Starting Chemo February 2009?

Artemis

I'm in pity party mode today, too.  I just can't stop tearing up.  I allowed myself to get my feelings hurt with Mr Artemis early this morning (which had nothing to do with him; it was just my imagination running away with me...), and I've been feeling sorry for myself about one thing and another every since.

I'm wondering if this is the beginning of the Tamoxifen SE's.  Lord, I hope not.  I can't live like this everyday.

Things for which I am grateful:  a husband who has yet to miss one single appointment with me since this whole BC mess started, a son who is wonderful and supportive, friend and family who are helpful and encouraging, my terrific church family, and The Fabulous Furies!

Tearfully yours,
Artemis

Jaimieh

6 weeks and 3 days lack of hair growth picture

living4today

(((Artemis))) hope your day improves, if not just enjoy the pity party and do it up well!  After all, tomorrow is a whole new day!

I just got back from PS had to have my girls deflated to do radiation.  Didn't hurt as much as I anticipated--thankfully!! 

KerryMac

Artemis - sending you on vacation to Bora Bora! Actually, we could all have a bungalow....

apple

i could use a vacation.. had a scan today.. i probably have to do another round of chemo.. I'll find out Monday.  My supraclavicular node is still hard.

my best best best friend, my director - (I hired her ) is battling breast cancer too.  Fortunately she only requires a lumpectomy and radiation and the tamoxifen.. we hope.  she just had a pretty big lumpectomy today.. a few months back she jokingly said to me 'i've always been proud of my huge bosom"  and of course was immediately chagrined when she realized she said that to me, who was missing a whole boob, who has always been nothing but a less than an A cup.. (not that anyone cares about that).

(i play for the ensemble/choir she directs - I used to run it, pitifully.  - she took us to a much higher level... we're off for the summer but are looking forward to resuming mid August).

There is so much breast cancer around.. yuk.

KerryMac

Oh, apple, I am so sorry to hear that. Can they radiate it too, or has it been fried already? Is there a different Chemo they can try out? Stubborn thing. Keep us updated when you know more, I will be thinking of you all weekend....

You are so right - so much BC around, and all in wonderful women too. Why can't it pick on someone horrible...?

Artemis

Jamieh ~ your hair looks about like mine except that mine is beginning to get darker.

living4today ~ Thanks for your encouragement.  I'm glad your deflation went well.

KerryMac ~ Now that's the place to be!!


apple ~ blessings on you and your friend.  I will pray hard that your scan is clear.  I hate that you have to wait til Monday to know.

Furies ~ I was AGAIN on the rads table for over an hour today!  This is the third day in a row!  They seem to have trouble getting me lined up just right, and I have no idea why.  Had I not heard so much good about this clinic from so many different people, I might be looking for another one.

Happy Independence Day (USA) tomorrow in case I'm not on.  (Probably will be, though, as I have no plans.)

Love y'all,
Artemis

living4today

(((apple))) here's to clear scans!!!  Praying for you!

webwriter

I'm so angry at this disease right now I can't even see straight.

Clear scans, Apple. No more chemo. NED! And Stay There!

Going with Artemis to Bora Bora until I can think clearly again.

Rest in Peace RanD. Our love goes with you!

Bethie1

Thanks Kathy-kitty is fine, cute and adorable.

Kim--get your feet up! I've had mine elevated everyday sincechemo began back in Feb., cause in the beginining I got puffy.

Judy--thanks for the reminder. In fact, my brother said Bob called today to pick up his dress shoes and a few other things he "forgot" when he got kicked out when in fact he could've gotten them the other day when he was here.  He's now trying to use things that as an excuse to come and see me.  I got his game figured out!!!

webwriter

Stay strong Bethie! You're doing the right thing.

Kim, I'm sorry I didn't address your question earlier since I had so much of it. Strip the salt from your diet, keep your feet up as suggested and if it doesn't come down pretty fast ask your doc about Lasix and Potassium. My ankles got to 9"...yes, I tracked it and photographed it for posterity, before I got the help I needed with it. It's totally gone now (13 weeks out) and I'm measuring at 6 1/2 inches again.

Beverly11

I still have swelling in my feet, hands, legs and also my face.  My last chemo was on June 9th but I can't fit my rings yet.  Haven't been able to wear my rings since March.  My oncologist is not concerned.  Just another wonderful chemo side effect.  I gained about 5 lbs with chemo & I swear that it wasn't me overeating.  I kept active for most of my chemo.   One day, my weight went up 6 pounds. 

apple

Hi Beverly..

i think the chemo drugs slow our digestive systems.. all the stuff just stays in the intestines, coming out slowly.   i like prune juice and drink quite a lot of it the days following chemo.. followed by fruit.   others drink 'digestive teas' or do bulk laxatives.

I think it is a holiday today.

xpectmiracles

Good morning, girls! I gained 10 pounds during chemo, even though I tried to stay active. The funny thing is my clothes still fit the same. Did that happen to anyone else? It's been about 2 1/2 months after chemo ended and I have lost the weight, plus some. I have been able to get back into running. I may be eating less lately, too. I don't have the appetite I used to. Is that a side effect of tamoxifen?

MicheleS

Hi everyone!  I've been super-busy at work so I haven't been posting as much.  But, I read everyday and ya'll are always in my thoughts and prayers.  Count me in of the edema-gang.  My wedding ring still doesn't fit eventhough I've lost most of my chemo-weight.  This is the same ring I was able to wear throughout all 3 PGs (where I gained HUGE amts of weight... like 60+ pounds each time).

I also haven't posted as much 'cause I didn't want to bring ya'll down.  Another lady passed away this week on another board (nosurrender) that I go to alot.  Again, a TN-lady... I didn't cope very well when I found out.  Plus one of my mom's friends died of pancreatic cancer AND the daughter (only 40 yrs old) of another of my mom's friends died of liver mets just 16 days after her diagnosis. It was all too much and I freaked.  I'm doing a bit better today but am still droopy.

I had my 1st Avastin-only treatment yesterday.  It went really well.  I didn't throw up even once.  The wonderful chemo nurse stopped my pump before it beeped (the beeping makes me puke... how strange it that???)  and I was on my way in no time.  My counts are still cruddy... slow to rebound as the onc says.  He didn't use the "L" word but called it worrisome.  We are going to check my counts again on the 23rd.  If still bad, I get a neulasta... if bad after that, maybe a bone marrow aspirate to see what's happening. My counts *did* come up some somy onc says he "feels like"I won't need any of that... As he put it, we should have taken a break around taxol #10 or even stopped... Oh well, hindsight's 20/20.

DD has her 1st swimming lesson today.  I'm off work (but on call this 3-day weekend) so I get to go.  I'm sooo excited to do something *normal* with her!

I hope everyone has a GREAT weekend.  {{{hugs}}}

Michele

MicheleS

Apple~ praying for you.  Will light a candle for you at mass Sunday.  I can't believe that you have to wait over the weekend.  Very unfair...

MicheleS

Bethie~ Life is too short to deal with his crap.  Stand your ground!!!

Denali

Apple, wishing you a report of clear scans on Monday.  Imagine us all stuffed in the dr's office with you.  Try not to breathe in any feathers molting from our feather boas.  It's amazing how we all share each others problems.  Now I'll be thinking of you all wkend.

Bethie, you DO NOT need stress in your life now!  Kick the boyfriend to the curb and leave him there.  Seriously, think of the effect stress has on what we're going through.

Michelle, did you throw up this much during your pregnancies too??  Wishing for you an iron stomach--even during the IV clicks!

Ok.  My dogs and I will take a beach bungalo too.  Delicious margaritas in my hut every day at 5.  Come one, come all.

I keep thinking about taking a vacation and I think it's because I'd love to have a week not to think of health issues.  Chemo is done, but my Herceptin only tx is delayed due to a drop in my MUGA results (heart test).  I'm so tired of this.

MicheleS

Oh Linda... MUGA troubles??  We are a motley bunch, aren't we???  Yes, I puked non-stop when PG... had to get fluids all the time.  I also have motion-sickness... I'm sure you are shocked.

I'll take a bloody mary instead... tequila makes me puke.

apple

why am i not surprised.?  michele
?

straight tequila makes me puke.. yuk (been quite a while, a decade or two since i;ve had a shot)

Jaimieh

Linda~ I started taking CoQ10 and it seemed to help my echo.

Michele~ Breath in, Breath out......  You know we are here for you......Your counts will keep coming up....... 

As for me it's finally sunny in Florida   Off to the beach... I will check back in tonight.

gcpommom

Apple:  big (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))  to you while you wait.....picture yourself in that little bungalow and all that gorgeous blue water....I'm sorry to hear about your friend, it is good that she does not have to go through chemo, though.  Hang in there, you'll be in my thoughts this weekend  

Jaimie:  Is photography your hobby?  You should post some of your pics you take.  I'm glad the rain has stopped, yay!!! Get out there and enjoy yourself girl!!!  I love FL....palm trees, ocean....sounds wonderful! 

Artemis:  (((hugs)))  I hope you are feeling a bit better....we are bound to have our emotional days, I'm sure your DH understands that...

Kim:  are you talking about TE's?  why do they deflate them, and for how long....will it interfere at all with the whole expanding/exchange process?  sorry, full of questions today

Kerry:  wow, what a gorgeous picture....I wonder if the water is really that blue? 

Web:  Sorry to hear about RanD....I didn't know her, but have read some of her posts.....this disease just sucks.

Cheryl:  I have also been less hungry in the last week or two....I think it is a combination of stress and no more steroids.....Good for you for losing all the weight....I have only lost about 3 lbs so far, and want to lose about 4 or 5 more (I was a bit underweight going in to this, so I don't want to be my pre-chemo weight)   I want to start exercising, but my body is in so much pain all day, the thought of exercising...well, it's just not happening right now.

Michele:  ((((((((hugs))))))))  I am so sorry for all the losses you have gone through lately, no wonder you feel so sad.....I'm glad you're back with us, where you can get lots of hugs and support.   I forgot you were getting Avastin after the Taxol....it's great that your first tx went well!  No puking, yeah!!!   Are you experiencing any neuropathy since finishing Taxol?  I swear mine is getting worse, I just want it to go away.  Mostly the pain and aches now, the numbness is the least of my problems. 

It's funny, I've always said that tequila is the only liqour that gives me a hangover while I'm drinking it!  Although I used to love drinking Tequila Sunrise when I was younger...

Hugs, and everyone enjoy their 4th of July!

Judy

elizzim

Hi to all Furies,

I apologize to everyone for dropping out of life for the past couple of months! I intended day after day to check in and write, but my dose dense AC regimen took a lot out of me. By the end, I think I just needed a break from feeling like I = cancer patient....But I've missed you guys and wanted to see how it's going for all of you. What I appreciate most of all about all of you is the way you put this journey, which sometimes really makes me see the glass as half empty, into perspective again. I always come away with renewed hope. (Just got a dose of that from Kerry's last post.) 

I've just had my exchange surgery on June 30th, and not sure how I feel about these new puppies yet! I'll let you know.

-Liz 

Jaimieh

Judy~ I am a photographer but i had to close up shop until I feel better.  The best part is I am able to do so thanks to my DH. 

gcpommom

Jaimie:  is photography your job then?  You said 'close up shop', so I take it you do your photography outside the home.  I'm glad you are able to get back to it....one of my daughters is interested in photography, but we can't afford the camera she wants...one of those digital SLR's--man, they're expensive!!!

Liz:  good to hear from you again....I'm glad you are doing well.  Yes, everyone here is wonderful at lifting your spirits!  I haven't had my reconstruction yet, but from what I've read, the implants will soften and drop after a while.  Hopefully you will like the "puppies" when they are all settled!

Hugs

Judy

Jaimieh

I am an on location photographer.  My first love is to photograph infants but I do everyone inbetween with some weddings.  Tell you daughter to learn everything she can about the camera that you have and start there.  I agree with the SLR's being expensive.  I got a new one when I was diagnosed (it was a present to myself) and I still am trying to master this one (and with Chem. brain it takes me a while).  I would post a link to my website but I tore it apart when I started chemo. I will post it once I get it back together.  It's my goal for this month to get it together. 

KerryMac

Jaimie - I am a very keen amateur photographer! My dad is actually a Professional too. Do you have a web site or anywhere we could check out?? Glad you are finally able to get some sunshine! Soak up that Vit D!!

Michele - hugs to you, come and post even if you are feeling crappy. Actually, especially if you are. Remember, there are many, many, many women who survive this. No reason why it won't be you.

Liz - great to hear you are all done and have nice new perky "puppies"! 

Wishing you all a Happy July 4th!! What are peoples plans??

Our upstairs bathroom is now finished, and lovely! It was the small one, they are starting on the main floor one Monday. Did #22 rads today - finish up next Wednesday. Saw my rad onc - he was amazed by how little skin reaction I have had. said i was doing very well. Don't have to see him again for 3 months.

Anyhow, have a lovely weekend everyone. We took the kids to see Ice Age 3 today - not bad at all - AND it was in 3D!!

KerryMac

Oops, jaimie, you answered me already. I think we posted on top of each other! can't wait to see your web site once it is up again!

kmn0701

HI LADIES!!!! Hope you are all well. I wish we could all meet up in Bora Bora, how fantastic would that be?? My brother & sister in law have been there & YES the water really is that blue. Their photos were amazing.

I'm a month out of my big chemo & starting to feel pretty good. However I start Rads next week, so I'm not sure how long it's going to last. Blah! No hair growth yet, I'm still  shaving it. I think I'm going to HATE it between stubble & about an inch long. And I have NO idea how to style short hair!!!

Cheryl, I'm jealous you've lost your weight! I gained about 15 & have only lost 5. My clothes are tight. :-( Cancer sucks. I hate it.

How about a Vegas trip?!?!

Oooooh Kerry! We went to see Ice Age 3 today too. Not in 3D though. Cute movie!

elizzim

Kerry, thanks for the tip about Ice Age 3 - I'll take my girls as soon as these drains are out! And how exciting to have beautiful, new bathrooms. Good for pampering.

As far as the "puppies" are concerned, they are actually less perky than the TE's were. (I'm in the minority in that I liked the cosmetic results of my TE's.) It's so strange to wake up to "breasts" you've never had and are not familiar with. I"m thankful to have them (I'm single and can't imagine navigating dating one day without some form of reconstruction), but I look at them, and they are - at least at this stage - such foreign objects!

Can I ask what supplements you have all gotten back on once chemo began winding down? I'm confused about what's safe and what's not.

Have a great 4th everyone. I'm so glad to be back in your company!