Starting chemo January 2009?

lisalisa

jrgolomb - i LIKE your thinking!!!   let's plan something!!!

VEGAS is cheap right now....hotels for next to nothing!  anyone interested?  i so need a weekend trip to get me thru rads!!!!!

holtbolt

LisaLisa, Jrgolomb - excellent idea!!!!! Ahh Vegas... the city with most fake boobs per capita... sounds like the perfect place for the January Jewels..

lisalisa

Holtbolt, Jrgololomd - Let's DO IT!!!!  I can't do the week of the 4th of July or the week of July18-25.  But, any weekend before that works for me!

How about May?  or early June?  Summer gets so HOT there anyway!  I would seriously LOVE to meet my Jewels!!!!

misty123

Holybolt and Lisa, congrats on being done with chemo, it feels weird to hear all you ladies talk about rads and oral treatments when I have nothing else to do, I am happy in a way that but I am kinda scared that there is nothing else that I can do that is why I choose to have a prop mast to feel proactive and have a sense of control over my life.

I am so happy for all of the Jan Jewels for being strong and supportive for each other.

ktym

Have you guys looking at Vegas checked out the TaTA Sisterhood Vegas trip thread? 

marlenet

CONGRATULATIONS TO LISALISA  AND  HOLTBOLT! 

ddlatt

congrats, lisalisa and holtbolt!!!!!!!

i'm finally back on track. enzymes look good, so i go back on chemo this friday for chemo (taxol) #7. if all goes well, my last chemo will be may 1st.  wheeeeeeeeeee

lisalisa

ddlatt - glad you're back on track!!!! go enzymes go LOL!

ladyjane54

Congratulations Lisa and Holtbolt. I am thrilled that you are done.  I will start my taxol tx tomorrow (1of 9) so I will not be done with chemo now until June11trh.   Rads will follow this summer but hope to get in a 4th of July trip to the lake in Minnesota where we go most every year with my DH's family.  Does anyone know how all you can wait to start rads after chemo is done?

Went back to work yesterday and I held up surprisingly well.  I thought I would be exhausted by the end of the day but it was not bad.   Feeling a little more tired after today so guess I will go off to bed early tonight.  Will be working in a.m. before p.m. treatment tomorrow.  

Haven't had chemo  in about 5 weeks now.  First and only taxotere was on 3/2 and just yesterday I lost my nail on one of my toes.  Isn't that weird.  Did anyone else lose nails from taxotere or taxol? 

Read with horror somewhere on line about a woman who had permanent hair loss from taxotere. I am not sure if I could live with that. I guess I would have no choice, but sure sucks to think about.  And as she and many others said, why was I not told permanent hair loss was possible before I did taxotere.  Was anyone told that?

Well got to get dinner on the table so I can start thinking about going to bed.   Even though we turned the clocks awhile back, my days still seem too short because I usually go to bed so early these days. Not looking forward to having trouble sleeping again when they start the steroids again.

Been raining for two days and they are predicting sun for tomorrow so that would be nice.  A little sun may make tx a little easier.

Patti

ktym

Ladyjane, yep lost some toenails.  Was told no way it could be the taxotere, now that I'm dealing with the neuropathy I'm kind of doubting that.  Yes, I've seen the thread here about permanent hair loss.  Scared me so I asked about it before I started, they told me no way, never heard of it.  Hmmm, I have

jrgolomb

Ladyjane---yeah, I read that thread as well.  I don't like thinking about the possibility of losing my hair permanently.  I feel so bad for the woman who has had to struggle with it for three years.  I wonder why that possibility is never discussed?  When i ask the oncologist about that issue, he said he never has encountered anyone with permanent hair loss---so I don't know. 

 Get togethers...Is it horribly hot in las Vegas in August?  I bet it is....I have never been there, but wow what a great time it will be.  Middle of June?  For me, the 12/13th is out---I have camp for tkd and then the 18th is my family reunion.......Should we wait until people are done with rads?

let me know!

jrgolomb

I just have to tell everyone what happened to me.  I know part of what happened is because I am in a chemo fog and so not up to my usual game, but I feel so bad because someone knowingly took advantage of my current situation.  As I have mentioned before, I am a high school teacher of students with learning disabilities.  Overall they have been very good to me.  They have been helpful, always cleaning, mindful of sanitation and have tried to work hard not only to help me but seemed to want to buy into my program as a way to help them rise above the academic struggles they endure.  I have appreciated their support and felt driven to go to work because of their zealouness.  

 I wish I could say this had continued, but today a student took advantage of my spaciness and my difficulties with multitasking.  Today was the day I had to go to the hospital for the weekly wbc bloodwork.  As I was getting ready to go-during the prep hour- a student walked into my room to ask me a question. i answered and left in a rush because I wanted to get back in time to get ready for the next class.   When I returned, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and inbetween that time, the student who came into my room earlier, took money out of my purse!  He must have noticed money in my purse when I was diggin for my lab slip. 

The principal and policeman said he was so fast and I feel very invaded and upset!!! He probably would have gotten away with it because I wouldn't have needed the money till I went to the grocery store. But for some reason he went back into the room when I was around the corner with a group of students working in a computer lab.....I thought I had locked the door, but I have been getting mixed up with the simple task-I lock the door instead of unlocking it and vice versa.  

The only way I found out he took the money was when one of my students went ahead to my room and said the particular student had just left my room.  If he had never told me that , the kid would have stolen my money and gotten away with it!   This is the kid who always wanted to pat me on the back and help me carry stuff!  Yeah, now I know why!  Kick the dog when it's down!

Again, I feel so invaded, so hurt and so spacey..  I hate this chemo fog.  And gosh, I hope the chemo does its job.   

Thanks for reading and responding.  I am amazed at my mood swings.  One minute I am happy because I am so close to being chemo done, the next minute full of dred because I feel recurrence and then I get binged by a thief!  Right now all I can do is rub my lunago white head and I have to admit I broke down and drank a FREAKING GLASS OF ROBERT MONDAVI 2007 MERLOT!!!!!!!!!

 Hey lisalisa, what about NAPA VALLEY!!!!!!????????

BerkeleyKim

Jess--I'm so sorry about what happened to you today, and haviing one of your own students pull that on you must just feel like a kick in the rear. It sounds like your student took advantage of a simple mistake that even teachers who aren't in chemo make (and I know plenty who've had their entire wallets lifted from their desks or purses). He did wrong, and it must feel so terrible since you're trying so hard to do your best for your students.

It is so hard to try to focus and get the through the day without making mistakes. I realized I sent one of my 1st grade students back to class after testing him in a far off room without calling his teacher to let her know he was on the way (we have a wide open campus where kids and walk off and strangers can walk in--scary).

Yup--some nice wine at some spa in Napa sound great right now. Anyhow, hugs Jess--and I can right this minute relate to the ups and downs. Going to my first support group tonight and better eat quick or I'll be late. I'm afraid I'm just going to start crying when I talk...

YearoftheHat

jrgolomb - I am really sorry to hear that.  It's just awful that it was a kid who went to lengths to buddy up to you.  Terrible!  I really feel for you.  It's sad for that kid....confused, wrong track! 

The neuropathy is creeping up the legs now.  I am taking taxol not taxotere but also saw the threads on permanent hair loss. Even if it is rare, it should be mentioned beforehand.  That is no minor side effect and different drugs are available for anyone put-off by that risk.

Holtbolt and LisaLisa - Congrats!!!!!

Sweet Brent got up at 4 a.m. to go to the gym.  He believes he can fend of hereditary colon cancer with exercise, so out the door he goes every morning at about 4.  Then he drives about sixty miles to paint the inside of an arena.  This is a really rough job for him where he is 80 ft in the air and using heavy, high-pressure equipment over his head all day.  He's been working on this for a few weeks now.  So today he started at 4 a.m. and won't be done at the arena until about 9 or midnight, somehwere in there, then he drives home for an hour or so, sees if he can unwind and sleep a little, then he gets up and does it again tomorrow.  We are not kids!  How long does he think he can keep this up?  I so wish he didn't have to work so hard especially now that I am having treatments.  I just don't have the energy to do extra things for him but am at least trying to keep the house clean and functional so he doesn't have to deal with that kind of aggravation.    

Sadie, Chuky and I are watching Taxi Driver.  I'm going to fold towels and go to bed.  

Hope you ladies are all doing well.

lisalisa

jrgolomb - i'm so sorry about your terrible day.  ugh.  you know....Napa sounds like a GREAT idea.  let's take the wine train and enjoy LOL!  or just go out for spa treatments and decadent meals!  i can drive up there from so cal and then we'd have enough space in our cars for all the jewels that want to come!  i'm serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!   plus, its not so hot there as vegas!  and all us rads girls can't be baking in the sun....we'll be toast!

berkeley kim - you're close by....are you up for a napa/jewels weekend?

year of the hat - oh my, your sweet husband is working hard!  and so nice that he cares so much to exercise to keep himself healthy for your entire family!

re: the permanent hair loss.  i read that thread too.  i have to say, that would be torture for me.  truly.  good news is that my hair is already about 1/4" or maybe more and i even shaved it a few times during chemo!  my hair grows fast i think.  a friend gave me some Nioxin to help with hair re-growth.  i need to get this chemo out of my body first....but does anyone know WHEN i can start using the nioxin?

i just took my LAST 2 steroid pills and threw that bottle in the trash!  hooray!  now, off to take an ativan and SLEEP!  g'night jewels!

kt57

Ok, me and my steroid brain, are going to start this for the third time and hope I don;t delete it ,,,again.  ya have to laugh!

Jess: I would feel so violated and angry -- then deeply hurt.   I am glad he was caught.  With any luck he will learn from this and never repeat his actions.  some kids have poor judgement, act impulsively and make horrible mistakes.  maybe the consequences will turn him around in a positive way.  So sorry you had to be the teacher of this lesson for him.

Year of the Hat: 4 more steroid pills for me.   I'm with ya about tossing the bottle!  The Zofran bottle is not far behind.  think I'll hang onto the ativan for a while.  Congratulations on being done!

Tomorrow I move to the "other side' with those of you through chemo...Shocked-- you'll be here Friday and the rest of you, soon!    One more round of SEs....then on to the next adventure...for me, that's "extreme tanning"  . 

Thank you all for being here for me through this.  Our shared experience has been so very helpful.   You are all remarkable women.

I would love to meet all of you -  I love the idea of a restorative spa in the Napa Valley.... and a good merlot!   If we can't all go, it sure would be nice to stay connected here.  I propose we all commit to logging on a minimum of once a week through the end of the year to update everyone on how we're doing. It will be healing for all of us to experince the healing of each of us.... what do you think? 

ktym

Jess, sorry to hear that.  My heart went out to both of you.  You because this stupid disease already makes us feel so vulnerable and half of the healing is getting rid of that, and then to have that happen.  Someone in authority there will check and make sure given this economy that the kid wasn't hungry and desperate?  I agree with Kathy and hope that he learns from it and it doesn't happen again.

ladyjane54

Kathy:  I hope everyone will continue to log on at least through the end of the year as most of you are moving on to rads already and I still have 9 weeks of chemo to do. I am sure I will appreciate hearing how you are all doing and will be strenghtened by the fact that you all made it through chemo and know I will too.  Had to laugh at the 3rd time posting. I can not tell you how many times I have deleted before I got it posted..Glad to hear I am not the only one with that problem lol.

 Jess sorry to hear about you theft at school.,  I have enormous respect for anyone who can teach in highschool.  I think it is a frightening place to be even for some of the students.  I know my freshman daughter has had a rough year and I am glad it is almost over.  I will keeping teaching the little ones they still like their teachers and school.

I would love to get to meet some of you but you'd have to wait a little as I am behind you guys.

School was cancelled this a.m. due to a power outage so I am home trying not to think about chemo this afternoon. After not having it  for 5 weeks it almost feels like the first time all over again and I am really nervous.

Think I will take my dog out for a walk while I still feel up to it.

Have a great day Jewels.

Patti

PLUTZ

Hi ladies. Well its day 4 and I still feel like crap. I called my nurse yesterday and sure enough the excruciating pain I'm having is from the taxotere, not the neulasta shot. She told me to take 800mg of motrin, but of course I didn't have any and I couldn't even get around much less drive to the store to get some, so I called my DH at work. Got my pills about 3:30. I slept on and off all night. My neck and back are still very sore. I've got the numbness in my feet and mouth sores. I'm going out to dinner with my family tonight, but I have no idea what I'm able to eat. The nurse said it gets easier. HA! Between the decadron, taxotere and neulasta, I think I'd rather have my a/c treatments. I managed to go to the store, but was very winded when I got home. I wanted to get out. It's a beautiful day. Its actually going to be 60 degrees!

ddlatt- so glad your getting back on track

Jess- sorry to hear about your students theft. Theres enough stuff going on in schools. My daughters just received a letter yesterday regarding a male student that commited suicide last year. There was an article in our newspaper a few weeks ago about it and the parents are sueing the parents because he was bullied by their son. The school started a suicide group. Can't remember what its called. I just hope it spreads to all schools and gets students involved to prevent such tragedys.

I think it would be so great if all of us could meet somewhere after everyone is done. I won't be done with rads till Aug. Would any of you consider coming to Cleveland in September for the Race for a Cure? I'm hoping I have the energy to walk it. I'm going to start my short walks around my block when I start feeing better.

Hope all of you have a great weekend.

shockedat39

Am I allowed to post YouTube links here?

I had to share this with my sisters.  I probably should post in the humor section, but I know that a lot of my January sisters need a laugh! 

Sorry if I'm not allowed to do this but I have to take a chance..I've watched it 5 times already and it gets funnier every time.  Enjoy!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gHvATmUsSg&feature=related

jrgolomb

Shocked--Hilarious.  Thank you.

Plutz--Yes, these are the problems we often encounter in our schools.  Our school has been vey fortunate to have a wonderful group who offer superb mental health support, espcially when it comes to suicide ideation.  My heart goes out to all those who suffer from depression.  I am gratified to see your daughter's school has started a support group.  Very important.  I hope it lasts and is able to be far reaching.

yes, the Race for a Cure is a good idea, Plutz.  I so hope we can figure out a way to gather together.  Going to Ohio may be a bit easier for the midwesterners and could also be good for those finising rads around that time????

Just to get an interest list going, who would like to look into the Napa Valley trip?  I wonder , is this summer too soon for the rads group?  Gosh, isn't it a wonder to consider all the options we have????  That is exciting!  Gosh, Vegas sounds good, Napa sounds wonderful, Ohio would be close...all in all I hope we can come up with a plan and meet each other.  ALL of you have been so important to me these last months of my life.  I feel like I know you intimately, yet I have never met you face to face.  That boggles my mind.  Yes it is true, we have been drawn together by a common-albeit unwanted bond- but we have responded, reacted and been there for each other through the benefits of a flat screen and the ability to communicate.  I have benefitted from this interaction.  Thank you and GO JJS!!!!

jillyG

Weird thing just happened at the playground/park by our house.  We just moved here and I don't know anyone in the neighbourhood yet but I met two really nice mom's around my age with kids about the age of my kids, so we all started talking and that went on for about an hour, so I am happy I met 2 new people.....BUT I noticed one of the ladies was wearing a wig, I could just tell it was and her son went to tell her something in her ear and she said quietly 'be careful of my hair, don't tug'.  Here's the question.......is it rude to ask her if she is wearing a wig?  I thought so, so I didn't.  I really wanted to because I want to know if she is a survivor as well, ew may have a lot in common.  I had a hat on so nobody can really tell, they probably think I have short hair under it.  I think I'll mention that I am off work for cancer next time and just see if she says anything....who knows maybe she just has thinning hair, I certainly don't want to pry, but am very curious if she is a 'sister' lol. 

misty123

jess- I am sorry for your lose but don't blame it on chemobrain or yourself, a thief is a thief and always looking for a chance to take from trusting people which is your only fault and I find that a great fault to have, I also admire your desire to give to our children and the community by being a teacher. i know their are many honest students whom appreciate the gift you share with them daily, keep up the good work.

Good healing energy to all the Jan jewels!!!!!!!!!!!!

lisalisa

Hi Jewels,

I don't mean to be a downer....but seriously, this 6th cycle of T/C has kicked my butt.  I have thrush again (3 out of 6 cycles), I'm still on my disgusting Flagyl for c-difff....add to that that I"m red from steroids, bloated and dizzy.  Jeesh....picked up my daugther from a playdate, took my car to the carwash and ended up so dizzy I didn't think I could drive home.

My DH and daughter are off to Catalina Island this weekend (planned well before my chemo dates were delayed).  They are going with their Indian Princesses group.  So, I'm left with my 9 yr old son.  Luckily, he's going on a sleepover tomorrow night.  I swear, I hope I'm feeling better in the coming days.

I do want to chime in and say that i LOVE the NAPA idea.  I brought up Las Vegas b/c its on sale LOL!  seriously, prices are way down.  But, Napa is more relaxing, more to do, nicer, prettier , etc.

I'd really love to meet you all!  We can talk schedules and make sure that all who want to go, are done with rads/surgeries/etc.  No hurry!!!!

You're my lifeline and I have to meet you IRL!

Off to bed now,

Lisa

ktym

I would love a NAPA trip to finally meet my support group.  When I talk about you I think people assume we're always meeting, which we are, just not in person.  The problem is I've taken so much time off of work, now that I'm heading back in a few weeks I don't know when I could get off again.

Lisa, I'm so sorry you're feeling so poorly.  I can't imagine making it through 6 cycles--3 about killed me.  I got thrush every time too, it is just the pitts.  C.diff is a nasty illness and I'm sure having it during taxotere only made it worse.  If I wasn't clear across the country I'd come over and try to help you out this weekend, I really would   All I can say is thank goodness your'e done with that part of this journey

ktym

Lisa, todays New York Times webpage in the Health section has a big section on C.diff.  and how serious an infection it is becoming.  Give yourself a pat on the back and a hug, you've been through the works recently

Renrel

Napa sounds great but I am not sure I could swing it.  I have exhausted all my sick and vacation leave and if I am going to ask for unpaid time off I probably will do so for a family vacation rather than a personal retreat.  I am used to have weeks of time saved up so this empty bag of leave time realy makes me uncomfortable.  I am also not sure about travel costs given that I am on the other coast.  Vegas might be doable on a weekend and with discounted rates.  In a year things will hopefully be easier to manage. I too would love to give an inperson hug to all my precious jewels.

Yesterday was a Sping Fling Brunch at my son's school. Unfortunately we could only eat one food due to passover which really bummed him out.  I grabbed left overs so he could have a muffen for dessert last night after we broke passover restrictions with pizza and a video.

After that I went to the CVS and got a disposable digital camara to finally take some pictures of all my head gear.  The tattoos are obviously not going to last long.  So hopefully I will post a picture soon.

Then over the hospital where I was too late for yoga but vistied a HS girl in the pediatrics unit being treated for lukemea.  He mom thought she would like my butterfly tattooed head.

Then I went to the boutique and they had new stuff so I spent a mini fortune on summer hats.  Some will be returned. I spent so much time there I missed knitting hour in the resource room.

I did make the writing workshop though and I was the only attendant so I got one on one writing therapy.  I wrote several poems that I am rather proud of.  A few of them I could not read out loud without starting to cry, so maybe I am uncovering some of my hidden emotions.

I posted them on my carepages so if any of you want to take a look you can try to get on the page.  Here is the link.

www.carepages.com/carepages/LiveLoveLaugh

 Today DH is home due to financial issues at work so I get to relax a bit while he takes DS to the driving range and then to school.  

I am feeling OK.  A bit tired but the decatron helps with that.  I seem to get hit the hardest week 2 not week 3.

I should go take my decatron, I am about 2 hours late.  

Wish you all I good day. I will try to do shouts out later.  

lisalisa

kmmd,

thanks for the mention of the NY Times c-diff article.  wow....i think i'm doing okay....can you imagine? 6% of people DIE from c-diff.  I just feel like sh!t....not bad in comparison. whew!

I'm trying to help my DH get the kids packed for their trip (daughter) and sleepover (son). Then, back to my bed with my puppies.  Wierd....I haven't spent a night ALL ALONE in so many, many years.  It will be me and my dogs tonight!  I'll keep my phone close by if I need anything!

ktym

Lisa, glad you found it.  I think people just hear "bad diarrhea" and think it's no different then their last case of flu.  Thought you'd appreciate a little ammunition or reassurance that it is a big deal and when you add it in to chemo you are superwoman to be doing what you're doing right now.

kt57

Lisa:  You hang tough girl!  You will get through this --- one LAST time.   On your own time is just what you need--- you can just tke care of you....

I'm on day 2 of LAST TC - you know, the one when ya still feel fairly good.... It is 77 degrees next to our frozen bay and I am heading outside to enjoy it -- who knows what tomorrow will bring.  So happy to be done.   My husband is an tax accountant ( 25+years now) and we celebrated the end of his tough time-- long hours and lots of demands.   He's happy to be able to be around more for me...  Work has been a needed distraction for him as he has been worried sick about me.   Now we can both get back on track together - am looking forward to that.    

SIX doodles = now all crossed off - what a great visual!   X X X X X X ! 

Have a good weekend, Jewels.