Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

IllinoisLady

Beautiful day here and will reach the 70's. Could rain ( storms maybe ) tomorrow so we will pay for today, but it is typical of our Spring weather and I am just glad that Spring is here.

You women are a wonderful wealth of information for Nanette. I agree that going slowly to improve chances for quick healing and no upsets or infections is absolutely the best. I did not require pain meds long ago, but I only had lumpectomy and sentinel nodes. I do recall some stabbing type pains, but while a surprise, they didn't last too long and since they came and went quickly nothing was required.

Women are caretakers and reversing roles and allowing someone else to take care of you can be problematic to a degree. Also, I don't think men ( since we keep everything going ) ever always quite realize how much we really do. So glad you are here Nanette to get such great advice. I continue to wish you VERY well in healing and a return to a much more stable you.

Joan811

Happy week end...
Thanks, Wren, Carole, Jackie and others for your supportive good thoughts.
Carole, I am glad to hear that your DH's procedure went well.

I am still recovering from my hospital stay and 18 weeks of chemo...I am getting stronger and drove a little this week.
Dh is insisting on outside time and he is right; it is a good idea. We will take a ride and a walk in the Wildlife Refuge near home. The clouds have given way to bright sun and 60+ degrees.

Nanette, you are having a rough time. I am glad to hear you are staying ahead of your pain. I don't exactly know why Florida makes it hard to get pain meds. You have every legitimate reason to be entitled to pain management.
I agree with Minus Two -- there is no choice but to rest and nourish yourself. There is no other path to healing. The body can only do so much at one time. I hope you feel a little stronger each day.

This sounds trivial, but this morning I canceled a trip to Florida with my daughter's family. It made me quite sad; however, I admit that getting on a plane, and keeping up with their fast-paced plans including Disney will not work for me. My main concern is management of my restricted diet, hydration and rest.
I will miss my granddaughters. When I feel stronger, I will be able to go visit them at home.

Best wishes to all. And I offer gentle hugs for those recovering or facing procedures and treatments.
Joan

Beaverntx

Joan811, cancelling a trip to Disney with an active family is not at all trivial. Our last trip to Disney was with our grandkids and before DH's laminectomy and hip replacement. That was 5 or 6 years ago and we couldn't keep up with them! It likely was not only the last trip taken there but also the last one we will take there!

We have to take care of ourselves!

nanette7fl

hi everyone thank you all doe being so understanding and supportive right now. It means the world to me!! The edema,has been bad today and I just can't seem to get ahead of it. I'm sure it'll abate some tonight when I go to bed. I spent all afternoon on top of the bed head propped and feet too...arms on my chest... arms are better... legs and face not tight but still holding. Tomorrow I'm going to make 4 walks to the mailbox instead of 3 and see moving will help... I only made 2 trips today

My house is a mess! I just look without seeing it all lol Someone emptied the sink into the dishwasher and finally ran a load (DD?DH?) After dinner DH emptied it and reloaded it and ran it again. He's walked through the house on his way in or out and then comes into bedroom to complain and says it's all a big mess... sorry honey but 10 more days. Now he's doing the laundry.... omg he's going to shrunk my clothes 8( I told him cold water only... please pray he doesn't ruin my shirts!!

I'm so bored but am resting. I'm not one,to just watch movies or TV without my hands doing something...knitting...crochet... sewing ....

Omg he just broke the washing machine again!! Well at least DD got hers done last night and this morning. Now he's mad at me because I told him for the past 2 weeks (it broke before) don't mix weights of items...no jeans or towels in with shirts or underwear. "Oh my God" he said and then just walks out and leaves me talking to f#ing AIR!! Grrrr. Don't ask me how to so something and then turn around and don't listen!! We have a front loader and she's 12 years old. Up until 6 weeks ago she was running like a champ...until DD throws 6 towels in with her work clothes and the darned thing started sounding like she was going to blow up!! Seriously smoke and all!! Smoke was from the drive belt that broke but melted first...sigh front loaders are more sensitive about having unbalanced loads... DH seriously wounded my washer. Omg I shouldn't leave him alone in the kitchen my dishwasher may be next!! I just over hauled her 3 months ago...appliance killer. He just replaced the fan for the fridge 2 weeks ago...he's killing them 1 by 1

Oh wow feels so much better getting that out!! Now I can say HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

beep7bop

Hey it is funny how all the sudden they can buy new ones when we can't fix them anymore.

HikingLady

nanette7fl you are totally hilarious, how you tell these tales....my husband is very well-meaning, and food and cleaning and laundry happened Just Fine most of the time when he was in charge. He learned about Oxyclean, as my drains leaked and made a mess on sheets....he was a committed caregiver. But, there were Moments. Last year, when he was taking care of me during surgery recovery, he put regular dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher. YES, the suds were ridiculous, and they took over the house. It's funny the stuff that the Household Engineer just KNOWS, like weight of clothes in the washing machine, and the helping spouse means well, but has never paid attention to these details! I think the basic shape of the two liquid detergent bottles under the sink were similar, even though they had LABELS IN ENGLISH, his native language, and were different colors, and one was CASCADE and one was DAWN and anyway, five rinse cycles later and lots of bubble-scooping, our kitchen returned to normal....

nanette7fl

I'm glad you liked it HikingLady 👍 Honestly I've learned over the past 17 years why he lived with his mother after DH divorced his previous wife. Mom took care of him. He can't make it on his own... seriously he'd live on chicken feet, pig ears, neckbones ham hocks and all served with rice...its all he knows how to cook oh except eggs bacon and grits lol. Since I came along he eats better and in great variety. He's yet to have cooked a meal since he's been home (3/28). He has ordered in or gone and picked up dinners. All i can do Is laugh...not at his face but quietly behind his back. Side note here... Between us we have 5 children (3 boys and 2 girls) and my 3 young adults (2 boys and DD) are way more capable of running households than his 2 young adults are. Our kids are all close in age and get along well enough (32-27). Some days its like "As the world Turns" drama and drama but 5 months ago we made it clear that my house ...my sanctuary will be stress free and drama free and it all stops at the beginning of the driveway. You drop it there and can pick it back up on your way out. I have to laugh... at this life I'm this mixed brood of southern meets upstate New York is a family of sometimes opposing views but the love it what ties it all together. and of course... me... I'm the glue that fixes it all and the one with the courage too get them all moving in the right direction... I already had a full plate before BC now it's just too funny. "mom what do you mean I have to mend my own pants??" But I want you to bake the birthday cake yours tastes better...no what mom needs to to take care of herself and help your dad take care of me. Teaching caregiving isn't easy but I really believe I will survive clueless DH being home for another 3-4 weeks...i can also survive Rads and more chemo lol just have to laugh... if I didn't I'd have to cry and o how I really hate to cry!!

jo6359

nanette-your appliance stories are funny. I'm sure it isn't funny at the time while one Appliance after the other is breaking down. Take care of yourself and your house will survive.

april1964

ugh... my husband did the same thing a few years ago... he put regular (extra strength) dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher and fifteen minutes later in a panic hesaid “there's something wrong with the dishwasher." I went downstairs to the kitchen and there was a rushing river of soap bubbles pouring out of the bottom of themachine onto the wood floor. He's no longer allowed to go near the dishwasher.

IllinoisLady

Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.

- Desmond Tutu -

IllinoisLady

Oh my, I am having such a good laugh. Your 'my hubby' did it stories are totally hilarious. Now I don't feel near so bad about my "grouchies" when Dh upsets the apple cart around here. I have got him ( I think ) going in good directions. He would put things on the counters ( I don't have all that much in my kitchen even though its fairly big ) and I would just go behind him and put the stuff away. After a few days he quit looking for it the next morning on the counter. Went and got it from where it really belongs ( in the pantry ) and put it back when he got done with it.

He can do laundry but I attribute that to his working at Sears and selling household appliances for so long. He is fairly good ( though he won't load the dishwasher ) at dealing with the use or repair of them. So, little by little this last yr. I've been trying to cut down my work load by helping him learn to put things away when he uses them. So far, not bad.

Going to get back up to 70's today. Had a man out yesterday to give us a price on getting a dead tree down on the ground. $100.00. I can't believe how fortunate. Should have called him sooner. So -- since it was nice we got that side of the yard free of last Fall's leaves and it is looking good over there. Dh slept like a baby. I've tried to convince him that you sleep better after some hours put in working. Not hard work mind you -- sitting on the lawn tractor, going up and down mulching leaves isn't back-breaking. Another thing I need for him to re-learn. I guess we are old and forget things. I used the push mower so I did get a work-out, but that is good. It is marvelous for losing some of your spare calories.

Joan, you give such fantastic and sensible advice with love and care which shows through. Anne, I sure hope things are going okay for you and Carole -- hope your weather was not too serious. I missed most weather reports. Puffin, hopefully all that snow is gone or just about. Hope Canada is faring a bit better as well though I know we are all in the early Spring stages for the most part. We are going to get there and hopefully have a great Spring and Summer.

We had rain last night and may get more tonight. Yikes -- now that we have a tree man hired we are going to have to hope the rain will stop long enough so that he can get his big bucket truck on our lawn. Nice to have all the leaves and tree branches cleared so that he can.

Hope you are all going to have a gorgeous Sunday.

karen1956

When my younger daughter was in middle school, she was at a friend's house and they put dish soap in the dishwasher. I don't think they ruined it but needless to say the parents weren't thrilled.

MCBaker

Not an exceptional story, but my aunt moved in a trailer way out in the boonies in South Dakota to be closer to my cousin. The trailer had a dishwasher, and both women, having had no experience with dishwashers, used regular dish-soap (even if they knew better, it was a long way into town). This was 30 years ago.

nanette7fl

oh my Mary!!

IllinoisLady

Stitch

Nannette, your DH sounds a little like mine. He’s ok with laundry, and could do basic house cleaning. Cooking? Oh heck no! PB & J sandwiches are as far as his kitchen skills go. He can fry fish outside. That is all. My sister is no better, and I’ll have them as caretakers. But my sister says she’s going to spoil us by ordering expensive restaurant meals daily!

carolehalston

Time for confession. I once put dish detergent in my dish washer. Who would know that a small amount of dish detergent could produce that amount of bubbles! Quite a mess but I learned a lesson.

DH would do laundry but he scorns the notion of separating dark clothes from white and pastel items. He makes most of the trips to the supermarket to get needed items on a running list. I go occasionally and end up spending more money than he does because I browse up and down the aisles. He buys the items on the list and is in and out much faster.

Our weather has turned rainy again.

Hugs and words of encouragement for Joan and Nanette and anyone else in the stages of treatment and recovery.

IllinoisLady

Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons.
Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.
- Cherie-Carter Scotts

IllinoisLady

Just ran onto this quote from what I got in my 'morning mail' and it seemed great for our discussion. Birds are singing and it will get to the 70's again today. Sadly, some possible overnight rain but chances are way less I think. Hope it stays dry -- then maybe in a day or two we can get that tree down. The first bad tree fell the opposite direction of the house but this one is closer and seems to learn slightly towards us -- so the sooner it is down, the better.

Class today and bill paying are the big things.

I hope you all will have a fantastic day.

nanette7fl

7 days post surgery... I'm doing pretty good!! Drains barely producing so I'm hopeful they will come out at BS visit on Wednesday 8)

This compression bra is killing my ribs and is my source of pain. Oh I hope my JCPENNEY bras come in.. order is due tomorrow.

Energy is returning slowly but steadily and don't worry I won't overdo it.

IllinoisLady

Nanette

IllinoisLady

It is not always easy to hear the truth, but . . . . the truth can lead us on to be better than we already are. When we walk in the truth, we are walking toward God. God is truth, and the more time we spend in honesty, the more time we spend with God. Not only should we seek out truth in others, but we should let others know that they will receive truth when they come to us. There is very little we could want more than for other people to be able to trust us. Trust is the cornerstone upon which solid and lasting friendships are built. We can do a person no greater service than to deal with them in truth and love. -Dan and Nancy Dick

nanette7fl

I thought is was good that my left side had stopped draining..after all none is good right? WRONG!! Apparently I had a bloody clot in drain line where I couldn't see when I was stopping the tube. My nurse worked at it and we got out 200cc in 8 min!! She said if it had stayed plugged up we would have been going to BS office or ER because I would have been so sick. WHEW!!

On brighter side I did fold some lightweight laundry yesterday and felt productive 8) I also finished my lapghan... just need to sew in some ends. I'll send pic later. The nurse told me I can do small things just no pushing, tugging lifting etc... laundry folding is ok, putting clothes on hangers ok but not hanging them up lol

I see BS tomorrow. I gave really good range of motion but still lots of sore muscles and tendons still. I hate this bra and started stuffing the band with gauze pads on some of the pressure spots on my ribs. Sleep is getting easier although getting in/put can be a challenge when I'm tired.

Trying to learn about radiation therapy and omg there's so much to learn so many difference ways, types, .... trying not to get overwhelmed by all this new stuff.

Hope you all have a great day. It's partly cloudy here in St Augustine and that makes for a grumbly DH..,sigh... I told him "You could be at work.. with rain coming." Wrong thing to say lol

jo6359

nanette- it is a very rainy day in Miami. I leave Thursday for my niece's wedding on Saturday evening. Lucky me. I'm the coordinator for this event. The good news is Bridezilla finally calmed down. One of the good things that came from my New Orleans trip being cancelled was the opportunity for my mom, 2 sisters and Aunt to come over for 4 days. They helped to finish last-minute preparations for the wedding. They also helped me make 80 candy bags and 40 Easter baskets for a local charity. We had a good time. I will work on the balance ball tonight.

Nanette-the best part is when those drains come out. Hang in there.

MCBaker

Pieces of cotton where the bra sits on the drains are about the only relief you can get, other than acetaminophen.

jo6359

i used an Ace compression bandage gently wrapped. The bandage minimized the pulling at the drainage site. I didnt have reconstruction so Im not certain if this will help you. Gently wrapped is the key.

IllinoisLady

Wonderful, sunny warm day today so doing more yard clean-up. It is a real mess after the winter, but we should do okay. Lots of wet leaves underneath, but an hour in the sun does wonders. Planning to make our outdoor dog pen smaller since it is un-used now. I think we still should have one out of doors, but it is way larger than it needs to be.

Sounds like things are falling into place with you Nanette. Whew !! So glad you found out about the blood clot and got it taken care of with your nurse. Hope your appt. goes well tomorrow.

Hoping you all have a really good day.

nanette7fl

Jo wow you all were very busy. We had a nice day here (80°F) with a nice breeze (5-10 mph). About 3 it decided to pour but we've not had much rain since mid-Feb here in St Augustine. I hope you have fun at the wedding and that it goes smoothly.

The drains don't bother me much I only have 2. I checked them before dinner and left needed to be stripped big time again but at least this small clot was where I could get at it and make it go into the bottle. I think it's odd that I'm clotting now.. I went back on my blood thinner on Sunday... hmm well my platelets do tend to be high. Padding the elastic band on the bottoms fun!! I had thought of making a mini shoulder belt cushion but I can't use my scissors or fabric wheel so that's out.

Have a great night everyone

Di2012

Nanette,

Do you have any sanitary pads OR MINI pads.... Fold them long ways and stick them under your bra band...it make great padding for places that are sore or hurting. ( is your bra band sitting on your incisions?)

I was wrapped in a 15' ÀCE bandage after my bmx, which I was told to wear at all times for 10 days.

Di

nanette7fl

hi Di no the band is only hitting the bottom area of my old breasts no incisions near. But it is putting incredible pressure on my ribs kind of like when I tried to wear bras with underwire.. ..they were uncomfortable to say the least. Right now I have the bottom band a little unhooked since I'm sitting on the couch. I do have pads so I'll try stuffing my bra before we head out to my post surgical appt with my BS.

Thanks for the tip!!