Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

IllinoisLady

The moment of grace comes to us in the dynamics of any situation
we walk into. It is an opportunity that God sews into the fabric
of a routine situation. It is a chance to do something creative,
something helpful, something healing, something that makes one
unmarked spot in the world better off for our having
been there. We catch it if we are people of discernment.

Lewis B. Smedes

IllinoisLady

Oh my, my. It is going to be 99 degrees today. Almost wish I hadn't looked. Well, it might be all right if we don't have too much for humidity. Didn't see an estimate on that. We will just plod along doing our best like we do every day. Too many trees in view this a.m. to know whether there is much for clouds. Must be some as the sunshine has times of some minor dimness. We may feel cooler than we are. Will make for a quiet day around here.

This is our warmer time of the season so not a huge surprise. Hoping the breeze I've noticed will continue. I don't have anything special planned -- just the on-going gathering of things to distribute to Goodwill or Mary Anne's book store. Once I'm through this --- then all the drawers and storage areas will come under scrutiny. I'm not so much a hoarder as I am guilty of out of sight ( in drawers and storage ) out of mind. Same with book shelves. Those items don't get in your way and are easy to dismiss as something to make decisions over. I credit Chevy with her 'cleaning and donations ' as the impetus for making me 'consider' areas that I walk by every day and barely glance at let alone see as an area where I could 'give' to someone who might find pleasure and even great joy. My cupboards should only have things I either feel a VERY special feeling for ( some of my Mom's things ) or things I use a great good deal. I don't want to be a warehouse for in-used items.

I hope you are all going to stay cool and have a super great day. Anne, I am thinking of you and hoping a good solution for you will soon be found. Hugs to everyone.

Sandy -- yay. Things are sounding a mite better. Enjoy that wine !!

Anneb1149

ThAnk you Jackie,

I had an appt with the pain Dr at 8:30 yesterday morning. He asked a few questions, then explained that the shots are not a magic wand, they give a small steady relief, then mentioned that if I wanted to start immediately, he could do the first round at 4pm. I said absolutely. My DD came with me, because all the meds I am on have me in a fog. Then I had an appt at 2:45 for physical therapy. I got there early and the waiting room was full. Like I said, my brain is foggy and somehow I thought there was an extra hour between 3 & 4, so I am sitting there quite patiently, reading my kindle. I had to ask my neighbor to take me back to the pain Dr because my DD could not leave work early because she had gone in late. Sami had texted me that she thought we should leave by 3:13-3:20. I looked at my watch and it was 3:00. I told the receptionist that I would have to reschedule the apt., and she said, no, no no- let me talk to him. Ten ministers later, I went over to her again and said even if the first visit only took 15 min as she had said earlier, I still is had to cancel- I had to drive home to drop my car off and meet up with Sami. The receptionist asked me why I had scheduled 2 appts on the same day, and I said because one was early morning the other mid-afternoon. But the ft. first Dr said he could begin lessening the pain that afternoon. I said if I had an appt. with Tom Cruise that afternoon,I would cancel that in a minute if it meant l could get some relief from the pain. He gave me four shots two on each side. I think the first one was a local anesthetic and that hurt. The second shots I felt didn't feel at all. I go back in two weeks. If they are working I will get another round then. if not, we will look at other options. He says that if the 3 shots work, I should be fine for 6-8 mos. so far today, I haven't walked a lot, I have not felt any pain.

Hope everyone is doing okay. Right now I can't remember anything longer than 2 minutes. My first priority is to get off all the meds for my back. Then, I will look back and catch up on everyone. Miss posting every day or two, but my typing is so bad right now, it took me an hour to write this. My hands are just shaky enough to hit random keys when trying to space the letters- or I leave a letter out and have to go backwards and correct it.

Anne

ChiSandy

Anne, hope the shots do the trick!

Going up to only 85 today, but muggy till overnight storms. Tomorrow—oy vey: 95 with a heat index in the 110s. Bob's gonna get a lot of ER admissions of elderly poor people. Neighbors or police routinely do well-being checks during heat waves in the ghettos & barrios; invariably, they find many seniors in extreme distress in hot, unventilated apts. or shotgun cottages: either can't afford A/C or the wiring can't take it, and they fear opening a window for fear of home invasion. The older the patient, the more intense the fear.

It's not just poor super-seniors who get paranoid about crime. When my FIL (then 87) and MIL (almost 96) were each hospitalized back in 2007—she for a stroke, he for syncope leading to falling on his lawn en route to the bus stop to visit her—he had me go to their house in eastern Queens to search for his missal and his wife's purse, and retrieve her glasses and hearing aid from the latter. I went inside and found the living room waist deep in crumpled plastic grocery bags, towels, and blankets—the purse was at the very bottom. I asked my FIL “WTF?" (not those actual words or initials). He replied in his thick native-Bronx accent, “Boiglars. If they saw valuables, they might moider us."

IllinoisLady

Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko

Forgiveness means letting go of the hope for a better past.
- Lama Surya Das

IllinoisLady

Oh Anne, I have my fingers crossed so hard for you it is a wonder you don't hear knuckles cracking !!! I so hope that you will get the much needed relief after such functional upset. It is hard to do anything ( including thinking for more than a few seconds at a time ) when you are in near total unrelenting pain. You REALLY need a break for sure and I'm praying you get it.

Sandy, I was laughing at your entry -- not the horror of your in-laws issues living with crime. That is a horrid way to live, but at the Bronx accent part. He likely knew what he was talking about too since they don't sound like the type who would have allowed living like that if they didn't see it as a necessity.

My hippy-dippy weather station reports cites 101 for today's temps. Well, there is a small ( way too small to suit me ) breeze that I hope will get better through the day. Then again -- being out here mainly in a wooded and almost no concrete area helps a whole lot as far as temperature. Here's hoping everyone does fine with their day. I've plenty to do inside as I continue to work on my thinning every thing way down projects. Some days it goes fast --- and some days, like yesterday, with dh having a day off are very slow.

Keep cool everyone !!

ChiSandy

Actually, my in-laws were far more paranoid about crime (and diversity, alas) than any of their neighbors (or my equally elderly Brooklyn parents). They did not “live with crime," but read about it in the Daily News and watched TV news reports, and had absolutely no reason to worry: their section of Queens--Bellerose, which straddled the city-county line into Nassau on its southern border and was less than a mile from New Hyde Park over the eastern city-county line--was about as suburban as a neighborhood w/in NYC limits could be, only w/o being able to make right turns on red. By the time of that episode, the gravest danger facing them would be getting overcome by the smells of Indian food wafting out of restaurants or colliding with a kid on a skateboard as they walked to church. They lived in a “double-carfare" neighborhood, in which it was absolutely necessary to take buses to reach rapid transit (and NYC did not allow free transfers between buses & subways). The extra expense of commuting did tend to keep the poorest people out of such neighborhoods, and rents and home prices were higher despite the inconvenience—probably because of the comparatively wealthier demographic; and few burglars or drug-dealers would be willing to take both a bus & a train (and walk 1/4 mi. to & from the bus) to commit their crimes. Even today here in Chicago, where there are free transfers (encoded on the fare card's mag. strip), drug traffic and crime tends to be concentrated mostly along blocks adjacent to an L or major bus line (one with buses that run most frequently and are long enough to originate in or pass through “dicey” areas). Go two blocks in either direction and it's like being in another neighborhood entirely.

My FIL was raised by a couple of parents with similarly bizarre ideas. His dad (half Swiss heritage) had earned a good union salary & pension as a NYC transit motorman (and with the perk of unlimited free transit rides his family had no need to drive or own a car), and his mom was Scots through & through—a perfect storm of parsimony. They amassed enough to buy a house in the most exclusive part of posh Riverdale in the N. Bronx—their house was the first one (closest to the entrance) of large Arts & Crafts style homes on a heavily wooded cul-de-sac on a cliff by the Hudson River (which was visible only by parting the thicket). Bob's grandpa decided to erect a tollgate adjacent to his house and charge his neighbors' visitors & tradesmen to enter the lane. The neighbors petitioned the city to fine him unless he demolished the tollgate; he paid the fine and the city demolished it for him. 75 years later, when we made the “pilgrimage" up to Riverdale, the second and third generation of residents on the lane (especially the current resident of the house—or more precisely, the new home built around the original oak staircase which was the only part sturdy enough not to demolish) remembered “the legend of the toll guy."

carolehalston

Hi to everyone. I am back home for a couple of weeks to pamper my 94-year-old mother, who lives in a nursing home. We had a nice afternoon and now I'm sitting in my comfortable chair in the living room and enjoying a glass of Chardonnay.

Happy Wednesday.

IllinoisLady

Joy of life seems to me to arise from a sense of being where one belongs. . . of being foursquare with the life we have chosen.All the discontented people I know are trying sedulously to be something they are not, to do something they cannot do. -David Grayson

IllinoisLady

Joy of life seems to me to arise from a sense of being where one belongs. . . of being foursquare with the life we have chosen.All the discontented people I know are trying sedulously to be something they are not, to do something they cannot do. -David Grayson

IllinoisLady

Carole -- give your Mom a hug from me. It is so great that you can SPEND some quality time in the middle of your Minn. summer life. I know it gives your sister a break, but you know --- these are times that you can't get back if you miss them so I think it is an almost perfect thing to do. You are a good daughter and you do the right things. Way too much time for regret is you don't.

I know your not thrilled with the weather right now. Ours is not so hot either --- or maybe I should say, way, way too hot. Better today temp wise but not much of a breeze. Morning chores included a car dusting so when I got back inside I was due for a wringing out. Well, this is a fairly typical July for us so nothing we haven't done before. So happy to have the new HVAC system. It is so much more efficient than the old outdoor heat pump. I know this unit is much newer and things have been made energy efficient but sometimes I wonder at how long I was "thrilled" with a very old and in-efficient system. I loved the fact that our unit sat outside and so we never heard it running ( unless you were outside and it engulfed the deck with an almost deafening noise ) and I became used to some cold spots and later to having to resort to I-heaters to pick up the slack.

We do hear the one we have now, but not too much. Also, the fan system is so much better that it runs a bit more often, but way less at one time. It just seems to do this and effortlessly keep up with the indoor temp you have selected -- and it never seems to have the chance for that temp. to change. The old system might vary by two or three degrees and so would run, and run to get 'caught' up again.

Hoping you all keep cool and have a really good day.

IllinoisLady

My apologies -- the quote I used ended going in twice and then after I made the last entry and submitted it --- after a long while I got as whole page that said I had an application error. I'm putting it down to lots of outside heat and no Chardonnay.

carolehalston

My younger (though not youngest!) sister is supposed to be coming today to spend a couple of nights here at my house. We will be spending time with our mother with plans to take her out to lunch tomorrow. Yesterday afternoon I pushed my mother around the nursing home visiting her friends in their rooms. One of them, Joy, is my age! She had gone home about six months ago after her therapy was finished but then she fell and broke her leg. Now she has decided to stay in the nursing home.

Yesterday she was working on her church bulletin. She still does it and e-mails it to a member who prints it out.

This afternoon is bingo. Time to eat some lunch and drive to the nursing home.

Happy Thursday to all.

Anneb1149

Lol Jackie- any New Yorker knows that's a Brooklyn accent Sandy was using about her in-laws. Very different from a Bronx one. It's funny, I am one of 4 children- my older brother and I had no accent, although many people thought my DH and I were from New England, and my sister and especially my youngest brother very definitely have the Bronx one. In fact, on his resume, he say he has no problem traveling if the job requires it, but he has a NYC accent and it goes wherever he does. Believe or not, he has gotten turned down for jobs because of the accent.

He is coming back, but first - I am close to painfree. It is amazing! I still have a little pain, but nowhere near what it was. The Dr says the pain level will decrease gradually, and by the time I have my third set of shots, I should be pain free for 6-8 months. I was feeling great, but my DIL is here from SC so the girls could visit with Daddy, and she spent several hours with me yesterday. We went out to lunch, and the baby fell asleep on the way back. I asked Anna if she could get the baby into the house without waking her-she said maybe, if the pack'n'play was ready, so when we pulled up, I ran inside to set it up. Way too heavy for me right now, plus I moved it to a different room. Oh boy, within an hour, I was in moderate pain. I took a muscle relaxer, but still felt it when I went to bed. I was so afraid I had knocked whatever is in the shots out of place. I woke up this morning, I realized that the nerve was inflamed, so I took some Advil, and while I have pretty much sat in the same place all day, when I do get up, there is no pain. My DD says I look totally different without the pain.

Now, for my brother. I guess things are not great at his son's house. He started talking about coming back, kind of feeling me out about it, and when I said "Come on down", he finally said his son and DIL were much calmer since he told them he was leaving again. The three of them are really nice, easygoing people. His son and DIL are trying to sell their house and look for a new one, plus the way the current house is laid out, all three bedrooms are off one small hallWay, which is a not a great set-up. I think it is harder for a FIL living with a DIL, as I also think it is harder for a MIL to live with her son & his Wife. His DIL is one of the sweetest people I have ever met and they get along great usually- I think it really just a case of being too cramped in this house. AnyWay, I am back on a traveling schedule. My brother will drive down on July 25th. We are flying to Atlanta on July 28th. He will rent a car and go back to NC for a concert he is going to there on Aug 6th. We probably would have driven, but I don't think my back can handle 11 hrs in he car. I will go to my DGS 's college orientation, then we will fly home on Aug 12th so I am home for my granddaughter's birthday on the 13th of Aug.

Thank you all for helping me thru another difficult time. BTW - one of the Dr's (they are all a big blur to me) said that the stenosis is probably due to the chemo. So as I've said before, "cancer is the gift that just keeps giving"

Anne

ChiSandy

My FIL was born near Van Cortlandt Park, grew up in Riverdale, and went to NYU for his BA & MA. My MIL was born in Hungary, grew up in Park Slope and went to HS in Manhattan. The only time my FIL ever lived in Brooklyn was the 1-1/2 yrs they lived with her parents in Park Slope, where Bob was born, before moving to Bellerose, Queens before Bob’s first birthday.

OTOH, neither Bob nor I ever had Brooklyn (nor even NYC) accents. Maybe that’s why we were exiled to Seattle the day after we got married...

IllinoisLady

Deep within us all there is an amazing inner sanctuary of the soul, a holy place, a Divine Center, a speaking Voice. . . . Life from the Center is a life of unhurried peace and power. It is simple. It is serene. It is amazing. It is radiant. -T.R. Kelly

IllinoisLady

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur
when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy,
or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled
by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts
and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

M. Scott Peck

IllinoisLady

Past two days have been so pretty. We are back in the no rain and fairly high temps. If the humidity stays lower we will be okay. Though the near forest we live in is a big challenge in Fall, it does help us in the mid to late summer heat. I love looking out and seeing different dotted with sun areas with shade all around. This does sometimes cause spots in our lawn to have growth well beyond what is surrounding it that mainly stays shaded. Sort of like the difference between cotton and corduroy.

Nothing much doing today. We had to get a new router last night. Our old one which I think was 11 or 12 yrs. old was just it seems losing the strength ( though we only use it for our two computers ) to function at a decent level all the time. Did hear some not so great news --- the guy ( and we have sought his judgement a lot before for any sort of electronic issues ) at Walmart said that the newer routers will likely only go 3 yrs. or so. They are better and easier to put together and cheaper. So, he said, no matter what you pay for these things don'[t expect it to have the long lasting abilities of the older ones.

Seemed a terrible blow but then thinking of what rental cost through our cable company we would be still ahead to buy a router ourselves. They charge $5.00 a month rental -- not bad, except that is $60.00 a yr. for a whole lot of years. Getting a router ( customer choice ) that fits our needs is less then $50.00 and will last at least 3 yrs.

I think most things nowadays are not made to last exactly -- and will have a shortened shelf life. Dh told me that my new dishwasher ( though I got it at a really good price ) will likely only make it for 7 yrs. My old one could still do the job ( with a little help here and there ) and it was 20 yrs. old at least. So, I'm convincing myself that with my great flexibility this doesn't bother me a bit. It does but will just add some woe and life is too great to get upset about building things that don't last. Ladies, at least we do.

ChiSandy

I hear you. My top-of-the-line LG French-door/bottom-freezer fridge is only 6 yrs old but slowly “losing it:" sometimes one of the crispers freezes stuff no matter how I set its or the fridge's controls; the icemaker leaks from its joint with the front door and on to the top of the freezer drawer, and the ice comes out of the tray in a solid block I must manually hack up into dispensable cubes. Natch, it's out of warranty and service calls have long wait times and high costs. But for $3K, I can't replace it yet unless it completely croaks and repairs would be more than half its replacement cost. The dishwasher, a German-made Miele, is just as old but will probably outlive me. Ditto our GE semi-pro range. Even our Krups toaster oven is still hanging in there at 10 yrs old—so I can't justify the cost of a spiffy new Breville. We're on our second gas-grill (hooked up to the natural-gas line), and its temp. gauge is dead (we use an IR thermometer) and igniter finicky (a $2 gooseneck Bic or even a fireplace match takes care of that). We could have bought larger, shinier and cheaper grills, but we don't want to deal with charcoal or propane.

Nice and dry today (had to water the tomatoes and got bitten on the hand by what looked like a mini-aphid). Storms tomorrow though.

carolehalston

My clothes dryer, bought 2nd hand when we moved into this house 20 plus years ago, is making a shrill squeaking sound that indicates some malady. I wanted a new matching dryer when I bought a new washing machine a few years back but that seemed too impractical. I hope the dryer lasts through my 2-week stay. When we return home the first of October, we can deal with buying a new replacement.

IllinoisLady

Whatever noble aims we may have, paths we may be on, or necessary efforts
we may make, our only real freedom is to awaken now, this very instant, to
the mystery and miracle of being, to the spacious awareness that we are.
It is only this immediate awakening to the deepest levels of ourselves, to the
conscious source that connects us all, that will enable us to experience and
manifest real harmony, intelligence, kindness, love, and compassion in our
lives and bring about the transformation in the world that we all wish for.

Dennis Lewis

IllinoisLady

Fingers crossed Carole. Sounds like a bad belt but I always worry when things are pretty old -- that the first thing that breaks seems ( if you fix it ) to rapidly lead to the second issue arriving.

The last time I bought laundry appliances, I bought a matched pair. Kenmore front loading machines. The kicker is ( though not a bad thing ) that you have to leave the washer door slightly ajar after use. Water collects in the rubber seal around the door and mildews badly if you don't. I had Maytag before but Dh thought they were getting to the time they would start needing repairs. I would not have switched but their was an incredible ( for me anyway ) sale. So, I cleaned up the Maytag pair and sold them. They looked brand new but were 8 yrs. old --- about the age now of their replacements.

Dh built me a platform ( just the right size for me ) as the Kenmore pair actually needed pedestals if you want to use them well. As I'm tall -- that wasn't workable for me and the price for them was atrocious as well --- so Dh made me a wooden one, long enough to hold both washer and dryer and was about half the size of the store pedestals in height, --- and I can fold on top of the washer and dryer since my laundry is a hallway alcove.

Sticky today if the weather man is right. It was nice yesterday though. We are into heat --- and I think some of the nuts will start coming out of the trees. I'll have to start parking away from THAT tree now. Not fond of this time of yr. but mainly as it is what begins the process of our foliage starting to look dry and tired. For now though I'm enjoying green and lush.

Hope you all have a beautiful Sunday.

VelvetPoppy

I bought my washer two years ago -when we remodeled. It replaced a machine only 5 years old. Our first washer was a Whirlpool. We bought the set when we got married in 1979. H's uncle had a dealership and he gave us a discount as a wedding present. The washer lasted 25 years and it was used almost everyday. The dryer went almost 30 years. It didn't get used like the washer because I hung out whenever I could. The dryer I have now is maybe 8 years old. It gets used everyday like the washer because S washes his own clothes,usually after work. It is beginning to squeal, so I am thinking it may give up soon. I like large capacity machines because I do full loads and the new washer has a really deep tub. I am short and can't reach to the bottom to empty it. I asked H to get me a small step-stool so I could reach in, but he said I might fall in, so he bought me a pair of long handled barbeque tongs. They are perfect! I can reach into the tub and catch the clothes and pull them out piece by piece.

IllinoisLady

Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige. It is discovered in goodness, humility, service & character. -W Ward

IllinoisLady

Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige. It is discovered in goodness, humility, service & character. -W Ward

duckyb1

When I downsized from a huge home to a one floor large home, but smaller then the one that house my 6 kids, husband myself.l....I bought a great all brick home that needed really tender loving care inside.....I got it for an amazing price and my sons gutted the entire place...wall to wall, floor to ceiling, down to the rafters........everything was brand new....heating, A/C, plumbing, electric, floors, windows, ceilings, walls all taken down and made a straight thru home....when i say everything was done, I mean everything....all fixtures, appliances, jacuzzi tub, marble bathrooms.....complete kitchen......I even have a tankless water heater that only heat water when you turn on the faucet and you neve run out of hot water.....all the bells and whistles............only thing I don't like is the front loading washer......like the "no agitator" feature, but none of the other nonsense that goes along with it.......the water collection in the front (which I always make sure I get dried out and leave the door open......plus not being able to add something afer it starts and you say "Damn I missed that).....but do like the fact it doesn't beat the hell out of your clothes......so there are "trade offs"......we wanted to stack them one over one, washer and dryer.............well my son said "Mom, let me see how high you can reach before we stacked them........I could not reach the dryer, even on a stool, which he said "no way in hell are you getting on a stool"...so they went side by side...........hate the washer.......hate a front loader, but I chose it.......my fault.......but that was my only one.....LOL

Chevyboy

My new washer is coming Wednesday! It is a GE, and has the agitator.... I have had this Kenmore for 15 years, and the lid will not work right! Have to have the lid down for it to work...but somehow I have to prop it up, and then hold it down on the front corner to get it to work... I'm just DONE fooling around with that!!! DD has the Energy Saver or whatever you call it... no agitator...

Yes, I will probably have to reach the bottom with a "grabber"... but I use one for everything around here! Hah!

IllinoisLady

Good for you Chevy. Even I have some issues with those new machines that have no agitators -- I can get to the clothes, but it is a stretch for me at 5'8 which is why I would no longer be able to have my custom pedestal in my laundry area. I have thought ( not sure what they are called ) of buying the bigger set of the kind that come permanently attached to each other --- an all in one unit. I would have to have a folding table built if I did that --- but I have pondered that for some time now. My mother ( in one of her mobile homes only had room for one of the all in one types --- and she liked it okay. Her second much larger mobile -- actually a modular, had room to be side by side. I think the biggest thing to her ( that way for most of us I'm sure ) was not to have to go to a laundromat.

Chevyboy

And I just moved our old washer out of the house!!! Disconnecting the hoses took the longest....! Then twisting and pulling with the 2-wheeler, out the damn door, I finally got it out on the damn patio!

I didn't want to ask DH for help when he gets back, because everything on him hurts.... he says! So I did it! Now I just have to clean up the floor, cupboard, and side of dryer! I'll spray it with that Lightning car cleaner! I'm so happy & relieved now!!! Geez, sometimes I amaze myself.... not to brag or anything.... but don't you just rather do something yourself instead of putting up with all the moaning & groaning???

IllinoisLady

Yes !!!