of my tumor as shown by the path report. Oh, well, I tried.

There are so many details to getting married! I feel overwhelmed by it all today. I did have a nice long chat with Tom on the phone, and that helped!

Bette 

towdoe

Hi Ladies! I just registered tonight. I had my simulation today & will start rad 3/16. Was anyone else shocked by all the markings???? I thought that if i got the tatoos, I wouldn't have to have all of that. I look like my grandchildren got ahold of me with red & blue magic markers!

mricha02

I counted up 18 of us on the March 2009 rads board.  I'll be 5 weeks/5 days a week.  Have red marks and go back 3/3 for final preparation.  I do fine when I am not at an appointment.  Each new phase, I have a meltdown.  For the mastectomy,  kept my face covered with the bedsheet for 4 hours while I waited in preop. With the chemo people I did okay.  With the radiologist/CAT scan people yesterday, not too good.  They wanted to take a PICTURE of me in that room and I was not prepared and I closed my eyes for the picture. I am so unable to be civil and matter of fact in these appointments and get very defensive/uncomfortable/uneasy.  When the first person to walk in the exam room is an intern, I don't like it and have a reaction.  When I am 'cornered' like this in an appointment I am 'in touch' with NOT LIKING cancer and I do not feel FRIENDLY.  Today I'm better.  An absolute feeling of no control.

4thefather

I had my simulation yesterday and they just called me to schedule the treatments. I start on March 4th. They said 28-30 treatments. I am struggling with this. I know I will be fine, but my emotions are all over the place. It has been a long road already. Diagnosed May 16th, right mastectomy on June 3rd. Port a few weeks later and chemo only a few days after that. I finished chemo (16 treatments) on Nov 16th. Then I had reconstructive on Dec 16th and developed a staph infection a few weeks later and was on heavy IV antibiotics for 4-1/2 weeks. Now I going to be starting radiation. It has all just been so much. I want my life back!!!!

Cathie

jessee54

Hi Friends,

mricha02, CindaD, 4thefather - I so hear you about the attitudes. I had my consult/simulation on Thursday, and after being out of chemo for 3 weeks it just brought everything right back, all the emotions and crappy feelings, when I'm trying to be in "healing" mode and get on with my life. I start on Friday, March 6.  The main technician was a young, obese guy, who was the one that did the tattooing and picture taking...so embarrassing!!  I mean he was very nice, and seemed knowledgeable, but still, lying there nude from the waist up while he did his thing and took pictures was NOT a comfortable scenario. I also found out I had to do 33 rads, not 30 as previously told, so it runs into April school vacation. I had hoped to be done before then, and was planning on going away...well, they said the last 8 treatments are boosters, so they may be able to postpone those,.

The tattooing really hurt. They put a pinpoint in the center, and a cross shape on each side on my rib cage,. OUCH!  They are also worried because when I lie down, the way my boobs lie, apparently there is skin against skin, which they said would create burning. So there was a lot of manipulating with gauze, etc, which didn't work, so they said they'd try to make the best of it. HMMMmmm. That did not set well with me.  They also said that with large breasts like mine there is a greater possibility of skin problems. I'm NOT looking forward to this.

My "end of chemo" party never happened, at first due to my fatigue, then un-cooperative weather. So I'm just going to host Easter dinner for my family, at least I'll be almost done with rads by then, and maybe even have some eyebrows. More reason to celebrate.

And yes, I am chomping at the bit for warm weather and SPRING!!!!

Hugs to all.

Judy 

ADONALDSR

Hi I am new to this so please bear with me.

I start radiation on 3/3.  I have to have 30 doses - not looking forward to the potential skin irratation-   I am getting married in June - was diagnosised in Dec - my fiance has been supportive but he us having a hard time dealing with htis - I notice we have been bickering alot lately ovfer samll things -- I can't stand to look at my breasts - had a lumpdectmy in January

NancySchoen

Count me on board for the March group. I have been reading the February groups posts but decided since I only started rads on 2/24 I would be more comfortable in the March group. It has been helpful to know that I am not alone in my feelings. The first day of my rad treatment I had such a headache all day and night I was so stressed. The 2nd day was a little better.  Friday I had my 4th rad and I actually did not have a headache. It is nice to have the weekend as a break though.

As I read some of the posts I realize how lucky I am to be at a good cancer center. However, I must say that I started out somewhere else first and after a horrible experience I decided to look for another surgeon and a new cancer center. I needed people around me that could show compassion for what I was going through.

 If you are unhappy or not being treated the way you feel you should be do some research to see if there is anywhere else you can go for treatment. It is never too late to take charge of your care. I am so much happier and that has a lot to do with healing. Or tell the person in charge at the center. We must feel comfortable with how we are being treated.

 I find that journalling helps me. When people say to me " you are so lucky you only have stage one  breast cancer". I  am polite to them and reply  " I know how blessed I am that they found the cancer early." However , I can go home and tell my journal how I really feel that it SUCKS to have breast cancer and I DO NOT feel LUCKY at all as no one is LUCKY to have breast cancer.

Thanks for letting me join your group.

karen43

I am new also. I started rads 2/24, so I have 4 of 30 down already. So far, so good. I was dx with Accb of the L breast in late Nov. after lumpectomy in Dec. found out had DCIS too in outer edges of the tumor. My margins were very close so had another lumpectomy in Jan. with sentinel node removed which was all clear except for some atypical ductal hyperplasia which I'm hoping the rads will take care of. My husband has been being a jerk too. My tx are at 4 pm and drive time is 2 hrs so I leave work at 3 and get home late (I also have PT 3x wk). Today all he did was rant about the housework that needed done (dishes/laundry). I just wanted to leave but feel so trapped.

NancySchoen

 To ADonaldsr.... I was diagnosed in December also. I had the lumpectomy on Dec 12 and then ended up back in the hospital on the 20th of December with cellulitis and an abcess in my breast I was very sick. I had the sentinel lymph node surgery on January 29th and started my radiation on 2/24. So we seem to be on about the same time schedule.

 As I read your comment about your fiance I wondered if you might investigate to see if there is a support group at your cancer center for husbands, fiances, family members. I know I joined Gilda's Club and they have groups that meet so family's can discuss their feelings about breast cancer.

I know that my husband has been supportive of me but initially when I had my lumpectomy the first thing he said was " I am so glad you do not have cancer any more." In side I was thinking then why do I still have to have another surgery? Why do I have to have radiation and take medication for the next five years. Finally I told him how I felt and he did not understand. I said I will always be a cancer surviver and that for the rest of my life I will have this tiny thought in the back of my mind will it come back.  I feel as you do every time I look at my breast it is so ugly. Hopefully that feeling will go away some day. I know I found myself being very irritable and actually quite ugly to my husband a few times. It was actually due to stress and the medications. I do remember one day he said" if you were like this all the time we would not be married".  We have never had a fight much less for him to say something like that to me. That was when I realized we were both stressed but dealing with it in different ways. After having this discussion with the onclogist she told us that each of us viewed the cancer in a different way and that neither of us was wrong. Every one deals with stress differently. That is probably what is happening with you and your fiance. It is stressful to plan a wedding much less deal with cancer.

NancySchoen

Karen.... You and I are on the same rad schedule.

As for housework you need to have a  nice quiet talk with your husband after a nice dinner. Here is what I did I told him you have two choices either you help me with the following things: vaccuuming, clean bathrooms etc. all the hardest things. Or we get a cleaner. I only have so much energy right now and I need to save it for the important things. Life has been fine at our house as my husband now cleans. It is not as clean as I would like it but after everything that has happened in the last few months I really do not care any more it is the least of our worries. Do not let him intimidate you into guilt. You have more than enough stress right now dealing with your breast cancer. You need to spend your energy on healing.

Next time he rants quietly ignore him and go to your bathroom and take a nice bubble bath. It is best to not fuel the fire. But definitely do not feel any guilt about the laundry and the dishes.

Just some ideas I thought might help you right now.

karen43

Thanks Nancy! I know you are right. He is just not that kind of guy. He was raised that the woman does it all. If I'm not cooking/cleaning it's like I'm not expressing my love to him or something. It's pretty much the same old thing for us but the bc makes it harder for me to deal with it now. I just feel so overwhelmed & at times he seems so angry at me. It makes me feel guilty, even though I know I shouldn't. My oldest daughter has been such a support for me lately, she's 21. Yesterday she got me a book at the library "What Helped Get Me Through - Cancer Survivors Share Wisdom and Hope". I stayed up reading it last night and it just depressed me more. So many quotes talking about how husbands were so supportive/caring. Mine came to one appt. with me and was there for the 1st surgery (but was on his cell most of the time talking to his work buddies). For my 2nd surgery I told him not to bother.

karen43

Nancy, since we are on exactly the same rad schedule, are you having any symptoms? I have been alittle tight/itchy with periodic stabbing pains today.

NancySchoen

Karen... I noticed the first day that my breast was very hot. Although the radiologist the next day said "oh no it could not be". Yes, my breast has been itchy and it does feel tighter. However I do not have the pain you are having. Did your radiologist tell you not to stand under the shower facing the water but turn your back to the water. I have a hand held so I am able to take it down and rinse easier in that area. I am using Dove soap for sensitive skin with no perfumes etc.  I apply the soap with my hand so there is no irritation from a wash cloth. I also am using tepid water not too hot or too cold. Maybe these things would help. My problem is odor I think I smell so bad on that side. I went and got Cornstarch baby powder but when I got it home I realized it had fragrance and something else in it so I did not think I should use it. Now I am going to see about  mixing cornstarch and baking soda. My center does not want us to put anything on the breast area except the cornstarch, no lotions etc.

karen43

Mine felt hot the first day too. I didn't say anything about it though. I just figured it was all in my head. I am having b.o. on that side too. I am not use to that either. I have always worn deodorant/perfumes but am not doing that on that side now. I do apply perfume to my clothes though. I am using the lotion the rad center gave me (it's aloe mostly) when I get home from treatments. I do all the other things you mentioned except the soap. I just use my shampoo/creme rinse and nothing else when showering. I asked the rad tech at my 1st tx how soon I should apply the lotion and she said anytime just not 2 hrs before. She said it wouldn't prevent me from having a reaction anyway. I think the main thing right now is the not shaving. I wonder when will the hair fall out?

Jordianna

sgrimes--I started tamox at the same time that I started radiation.  My medical oncologist told me to start taking it.  My rad onc didn't see a problem with it.  I'm now finished with radiation and two months into tamox.  I didn't have any major issues with rads other than a tender breast and only notice some night sweats from the tamox.

I was anxious to start the tamox as soon as I could since my med onc told me that because of my type of cancer and tumor that was where I would get the most benefit. 

Bottom line, you have to do what is right for you.

Jordan

NancySchoen

Karen... I would think losing the hair  will happen toward the end of treatment. Has your oncologist recommended anything for after radiation? I will take Arimidex for 5 years. Nancy

dianef

Welcome Karen & Nancy---I start my tx tomorrow.  33 total.  I am a little anxious as well.  Hopefully after the first it won't be so bad. 

I agree with Nancy about the house work and I told my husband the same.  Either help me out or I will hire a house keeper.  Good luck to all you ladies starting your rads.

Jessee, when do you get your permanent tattoos.  Sorry it hurt...not looking forward to that.  What kind of bra are you all wearing.  My Rad nurse told me to wear a camisole during treatment.  Has anyone else been told that?

Diane

Anonymous

Here's a link regarding myths about radiation found here on BC.org and a few other sites:

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/radiation/myths.jsp

http://www.advocatehealth.com/system/info/library/articles/cancercare/radiat.html 

Apparently, you would only lose your hair on your head if you were having rads to your head....and my boob isn't attached to my head, so I'm not anticipating any hair loss at all!

Juli50

My tattoos only hurt for a second. The neuropathy pain in my feet is so much worse. I've been laid up in bed all weekend with Bronchitis. I am out of breath if I walk at all. At least it's giving my feet some rest.

NancySchoen

The prettiest mess... thanks for the sites. Sorry I was thinking hair under my arm. I think sometimes this bc gives me a foggy brain too.

Diane... I found a wonderful bra at JC Penny a playtex number 4159.  I love it because it is all cotton with no latex. I do not even feel like I have a bra on. I am a 44 c so for me it is harder to find a camisole. When I go for rad tx I wear a comfy warm up suit. I just take my top and bra off and put on the gown. I lay on the table and try to think of a happy place. I close my eyes and It seems to go by very fast that way. I was very anxious for my first tx too. It finally got better by the end of the week. So tomorrow will be number 5 for me. Good luck tomorrow it will get better after the first one.  Nancy

thegoodfight

hi everyone,

I haven't posted for quite awhile, but I have been faithfully reading and keeping up.  I started my rads the last week of January, so with 35 sessions (last 7 will be boosts) I have taken up residency in the January, February and March groups.

Here's an overview of what is going on with me and what topicals I use and what I wear.   Maybe this will help some of you.

Tomorrow is tx # 25 for me, so after tomorrow I will be on the ten to go countdown.  Boosts will start on Friday and my date of completion (hopefully) is March 16th.  So far I am doing fairly well.  This last week my breast got very red and also near my SNB scar.  But so far the skin is holding up.  I put on 100% aloe immediately after tx while getting dressed.  I do that again in the late afternoon,  and then at bedtime I do a heavy coating of aquaphor.  For me this regimen is working.

I went to a sports bra from day one and have worn a camisole if I am going out and wearing a top that the thick straps of the sports bra would show.  I am also large breasted  (42DD) and so far I have not had major problems.  I did try taking the wire out of one of my regular bras and wore that once for a few hours during the first few weeks, but still found it irritating.  The PA at the rad onc office said I could continue to wear my regular bra, use my regular deoderant, and whatever soap I was using.  I decided from day one that I would rather give myself the best chance I could not to have issues.   So, I switched to Dove, use Tom's deoderant if I use anything, and went to sports bras from the beginning. 

For those of you starting and feeling very nervous, that is normal.  I was even worried about just having to go somewhere at the same time every single day. I am retired,so it is a long time since I have had a daily committment.   I am here to tell you that like anything else it becomes a routine, and I cannot believe that I am finished five out of my seven weeks tomorrow.  It really has gone by quickly and now I wonder what I am going to do in two weeks when this part of treatment is done.  I did my chemo October thru January, so at the end of rads it will be almost six months of active treatment.  So now another adjustment.

Somehow we do adjust and manage each step as we take it.  Remember we are so much stronger than we ever thought.  Yes, I would have liked to have gone on without being tested, but I am pleased at how well I have done with "pop quiz".  

I won't go into it right now, but I have a ton of gratitude as a result of this monster we call bc.  I know many of you can relate.  Maybe we should start a gratitude thread and share those thoughts.  Someone once told me, when you are handed too many lemons, make some lemonade.   Pretty good advice.

I also could share tons about husbands and family, but it is midnight and I am tired so I will leave that for another day. 

I wish you all a good week, and remember to take it one day at a time.    I have found that most of the time the anticipation is always worse than the actual event.

Stay strong.................lots of hugs.

Caren