Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Chevyboy

I'm sorry Jackie..... almost makes me want to cry, thinking of being with my Grandma, and watching her struggle with her later years.... There IS a "plan" for all of us.... hopefully we can all have a sweet, calm life when we get older.... and just ride off in the sunset somewhere...

Whether she "enjoys" this event, or not, is alright.... YOU guys are celebrating her life.... and just don't let it bother you.... With all kinds of friends and relations there, should make it easier on all of you... She has a very loving family.... so just bring that sun-shine attitude and help her celebrate the rest of her life!

NormaJean65

Wren44, glad you found someplace cooler. Seattle is like the complete opposite of Houston don't you think. The thing about Seattle is all the rain and I couldn't handle that either being cooped up all the time. We have been stuck here for 19 yrs. Now that my DH is retired we are still stuck b/c of daughter & only grandchild. She just lives the next street over and we take care of the grandson 3 days a week when she works her 12 hr. shifts at the hospital. Someone said to me "you aren't just his caregiver....you are co-parenting him" which after thinking about it, I guess she is right. We would move to someplace smaller but can't leave the only remaining child and grandson. Our son passed away almost 12 yrs ago in his sleep from cardiac arrest.

On a good note, I tell people back home there's only a couple of good things about Texas.........no income tax & your vehicles don't rust out before they are paid for !! LOL

Chevyboy

Norma! Being close to my Grand-babies when they were first born, was the happiest time of my life! Our Daughter & SiL worked, and I only worked part-time.... So when I was off, WE would get the boys... they were 2 1/2 years apart! I felt like they were "my boys".... I found the most exciting, fun things to DO with them.... even if it was just walking over to the ditch next door to us, with a blanket and picnic, and sitting there just talking about "stuff!"

They both had day-care, but I wanted them as much as I could have them.... The first time DD left our first GS, she came to get him.... and when she took him out to the car, he CRIED his heart out! I did too! She drove around the block, brought him back so I could hug him just once more.

"Our boys" are now 27 and 30.... and I still have that love for them as I did when they were babies.... They are all in Orlando, but when we talk, my heart just sings.... Your time with your family is precious.

Sorry about your Son.... glad you are close to your Daughter and Grand-son!

IllinoisLady

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.

Elizabeth Kuebler'-Ross

ritajean

Norma Jean ...I have been in Texas but never to Katy, Texas. However, I get a Christmas card from there every year as one of my college friends lives there. She still teaches Special Education in one of the elementary schools in the area. They must love the area as they have been there for many years.

IllinoisLady

There is no need to invent an ego that is separate from the divine if our basic human nature is trusted. If we trust ourselves, we know how to avoid interfering with nature and how to live in harmony. When we know God as an unseen, loving, and accepting power at the heart of everything, allowing us to make our own choices, then God is a trusted part of our nature.
Wayne Dyer

IllinoisLady

Hmmm, finally stopped raining. Started yesterday and is mainly cloudy now, though we could get a little more. Going to be sunny tomorrow. Looking forward to that. The past two days have had enough gray to last me for awhile.

Everything else seems fine --- if a little water-logged outside. I hope you are all having some great sunshine.

Blessings,

Jackie

Seedsally

Jackie we have had cloudy dreary weather with a little thunder this morning but missed most of the rain. We got a couple hard showers then late today partly sunny. But now it's pretty chilly and a little windy. hope everyone is doing ok today.

carolehalston

We missed the rain in our area today, too. We didn't escape the increasing humidity, though. Even though the temp. was only in the 70's, I turned on the a/c this afternoon.

My mother is back in the hospital for a few days. She struck her leg on the frame of her bed in the nursing home and a hematoma formed on top of the ugly bruise. I suspect she's enjoying the break from several hours of rehab every day. She's in good spirits and continues to enjoy a lot of attention from her six children.

Greeting to everyone. Hope you had a good Monday.

bonnets

Thanks to you mid-westerners, sending your rain our way!

Been suffering With GERD for the past few days. I have eternal post nasal drip, went to the ENT last year, said I have GERD. Never had indigestion or heart burn, really didn't agree on it. The last few days increased belching and back and side pain. Wud almost think I was having a heart attack, but it went away when the belching decreased. Gas-x helped a little. Got reading on line , seeing a lot of people of all ages with the same complaint. Getting diagnosed with gallbladder, Gerd or never finding a diagnosis. Does anyone else have this? I finally decided to take Ranidadine, which has helped. Man, it was really painful. Cudn't get in to see my gastro , so will see my primary tomorrow. If it isn't one thing , seems to be another. Solved my tachy by going caffeine free, helped my IBS with Gluten free, now this! Growing old is such fun!

IllinoisLady

Termite, do you have pain --- toward the left. Dh has had a lot of that. He ended up in the V.A. hospital last yr. for 6 days. They couldn't determine anything past a gall-bladder upset. He does though have GERD and has antacids, liquid and chewable tablets. He did find that he keeps the left side pain under control by taking Metamucil on a relatively constant basis. I know, I know --- we all laughed about him being 'full' of something, but in the end it seems whatever you want to call it, it keeps him feeling better and not in pain from gall-bladder or anything else.

Anyone else with ideas --- seems more people have this getting diagnosed for gall bladder issues --- that may or may not be. Interesting, huh !!!!

Jackie

p.s. I think they called it ( the upset ) Cholecystitis.

NormaJean65

Chevyboy I don't think I could stand being very far away from my grandson. He is my motivation to keep moving forward & just the other day a friend of DD said to me that I am a doting Nanny (that's what he calls me). Isn't it wonderful to have grandchildren? This is a recent picture taken at the Houston Rodeo.

NormaJean65

ritajean wish you knew what elementary school. My grandson is high functioning autistic therefore he is in ARD for special needs students. Who knows what a small world this is, right? The school system in Katy is ranked very well.........much better than Houston ISD. You don't know what you are missing by not visiting and make sure is you do that it is in July or August

IllinoisLady

"Doting" is a RIGHT for a grandparent, isn't it???? If not, it should be voted into existence immediately.

Jackie

Love the pic of the Doter and Dotee

NormaJean65

IllinoisLady......thanks but the Doter in the pic is his mother. I only wish I looked that young :-)

IllinoisLady

Oh I bet you come close enough --- I just know we all look good. Young man has a very pretty mother --- she had to get it from somewhere. There, have I covered my boo-boo here really good or what !!!!

Jackie

Cherylista

I am age 71 & I noticed the same thing: everyone was/is young enough to be my daughter or grand daughter!

I think their needs are quite different from ours what with young children & jobs etc.

I'd love to find a job after having been forced to retire. I feel like a Jane of all trades (interests, many likes) & master of many.

I'm. divorced & share home with 2 kitties, & occasionally my son.

What about you?

IllinoisLady

WELCOME Cherylista --- yes, yes -- most of us are a mite on the older side here --- not me of course because I'm only 70, but you know what I mean. We do have different things generally happening in our lives once we get down the road a ways. We have found a great deal of comfort in sharing many parts of our lives here, both the good and not so good. It is a safe haven that began with a bad diagnosis that was scary and has become a place where we can feel comfortable with each other.

My job is very part time but also extremely enjoyable to me. I need the money, no doubt about that, as retirement paid most of my cancer bills, but the other thing is I love being needed and doing something for someone that has become cumbersome for them. That brings a satisfaction and good feeling that no amt. of money could. I also go out daily and feed feral cats as well as having way too many here at my house.

We share everything pretty much here including even discussing cancer too so I hope you will feel welcome to come often and join us. The door is always open and though we are a small group --- hopefully someone close at hand to respond. See you soon we hope.

Blessings,

Jackie

bonnets

Jackie, when I have the pain it is mostly in my back, sometimes chest or the side. I was amazed on the website I found, how many were experiencing the same symptoms, some for years , with all the tests negative! Ranitidine has seemed to help me.

carolehalston

Bonnets, those symptoms do sound like heart attack. Hope you can figure out how to make them go away.

Norma, your daughter is beautiful. I thought it was you in the picture and was going to scold you for lying about your age! It's a shame to have to live in a location you don't enjoy. Louisiana has a miserable summer climate, too, but there are pluses as well as minuses about living here. It's nice to have blooming plants year round, for example. And we have an abundance of shell fish to enjoy. The people are friendly and kind on the average. Since dh retired, we seek out a cooler climate during the summer months.

We're running late this morning. Usually dh gets us up early on gym days. It's raining this morning and it looks like a gigantic greenhouse outside. The trees are all that gorgeous spring green. You can "see" the humidity.

Wishing everyone a great Tuesday.

Chevyboy

Okay.... Little brat Daugher #2 just sent me this...

I mean I wonder if she is referring to me occasionally falling down? Ha!

And welcome Cheryl! YOU are almost the same age I was when I found BC also! I mean THEY found it... I didn't... I had no clue... but when I started, I thought I was the oldest one HERE, Ha! But no, Ducky is even older than I... See, we just get better as we grow up... we actually know more.....can boss people around, can drink whenever we feel like it, and we can do anything we want to.... almost....

And Bonnets...YES! Ranitidine is the best... and drinking Aloe Vera is even better! Take 2 Ranitidine a day, or go get some Aloe Vera from Super Walmart... It's only $7 something a gallon... Mix a little with your juice, tea, and drink it 3 times a day... It's a proven remedy for stuff like what we have..... Make a good smoothie with it! This will take care of all your digestive problems. Promise.

We love cats too.... Dogs cats... and little kids....

Norma.... isn't it funny how these little kids just crawl their way into our hearts, and we hold them in there forever! Oh just WAIT until someone wants to take him to another STATE! I don't care how old they are... fight that notion with all your might! Mine didn't get moved until they were about 14 & 16.... I STILL cried until they made that move. I KNOW they aren't "ours" but doesn't matter... we still should have control.... at least I think so. Love the picture!

Carole.... sorry about Mom.... Maybe she will look at it as a vacation.... Ha! Glad she has so many loved ones around her. THAT makes all the difference in the world.... Gets their mind off what is going on with them.... They need diversionary tactics... Like with my older neighbor Theresa... She is 91, and is NOW involved in more stuff than she can keep track of! The Assisted living makes sure these people are always busy.... Bingo, entertainment, Happy Hour, and always someone there checking on them... Not cheap, but she is so happy!

Okay.... gotta go get my coffee...My mouth and throat feel like the Sahara dessert.... or is it desert... one of those.

IllinoisLady

When we experience moments of ecstasy—in play, in art, in sex—they come not as an exception, an accident, but as a taste of what life is meant to be. . . Ecstasy is an idea, a goal, but it can be the expectation of every day. Those times when we're grounded in our body, pure in our heart, clear in our mind, rooted in our soul, and suffused with the energy, the spirit of life, are our birthright. It's really not that hard to stop and luxuriate in the joy and wonder of being. Children do it all the time. It's a natural human gift that should be at the heart of our lives. -Gabrielle Roth

IllinoisLady

Chevy -- it's the second one which I bet you already knew, but it is hard sometimes -- I mean to have to stop and think. Carole, I knew exactly what you said when you said you could see the " humidity ". On occasion ( thank goodness not too often ) that has taken place here. Makes you want to stay inside and not even go out to get the paper on the front porch.

It is so pretty ( but on the cool side ) here this morning. Rain is done for a bit and the coming week-end will have our temps going back up to the 70's. Well, there won't be an argument from me on that one. I don't want humid heat, but I do like it cozy warm. Had enough cold weather for the yr. The grass and bushes are that deep new green that starts our Spring out just right. That alone has the power to make your insides dance with delight.

Off to work, but I'll be back later. See you all then.

Jackie

Anneb1149

Mornin all,

Welcome Cheryl- you have found a great group of "mature" women here. We met because of BC,but stay now because we have become good friends and are interested in each other's lives. We, as a whole, are interested in many things and we like to share those interests. Some are interested in traveling, gardening, golfing, pets, food, the weather, sewing, knitting or crocheting, bird watching, photography, and, of course, our families. Most of our posts are good, but this is the place to come if you have a problem, or just need a safe place to vent- about anything- not just BC.

Just so you start to feel like you know us, I am 66 yrs old, lost my husband of 42 years thirteen months before I was Dx in Sept of 2013. I have five children and 7 grandchildren, the oldest will be 17 this month and the youngest will be 3 weeks old on Thurs. Then in June, I will be blessed with another girl.

Chevy, I agree grandparents should have control over our kids taking our grandchildren away. My son moved from Fl to SC right after he married. Missed him so much, we went to visit him for his birthday about 3 weeks after he moved. Problem was their sold house down here hadn't closed yet, so his wife and furniture hadn't gotten there yet. I brought 3 lawn chairs and we slept on an air mattress. That wasn't too bad at the time - they had no children. Then, completely out of the blue, my oldest DD decided to move to GA ?!?! Their 2 sons were in 2nd and 5th grade. I was with them at least 5 out of every 7 days. They only lived a mile away, and Nancy and I were best friends. They didn't need an excuse or invitation to come over. They had never been with a babysitter- we were their second set of parents, and if, for some reason, we weren't available, they had 4 siblings that were. We were included in all their activities. I chaperoned many a field trip and volunteered in their classes. I missed them so much I flew up 2 days after they moved to help them set up their new home. That was 6 years ago, and since that day my life has become that of a vagabond. I travel constantly between Fl, which is my home base, Ga, and SC, where my son now has a daughter who will be 3 in June, when his second daughter is due. I travel so much, I have complete wardrobes at all three houses. We moved from NY to FL when our first daughter was 16 months old. I never realized how much that hurt my parents until my DD moved her boys to Ga. And we are so much better off nowadays than we were then. We relied on snail mail, once a month phone calls, and once a year visits from them. Now we have unlimited cell phones, email, texts,and best of all Skype or FaceTime. My son n SC calls me very day on his way home, and his wife is very good about FaceTiming me about once a week while their daughter is having lunch. I have made a personal commitment to be with each grandchild on their birthday and so far, haVe only missed one which was here in Fl while I was in Ga during chemo. No matter how happy I am to be with whichever grandchildren I happen to be with, I always miss the ones I'm away from. I have begged them all to choose one area aNd all move there- within an hours drive, so I can be with them without having to fly,or drive almost 4 hrs between GA aNd SC to see them.

So again Cheryl, glad to have you on board. We look forward to getting to know you. How are you doing recovering from your surgery? Did you have chemo first or are you in chemo now? Remember that if you aRe having any side effects, there is probably someone here who has dealt who has or knows someone who has dealt with what you are experiencing. Even if we don't, we will be here for you, giving you a safe place to voice your pain and worries without judgement. Looking forward to hearing from you

Anne

Chevyboy

Aw geez Anne..... I know how you feel...(felt).... It is completely different with our Grand-kids.... except I don't know what I would DO if our youngest daughter (55) moved away from here.... We are so close to her... both in distance and our feelings with each other. After I broke my hip, and not getting around very good, she would come over on her days off, and bring Shirley Temple movies for us to watch.

She is just one of the greatest joys I have whenever I see her... ! She didn't have any kids during their 4 year marriage YEARS ago, and that worked out great for her!

I just wish I could get over this Bronchitis/Asthma I have had now for 2 weeks! I can't walk 10 feet without coughing.... I took my last antibiotic, but that dry cough just hangs on! I can breath so much better, and my chest is clear.... but I've been using that Nebulizer, and now I have thrush.... Been drinking Aloe Vera with my tea, swishing my mouth out with that and vinegar & water, and eating lots of yogurt. It all started with those darned Chickens, and their dirty coop, and then trying to clean the dirty cat-box litter!

I told the neighbor gal, I just can't do it anymore.... They need to get someone else.... So now they want to get rid of their 6 hens, because they aren't laying anymore, and GET MORE BABY CHICKS!!! I SWEAR, that family should move out onto the Prairie!

I've heard you can now buy eggs at the STORE! They make them pets, and name them, and then when they get older, get rid of them? They are all nuts.

IllinoisLady

Joy is what we are, not what we must get. Joy is the realization that all we want or need in life has been
etched into our souls. Joy helps us see not what we are "going
through," but what we are "growing to"--a greater sense of understanding, accomplishment, and enlightenment. Joy reveals
to us the calm at the end of the storm, the peace that surpasses
the momentary happiness of pleasure. If we keep our
minds centered on joy, joy becomes a state of mind.

Iyanla Vanzant

IllinoisLady

Good morning all,

It is a gorgeous one here. Good ole' Sol is up in the sky doing what I most love --- shining down brightly and helping me feel that JOYFUL state of mind. My outlook is almost always better when sun is a part of it. I'm not a sun worshipper in the sense of spending long hours in the sun as such. It is the 'light' it brings more so. It always seems to me that it helps the birds with their chirping songs, and buds and leaves spring forth and it warms us all after the winter cold.

Maybe I'll wash my car today some time. There are always so many things to do, so I'm really talking about using the car wash. Also need to find a time to clean out space in the garage for my car. Dh is not looking to have a lot of time off ( as much as it might take for that garage ) in the near future. You know sometimes there is sooo much drama that goes on in a working career. Dh as many may know left the home-town Sears store here and went to work for the new one that opened in Mt. Vernon. Until it closed --- he had worked for the corporation Sears store in the big Mall in Mt. Vernon.

Well, he finds yesterday -- not only did an employee at the new home-town store in Mt. Vernon end up being arrested ( all thought he was so nice and a good worker ) and it is drug and weapons related so he won't be returning to work that is for sure --- but as well there is drama with the home-town store here. The people here had two stores but they walked away from one of them a yr. before their contract was up with Sears for it. That has caused a huge rift and the owner of the Mt. Vernon home-town Sears has been contacted about the possibly of running the one here too. This is one of the things that is so irritating to me and why I chose to try not to line up with employment through businesses ( knowing someone has to though ) because I have never liked the GAMES that on so often behind the scenes that put workers sometimes in odd positions. Well, nuff said about that I guess.

Hope you are all going to enjoy a wonderful Spring day where-ever you are and can get into that joyful state of mind.

Jackie

Anneb1149

Mornin all,

Oh, boy!! Jackie, I need some of your joy fullness. The stress here is building very quickly.My son's wedding in June is much fancier (and expensive) than what we are used to, and it is causing stress everywhere. My oldest son is Best Man, and both my SIL's and my brother are also in the bridal party. The tuxes the bride chose are $250 each. And out of the four, three live in other states. The hotel, where the reception is being held is way expensive for their pockets- $179 per night, plus $33 for parking your car overnight. If you just call to get a room for that night, not mentioning the wedding, you can get a room for $129, but you have to pay the $33 for parking. If you say you are coming to the wedding, you pay $179 for the room, but $10 for parking. I have never heard of paying for parking other than at parks, attractions or hospitals. My oldest DD called the bride last night, and she doesn't have a problem with it. If they didn't agree with the price of the rooms the day they were there ( which was the height of snowbird season) they could reserve any number of rooms, but they would have to pay full price for any unused rooms. The idea was to not have anyone driving after drinking. My youngest DD is also quite upset that her 10 yr old daUghter is not in the bridal party, but her 3 yr old cousin is.

And to make my life even more stressful, I found out last night that my son ( the groom) has been sneaking into my neighbors garage at night. Nothing bad is happening but they (son and neighbors) are so tired of dealing with the daughter I live with, that Tim calls when he's on his way, they move their car out, he pulls in, they shut the garage and visit on the baCk porch. She is also the reason I haven't held baby Alex in a week. Technically, I "saw" her at Saturday's soccer game. She was asleep in the stroller and totally hidden from the sun and random soccer balls. I know the daughter I live with is an alcoholic, but have no idea what to do about it. I have confronted her many times which results in a cut back for a week or so, then full steam ahead. She is not a happy, good times drunk, she is loud, nasty one. All of us have just learned to ignore her ramblings as much as possible and have our own conversations under her noise. I don't see any way of changing her at this point, believe me, I have tried. But I am also a little angry - ok- full out furious that I am losing out on time with Tim and Jamie and her kids. I have told Tim I will meet him wherever and whenever he wants for breakfast or lunch or dinner- anytime! I finally had dinner with him when Jamie was in the hospital having Alex. Tim works there, so I met him on his break for dinner and we had a great time. I told him I will do that every Fri. Last Fri he had to cancel, cause his dept- psychiatric ER was too busy for him to leave at 4:30. We will try again this week. And Jamie knows Tracy works full time. She gets home between 4:30 - 5:00. Jamie can come over any day and leave before Tracy ever walks thru the door. I know Tracy isn't their problem to fix, but I am upset that they can't fit me in without her.

Sorry for another rant- just have to get it out .

Anne

mhmama

I was diagnosed at 59 and am now almost 67. I have 6 grandsons, 1 great grand daughter and 1 great grandson. Cancer has changed how I am able to play with them but somehow we get through it.

IllinoisLady

mhmama, welcome to the older women. Good to hear that you are ( like so many ) hanging in there and making the most of your grandchildren no matter what it takes to accomplish it. Moms and grandmothers are usually fairly good at adjustments. Hope you will feel welcome to come anytime and join in our conversations.

Anne, I don't know what to say. I know women want to have a gorgeous wedding and for the most part I'm for that, but I do think sometimes things price-wise can get so out of hand. I'm a little startled by the fact that JUST because it is connected to a wedding, rooms cost more. Also think back in my day --- no one much held a wedding reception at a hotel for the purpose of making sure people didn't have to DRIVE after the reception was over. I guess we all just took our chances and I'm un-aware that there was any BAD accidents connected to any of the weddings through the years I attended, including my own, nor in fact, any accidents at all. Times change and I can sure see why the stress is building up.

As to the rest, it really sounds like you have a problem that just doesn't really have a solution at the moment with your daughter Tracy. Like you though, I wonder, since everyone has full awareness, why some sort of arrangements can't be made so you get some decent Grandma time. Hope I don't make the apple cart even worse, but spending time with you while Tracy is at work just seems so simple and I'm wondering if I haven't understood. Anyway, hopefully the new parents will get it together and work this out better.

Jackie