Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

carolehalston

Norma, I cannot give you feedback because I didn't take Tamoxifen. I took arimidex for 5 years. Sorry about the hair loss. I don't suppose you've started a new medication.

IllinoisLady

I can't add much ( so wish I could ) since I did Arimidex, but isn't there a 'female' Rogaine that would help with thinning hair -- and maybe you could be switched to something else for your remaining yrs. I would be un-happy too. It is not so hard to go a few months hairless to do your chemo, but we all became soooo ok with bad hair days again after that.

Wishing you well Norma Jean and I hope you can find some good answers.

Jackie

IllinoisLady

First time here today as I didn't have enough time before work to write anything. Another nice day in southern Illinois. Cooler by a bit than it has been but still just fine for me. We have many ( our lawn is almost two acres ) trees on our property -- too numerous to count -- and there are so many twigs, sticks, limbs and debris from the trees. It will be a two person chore that will take several hours. Not looking forward to that.

I'm sure there is likely rain somewhere in our forecast, but the last three days have been nice an dry. We are already starting to have some difficulty being able to see some of the houses around us -- just the way we like things. Soon it will be difficult to tell there is much of anyone around save for the three houses on our lane.

I hope you are all having a wonderful day.

Jackie

Anneb1149

Hi everyone,

My oldest DD has gone back to Ga. What a weekend!! There was laughter, but more stress than anything else. Nancy flew down (flying alone for the first time ever) to meet Alex and help Jamie. Most days she was here, Jamie didn't get here till afternoon. Nancy was beside herself when she found out that, other than the bath at the hospital, Alex had not been bathed. It had to be basically a sponge bath because she still had the umbilical cord end. It fell off before Nancy left, so she was able to give Alex her first real bath. Have to admit, she did smell like a baby after the bath. As far as helping Jamie- she is fine with us holding, burping, changing and bathing Alex, but refuses any kind of help outside of this house. It's like she has to prove she can handle 3 kids all by herself. Problem is, without us, she has no help or support. She is beyond exhausted - her husband won't even drive the other two kids to school, which is aBout a 45 minute round trip, because they use my address to have the kids in a good school.

But that was not the cause of the stress. Nancy loves to clean aNd is almost compulsive about it. So she cleaned, which Tracy sees as an insult to her level of cleaning. Nancy did several loads of laundry every day. Tracy only does laundry on the weekends. More perceived insult. So Tracy's reaction- stay drunk the whole time Nancy is here. WHich is bad enough, but Nancy (who refuses to admit she is anything like Tracy) drank 5 bottles of wine in four days. Not thin bottles either. She does not get "drunk" like Tracy, but 5 bottles?? And all three of them told me daily how bad the other two are.

Nancy has decided I need to kick Tracy out. First problem, Tracy's son, who has two troubled parents. He needs me because I am the only stable "parent" he has. Second problem, I can't afford the bills here on my own. Third, there is no way I can keep up with the cleaning inside, much less the yard work. If Tracy were to move out, which she would love to do, there would be the issue of Jamie and family moving in- went thru this last summer- not an option. As little as I see of her husband, every time I do see him, I find I dislike him more and more.

So, if I take a survey of my kids, I have two alcoholics, one son in a mess of a marriage, and a daughter who lives with three kids in a ware house with the goal of moving in to an old boxcar in the middle of no where. The only one that is okay is my youngest son, who everyone thought would be the loser in the family. He has a good job, a wonderful fiancée and is the president of a not- for-profit organization targeting kids growing up in the foster care system.

Vent over! Thanks for letting me get it out.

Anne

IllinoisLady

Anne, you do have your hands full and it is nice to vent. It is one of the things I treasure most about coming here. I seldom bother with much venting in my own life. I don't know that its better a lot of the time, but while my adult children have issues, they do live away from me so some of the STRESS I might have isn't close enough to have a bad effect. Furiously knocking on wood here.

I think your family ( kids ) are somewhat typical. They all see what is wrong --- with everyone else. They also freely give you advice that is mostly un-workable. There is a familiar ring there for sure. Also was not surprised that the ne'er-do-well turns out the best of the bunch. Some times we just have to look for the things that are right to give us a boost and keep us going till some of the other parts go right or at least get way better. That is what I hope for you.

See you all later.

Jackie

sandra4611

Anne, unfortunately I understand completely. <sigh>

IllinoisLady

Although many of us probably didn't get a thorough education in the value of a positive attitude, we can teach ourselves. Simply by making a decision to look for the good, happy, and beautiful in all things and all people, you will have completed the first and most important step in learning to accentuate the positive.

Sue Patton Thoele

IllinoisLady

Hoping when I check again, this will be back in my favorites list. I know some of you have lost some things from time to time out of your LIST. This is the first time for me I think from Older Women. Glad I re-found it.

I had to do a heavy clean up cycle with Microsoft, and worked all day yesterday to get my ability to drop in memes and photo's into parts of the blog so hopefully I'll have no more issues now that everything is cleaned up and hopefully in tip-top form. I'll be checking in later too.

Blessings,

Jackie

carolehalston

Just checking in to say I've had an enjoyable day. I played golf the first part of the day and had a much better score than I've been having. Afterwards I stayed for lunch. My bacon, tomato, avocado sandwich was so big that I brought half of it home and half of the sweet potato fries, too. DH is at the golf course this afternoon.

Now I need to talk to my sister and my mother and find out how things are going today with my mother's rehabilitation. I'm feeling stress because the end of May will soon be here and with it the time for going north to MN. DH has already asked whether I'll want him to go up by himself. That hardly seems fair to him. Life is seldom simple, is it?

Jackie, hope you've solved all your computer problems.

Hi to everyone.

IllinoisLady

I think I do have my computer woes sort of ok. I do find it is a bit harder to put things in ( pics and meme's ) but I guess I can still learn some tricks -- just would like not to have too. Don't know that I mentioned it here but Picasa is being phased out ( more or less ) and phased into Google plus pictures. That is a mite worrisome. Google is really big and I'm thinking maybe --- advantageous somewhere down the road for Google. My suspicious mind at work maybe, but in any case -- still didn't hurt getting the major tune-up from Microsoft. I also put Mozilla in as sometimes it smooths out rough patches.

Carole, maybe you could delay your trip a week or two depending on your Mom's progress and status ( home or nursing home ) if you don't get clear-cut answers for a while. It is a real dilemma.

Our morning was not too bad, but around noon it commenced to rain and it hasn't much let up but has been fairly light at times. Well, at least it is keeping my car a little cleaner. Sadly, our lane has some pot-holes from the big heavy garbage truck that uses it once a week, and if those holes fill again I will end up with mud and another trip to the car wash. Our weather is fairly in-consistent for car washing this early.

Hope it gets better, but I think rain is on for tomorrow too.

See you all .

Jackie

IllinoisLady

Simply give others a bit of yourself: a thoughtful act, a helpful
idea, a word of appreciation, a lift over a rough spot, a sense
of understanding, a timely suggestion. You take something out
of your mind, garnished in kindness out of your heart, and put
it into the other person's mind and heart.

Charles H. Burr

IllinoisLady

Had rain yesterday for most of the afternoon. Very late it stopped and the sun came out. Still fairly wet out this a.m. but the sun is out for now. Their are clouds though and it won't get real warm either, but won't be cold, sigh !!!! Just hoping there won't be any more rain in those clouds. I can get enough rain pretty easy. Well, it is not the rain but the gray that comes with it. I find that I have to turn on ( and talk too ) the On-Star people who are bugging the dealership where I got my car. It's 5 yrs. old --- but ah-ha, a new owner who might sign up to On-Star. I'm being goaded by Sirius Radio as well.

I don't take extras because I can't afford extras ( or don't feel it is good use for me for my funds ) but to placate everyone I guess I will have to TAKE the free trial anyway. What On Star --- I need directions to my cat feeding areas. Not that there aren't area's an On Star wouldn't be nice, but I'm so seldom in any of those places with my car that it would be a complete waste of money. Same with the radio -- I often don't bother using my radio, and certainly not enough to justify paying for a no commercials radio service. So -- today we will set those up I guess, ggrrr.

Hoping to get back here later on. Thinking of Puffin and Sandra & Mike.

Jackie

Anneb1149

Morning all.

Just checking in. My life went from crazy to quiet incredibly quickly. My biggest problem now is that one of my tires needs air and I'm not sure how to remedy that. I have never been without a guy around to do these things. I know "how" to put air in the tires- I've watched my husband do it a million times. I just don't know where to go or how to know when it's full. I really don't want to take it to Tire Kngdom because they will tell me I need new tires and I don't know enough to know if I do or not. And I am not sure I could make it to the car dealership without it going completely flat. My DD says our neighbor next door can do it at his house.His hobby is buying and restoring old cars, so I think maybe she's right. My solution- don't go anywhere till its fixed.

The house is very quiet now that my DD went back to Ga. Jamie didn't come by at all on Tues. She came over yesterday about 2:30, because Victoria had a soccer game last night. The baby was very uncomfortable and cried a lot. Jamie nursed her about 6x between getting here and going to the soccer game. I finally texted to Nancy- come quick, Alex needs you! (In all caps) she texted back immediately - either she's too full or Jamie ate something that is cramping her. She said to try a bath. We did, and she caLmed down during the bath, then once sHe was dressed, Jamie nursed her agaIn for a short while. She slept all thru the soccer game. Jamie and the other two kids look exhausted. Kayden (7) cried three times at the soccer game, which is very unlike him. I so wish JAmie would let us help more. She said she is thinking of pumping the milk in to bottles so someone else can feed her and she can sleep more than an hour and a half at a time. She knows we all thought she was crazy to have a third becaUse of her circumstances, and seems to be hellbent on proving she can handle 3 kids and her normal routine. Problem is, whether having another baby was a good decision or not is no longer an issue. Alex is here and being the family we are, she was welcomed with open arms and each of us would do anything to help. Victoria has had two Sat morning soccer games. They start at noon- Jamie has been late for both. I had the kids here last weekend so we were there on time. Jamie got there for the last ten minutes. So I suggested the kids stay here on Friday nights. So far, she says no. This is the first time with a child in sports and she doesn't understand that Victoria being late will affect the whole team.

That is about it from here. Looking forward to a quiet day.

Anne

NormaJean65

Thank you ladies that responded to my post about the hair loss. I can't take the AIs as they make my bones hurt so badly. I could hardly get out of bed and since my BC was a grade 3 I am left with very few options. I still am going to go to my PCP to have a full thyroid panel done to see if that will turn up anything. :-( I would really like to cut it off really short but I have a few bald places in the top........so I am like an old man with a "comb over". :-) My hair is nothing like what I had prior to Chemo.........less hair, straight as a stick and can't do a thing with it but still don't want to lose what I do have.

Again thanks for responding. Chevyboy, I know how you feel about Tamoxifen........I am already deaf in one ear (since a child) & now have to wear a hearing aid. Thankfully my onco ran extensive blood work on me (16 vials) to make sure I wouldn't have a clotting problem.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Chevyboy

Thanks Norma.... You know, sometimes I hate to say anything about THAT side-effect, because I don't want to scare people away from something they don't know.... and I know it DOES help some people..... Just not me.

Sorry about your hearing... My Onco never told me about a test to see if I had that certain gene..... Or about "clotting"....! I can "hear" with my hearing aids, but have SO much trouble with the feed-back and different shapes of the domes.... They are working with me, and I have another hearing test on the 1st... So maybe I will get help.

I'm so sorry about your hair.... work with your Doctors.... Maybe they have some idea on how to help? Also I know there are certain agencies that will give you a pretty wig.... or something to wear just when you want to.... Because never give up hope.... My friends that lost ALL their hair with chemo, (twice) now have a full head of hair!

If I had to get one, I would have a shorter one, maybe styled kind of like mine... so I wouldn't feel so different.... We USED to wear wigs and hair-pieces and "falls" all the time! I loved them! Maybe work with what you have? Maybe just a hair-piece?

If all of that doesn't fit your style, I'll send you a crochet cap! You're in Texas? Maybe too warm for a crochet hat? Ha!

NormaJean65

Your post about the cap at the very least gave myself & DH huge laugh. As for the blood work my onco ran on me was due to my port that quit working right before my last Herceptin infusion leaving me w/ a completely blocked my Jugular vein. It would only happen to me as I know their are a lot of people that keep their ports (why I don't know) and all they have to do is have the port irrigated on a regular basis.

Yep, it might be a little too "warm" here in Texas for a crocheted hat. Actually I never wore anything on my head after losing my hair......bald as a baby's butt. That was then when I knew it would come back. Losing it again for no apparent reason is a tad tough to swallow.

Chevyboy

Not this one?

I like this one.....

IllinoisLady

Ah, you gals are just too, too funny. Wish we would have had more answers for you Norma. I hope you are able to find some sort of answer/adjustment that will suit you. I hated losing my hair, but knew that if all went well it would be a rather temporary thing. Bad part was that a really col winter was coming on, but I did make it through.

I also had dreams about what my hair would look like when it came back in. So many people said their former very straight hair ( me ) was curly. Also that their thin hair ( me -- thin and fine ) was thick and greatest of all --- a much nicer color. Well now, my reward for being bald through a long cold winter was coming -- and oh I could barely wait. The few 'sparse' little hairs were such a total delight. Then, the bad news, my hair was the same brown, only a little mousier than it had been, and it was just as thin and fine as ever. The only thing I can say is that I'm 70 and I still have the merest level of graying hair --- when I get a perm, you almost can't tell their is any. I do feel like my hair is thinning slightly from age I guess --- but for now, it is all there -- just super thin and fine which is why I do perms. They give lots of body and it makes my hair look much thicker than it actually is. Sigh !!!!

Chevy, those knitted caps are really cute.

Jackie

IllinoisLady

We are all born with a belief in God. It may not have a name or face. We may not even see it as God.But it is there.It is the sense that comes over us as we stare into the starlit sky, or watch the last fiery rays of an evening sunset.It is the morning shiver as we wake on a beautiful day and smell a richness in the air that we know and love from somewhere we can't quite recall.It is the mystery behind the beginning of time and beyond the limits of space.It is a sense of otherness that brings alive something deep in our hearts. -Kent Nerburn

ritajean

Love those hats! I seldom wear a hat because my hair is so thick and hats don't seem to stay on very well so I just drape a scarf around my head and neck when I'm forced to deal with cold weather. Those hats, though, are adorable!

sandra4611

As you know, my daughter Stephanie lives in my hometown, St. Petersburg, Florida, in my mother's house. I've mentioned the neighborhood peacocks and posted pictures of them from time to time. The local newspaper published an article about them yesterday and my daughter was quoted in it. Stephanie (and one of her cats, Franklin) are in one of the accompanying photos. Some of the other people mentioned are not fans of the peacocks and have actively tried to get rid of them! Yes, they do make a mess but they are so beautiful and have been a part of the neighborhood for over 50 years that I know about...probably much longer. Two doors down in this typical suburban neighborhood is a large house surrounded by a couple of acres. It used to be a plant nursery many, many years ago, before the houses were built in the 50's. The peacocks lived on the property then and that's still their home base where they go at night to roost. (Some apparently stay in the oak trees around the nearby streets.) Peacocks do get on the roof and walk round. They are not dainty and you can surely tell when they are there! They call to each other...it sounds like a cat howling. Otherwise, they are quiet and good to have around. There are no stray animals in the neighborhood and the bug population is kept in check...a plus for any Florida neighborhood.

http://www.tampabay.com/news/humaninterest/neighbo...

sandra4611

The crocheted hats are cute. Someday I have to learn how to crochet. Years ago I tried knitting but preferred counted cross stitch so I never got beyond basic knitting. My mother could do beautiful crochet work and my daughter Allison inherited that talent. Yes, it's too hot in Texas for knit caps, at least now it is. A couple of months ago when it was cold they could have come in handy once or twice. It was 82 here in San Antonio yesterday. In this part of the state during the spring it starts out cool - 49 at 7 a.m. but warms up 30 degrees or more by early afternoon. In another month we will be longing for those cool mornings as the temperature rarely falls below the upper 70's even at night and we are in the upper 90's by noon with more to come by late afternoon.

Puffin, thinking of you. I read that the hardest part of losing a partner comes about two weeks afterwards. You sound like you have many good friends who are helping you through these trying days.

Friends are so essential, even if you don't see them often. Just knowing they are there makes you feel like you can float on a hammock of friendly support. Kind of like this place.

NormaJean65

Yes Sandra4611 you are so right about the cool morning not lasting much longer. Have been here in TX for 19 yrs but have never gotten use to the length of time the heat and humidity hang around. It the time I most want to run away & return home to NE Indiana.

Chevyboy those are amazing & sooo cute. Wish I could do work like that but chemo left me with terrible numbness in fingers & toes. I use to love to sew anything & everything but no can do now. Wishing everyone a terrific weekend.

Anneb1149

Morning all,

Just have to jump in the hair discussion. My hair is so thin and fine that I was wearing a wig before BC. The only silver lining I was hoping for was better hair when it grew back. I wasn't even narrowing what option of "better" I would get. I just wanted "better". For the first short while, it did seem better - a little thicker, and it responded to a curling iron. Now I am worse off than before. When I comb my hair aFter washing it, I can actually see my scalp on the top of my head. I also have been pure white since I was n my thirties I would guess. I had to color it. I needed enough hair to color, and by the time it was long enough, everyone told me the white looked nice. So, I bought a "wHite" wig. No where close to my white at all. Plus, I bought it from a catologue and it is just too much hair. I don't want to look like I'm wearing a Dolly Parton wig in a short style. I actually wore the white wig around the house yesterday but it was too hot and scratchy. Normally, I just deal with what I have, but in the next few months I have a bridal shower ( I am the mother of the groom) a baby shower ( I am the baby's grandmother) the wedding rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner that I am hosting, and then the wedding itself. I am more worried about my hair thaN about finding a dress. I am not looking for anything major, I just don't waNt to look like a tired old hag.

Anne

bonnets

Morning ladies, Had a few snow flakes this morning. They are putting the new garage door on. It's good they came today, as they are forecasting measurable snow tomorrow! Spring , please come back! We have apple orchards along the Hudson River and they are worrying about loosing their crop, due to the cold.

Got my hair cut yesterday by a new lady. My long time 30+ gal retired and moved to Fla. So been trying to find a new one. I like this cut, think she may be a keeper.

Chevy love the hats. I used to knit, but never learned to crochet.

Us New York Staters are loosing a lot of friends to the South. Have another good friend going to Tenn. this week-end to look for a house there. Do find that some who have moved to be near family are disappointed when they relocate and find their family are busy with their own lives and kids. We thought we might go to Tenn , but I don't think DH will ever move. The thought of packing up is overwhelming! Think I'd have to pay someone to do it.

You all that are enjoying warm weather , bask in it!

Wren44

NormaJean, I lived in Houston for 16 years and never got used to the climate. Seattle gets a week or two of really hot weather. Not much is air conditioned because it doesn't pay for such a short time. I hear you wanting to go back to somewhere cooler. I grew up in Okla which has dry heat and a breeze. Easier, I think.

shuf

Haven't been on in a while. I just saw where puffin and sandra were going through a lot. Keeping you both in my prayers. Hi to all the newcomers and know all the ladies are with you. DH has had a pacepaker and Defib. put in and is recovering nicely. Sure hope this works for him and he starts to feel better. Getting ready to leave on our cruise to Alaska in May hoping this will be relaxing and beautiful. Working in the garden some but a little early for flowers here in Tenn. As always keeping each of you in my prayers. Shuf

ritajean

Welcome back shuf. Good to see a post from you!

IllinoisLady

Perfect courage is to do un-witnessed what
we should be capable of doing before all the world.

La Rochefoucauld

IllinoisLady

What a pretty morning outdoors. It got almost to freezing last night -- light coating of thin ice on the top of the water pail for the outdoor dogs. I hope it warms up ok through the day. Today is a special day. I won't be going to work tonight, but I will be going there for the 100th. birthday party for the lady I take care of there. It should be very enjoyable. Not too sure how she will react.

I know I can say this here, but I feel lots of concern that she has invested so much energy GETTING herself to 100 that she seems tired, and somewhat mentally exhausted as well. As a backdrop for this --- from the time I first started caring with and for her, she would often say in relation to our conversations, well, you know I'm almost a hundred. I started with her right after her 97th'. birthday. So, I've heard that statement many, many times. She has changed a lot since I got there. I'm generally accepting of ALL situations believing as I do that there is a plan for all of us and we are not able to change it much -- I just am dreading a bit for myself, and a lot for some of the family members. Probably wouldn't even think much of this were it not for some of the fairly recent changes -- as in I still hear this statement being made --- but not with the strength and anticipation that once characterized it. There is a lot more falling asleep in the chair, and little desire to participate in some of the daily routines that keep her functioning well -- like exercise.

Well, there, I finally said it all out loud --- sort of and I think I feel better. I will go and enjoy myself I'm sure --- just hoping my patient enjoys this milestone as much as the guests, though ( actually ) it isn't official until the 13th., but this was the time everyone could be gotten together for a party.

Hope the sun stays out nice and bright -- even if it stays a bit cool. I don't see much for the winds we had yesterday. That made it seem so cold. I even skipped going to the gym. Well, you know, I can't park up as close as I use to. I have to stay away in an area where few park so nothing happens to my car. I will likely go get a $5.00 car wash this afternoon.

Talk to you all later.

Jackie