Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

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  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited March 2017

    Jackie, are you unemployed since your patient passed?

    It has been stormy here off and on since the wee hours. Dh and I went to the gym, managing to get there and back without a fender bender. People don't seem to slow down whatever the conditions.

    I'm glad I didn't wash my car 🚗 yesterday

    Now for a shower and then a trip to the nursing home. Bingo is at 2 pm but my mother will be getting antsy by 1 pm. The rain should be over by the time I return home, usually about 4. She gets into bed after bingo and rests and watches tv.

    Happy Thursday to all.

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  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2017

    Yes, for now I am jobless. I have a person who would use me maybe, but so far all his time is covered, but I'm not in a hurry as I soon have some yearly check-ups coming and if I can be patient I can make sure they all get done without having to be so careful about arranging appts. At the same time, my former employer ( since I have no issue at all staying at their house ) may want me to come to take care of the dogs while they go on a couple of trips -- so there is work I could do, but I'm enjoying taking it a bit easy while doing things at home that just didn't seem to work out too well when I was working all the time.

    It seems in many ways I have the best of both worlds. I do need to do some work, but it does not have to full time anymore -- I'm no longer sure I could even manage full time unless it was periods of short duration, and I can have some time off if I'm careful with finances ( not too many treats for myself ) and not too extravagant with the grocery budget -- eating out less, etc.

    I'm not washing my car either. The rest of this week at least will have rain off and on and the beginning of next week. If we are not having sun ( and we aren't today for sure ) my car isn't so obviously dirty. The color on it is called Midnight Blue and the shade tends to be a nice blue but not shiny enough ( I say it is a dusky blue ) to show a lot of dirt until you are right on top of it. So -- going down the road it can look much cleaner than it is. What often happens here is the road get holes where water stands and some can't be avoided -- then real mud splashes up and leaves itself plastered on the side of the car. I'm careful but still manage to get a little. I sometimes ( though it is a bit annoying too ) watch our neighbors go lickety-split down the road seemingly oblivious to dust and puddles ( grr when I'm coming along with a freshly-washed car ) and think about the huge difference in how people perceive their surroundings. They don't care at all about mud and dust on the car and I look on it as a horror to pay for a car-wash only to have my neighbor RUIN my wash-job. Fortunately, other than minor things like that I really adore these neighbors -- they are really GOOD people which can be hard to find sometimes and you are lucky if they are your neighbors. So, I just grit my teeth a bit knowing their virtues way out weigh their faults. They, and they have taught their kids the same thing ( when they talk to me ) call me Ms. Jackie. Their young son is one of the kindest most courteous little boys I think I've met in a long, long time.

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  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited March 2017

    Really stormy here. The contractor was able to demolish my front porch, pour the footings, erect a new support, and cut the stringers & risers yesterday; but this morning all he could do was haul away the debris…as well as the debris from the last porch-rebuild (concrete stairs/wrought-iron rails gave way to wood that matched the style & vintage of our house) 27 yrs. ago, which our then-contractor stashed in the crawl space! Amazing we don’t have termite or carpenter ants! We didn’t flood, thank heavens—but it was pretty bad in the far SW ‘burbs (Orland Park, especially) and Indiana. No twisters, whew! Hope there’ll be enough clear weather tomorrow to install the stringers and maybe the risers, and finish the construction phase, including decking, on Saturday. (Will need at least 4 dry days in a row to stain &/or paint).

    Good weight-and-rowing workout today, and >1/2 mi. walk tonight. Feeling virtuous (okay, I did eat one mini-blini at dinner). Gonna soak in a warm juniper-oil tub tonight and hope my back isn’t too stiff in the morning (trainer warned me it might be, and that I should stretch over the next few days whether or not I work out).

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  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2017

    The keys to growth are available to us the day we are born. They include openness, sensitivity, awareness, insight, intuition, wonder, imagination, curiosity, empathy, compassion, and creativity.These keys will unlock the doors to a rich life.What I am at ninety or what you are at your age, depends upon how we use those keys. - Wilferd A. Peterson

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  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2017

    Sandy, your making me want to see a picture of your house -- it sounds like it is going to so very nice going back to what was original. Chevy has given us pictures of hers to admire. I have put in one or two of mine from time to time. Mine though is just what was once a mobile home with a house built around it -- then the mobile home interior removed. There is one hallway which wasn't actually changed and that is where the old mobile home heater was ( we and the man who put the new one in, think ) and after the build/remodel it became a linen closet. Most of the houses in this area are old club houses built after the pretty big man-made drinking water lake was dug.

    I think I have mentioned before that at the time I think for the yr. you paid a lease of about $25.00. So you could build a clubhouse but it had to be if it had a bathroom inside -- no kitchen. It is had a kitchen, no bathroom inside -- had to have an old outdoor facility. A number of yrs. later of course, the leases went up in price and you could have the privilege of living yr. round at the lake. Still, for a number of yrs. the lease rates were not so bad -- in the area of fairly cheap taxes, but it was a big convoluted issue -- getting the lease monies sometimes and those with a lease sometimes renting to others so it wasn't always known just who was actually availing themselves of the joys of the lake. Then some lease sites weren't used too much so that weeds, rodents and other problems abounded -- break-ins in some of the more secluded places where drugs and alcohol were a factor.

    We at last were able to buy the leases and help the city have less headaches. In truth --- I now think they may have some regrets about the funds they could have at their disposal, but it is too late for that. Our lease here had gone up to $500.00 by the time we purchased our 2 acres and there is a lot more land around us ( we don't mow or clean ) but if we wanted to we could use it, but there are ravines there where water pours into the lake when it rains. They are pretty deep on one side -- lots of water rushing down to the lake. I don't think we will have rain today but it could be gray and dreary a good part of the day if not all of it. Not my cup of tea for sure.

    Hope you are all going to have a fantastic day.

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  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited March 2017

    They’re going great guns on the porch—stairs finished, most of the decking down. Then boarding over the removed inside stucco surface which used to have huge holes. Usable tonight! (Will have to wait till later in spring for some consecutive dry days to stain, but since it’s pressure-treated lumber it’ll be okay “naked” for a while).

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  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited March 2017

    Jackie, interesting history of your property. Can you see the lake from your deck? Could you have a dock for a boat?

    Sandy, your porch renovation sounds very nice.

    I meant to paint our master bathroom during the "at home" months but I haven't done it.

    I finally got a pedicure today so I have colorful toenails, a coral color. I also bought my birthday present, two rings that were a bargain. Each one was $124 starting price and I got both of them for $80. I wanted an interesting band ring for my wedding ring finger. Last summer I lost my gold band with diamonds and didn't want another expensive band. Now I have two that I don't have to worry about losing.

    Today was a nice day without a/c





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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited April 2017

    My grandson went to his Jr. prom tonight.....this is a picture of him with his sister.......we did not see his date......it poured all day into the evening, so there was no hanging around from place to place.......then again I was only ;interested ;in Stephen.image

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited April 2017

    This will make you laugh.....my daughter and her husband going to the Bon Jovi concert tonight..........Rain, Rain go away....LOL...check them out.......LMAO......this is to get them from the parking lot to the Wells Fargo Center.......hahahahahaimage

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited April 2017

    Funnier yet.....my son-in-law stopped at the $1.00 store to pick up Panchos on his way home from work......now blue was what my daughter go...still pathetic.....but check out the ones he bought and tried when he got home......I told him he looks like a "CONDOM".image

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited April 2017

    Miss Ducky! Haaaaaaaaah! Love your pictures... Your SIL's poncho... looks like an "attempt" at keeping the rain off...

    Yes... raining & drizzle all yesterday, and today it looks like. The temp is 34 degrees! No sign of "spring" around here....

    And your Grand-kids look like MODELS!!! I love that house.... the hard-wood floors & furnishings... Looks so pretty!

    I'm going to maybe try & "organize" my kitchen cupboards today......... It's just that I think I will use every last cup, plate, glass that I have! I don't use them, but they are "cute" so I hang onto them! And buy more! But my Daughter that lives close, is doing that... she is "cleaning out the stuff she never uses.".... So I'm going to try it...

    I can put it all out in our "spare" garage, then if I haven't run whimpering back out to the garage to FIND something, I can then take it all up to the "Treasure Trunk" place! I could clean out THOSE shelves first, but it's too cold out... But I WILL get rid of stuff! Honest! Hah!

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited April 2017

    And I am sooooo short, that I can't reach anything on the top shelves anyway! . Actually mine aren't messy, just too much junk in there!

    I was going to post a picture from Google Images, but MAN !!!! Those cupboards were REALLY a mess... Looks like something out of "hoarders".... I have to get busy....



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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited April 2017

    Chevy this is his house from the outside......image

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  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited April 2017

    When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are
    about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is
    knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something
    solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.
    image
    Barbara J. Winter

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  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited April 2017

    Ducky, you finally came -- and with such great pictures. You know, I could look at anyone's pictures and feel fantastic. Usually people who let you take pictures ( usually ) are enjoying themselves in some way, or want to say hello through a picture -- so for me I find it a great joy to look at pictures. Even if I don't know the people I tend to imagine them as having fun. Your pictures of family are great and fun. That house is stunning. Way too big, but stunning. You have to forgive me though. I'm almost to the point of thinking my house is too big ( for us ) and it is in fact fairly small at 1,545 sq. feet. The old house was actually designed better at 1200 sq. and seemed far larger than this one -- sigh !!!!

    Carol, we can see the lake from our deck but as the lake has coves --- we don't actually have lake directly behind our house Our neighbors ( they have a dock ) have always been very gracious ( even the one couple who actually didn't like us, before the ones who are there now ) about telling us to come over to their dock anytime we feel like it. Since we don't fish, we go over now and then, but it is infrequent. There are bald eagles and we go now and then to try and see them, and at one time we had a huge number of pelicans show up -- but our lake was quite shallow in places then due to a major drought. I'm sure they got a whole lot of our fish. They don't come otherwise. All kinds of hawks and owls and the ( we call them big birds ) birds that are very tall and feed at the edges of the lake -- they are Blue Herons -- so it is nice now and then to stroll down and just have a look around.

    I'm looking for an enjoyable day as we will have sun today -- a lot more rain in the forecast, but missing us today. I'm thrilled. I don't mind rain so much but it is the grayness that comes along with it that is hard for me to take. I have to try and do what Chevy is doing -- but I need to do it all over my house.

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited April 2017

    imageimageimageIllinois....believe it or not when you are inside the house doesn't seem that big.....but it is amazing...the back is even more gorgeous then the front...I am a lover of big homes.I always.......even after moving from ny last place to the one I am in now,.........this one is 1,700 Sq feet, but it is one floor......it was fixer upper and was gutted totally inside......it is a straight through now and the only one one the block like that......I was told "go into an apt...but no way was I doing that.........I overfixed this one, but did not want to wake up each morning and look at something and say "damn I hate this, or hate that".......I have just put shutters in, and at 23 days away from age 82.........why........just because I wanted them.....and love them....I am now waiting for the entire front to be done......I already did the back....well my son did....it was a xmas present......although it didn't start that way......it was a surpise when he handed me the paid bill...........my other son is giving me the entire front as my xmas present now......they should be in next week.....I love them.....this is the back of the house......and believe it really makes the house warmer.....

    This is the outside of the front.imageimage

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited April 2017

    I might have just bored you all to death.....sorry if I did......but Illinois wanted to tell you also 2 of my grandsons live in Chicago..one is home this weekend...he just left my house...he is very close to downtown Chicago.....and the other is also.....one owns a townhome, the other a Condo....bot gorgeous. Visited them 3 times so far....I hate to fly...but for them I did.....first time......they love Chicago...

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  • bonnets
    bonnets Member Posts: 769
    edited April 2017

    I grew up in Chicago, but where I lived has changed sooooo much, police warned us not to go there, when we last visited!

    Your house is really cute. Our little log home is only 1500 sq ft, but we love it.!


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  • sandra4611
    sandra4611 Member Posts: 2,913
    edited April 2017

    What a fun day for pictures! I've enjoyed seeing each and every one, from the handsome prom-bound grandson, to the crazy rain-proof folks, to the lovely house pictures. I have one to share. It's from last night. We FINALLY were able to dance!

    image Mike was so excited to "dress up" since he's spent the last year in loose fitting lounge clothes. The edema in his legs and feet has gone down enough for him to get some regular shoes on. Everything is too big for him. The jacket hangs off his shoulders, but it makes him look like he has gained more weight than he actually has. His hair is growing back. This was the first time he's left the house without a hat! His hair is barely able to be combed on the sides and back. Not much on top yet. All his thick, white curly hair has been replaced by straight, baby-fine dark hair as a result of the bone marrow transplant. He has his sister's hair now. (Perfectly normal. His DNA shows he is a woman now too. As long as he wears gloves, he could get away with robbing a bank if they used DNA to identify him. It also changes your blood type, although Mike and his sister Lisa have the same one so no changes needed.) We stayed at the dance about two hours, sitting half the time to visit with friends who joined us. I was astounded as the energy Mike had. We wouldn't have won any dancing trophies last night, but we shuffled around the floor just fine. We even walzed!!! That was my big dream, to waltz with my husband again. They played a slow one, Edelweiss, so we danced while tears of joy ran down my face.

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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited April 2017

    Sandra - that's got me crying just reading your wonderful adventure. Kuddos girl for taking such good care of that man.

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  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited April 2017

    Sandra, the picture says it all. How wonderful! Mike, welcome back!

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited April 2017

    OMG Sandra! What a beautiful story! It's like a "happy beginning" to all that you two have been through! Congratulations!!!

    I danced with my little Grandma once, when she was in Assisted Living.... A piano player was there, and she started playing the Tennessee Waltz.... And I asked Grandma if she wanted to dance.... I helped her up, and we did!!! it was the sweetest thing.... and I cried too...

    Ducky, I LOVE your pictures! And your pretty little house! Don't you just love it??? We make them the way we want them..... I'm still working around the yards and gardens here.... except not today...Hah! The weather is just cold & rainy....

    Our little home was built in 1886... a Victorian house, but has had a lot of work done on it... We moved in in 1964 with our 2 little girls... And I just love this old neighborhood!

    It matches us..... Hahhhhhh!

    image

    image

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  • bonnets
    bonnets Member Posts: 769
    edited April 2017

    I'm sooooo happy for you both!


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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited April 2017

    Sandra, so happy for you........

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited April 2017

    Hi Chevy.......love that adorable house of yours..........

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  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited April 2017

    I always love pictures and I love both houses in those pictures. Most of the time, one way or the other your home is an extension of you and how can that be a bad or boring thing. None of you gals are.

    Sandra, add me in the circle of teary-eyed happy people. Mike looks wonderful and so do you. It is not only big events that touch us, but some of the smaller memorable things -- like having a waltz with the man who long ago swept you off your feet. You two have faced such a difficult time, but you did it together. I think of the words of that song "we will have these moments to remember" --- the great moments keep us focused -- because somewhere else another one will come.

    Ducky, your home is fantastic and I'm glad you are able to make it just what you want. It is also where you get to shut the world out for awhile. Your sanctuary. Mine is pretty messy lately but that's okay. I'll get there as long as I remember which foot to put out front next, you know.

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited April 2017

    Hi gals! Nothing exciting going on here.... And the weather is just not meant for working in the yard! Got cupboards cleaned out... Now going to clean off the doors, and do the floor!

    Daughter in Orlando sent me funny clips of Lily Tomlin & Jane Fonda, on the TED network, also a night show clip.... I used to watch Frankie and Grace, and that series was really FUNNY! Seems as though "older" women are just as fun as the much younger ones...Which is nothing new to me & Cammi & Ducky.... Hah!

    https://www.ted.com/talks/jane_fonda_and_lily_tomlin_a_hilarious_celebration_of_lifelong_female_friendship

    It's funny how as you get older, you can see through people a lot better than you used to.... I mean if they are acting like jerks, or namby-pamby's, you just walk away, and figure you don't really need that in your life.... Whether it's friends or distant in-law family people type. In other words, we become more selective of what we want or need in our lives... We "choose" who we want to be with....

    Man, I remember when I was younger, the THINGS people said, or did, and we were supposed to just look beyond that bad behavior... But maybe that's why we grew up to figure out what was best for US! And what we didn't need in our lives... Probably due to the fact that most of them passed on..... Haaaaaah!

    And then the "family" member who just still thinks the world is revolving around her .... just because.... And you look at them and think... "GOOD LORD, did she really just say that?" And that's the reason you don't see people, except at funerals & chance meetings.... Just give them another Prozac or Valium, or maybe both.....and then walk away....

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  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited April 2017

    I no longer feel that life is ordinary. Everyday life is filled with mystery. The things we know are only a small part of the things we cannot know but can only glimpse. Yet even the smallest of glimpses can sustain us. Mystery seems to have the power to comfort, to offer hope, and to lend meaning in times of loss and pain. In surprising ways it is the mysterious
    that strengthens us in such times. I used to try to offer people certainty in times which were not at all certain and could not be made certain. I now just offer my companionship and share my sense of mystery, of the possible, of wonder.
    image
    Rachel Naomi Remen

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  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited April 2017

    Oh Chevy. I hope you are right -- about seeing through people better when you are older. I actually do think you are because I feel like I am better --- but it has I think still taken me a long, long time. I used to be irritated with myself -- I so wanted to believe often that people were better than they turned out to be. I struggle still with that one -- especially when people are close -- like family members. I chastised myself all the time and wondered all the time how others could seem to see so easily what I could not.

    I still think people generally start out good, but the things that wind through their life sometimes changes them so much that they don't always know what good is anymore. I'll keep working but I do think in part my friendship with Sunny ( Chevy ) has been a huge boost to me in FACING up to YOU have to get over the fact that no matter how motiveless you may be -- others while maybe presenting themselves the same way let out subtle clues that they are not and you need to keep your eyes and ears in tune. A big thank you.

    Sunny here, but going to rain tonight. I may wash my floor mats -- not my car since rain is coming and I'll be splashing un-happily through mud puddles again tomorrow. If there is time I may even sweep it out good ( there is not a lot of dirt there since the Weather-Tek floor mats catch it all ) and do some interior detailing. Then when the rains slow or stop --- a good car wash and I'm set.

    I still enjoy that car so so much and still laugh at how much I hated the Equinox's when they first came out. I really only test drove it mainly to satisfy Dh and the salesman. Who knew -- I'd come back pretty much in love with it. Well, not quite love. I don't know if you can tell enough by a few minutes of a test drive. My cousin's last car -- she hated it. The seats felt like you were sitting on a hard bench a lot of the time and you actually had to sit almost down into the car because it was just lower then a lot of them. When they got another car -- they got an Equinox too --- but a brand new one. Toyed with the idea of the same color I have, but he always goes for white. Says that it is easier on you if you have to touch up a mark of some kind or a little scratch from something. I'm not sure about that -- touch-up is touch-up no matter what color of car. Still he does get white now. Also he feels that little dings are harder to detect on white cars --- I'm not sure about that either. Doesn't really matter in my case -- I had to take what I could afford which was a used vehicle ( though in such excellent shape that everyone who saw it thought it was brand new ) and whatever color it was. I'm just thrilled it wasn't a pukey, sickly green or odd orange/red or something that would have been TOO outstanding.

    Hope you all have a fantastic Sunday.

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  • Anneb1149
    Anneb1149 Member Posts: 960
    edited April 2017

    Loved all the pix of grandchildren and houses. Years ago, one of our favorites things was to go look at model houses. Especially Sandra's picture... what I would give to dance with Bob to "Can I have this dance for the rest of my life" one more time. We used to go to a small restaurant on a putting golf course and they had a group of guys and one girl that used to play there every Sat nite. About 2 songs after we arrived, they would play that song for us. They played it at my son's wedding last June. I danced with my brother and cried like a baby. And I am not a crier. My oldest DD cried as well and my oldest son had to leave the room. Very emotional.

    Have I mentioned that I HATE new computers- maybe all computers. My grandson's school is collecting letters for the graduates. No problem. Then I got the idea to scan and add pictures of him growing up. Scanned them last night, but couldn't edit them. Spent $100 on PhotoShop. Rescanned them all this morning Realized I was Scanning them all as PDF's not JPEG. Won't pretend I know what the difference is, just that the PhotoShop wouldn't let me edit them as PDF's. So I need to scan them all again, but the computer can't stay connected to the internet, and the printer can't "find" the computer, even with that being the only computer listed as an option.

    Took a few minutes to turn both off- will head back in to try again. Good thing I love this kid!

    Plus we are emptying our entire garage. My brother and I worked on it Thurs-yesterday, couple of hours each time, today my DD is out there doing her thing. She's hiding things in black garbage bags- I am fine with that because it is all her Dad's stuff, but only if the old, unusable stuff goes. What a job after 38 years.

    Back to the picture scanning....

    Anne

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